‘Gull,’ ‘Gullet,’ ‘Gully’… Hey, Is There A Word Missing From The Dictionary?
Mark Noonan of Blogs For Bush has an important announcement for you, yes you, Mr. and Ms. Liberal Naysayer, whose irresponsible talk has brought America to the brink of defeat in Iraq.
Noonan: “Except we’re also totally winning
in Iraq — and vice versa.”
It is phrase coining time, and I’ve got a new one: The Lefty Effect. This is what happens when lefties, through their lapdogs in the media, get to say things which make America look bad in the world – what you get is the world greatly mistaking what America is all about, and sometimes this can actually cost lives. Robert Kagan sets the stage for us:
A front-page story in The Post last week suggested that the Bush administration has no backup plan in case the surge in Iraq doesn’t work. I wonder if The Post and other newspapers have a backup plan in case it does.
Oh, snap. You see, Robert Kagan is especially qualified to evaluate the ‘surge’ strategy (a.k.a. the Kagan Plan) because it was created by his brother, Frederick Kagan — although if we’re talking bias in media, neither the Washington Post nor Mark Noonan finds this salutory detail worth mentioning. Other prominent supporters include father Donald Kagan, and sister-in-law Kimberly Kagan, who now covers ‘surge’-related news for the Weekly Standard.
Above: Rusty Kagan contributes ‘surge’
column to Dog Fancy
Welp, back to whichever Kagan it is this time:
[…]
Iraqi bloggers Mohammed and Omar Fadhil, widely respected for their straight talk, say that “early signs are encouraging.” The first impact of the “surge,” they write, was psychological. Both friends and foes in Iraq had been convinced, in no small part by the American media, that the United States was preparing to pull out. When the opposite occurred, this alone shifted the dynamic. (emphasis added)
Ah yes, Mohammed and Omar Fadhil. Now where have we heard these names before…?
[Zeerp] “Hello, dum-dums.”
Oh hey, Great Gazoogle. Say, what’s this?
December 11, 2004
The bloggers in the Oval OfficeOmar and Mohammed just told me about their visit to the Oval Office this week.
They said President Bush assured them that we would finish the job this time.
They told the President that they were grateful for their liberation and that the coalition did a great job.
Bush asked them about security in Iraq. They told him that they feel safe now. They talked about hearing the news reports of gigantic explosions in Baghdad, in their city, but they don’t hear or see the evidence. It’s a big place, Iraq; the brothers keep repeating that.
Straight talk. Welp, back to Noonan:
I wanted to emphasise that last bit because it is important for you lefties out there to start getting educated on the realities of the world. What is said in the American media, especially by names known world wide, has a decided affect on how the world views America.
I think he’s talking about Harry Belafonte, but Rosie O’Donnell has certainly been endangering American security lately as well.
When you have this sort of power and influence, it becomes vitally important that you take care what you say and do, lest the the rest misunderstand, and act mistakenly in response to what they thought you were up to.
Like the time Mark proposed we sell San Francisco to Hamas and Hezbollah. That really worked out badly, especially when Sheikh Nasrallah turned up at SFO with a planeload of Syrian pounds.
You, sitting at your computer, might not understand this, but we are this Goliath of a nation which people fear to anger, but out of envy love to despise…and when we start acting, in their minds, cowardly and despicable, they feel safe in throwing their two cents into the anti-American parade.
This is true; the worldwide hail of applause for the Iraq War has turned to angry muttering since Olbermann started doing those special comments.
Fortunately, deeds still matter more than words and the deeds of President Bush and our magnificent men and women of the armed forces will last long after the pathetic words of their critics…but, critics, I do ask – beg really – for you to THINK a bit about what you say before you say it.
Coming up on Blogs For Bush: Bwahaha! Let’s Blow Up New York With A Dirty Nuke To Teach The Liberals A Lesson About Terrorism.
they feel safe in throwing their two cents into the anti-American parade.
Just while I’m having a Bitch About Mangled Platitudes day…
But no one can argue that the Lefty Affect has a decided affect.
It’s Noonan, ready with the one, two checker
Lefty Effect is in effect, but I’m the drecker
I was just thinking that.
“It’s like confetti, only hurtier.”
I’ve never understood Iraq: The Model.
