News On Teh March [Updated With Extra News]
In our first story this evening, a Michigan man almost blew his hand off with a homemade cherry bomb. Debbie Schlussel reports.
Above: Schlussel
Since Muslim terrorists are generally more clandestine–and occasionally more clever–than that, looking for the best way to hurt the most infidels and not get caught, the man and his buddies might not be Muslims. But who knows? We know how the media generally tries to shield the “Religion of Peace,” from any and all crimes–like the Trolley Square terrorist in Utah, the UNC jeep jihadist in Raleigh, NC, the Seattle Jewish Community Center terrorist, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam.
Regardless, I would be remiss in not pointing out the large Muslim Paki, er . . . Pakistani population in Canton. After all, I wouldn’t want to disappoint my friends from the deceptively-named, Nazi-funded Media Matters for America.
His neighbors in Canton certainly deserve to know his name for their own personal safety. And I’ll be following this case.
Thank you, Debbie. There remains no evidence that the man is Muslim. Also in the news, domestic terrorists attacked a women’s clinic, and a right-wing militia in Alabama was raided by Federal agents:
Militia raid targets weapons
Explosives, ammo found; 6 men arrestedSimultaneous raids carried out in four Alabama counties Thursday turned up truckloads of explosives and weapons, including 130 grenades, an improvised rocket launcher and 2,500 rounds of ammunition belonging to the small, but mightily armed, Alabama Free Militia.
Six alleged members of the Free Militia also were arrested by federal authorities and are being held without bond.
It is unclear whether the weapons cache included homemade cherry bombs, or whether any of the suspects are Jews Muslims. Wait, I mean Jews no, Muslims.
…I’m pretty sure it’s the Jews we’re supposed to be putting into camps, isn’t it?
Oh, no, wait: my bad. It’s totally teh Muslims.
Update:
Feds Accuse Alabama Militia of Planning Machine-Gun Attack on Mexicans
BIRMINGHAM, Alabama — Five members of a self-styled Alabama militia were denied bond Tuesday after a federal agent testified they planned a machine-gun attack on Mexicans. A sixth man accused of having weapons and explosives components in his home was approved for release.
It doesn’t say whether the Mexicans were Muslim.
I wonder if, when Democrats regain control of the executive, there will be some sort of overt motion on their part to identify these homegrown right-wing terrorists as “terrorists”.
What kind of howls would that inspire among teh rightie blog peeps?
…and does she have some sort of basis for saying Media Matters is Nazi-funded, or is that just another braindead little dig?
This woman looks like Rachel Dratch playing Mean Jean Schmidt in a blonde fright wig.
You know, there are muslim men in nyc who sell incense. That stuff is flammable. Put 2 and 2 together, people!
Meanwhile, a man was convicted of corrupt business practices in New York. The media hasn’t mentioned whether he’s Jewish or not, protectors of the “Chosen People though they are. And hey, it is unethical business practices, and it is New York, so …. Are you with me, Debbie? Smile and twirl those split ends at me if you mean “yes.”
jesus fuck christ
From the very first comment to debbie’s little cry for attention,
“Hospitals can be notoriously (justifiably so) protective of personal privacy, and notoriously, (un-justifiably so) lacsidaisical in security. There has to be someone in, or near, Dearborn that has the curiousity to take a peak about the Hospital, maybe even chat up a Nurse, Orderly, or visitor. Who wouldn’t appreciate a visitor bearing flowers, or a basket of fruit?”
jesus fuck christ
Can I challenge Gavin to a photoshop deathmatch, insult everyone here and infer that they all are doped up hippies and then go mow my lawn for five hours?
Why is it that whenever I see her I think,”tranquilizer darts and a big net”?
It’s sad,no one loves any of these “conservatives”enough to do an intervention.
THE PROOF IS GEORGE SOROS’ REPEATED COMMENTS ON “60 MINUTES” AND PBS THAT HE ENJOYED ROUNDING UP JEWS AND SENDIND THEM TO THEIR DEATHS AS A NAZI “APPRENTICE.” NEXT, YOU’LL BE ASKING: PLEASE PROVIDE PROOF THAT UNFROZEN WATER IS A LIQUID.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL
needless to say, direct quote.
