Pass The Popcorn
‘Not so fast, prick’ is what most decent people think of former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich’s attempt to rehabilitate his career as menace to humanity. But now even indecent people are stating reasons why Gingrich should fuck off from politics:
[Gingrich was an] ineffective Speaker. He knew nothing about running meetings and nothing about driving an agenda.
Nearly every other day he had a new agenda, a new direction he wanted us to take. It was impossible to follow him.
[The Republican] leadership was in no moral shape to press [for Clinton’s impeachment].
It is now public knowledge that Newt Gingrich was having an affair with a staffer during the entire impeachment crisis. Clearly, men with such secrets are not likely to sound a high moral tone at a moment of national crisis.
Hear, hear! But whose quotes are those? Ahh, horrible scumbag Tom DeLay, as quoted in horrible scumbag Bob Novak’s latest column.
Gavin adds: Of course, as many of our right-wing counterparts would have it these days, the true issue is neither ethics nor moral decency, but all the rack-fracking profanity on the flip-jabbing liberal Internet sites.
If you ask me, that whole shack full of ship-jacking sack-flappers ought to shag the frat hat, instead of flak-trapping like a bunch of jag-nap chap-braggers. And I mean ‘in bed,’ as it were.
How sad that to see national leaders disobey President Reagan’s Eleventh Commandment: “Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow conservative.”
Mr. Delay and Mr. Novak would be better advised to use their voices shouting “Amen!” to Ms. Coulter’s recent remarks about John Edwards and his faggotry.
Oh, we are bitter, aren’t we, Mr. Delay?
And Gary, absolutely, you are correct. All Republicans should applaud Ann Coulter calling a presidential candiate a faggot.They will certainly make a big impression with that!
Damn, HTMLM, you’ve hit the horrible scumbag trifecta.
Isn’t Newt, like, 98 years old or something? Stake ‘im again, Jimmy.
Fake Gary. Too perceptive. Plus “faggotry”.
Damn! Tom DeLay earnestly discussing the importance of maintaining “a high moral tone.” That shorted out my bizarro-meter.
It’s like Moloch quoting Beelzebub calling Satan a douche.
Correction, HTML: Novak is not a “horrible scumbag,” but rather America’s douche bag of liberty.
Ah, Newt arrives, saviour of us liberals, to put the appropriately wacked-out face upon We-Hates-Liberalsism (or whatever fascism calls itself these days). We liberals created this powerful symbol, out of the illegitimate son of a teenage welfare mother; in the pre-1960s South, he would have barely qualified as a pleasure-boy to a gay version of Jesse Helms. We made him, we own him, and he will do our bidding: he will make right-wing extremism look even worse with his overstuffed face, bellowing bulgingly about the need for discipline as the basis of morality. Welcom back, Newt, and let us all bask in your faux (as in Faux News) intellectualism. The Big Clenis whupped you six ways to Sunday, back in the day, and now his long-suffering wife deserves the chance. Lead with your chin, man, it’s the only part of your head with substance!
It’s like Moloch quoting Beelzebub calling Satan a douche.
Beaten to the god-damned demon metaphor.
Hmmm…”Hey Short-Eyes! The Hammer’s gonna fuck you up once you’re back in the general population!”
Um, “takes one to know one”? I think you have to at least give some credit to the GOP for being willing to get their hands dirty researching moral decay so’s they can spot it when it turns up in our politics. That’s dedication!
I passionately want Newt GroinItch to win the Republican primary. When past quotes are quoted, the presidential election will take a humorously hysterical turn. Remember, these quotes are from twelve years ago. There’s no reason to think that GroinItch won’t top them before the election!
http://www.rusbasan.com/Humor/Newt.html
“If combat means living in a ditch, females have biological problems staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections and they don’t have upper body strength. I mean, some do, but they’re relatively rare. On the other hand, men are basically little piglets, you drop them in the ditch, they roll around in it, doesn’t matter, you know. These things are very real. On the other hand, if combat means being on an Aegis-class cruiser managing the computer controls for twelve ships and their rockets, a female may be again dramatically better than a male who gets very, very frustrated sitting in a chair all the time because males are biologically driven to go out and hunt giraffes.”
— Adjunct Professor Newt Gingrich, Reinhardt College, January 7, 1995, “Renewing American Civilization.”
it’s like watching Lex Luthor fight Doctor Doom- is there anyway they can both get thier ass’ kicked?
in the long history of loew’s theaters, the combined mass of all the popcorn they have ever popped (10 to the 32 power, i believe, KG) would not be enough to cover the novak to delay to gingrich triple play. it would take a stellar mass of popcorn, heavy popcorn, some kind of a dwarf star or quasar’s worth of popcorn. i’m struggling to picture this much popcorn, so vast would its physical presence be. i think only in the hyper-dimensions of string theory do we have a chance to contemplate such a thing.
my god, it’s full of popcorn.
