A Shorter Extravaganza!
In honor of busy, busy, busy and d-squarred, we offer a random roundup of shorter assorted conservative authors.
Shorter Barbara Stock: Must We Loose the Dogs of War?
I received a lot of negative emails from Muslims after comparing them to Hitler, which leads me to conclude that Muslims are a great threat to humanity and must consequently be destroyed.
Shorter Debbie Daniel: We Don’t Expect Americans To Act Like That
War means never having to say you’re sorry for anything, whether it’s putting Japanese-Americans in jail or torturing dark skinned savages we picked up at random in backward countries.
Shorter Chuck Muth: Poisoning the Conservative Well
The Founding Fathers were totally opposed to forcing car-makers to increase their fuel efficiency standards. Besides, caribou love crude oil!
Shorter La Shawn Barber: The Unconstitutionality of Brown v. Board of Education
If only I had been so lucky as to attend a segregated school!
Shorter Joe Mariani: Treason or Not? The Case Against Ted Kennedy
We’re already at war for fuck’s sake so why waste our time trying to figure out if we should have attacked Iraq in the first place?
These shorters are a public service.
The first step in healing conservatism is helping the sufferers realize they’re worth mocking. This builds up their self-esteem and preps them for the next stage of therapy, leading roles in Amber Pawlik tribute flims.
“leading roles in Amber Pawlik tribute flims”
Does this mean that Dr. No is going to start talking about Barbara Stock’s tits?
The most disturbing of all these columns is the one by LaShawn Barber… people like her make the Republican party feel that they’re justified in their bigotry, and give them hope that their agenda actually has a place in minority politics.
Modern wingnut conservatism is one, big separate but equal tent.
I’m pretty sure a noted Catholic editor said that the acceptance of wingnut pundits is the logical outcome of porn.
These people aren’t conservatives, they’re Republicans with sharp teeth and Wilsonian dreams.
Robert Taft and Barry Goldwater are rolling over in their graves…
Come on sadly!, give them some slack. After all “we are dealing with the Axis of Evil. In other words Satan himself!” (Debbie does Daniel, GOPUSA)
Greater shorter post.
By the way: Is our commander-in-chief a mature adult? To coin a phrase, sadly, no:
U.S. First lady Laura Bush was warned by her mother-in-law never to criticize George W. Bush’s speeches, and the one time she did, he drove the car into the garage wall, she said on Wednesday.
…
In 1978 when George W. Bush was in an ultimately futile race for a congressional seat in Texas, the elder Mrs. Bush warned her daughter-in-law to “never criticize George’s speeches.”
She took the advice “until one night we were driving into our driveway and he said, ‘Tell me the truth. How was my speech?’ And I said, ‘Well, it wasn’t that good.’ And with that he drove into … the garage wall,” she said.