THE PROOF IS GEORGE SOROS’ REPEATED COMMENTS ON “60 MINUTES� AND PBS THAT HE ENJOYED ROUNDING UP JEWS AND SENDIND THEM TO THEIR DEATHS AS A NAZI “APPRENTICE.� NEXT, YOU’LL BE ASKING: PLEASE PROVIDE PROOF THAT UNFROZEN WATER IS A LIQUID.
Did she say that? For reals? I live in the Antelope Valley in north Los Angeles County and I read stuff like that in letters to the editor (and, come to think of, the local columnists write like this too.) and I hear it on the street all the time. So I can’t tell if this is a joke or not.
Help.
His Grace
Can I challenge Gavin to a photoshop deathmatch, insult everyone here and infer that they all are doped up hippies and then go mow my lawn for five hours?
Sure, but can you do it with that special brand of passive-aggressive “lookatmeeism” that others bring to the table?
And, since it simply has to be said.
Unfrozen water can be a gas. Y’know, like love.
The next time my ass explodes after too much dai-jing bean curd I am totally phoning the cops.
What’s wrong with being a doped up hippie?
You tricksied me into clicking on the Little Green Fascists link.
They’re still whing about Nancy Pelosi going to Syria. Meanwhile, Dr. Ferragamo is on her way.
From today’s Canton Observer.
I don’t know Clint. I just don’t know if I’m quite that narcissistic. You know what would be awesome? If Ann Althouse came by and challenged Gavin to an Ann Althouse photoshopping contest.
And T4Toby, I may be paraphrasing Kevin here, but I think he’d say something like “Hippies are what’s wrong with America. And what’s wrong with America is that there are too many hippies.”
That quote about Soros…that’s for real? Holy shit. I bet even Mark Noonan would say, “Wow, that’s nuts.”
As someone who grew up near the Michigan city of Rives Junctionabama, with its heavy population of southern-esque rednecks (Confederate flags welcome!), we never used laser pointers on aircraft landing at nearby Reynolds Field, but I did drink an entire bottle of Boone’s Farm, and drove down nearby Airport Road hurling epithets at low-flying aircraft. We were an amazingly sophisticated lot back then, eschewing black powder and ping pong balls for the victory-like smell of homemade Molitov Cocktails in the morning, and Sno-bowl bombs hurled into nearby ponds in the afternoon sun (it was then, he says with 1,000-yard stare and a single tear rolling down cheek, that I shot my first man, a friendly fire incident that left a B-B lodged in my friend’s cheek).
We were mostly Reaganites back then, which passed for a kind of religion in those parts of southern Michigan, what with our screaming, “Wolverines!” into the dark of night, which for some of us passed for as much religion as we needed.
Follow the link to her column, folks. Added to a comment made at 4:46 pm today.
NEXT, YOU’LL BE ASKING: PLEASE PROVIDE PROOF THAT UNFROZEN WATER IS A LIQUID.
Well, it could be a gas.
Beat you.
Tried to tell her that, but she probably won’t let the comment through.
THE PROOF IS GEORGE SOROS’ REPEATED COMMENTS ON “60 MINUTES� AND PBS THAT HE ENJOYED ROUNDING UP JEWS AND SENDIND THEM TO THEIR DEATHS AS A NAZI “APPRENTICE.�.
Wow! That WOULD be awesome proof, if he had said anything remotely like that.
Now the Pope…oh forget it.
Anyway, as a 14-year old, Soros cataloged some Jews’ property in Hungary (as the family had fled to Lisbon) while posing as a sympathetic apparatchick’s ‘godson’ — in Debbies eyes, that makes him a Nazi stooge.
As a 53-year old, Schussel has less of an excuse being a fascist.
And now, Debbie Schussel simulcast in German …
I cannot believe she is actually using the term “Paki”, and then sneering at the idea that it is a racist term.
When you find it on a webpaged called “List of Ethnic Slurs”, there’s a good bet that it’s – an ethnic slur, and therefore racist.
What’s next from her? Wog? Pickaninny? Seriously – I’m definitely not the language police, but I don’t think you have to be the language police to prefer people avoid using obviously racist, derogatory ethnic slurs.
infer that they all are doped up hippies
you make it sound like its a bad thing
I would be remiss in not pointing out the large Assho…er..Buttmunch population on Fox News.