The Heritage apparatchiks at the CPA divert $9 billion in Iraq reconstruction funds, and the best disinformation they can afford is a blogspot blog with two posts a week?
You, sitting at your computer, might not understand this…
Hey, Mark, don’t worry about sounding condescending or anything. I mean, sure, you’re way smarter than all us dum dums out here in the world who can’t possibly understand America’s place in the geopolictical spectrum.
But y’know, while trying to go down the stairs in the dark with the potato chip bag, the empty ice cream bowl, the pizza box and the three 2-Liter Mountain Dew bottles, Mark kinda stumbled and staggered and fell on an actual accurate truth:
Fortunately, deeds still matter more than words and the deeds of President Bush and our magnificent men and women of the armed forces will last long after the pathetic words of their critics…
See, right there in the midst of saying that journalists and celebrities telling the truth about American malfeasance in the world, he proved his point to be, well, stupidity of the first order. Because it is indeed our DEEDS, our killing, our occupying, our toruturing, our holding without due process, our saber rattling and our unbalanced support for our friends that actually causes the world to see us for the powerful hypocrite we’ve become. And no mere words can fix that…
mikey
And no mere words can fix that…
Damn straight.
And how long will the much-touted good deeds last? How long does school paint last?
But what about Daryn Kagan? Having reputedly seen Limpbaugh naked and apparently survived reveals her unholy powers.
i have a lefty affectation, does that count?
How long does school paint last?
Oh you gotta reapply all the time, especially if you don’t pay extra car bomb resistant clear coating.
Actually, that’s SFO, not SFX. And they just want an excuse to invade us anyway: “I know. We’ll sell San Francisco to the terrorists, then we’ll invade it for harboring terrorists!” (high fives all around).
With the price of San Francisco real estate what it is these days, it’ll take more than a planeload of pounds to buy us.
wait, so a guy who writes for a living is telling other people who write that writing is not the same as doing, but then says that doing aka “deeds” are what count, not writing. he does this by writing a column about it, one written, unless i’m mistaken, in toronto, as opposed to say…baghdad.
once again, and always, after every sadlyno rightwingparsepost my mind just reels.
sorry noonan not steyn, so douchebagville not toronto.
it is important for you lefties out there to start getting educated on the realities of the world
Few things are as unintentionally hilarious as Noonan getting up on his soapbox and trying to “educate” people about “the real world.” When wingnuts don’t realize that they’re wingnuts and project their dementia outward…now that is some good comedy! This is a guy who steadfastly maintains that it is a “leftist lie” that we didn’t find WMDs in Iraq. A guy whose every prediction about Iraq has been wrong. Except that he’s got it right, and the rest of the world is out to lunch. Uh-huh.
I see he’s still leaving no metaphor unmangled, too. After all, if clear language is used, the rest of the dominoes of freedom will collapse like a house of cards–checkmate.
What is it with these guys? Noonan, Krauthammer,etal all look like they just crawled out of a crypt. Maybe they are reptilian after all. But to say that would be mean to reptiles. I go to clownhall every day just to see what tripe they are manufacturing. It’s amazing. Their imaginations know no bounds and their insane resistance to facts is astounding.
[Fix’d!]
I go to clownhall every day just to see what tripe they are manufacturing. It’s amazing. Their imaginations know no bounds and their insane resistance to facts is astounding.
Yep, that’s pretty much why I check out blogsforbush. It’s so completely fucking insane, which makes it bizarrely entertaining. Do you know what b4b’s commentariat is trying to do now? Disavow any knowledge of the term “neoconservative,” claiming it’s just some buzzword damn dirty liberals made up to use as a vague insult against right-wingers.
Or at least that’s what they’re doing when they aren’t claiming Iraq is a tremendous success, creationism is true, Nazis were leftists, and various other “holy shit, are they serious? Wow, they’re actually serious” pursuits.
Why is Hugh Hewitt on my teevee?
Why am I watching Tucker Carlson?
Wait, wasn’t Goliath the bad guy in the story, a real asshole that got his big old Philistine ass kicked by a kid with a rock? Odd choice of a symbol for the US from a “patriot.” And what’s with the mixed metaphors? Maybe he should take care what he says, lest “the the rest” of us misunderstand.
Donald Kagan?
Wasn’t he with Steely Dan?
