The ‘I’m Dumber Than A Box Of Styrofoam Peanuts’
Crowd
John Hawkins of Right Wing News (and Townhall, and Conservative Grapevine, and the Duncan Hunter campaign, and who knows where else this bright and peripatetic young man will surface?) helps set the record straight on the war in Iraq.
Above: “Almost there…”
The I “Changed My Mind About The War” Crowd
I can understand being for or against the war in Iraq from the beginning, but the people who have changed their minds since the start of the war have gotten entirely too much of a free pass for their wishy-washiness.
Now, the average person? They may not be familiar with history, but any politician, columnist, or blogger should know that it’s not the least bit unusual for wars to be much longer and considerably more difficult than anticipated.
So while few people anticipated the length and number of soldiers killed in action that we’ve had in this war, any informed person should have known going in that it was possible that we’d lose north of 3,000 soldiers and could be there on the ground, in numbers, for more than four years. In fact, going in, some people predicted that we could lose 10,000 soldiers in the initial fight against the Iraqi military.
Meanwhile, in an alternate dimension that some know as March 27th, 2003, John Hawkins helps set the record straight on the war in Iraq:
The Length Of The War, Civilian Casualties, & How The Useful Idiots Unwittingly Help Saddam:
[…]
Before this war started, the most optimistic estimates I heard suggested that it would take about three weeks for us to win the war. But, most “experts” were saying that it should be over in “weeks” as opposed to months. That means even if everything goes as expected (which is never a given), we may very well have another six weeks to go.
Bonus Hawkins, from three days earlier:
[C]an I just suggest a little self-imposed rule for the left-wing media out there? Could you wait, oh let’s say at least six months before you start shouting, “Vietnam! It’s another Vietnam! Quagmire! Did you hear what I said? It’s a Quuuaaaaggmmiiirreee!!”
The Right Wing News archives are indeed the greatest forgotten trove of comedy since they found all those lost Honeymooners episodes. You wouldn’t believe what’s in there.
Update: Extra Bonus Hawkins, from the same day as the first quote:
I mean when (not if) we find large caches of WMD, that’s going to be very embarrassing for a lot of people who have spent the last year saying there was “no proof” that Saddam had them. And what about all the people who said “inspections can work”? They’re going to look foolish as well when we find WMD all over Iraq while the inspectors found nothing.
[whistling tunelessly, kicking a pebble]
Spiders and cobwebs?
Fetid rotting corpses?
Mitt Romney?
Porkins seems to have just about as much caring and concern for the “troops” as I do for a box of clothespins.
Awesome. I now have the official permission from some idiot I never heard of to start calling Iraq a quagmire and comparing it to Vietnam. Take *that*, Dick Cheney!
“Negative. It didn’t go in. It just impacted on the
surface.”
The stages of impending wingnut embarrassment:
Shock: “Did I write that? Couldn’t have been me. Could it?”
Denial: “I did not write that. Dan Rather is at it again.”
Anger: “Who used my goshdarned computer back in 2003?”
Bargaining: “Maybe if I can find a way to pin this on Jonah Goldberg, it’ll all go away.”
Depression: “This just really sucks. I think I need more Cheetos.”
Testing: “Mom? What was I doing in 2003?”
Besides the Dungeons and Dragons marathons, Mom.”
Acceptance: “Yeah, OK, maybe I did write that, but liberals are still really, really rude, you know. And unpatriotic, too.”
Hey, chin up, Hawkins. Sure, we didn’t find any weapons of mass destruction, because there WEREN’T any, but on the other hand we’re finding lots of smaller, more conventional weapons.
One at a time.
When they go off.
Fucking thug…
mikey
I thought this guy died attacking the Death Star.
(I’m not making fun because he is fat. I’m making fun because of the helmet which he wears by choice. Do you have any idea what it is like to go to the mall wearing that helmet?!)
Maybe he wears the helmet to protect the soft spot that never solidified. That would explain a lot. Another rightwing know-it-all that turns out to be clueless on how this fiasco would turn out. Who’d a thunk it?
“No..I’m alright…AAAAARRRRRRGH!”
“Negative. It didn’t go in. It just impacted on the surface.�
Wow. That’s an AMAZING coincidence. That’s EXACTLY what my girlfriend said last night…
mikey
“but the people who have changed their minds since the start of the war have gotten entirely too much of a free pass for their wishy-washiness.”
What about the ones who changed their minds from “against” to “for?” Are they wishy-washy, too? Or is zero too small a sample size to make that determination?
Many people read Orwell’s 1984 as cautionary fiction.
Hawkins thinks it’s an instruction book.
Yowza. One of the ads currently running at the top of the Right Wing News home page is for this book. Classy cover art.
Thanks J. I see historical inevitability remains with us.
â—? A Swarm of Ants: Find out the real reason liberalism continues to permeate more and more elements of our society and why there just may be no way of stopping it.
“Kudos to the author’s writing skills.â€?
— The Sheep’s Crib
I need about 100 of those ROFL smilies right here.
â—? A Swarm of Ants: Find out the real reason liberalism continues to permeate more and more elements of our society and why there just may be no way of stopping it.
And despite the superhuman efforts of the 101st Cheetos Brigade too! My theory is that the leftists are all Skrulls.
Huh, interesting “Liberal” strategies. Someone call Lucianne’s dipshit son, I think Richard Mgrdechian has stolen his manuscript.
any politician, columnist, or blogger should know that it’s not the least bit unusual for wars to be much longer and considerably more difficult than anticipated.
And when they are so much longer and more difficult than expected, those who said:
a) it would be over within weeks, er, months, er, one more Friedman Unit
b) the natives would be overjoyed by our presence
c) the unproven rationales would be gloriously vindicated
d) it wouldn’t cost us a thing (remember? Iraq’s oil would pay for it?)
e) trust the folks in charge, they really, really know what they’re doing.
f) anyone who thinks this war won’t be quick and easy is a fool and/or a traitor
Then those politicians and pundits are entirely deserving of scorn. Funny how they never seem to lose their jobs, though…
But hey, RobW, they’re consistent, and as we all know that Ralph Waldo Edison said, a brilliant consistency is the hallmark of a great mind…