Jillian: There’s a backstory for her use of the term in this post.
You know what would be awesome? If Ann Althouse came by and challenged Gavin to an Ann Althouse photoshopping contest.
except that we already know what would happen. She would totally lose and then claim she won, and then say she was trying to lose anyway, and we don’t get it. And then claim that a sock puppet made her entry. And then lie about what she initially said.
Oh my gawd!
They are banning my VLOGS. Will try to upload to liveleak or videoegg (problem with the egg is a 5 minute max.)
Dear Member:
After being flagged by members of the YouTube community and reviewed by YouTube staff, the video below has been removed due to its inappropriate nature.
Atlas Vlog the Defeatocrats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rgegjMufEA
Please refer to our Terms of Use and the Community Guidelines for more information on what video material is not permitted on YouTube.
— The YouTube Team
UPDATE: Here’s the banned Vlog
What will we do without shrieking harpy vlogs?
At least we’ve still got Carmella Hairspray!
Tbogg was there first, so I just have to paste the same comment in here:
Oh, fer the love of pete! Young men have been making things that explode for fun ever since there WERE things that explode. I grew up making everything from cherry bombs and salutes to pipe bombs and light-bulb-based electrical detonators.
I STILL make salutes every summer. Four parts potassium perchlorate, one part fine-mesh aluminum powder, mix with GREAT CARE, use half inch PVC pipe from the hardware store. Impressive bang and flash.
Oh, I’m a Caucasian of Irish extraction from northern california.
It’s much more a case of boys will be boys than it is a case of muslims will be terrorists…
mikey
THE PROOF IS GEORGE SOROS’ REPEATED COMMENTS…
Um.
Holy shit.
Jews are such Nazis.
I was in the crowd that the “UNC Jeep Jihadist” drove at in March 2006, and I’m pretty sure I was in Chapel Hill when it happened, not Raleigh.
What is with that light pink crushed fish scale lipstick and the bleach blonde hair? Does the combo make her unable to parse simple logic problems?
UUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
I heard that the tanker crashed in the Bay Area this weekend was not, in fact, driven by the son of a legal or illegal immigrant – it was commanded by Allah himself, and was on track to collide with a busful of Jews before it suddenly veered off course into a concrete column.
Every time a wingnut brings up the UNC jeep thing, they need to be reminded of this white Eagle Scout UNC law student’s shooting rampage. Unlike the jeep guy, he actually killed people:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990CE0D61F3EF934A15752C0A963958260
Yeah, Mikey, I was wondering how so many of the Irish Catholic boys I grew up with in the Bronx during the 1960s managed to get training in the Muslojihadist Terrorist Art of the Incendiary M-80. I was also wondering what the Canton “terrorist’s” blood alcohol level was. As Jeff Foxworthy says…
“What are the four most dangerous words in a redneck’s vocabulary?
‘Hey y’all — watch this!'”
This woman looks like Rachel Dratch playing Mean Jean Schmidt in a blonde fright wig.
…with a little bit of “Theater of Pain”-era Vince Neil mixed in there too.
in Debbies eyes, that makes him a Nazi stooge.
No, in Debbie’s eyes, that makes him a Nazi.
I posted this over at Deb’s place:
I mean, come on. Nobody could be serious about that, right? She’s like the General, or Jon Swift, only with a cheesy blonde rinse. Right? Right??
Back in the ’80s, I must’ve been a jihadist Muslum, since I, too, experimented with Molotov cocktails and whatnot. Luckily for me, the MSM kept my setting the forest on fire under wraps, since they wanted to protect me, bless their politically correct little liberal hearts.
Then in the ’90s, I was there in Chapel Hill (after I’d converted from Islam, I guess) when that white dude shot up some folks, cluelessly driving right into the scene of the crime. Thinking: Man, that police car sure turned that corner fast…
Now in the ‘oughties, I’ve joined the hippie brownshirts. Or is it blackshirts. Or maybe multiculticolorshirts. I forget. What I remember is that we gleefully use our truncheons on anyone who disavows human agency in the global warming debate. We pretty much beat down doubters until they resemble a pile of play-dough and bacon, or something.
So, some dumbass blows his hand up with a M-80. Therefore, the only logical course of action is to assume that he is a Muslim terrorist who was rehersing in his plan to blow up THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! WIth a lazer on the moonbase. Aimed into a volcano.