Donald Kagan is a steely dan
Wait, wasn’t Goliath the bad guy in the story, a real asshole that got his big old Philistine ass kicked by a kid with a rock? Odd choice of a symbol for the US from a “patriot.�
This goes right along with the Bibliots’ general non-literacy of their own holy scriptures. After all, this is one of the same “Let’s Put the Ten Commandments in Front of the Courthouse” crew who couldn’t name any more than three Commandments when quizzed by Stephen Colbert…
I for one await Lou Kagan’s assessment of the surge.
Was that written by a 12-year-old?
Iraqi bloggers Mohammed and Omar Fadhil, widely respected for their straight talk, say that “early signs are encouraging.�
Mohammed and Omar are … John McCain???
Was that written by a 12-year-old?
Don’t you just love the “And then he showed us the phone, and then we talked for a bit, and then he let us eat some ice cream, and then he told us to sit down ’cause we were getting too excited but we didn’t want to sit down, but we did anyway” syntax of that?
In Bush world, having a miserable war plan is not the problem – the problem is people pointing out that you have a miserable war plan.
Committing crimes is not the problem, the problem is people with the audacity to catch you.
Bushisattva
Let me shill for your new plan
Bushisattva
Let me shill for your new plan
Can you show me
The excuse to nuke Iran
As we sell our kids to China
Can you show me
Bushisattva
Kingubu – now that is some genius!
tigrismus: Actually, Goliath was no asshole. The fact is, he had the wise idea of having a duel to decide the day instead of a long, bloody battle. Unfortunately, that little jerk David had to play dirty.
Ok but here’s what happens when the stupid operates on so many levels at once. It causes us to ignore statements like this one
A front-page story in The Post last week suggested that the Bush administration has no backup plan in case the surge in Iraq doesn’t work. I wonder if The Post and other newspapers have a backup plan in case it does.
that actually equates sending another 20,000 young people to die in a complete clusterfuck with an editorial meeting.
The Royal Scam, indeed.
You, sitting at your computer, might not understand this, but we are this Goliath of a nation which people fear to anger, but out of envy love to despise…and when we start acting, in their minds, cowardly and despicable, they feel safe in throwing their two cents into the anti-American parade.
This sentence deserves to be bronzed and emplinthed. Relish with me the rolling sounds of “nation which people fear to anger, but out of envy love to despise”. That’s no less than five emotive verbs in one bitty smidgeon of a sentence. My hat is off to the man. He’s clearly never done one of those creative writing courses where they shout at you “Show, don’t tell”. Oooh, yes, we lefties are all aquiver with fear, roiling with anger, seething with envy, wobbly-kneed with love, and resolute in despite. We fear to anger, but we enviously love despision (? despisity? despitability?). We eorl de florngoom, but we newdebranck appatnitnickness.
The absolute, ‘what-the-fuckness’ perfection of this phrase is nicely counterpointed by the coy minimalism of “when we start acting, in their minds, cowardly and despicable”. Tossed hither and yon by the byzantine turbulence of the preceding phrase, we almost don’t notice the accusation that it’s all in our minds.
Mr Onan, I do ask, well, beg really: try not to be such a monumental tossbag. Learn the correct usage of phrases and proverbs. Don’t mangle your metaphors. And above all, learn the goddamned facts before you open your stupid mouth.
I feel better now.
Djur, Noonan considers himself a Christian, so it’s doubtful he sees Goliath as a hero, or at least it would be doubtful if he knew what the hell he was talking about instead of picking a name out of his ass that reminded him vaguely of Biblical battles… Maybe next he’ll praise GWB as just like that other great son of a great leader, Rehoboam.
Dear Qetesh, “try not to be such a monumental tossbag” etc? Let’s face it, this is Mark Noonan we’re talking about: Not. Going. To happen.
Mohammed and Omar are … John McCain???
No, I think they’re the two cartoon characters that Matt Groening was doing before Teh Simpson’s took off.
What is said in the American media, especially by names known world wide, has a decided affect on how the world views America.
Aaaaggghhhh!!!! That should be effect! Efect!
Or, Effect.
Reading Noonan makes me forget how to spell, too.
Yet another, “Stop reporting on what’s happening! It makes us look bad!” post.
