Shorter Kathleen Parker
Posted on March 22nd, 2007 by Travis G.
Above: Who’s a Breck Girl? (photo not altered by Sadly, No!)
- There’s something frankly creepy about the explosion we now call the Blogosphere, but a deceptively edited clip on YouTube achieves deep meaning and resona– Hahahaha! Lookit his hair! He just keeps combing it!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
At least Ann Coulter had the courage to use the word she was thinking of in regards to John Edwards. The rest of them have to hide behind their little code.
Just say it, Kathleen Parker. We know that’s what you think of him.
Evil bitch.
We’ve all done it. Combed the hair, worn the makeup, considered the surgery.
WTF? One of these things is not like the other . . .
So, I’m trying to understand this here.
The meme is that John Edwards looks good. And this is bad how?
Is everybody in government supposed to look heinous?
Or are they trying to imply that the American obssession with how we look is wrong, somehow? Because there’s about a million beauty aid companies who might have a thing or two to say about that idea.
I do believe that all they have on the Right anymore is playground taunts.
The conventional wisdom is that JFK won in 1960 because, at least in a large part due to his youthful good looks. I’ve got to agree with billy here. I don’t think they are going to have any luck making good looks a bad thing. At least not in twentyfirst century america…
mikey
I dunno. It looks like maybe the “Eek! Nice hair! Run away!” argument is the best they can come up with, right up there with “Look! Hillary and Obama are fighting! And she’s a she! And he’s got a middle name!”
They really can’t argue the issues — even David Brooks acknowledged yesterday on NPR that GOP candidates will have to run away from GOP policies — so they’re left with flailing away at the favored targets of the BrainStem Voters: pretty boys, wimmin, and dark folk.
Now that his wife’s cancer has returned, I expect to see an outpouring of sympathy from…wait a minute what was I thinking.
Wow, they had to haul out the extra-strength Joan Collins glaucoma lens for that picture. (Then again, maybe it’s a Photoshop filter now.) The real Ms. Parker looks a bit more like John Edwards than she seems willing to admit.
“Say what you will about the so-called mainstream media, but no industry agonizes more about how to improve its product, police its own members and better serve its communities. Newspapers are filled with carpal-tunneled wretches, overworked and underpaid, who suffer near-pathological allegiance to getting it right.”
No! Stop! I – OK I can’t fight it – ROTFLMAO!!!
Now that his wife’s cancer has returned, I expect to see an outpouring of sympathy from…wait a minute what was I thinking.
I’m half-expecting the conservatives to trot out those abortion-breast cancer ‘scientific studies’ and accuse Elizabeth Edwards of having recreational abortions in her youth.
Cuz you know how much how conservatives respect teh science.
Is everybody in government supposed to look heinous?
Yes, only people who look like John Bolton or Dick Cheney are serious about government. Everyone else is just playing to the cameras.
Apparently she’s never seen Mike Moores flick where the bushies are all getting prettied up for the cameras.
JE has more hair than a lotta guys his age, but it doesn’t look all that pouffy to me. Not if you compare it to the Mister Softee hair sculpture Tom Delay creates every morning.
Who’s taking bets on the time elapsed before Some Guy With A Website accuses Edwards of playing his wife’s illness for sympathy, and the whole thing is probably faked anyway?
Travis, you and your wiseass Sadlynaut colleagues are ruining my life by making me visit right wing blogs all the time but I’ll never be able to resist the temptation because the sad, pathetic commenters never fail to bring the funny thinly disguised as stupidity:
There’s an old saying that hair and brains don’t grow on the same head. I have an officially-measured IQ of 182 on Stanford Binet’, and approximately Yul Brynner’s coiffure’.
What does that tell you about Edwards, hmmmm?
Brains growing on top of his head?
LOL! Heck all Edwards has to do to be a “real man” and legitmate in the wingnuttery’s eyes is slay a dragon or two. McCullough can show him how.
I swear Townhall is merely an elaborate cover for those people being in group therapy sessions.
You libs are attracted to Edwards because you’re gay faggorts.
Mwahaha. You can’t win. The wingnuts shall rise again!
The meme is that John Edwards looks good. And this is bad how?
And, according to Parker, that he’s a snake ’cause he revealed his tongue. So he’s evil.
And a pretty boy.
An evil, pretty snake-boy.
She’s just upset coz Edwards doesn’t sport the Bell’s Palsy look of Cheney or the “Not only am I drunk right now but I just snorted a couple of lines before the press conference” dazed look of Bush.
it may be over for John Edwards, thanks to a resurrected video of him primping, too lovingly, his hair.
Over! She is the queen of wishful thinking.
I have an officially-measured IQ of 182 on Stanford Binet’, and approximately Yul Brynner’s coiffure’.
Bless his heart, all those brains and yet he still can’t figure out apostrophes or think up anything more creative to call Edwards than the ubiquitous “silky pony.”
An evil, pretty snake-boy.
Wasn’t that the plot of one of the Harry Potter movies?
So, I watched the video. I don’t get it. It could be worse, like when Wofwitz licked his comb while combing his hair.
The length of that video is two minutes.
And it’s slowed down quite a bit.
Jesus Christ, even dirty fucking hippies brush their hair for a minute and a half once in a while.
I personally have a hair fetish. I like my guys with long hair. See Jerry Cantrell of Alice in Chains or Eddie Vedder with his gorgeous locks all grown back like they were in the early 90s. Yum!
Believe me, the hottest men I’ve known have all had long hair. How is having gorgeous hair effeminate? I guess they think Jesus was teh gay, with all that long shaggy hair. The Romans, on the other hand, liked the corporate look.
Why do conservatives hate Jesus?
You’re welcome at S,N! anytime, Candy.
🙂
As a long-time Kathleen Parker hater, let me be the first to say, “Kathleen, you f*ckin*, c*nt*stic, b*tcht*c*l*r cow.”
Well.
There ya go, Kathleen. You’re a smart lass. I’m sure you can suss out what the asterisks represent!
I only used ’em because I wanted to be classier than you.
Wow, that pic reminds me of one my mother had done when she was a young woman. At the time, it was all the rage to have a basically B&W photo shot in a studio: the studio would then lovingly hand-colour it, giving it a beautiful and otherworldly look. And this looks kinda like that.
Man, the brushwork (or mousework) that went into this one, though. Every single area has been tinted, brushed, and otherwise tweaked about. There even seems to be a line between her front teeth and her bottom lip: sadly, it’s a flat horizontal line. Which makes her look like one of Terry Gilliam’s wacky animations. I’m sure that block from chin to bottom lip is going to start wagging up and down and she’ll pretend to speak.
Oooh, the chin is following me around the room! Hayulp! Hayulp! I’m being hounded by a right-wing chin!
“Now that his wife’s cancer has returned, I expect to see an outpouring of sympathy from…wait a minute what was I thinking.”
No, they will probably just accuse him of enjoying his wife’s cancer and using it for political gain.
Kathleen Parker – kiving proof of the adage that “beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone.”
Ms. Parker sure uses lots of big words–and French ones, too!–for “meow”.
Is everybody in government supposed to look heinous?
Denny Hastert is hot!!1!