Seriously, how do these people sleep at night? Not from the shame over their public lunacy, but from sheer, constant worry and terror that every single thing that ever happened or will happen is the impending trumpet call of their death by crazy people?
If anyone is looking for a carer path, I highly recommend “gastro internalist”, because there’s going to be a shit load of ulcer cases cropping up withing the next five or so years.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAlI_eK4iuE HOLY FUCKING GOD DEBBIE LOOK OUT!!!!
“Hospitals can be notoriously (justifiably so) protective of personal privacy,
I got it! We just suspend HIPAA for Muslimofascists. And Mexislamohomokoreanfascists while we’re at it.
Y’know, Some Guy’s on to something here. If we could get together and encourage a bunch of these right wing nutjobs fear that everything bad that ever has and ever will happen is a sign that muslims HAVE COME TO KILL US ALL!!!ONE!! that they are right and we’re moments away from being conquered by the dirty brown muslim masses and the caliphate is upon us and under Shari’a they will have to wear the veil and prey to mecca five times a day, they would get that input and it would form a perfect feedback loop and before you know it they would all soil themsleves and surrender.
It would be fun to watch…
mikey
Oh, and the Vince Neil refernce? I can’t be arsed (I learned that from my international friends, mofo) to look it up, but whoever said that was scary right. I would not expect to ever see Debbie and Vince in the same room at the same time. Yikes…
mikey
My boyfriend (raised a Witness, definitely not a Muslim) was fondly reminiscing just yesterday about the time he and his friend shot off a potato gun.
“I shot a potato into the air, it fell to earth, I know not where”
We little Irish American tykes used to blow up things with M80s every July. I remember it being quite fun. And Black Cats. And Cherry Bombs. And for me, the wee lass, Ladyfingers… I don’t remember wearing a burka while putting that M80 in the old cow skull that hung on the fence at my grandpa’s acreage.
This woman should be a finalist in the Batshit Wingnut Women’s Competition-Raving Loony Division, for sure. She rivals Pam. In fact, Pam has the good excuse of being drunk & wired. This woman reeks of evil.
If all the little assholes who blew up pingpong balls filled with black powder – or their equivalent – were terra-ists, we’d be crawling with them. Especially down by the 7-11.
oh Gavin, sometimes i just fcukin’ love you.
My guess is mizz snackcakes thinks she’s becoming an anti-pc darling, in the hopes it will raise her profile on the right.
Her first clue that isn’t going to happen is the fact Olbermann ragging on her drew no response.
Of course, she’s also batshit insane. I’m just not quite ready to say she suffered a stroke and has no impulse control anymore….. yet. Maybe tomorrow.
I live in the Antelope Valley in north Los Angeles County
I’m so sorry for you. Seriously. I had the grave misfortune to live there for two years while my dad was finishing up his Air Force career and when he floated the idea of staying there after he retired, we kids made it clear that he was insane and there was no way *that* was going to happen.
If the California Republican party weren’t such fuckups, they could control this state for a millenium. Outside of Hollywood, Beverly Hills, the Westside and the Bay Area, this state is as backwards and reactionary as anywhere in the South.
Oh, and she replied to me.
“Debbie?
Unfrozen water can be a gas.
There’s other flaws in your logic I’d point out, such as a total lack of logic, but I don’t want you to yell at me.
YES AND ACTUALLY, IT CAN ALSO BE A MIST OR SOME OTHER FORM OF MOISTURE–ALL OF WHICH I AM AWARE. BUT IN THE COMMENTS I TRY TO RESPOND WITH BREVITY. BREVITY IS THE SOUL OF WIT. BUT THE WITLESS (IE., YOU) DON’T HAVE THE SOUL TO GET IT. MY LOGIC IS JUST FINE.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL”
“some other form of moisture”
i want to hire debbie and her commenters to write stand-up routines for me. I’ll be rich.
Oy. Is she a parody site?
I don’t think she’s a parody.
I just can’t believe she graduated from law school. She makes La Coulter look like a friggin’ genius.
If it’s parody, it’s mutherfucking DEEP parody — we’re talking Andy Kaufman Land.