Like Butch and Sundance.
agum said @ March 16, 2007 at 22:55
I’ve never understood Iraq: The Model.
The Heritage apparatchiks at the CPA divert $9 billion in Iraq reconstruction funds, and the best disinformation they can afford is a blogspot blog with two posts a week?
Remember the fundraising for their political party in the Iraqi elections? I’m pretty sure their list was as successful as Ahmed Chalabi, i.e. couldn’t pull approx. 1/3 of 1% of the national electorate to gain a seat in the Iraqi Parliament. Just goes to show how representative these guys are…
Dear Qetesh, “try not to be such a monumental tossbag� etc? Let’s face it, this is Mark Noonan we’re talking about: Not. Going. To happen.
Oh, tigrismus, how you’ve saddened me. I was hoping for something like a deathbed recantation, and then we could all have tea and ponies.
Now you’ve taken the magic pixie sparkle out of my world.
emplinthed
My new favorite word. Check the gizoogle results.
when we start acting, in their minds, cowardly and despicable, they feel safe in throwing their two cents into the anti-American parade.
I love this. The problem is not that “we” have started doing “cowardly and despicable” things–or even things which might appear cowardly and despicable to the rest of the of the world.
The problem is that the damn lefties make it OK for the rest of the world to say, “Hey, America! That was cowardly and despicable!” And that’s just wrong.
Gee, it sure would be irresponsible to start a war without taking into account the “Lefty Effect” wouldn’t it? Of course a great strategist like Commander Codpiece would do war games where his incursion planned to last six months turned into a four year plus occupation while dealing with violent insurgents. Then he would come up with a plan to deal with the unrest of the “lefty” 66% of the population who started to question the goals and management of the entire enterprise after three years of stagnation.
It appears that his plan is to do the same thing over and over until the result is different. Or until his feverish play is interrupted by Congress and he is cut out of the loop. (You know, children actually prefer to have firm boundaries. If you don’t set firm boundaries, they are tormented by the constant need to test tenuous boundaries.)
I think perhaps Mark Noonan meant “Gamera” instead of “Goliath.”
Gamera
Gamera is powerful, fire-breathing, clumsy, destructive, the “friend of children” and not given to thinking comples thoughts.
I’ve got one too, since it’s PHRASE-COINING TIME: I call it The Skidmark Effect. You experience it when you combine failed dreams of world domination with a handful of Klonopin to dull the pain, then write a bunch of incoherent fucking bullshit which your overmedicated, misfiring brain mistakes for wit, then flop back in your urine-reeking bathrobe and zone out on the sparkly textured ceiling spackle while you wait for your next Wingnut Welfare check to arrive.
That’s unfair!
Gamera is really neat, Gamera is filled with meat, we all love you Ga-me-ra!
It is phrase coining time, and I’ve got a new one: The Lefty Effect. This is what happens when lefties, through their lapdogs in the media, get to say things which make America look bad in the world – what you get is the world greatly mistaking what America is all about, and sometimes this can actually cost lives.
I’ve got one too, since it’s PHRASE-COINING TIME: I call it The Skidmark Effect.
I’m so lovingly envious, in a fearfully despicable way, of your Skidmark Effect, tb. Perhaps that should be SkidMark Effect. Actually, apropos of nothing, I once dated a guy who was later referred to by my friends as Greasy Mark. Hey, anyone named Mark knows te risks.
But you’ve brought something to my attention, dulled with raw fish and snoozing as it is: I never realised we were the ones with the lapdog media! There I’ve been, all these years, thinking that the WH press corp were joyfully fellating Bush at every turn, singing paeans of praise unto his Mighty Stead-fast-ed-ness and Un-Cut-And-Run-ness, when in reality they’ve been cunningly setting him up for a fall. How cunning of us, eh?
And so now the world greatly mistakes what America is all about. How wicked of us, with our lapdog media, to convince the world that all that aerial bombing nonsense was something other than the packages of balloons and cheap party favours that it really was. How mean of us to say that people are dying in, and fleeing from, Iraq in their hundreds of thousands, when really, they’re all sitting around drinking lemonade and singing Kumbaya.
I never realised we had such power. I’m gunna use it! Now, where’s that Lapdog Media phone number…
Mothraaaaaaaaaa
when we start acting, in their minds, cowardly and despicable, they feel safe in throwing their two cents into the anti-American parade.
If enough of “them” throw their individual pennies into the anti-American parade Noonan accuses us Lefties of leading, maybe we can pay down some of the billions of dollars of debt the Oval Office Occupants have accrued during Operation Enduring Fubar?
Since we are only acting in their minds, we won’t even have the pre-parade expenses for crowd barricades and porta-potties to worry about!
This is just further anecdotal evidence in support of my hypothesis that wingnuttery is genetic.
I know there are some biology-types that read this blog. Y’all need to step up here! Isn’t anybody ready for some post-doc research? George Soros would give you grant money, I just know he would!
Won’t you help cure mankind of its worst disease? The cure for wingnuttery depends upon isolating the genes that cause this horrible illness. Is it congenital? Is it the result of some environmental teratogen? We need your help! Biologists, it’s time to do what you do best.
One chronic case actually said,”I think we were welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome.”
Genetic? Oh no, please, lord, no. Don’t let it be one of those diseases that comes on in late middle age. My pa loooovvvvvvvvvs him some Tom Delay….
Shaved, I’m surprised the lapdog media hasn’t called you, begging to be ordered around. They’re disgustingly servile. After a minute you just want to kick them hard.
I actually woke up thinking that. How did you put that thought into my mind? Are you a kind of wizard?
Patkin said,
That’s unfair!
Gamera is really neat, Gamera is filled with meat, we all love you Ga-me-ra!
I dunno. An awful lot of American skulls were filled with meat instead of brains in November of 2004.
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The fact is that the President’s plan is working.
The proof is, we haven’t been attacked since Sep. 11, 2001. Much to the Left’s disappointment.
Mr. O’Reilly was right: If your not going to support the troops, you should just shut up.
The fact is that The Left is the terrorist’s true enemy.
The proof is, 9/11 happened in heavily liberal cities.
The fact is the Right is the Terrorist’s greatest ally in their War Against Freedoms.
The proof is, terrorism worldwide has grown exponentially since Bush has taken office. And have attacked several Liberal allies, Spain and London. Much to the Right’s enjoyment.
Wow, pulling Extremist Absolutisms out on your ass is fun!
You keep on pulling for bin Laden, al Ruppert. He thanks you for your efforts.
The proof is, we haven’t been attacked since Sep. 11, 2001. Much to the Left’s disappointment.
And the anthrax mailings? Interestingly also targeted Liberals, by and large. But be serious, puddin’ pie, it’s the folks on the right who get moist at every report of college students accidentally blowing themselves up or dudes going berserk in airports etc., and who always end up sooo disappointed when it turns out not to be terrorism. Face it, you and your über-nutty right-wing coterie hate America and Americans so much you want a successful terrorist attack just so you can gloat over the deaths of Liberals. The Left prays to Cthulhu and Shakira’s ass for your permanent disappointment.
Excuse me, but liberals are complete morons. I have proof. They always root for the terrorists and want to get free money from hte governments to make people gay and support their pot habits, unlike us who work hard and allready pay too many tax.
I have 80 proof.
Fixed your typo.
“The fact is that the President’s plan is working.”
Very clearly, if the result was supposed to be MORE violence…
“The proof is, we haven’t been attacked since Sep. 11, 2001. Much to the Left’s disappointment.”
Actually it was this most excellent Terrorist-B-Gone(tm) rock I bought from Homer Simpson…
“Mr. O’Reilly was right: If your not going to support the troops, you should just shut up.”
Do you have a nice ball-gag in your closet Gary?
…nice handcuffs.
“PREVIEW BUTTONNNNN!” – Kirk
The Left prays to Cthulhu and Shakira’s ass for your permanent disappointment.
Is praying to Shakira’s ass an offshoot of the previous religion of praying to J-Lo’s ass? Y’know, kinda like how Lutheranism was an offshoot of Catholicism? And speaking of Lutheran, and how he got to nail his demands to the church door, if we pray hard enough to Shakira’s ass, does that mean that we pagans get to nail that sweet little ….