I’m tempted to infiltrate over there, and, after gaining their trust, just gently start feeding them disinfo re: possible jihadi acts in Murka…
(I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORTY THAT THE MSM SUPPRESSED THE FACT THAT THE COLUMBINE SHOOTERS WERE CHANTING ‘ALLAH AKBAR’ WHILE THYE GUNNED DOWN THIER FELLOW STUDENTS.)
But then I feel kind of guilty. It’d be like poking a stick in a cage of monkeys just to enrage them and get them to start flinging feces.
Would it really be so wrong?
Seriously, how do these people sleep at night? Not from the shame over their public lunacy, but from sheer, constant worry and terror that every single thing that ever happened or will happen is the impending trumpet call of their death by crazy people?
Well, the smarter ones don’t actually believe the crap they spout, so they just curl up happily and count Wingnut Wurlitzer Welfare checks until they drop into blissful slumber. The dumber ones… have you noticed all the ads & the disclaimers for products like Lunesta and Ambien? I personally suspect that Jesse Malkin feeds the prescription sleep aids to his sockpuppet as though they were M&Ms, because chronic p.s.a. abuse would help explain the glassy expression, the affect swings, the marked physical awkwardness. The cheerleader video would make more sense if you assume Michelle is sleepwalking, right?
The Vince Neil thing was me in that old Schlussel thread, mikey. Which gives me an idea…
Now in the ‘oughties, I’ve joined the hippie brownshirts. Or is it blackshirts. Or maybe multiculticolorshirts.
You old silly! Everybody knows it’s the hippy tie-dyed shirts.
Approximately ten thousand Americans each year are injured in fireworks-related accidents. (PDF link, so don’t clicky if those make your computer act weird).
Who knew there were so many jihadis here in America already? I’d love to see some stats on injuries like this from the fifties and sixties – no telling how long those jihadis have been here.
My God. Debbie is like an ALL CAPS version of Melanie Phillips
Hmm… I must have hit close to home with my speculation that Debbie is a comedienne, and that the whole hate- and fear-filled bag of sewage and bile thing is just her shtick, because she deleted my comment, obviously to prevent the rest of the world from catching on.
Hey, and how come nobody has yet started calling her Debbie Anschlussel? I can’t be the first.
Tip of the cap to HTML for the Vince Neil thing… I couldn’t remember which of the wags here came up with that comparison, but it makes me laugh every time I see Debbie’s pic.
I never realized how unreasonably racist Schlussel is until you highlighted this post. It borders on parody. Turning a bunch of morons in Michigan blowing up tennis balls into Muslim terrorists is funny enough to be a post making fun of people like Schlussel on Sadly, No!, some kind of “predicting the response” gag.
We little Irish American tykes used to blow up things with M80s every July. I remember it being quite fun. And Black Cats. And Cherry Bombs. And for me, the wee lass, Ladyfingers…
Yes, well, “The Irish like to blow stuff up” ain’t exactly breaking news for some people.
/schlussel
Yeah, Mikey, I was wondering how so many of the Irish Catholic boys I grew up with in the Bronx during the 1960s managed to get training in the Muslojihadist Terrorist Art of the Incendiary M-80.
Did you not know, Anne Laurie, that Gaelic Park was a hotbed of jihadi activity for many years? Why, Osama O’Donnell himself taught me everything I know about explosives and sent my friends Jimmy, Sean, Eugene and me on to form a four man terrorist cell that sought to take down western civilization and institute sharia law one ruined mailbox at a time. It’s a good thing that Debbie Schlussel was not on the job back then or we wouldn’t have gotten far. And don’t get me started on the madrases that went by the names St. Barnabas and Good Shepherd.
I clicked through because I assumed that Gavin’s blockquote was a satiric summary, a kind of longer “shorter”. I mean, Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin say a lot of batshit things, but they pretty clearly don’t actually believe what they’re saying.
After discovering that it’s actually on her site, and she’s apparently proud of it… I honestly feel guilty for making fun of her. She’s clearly mentally ill, and I’m sure therapy and the right meds would make a huge difference in her outlook.
Shorter Media and Rightwingers: Exploding devices are only counted as acts of terrorism when placed by brown people
It’s like somebody set off a st00pid bomb altogether too close to L’il Debbie, and nearly blew her Snackcakesâ„ off. But, then, it’s always like that.
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