Whoa! (ahem) Sorry ’bout dat. Something about the way that the wingnutosphere’s repressed sexual frustration just oozes out between the lines, kicks off the buried primeval R-complex of lusty aggression and hatey tortured syntactically abstruse sentences and … and … (flips backward out of chair, bonks head repeatedly against floor to clear out Teh Stupid contamination)
BTW – Qetesh, you are way too frickin’ funny to be hanging out with mugs like us for free. Crank out a spec script and waltz into a sweet gig writing The Word for Colbert already, wouldja?
Is praying to Shakira’s ass an offshoot of the previous religion of praying to J-Lo’s ass?
HERETIC!
since it’s PHRASE-COINING TIME: I call it The Skidmark Effect.
“Skidmark Affect” is good, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns up somewhere in the index of Krafft-Ebbing.
The proof is, we haven’t been attacked since Sep. 11, 2001. Much to the Left’s disappointment.
Why would they attack us again when that one attack got militant Islam exactly what it wanted? Afghanistan and Iraq are MESSES, and the Middle East is seething with anti-American and anti-Western hostility like never before. George W. Bush is the poster boy for al Qaida recruitment.
And as far as “the Left” – which is basically a euphemism for everyone who isn’t fooled by conservative delusions – being disppointed that there have been no more attacks , um, you got an example? And I mean a specific example. You can’t say “On this site” or “every day on CNN” or “the New York Times” and expect not to be be ridiculed for this tiresome but typical conservative response. You have to have a quote or something. And a real quote, or something that really happened? You got anything like that in your arsenal? I mean, “Bill O’Reilly said so,” isn’t much good for an argument if you want to play with the grown-ups.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Tonto, disguised as a door, gets his knob knocked off…and I’m having anti-environmentalist-nutcase fun:
“Ecosystem management” is enviro-speak for “food regulation,” and is one of the many fantasies of hard-core, pot-smoking ecologists and environmentalists.
Is it? Is it? Why wasn’t I told? I haven’t even been issued my pot ration for the week. I’ve been making the mistake of having boring old fantasies involving a bloke, some rope, and a punnet of strawberries. I shall have to look up my hard-core enviro-manual for the correct procedure.
At least they’re organic strawberries.
It isn’t fair to environmentalists that most Americans have access to practically any food we would like via local grocery stores, restaurants, and the like.
While much of the rest of the world goes hungry because of America’s predatory trade policies.
So rather than focus on new techniques, such as growing crops in the most unfavorable environments (there’s a great ride at Disney World’s Epcot Center detailing such scientific experiments which would be of great benefit to 3rd world countries)
I love this, I love this to death and back. Disney World is apparently the home of cutting edge ecosystem research. Ain’t capitalism marvellous?
And all this as part of a diatribe intended to prove that the world fish stocks are not, as suggested, declining rapidly and alarmingly. Want to see this proof? I sure did. It’s in two parts, this part:
Always absent in “scientific studies” like this one is the admission that the future is unpredictable.
and this part:
And the answer will come in the form it always has: a combination of rational thought and profit motive — two things vehemently despised by environmentalists.
How could we have been so stupid! We can’t know that the fish stocks are going to run out until they run out, and anyway, The Mighty Caped Capitalism will save us!
That’s enough of that. I’m off back to the tied-up bloke and the strawberries…
Oh, and thank you for the sweet words, wordyeti. It’s the first time I’ve ever been offered praise by a mythical creature. Give me Steven Colbert’s phone number and it’s you with the strawberries, matey.
I never realised we were the ones with the lapdog media!
Our doktorling Sonja informs me that lapdogs are hopelessly uncool among the young people… apparently this has something to do with Paris Hilton.
In order for the Left to maintain its status, it might be a good idea to acquire Afghan-hound media instead, or possibly Weimeraners. Perhaps even Old English Sheepdogs. Anything except Rottweilers, which have already been taken.
If it’s all the same with you, Herr Doktor, I’ll take the Border Collie media. They’re much smarter, and exceptionally good at herding sheep right where you want ’em.
Plus, Afghan hounds are too shaggy, stupid, and prissy-rich looking, Weimaraners are too thin to be dangerous and shiver all the time, and Old English Sheepdogs also have the shaggy thing, along with the sort of lolloping run that no-one could possibly fail to laugh at.
No, give me a few good Borders, and the world is my mollusc.
Oh, and wordyeti? It’s Luther, Martin, fat German priss. The sect was Luther-an. Geddit? Good entity.
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