“Decent?”
I’m sure that’s not the word you meant to use, Retardo. It’s right up there in the leftist codeword lexicon with “sensible” and “moderate,” after all, and almost as bad as “centrist.”
I don’t have a thesaurus handy, but I’m sure you can make do with “nice,” “agreeable” or “good,” and maybe even “reasonable,” if it doesn’t smack too much of compromise.
Or have we suddenly decided it’s no big deal which words people on the left use to describe other people on the left?
Grampaw –
Yes, decent. And I mean it.
You know, decent in the Dickens-Orwell sense. Moral where it counts.
To partially define through a negative, it’s what Rockefeller Republicans who pretend to be Liberals as well as those who pretend that the positive benefit of Free Trade is a natural law rather than a contrived dogma, can never be.
Flamingly fascist wingnuts like DeLay, Gingrich, and Novak of course are indecent. But that doesn’t mean that everyone to *their* Left is decent; there are degrees of rightwing, and you’re in there somewhere.
Hope that helps.
Pukeface.
Oh, OK.
So, are you willing to give Obama a chance to clarify what he means by “cute” next time, instead of tearing into him like a frenzied little terrier?
Why, no, of course you’re not.
You’d rather me assume that Obama was stupid and clumsy, and therefore the ‘cute’ thing must have come out on accident?
Who’s really thinking the worst of Obama here?
Mmmm… Giraffeburgers
No, no, Retardo.
I’d rather you assume that Obama was chiding some of the reporters in the gaggle he was talking to, given the “I hear that…” construction of his answer.
Come on, wasn’t it just ten minutes ago that people were fussing over the fact that the press was calling Obama attractive?
So I’d say yeah, it’s you, or rather your tendency to respond like a hyper little pup to dogwhistle politics, that’s making the worst of the man.
The Republican Party is starting to resemble the Donner Party.
The Republican campaigns are going to be so damn enjoyable this time around. They have so much to run from.
Sounds like the Newtster and the Bugman have some unresolved issues.
Gingrich 2008
Please please please stop saying it, even in jest. Ever since Ford, the Repugs seem to pride themsleves on picking somebody worse every time there is a race for the White House. They seemed to bottom out with George W. Bush, but there was a time when it looked like George Allen might be in a position to run. If you really wanna see how bad things could get in this country …
I was relieved when Allen showed himself to be such a headcase. (An awful lot of racists turned against him just because he was SO STOOPID.)
So I was thinking, as bad as Brownback is, as overrated as Giuliani is, as inconsistent as McCain is, none of them could be as bad as George W. Bush. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Amd then … Newt Gingrich returned. Like a monster from a Universal horror film, without the charm. (So, more like a Hammer film.)
God help us all.
Newt Gingrich is a perfect example of the motormouth syndrome: diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the brain. The guy is glib, which is why Faux News likes him, but he cannot be taken seriously.
Gingrich 2008
Please please please stop saying it, even in jest.
I don’t know, I think it could be an excellent idea. (Of course, I am going on the assumption that he would not have half a chance of winning- if you disagree then I see your point.)
What I like about it is that it would probably cause a big bunch of very thuggish, ‘indecent’ conservative types to make themselves visible when they attached themselves to his campaign. It would flush them out.
I don’t know, I think it could be an excellent idea.
atheist, In a reasonable world, it would be. But in a reasonable world, George would never been elected.
No, Newt *is* glib, which gives all the more fodder for the inevitable MSM Repub push. Combine that with Swift Boaters (“yew don’t want a woman or a colored fella to be Presnit, do ya?”), the Fox Republican Talking Points channel, and the DLC’s death wish, and a Gingrich Presidency is a real possibility.
Terrifying, I know, but as my 8th grade civics teacher Mr. Terry often said “never underestimate mass ignorance”.
Yeah- this nation does act ignorant, but it still looks to me like most people just don’t like Gingrich. He’s not even that popular with conservatives, as this post shows. I think he’d have more of a inoculating effect than a disease-spreading effect.
Gingrinch isn’t the kind of guy you’d want to have a beer with.
So of course the press will never anoint him. He’s dead meat.
Watching him savage delay is like watching the corpses start to eat each other towards the end of any zombie movie.
If you ask me, that whole shack full of ship-jacking sack-flappers ought to shag the frat hat, instead of flak-trapping like a bunch of jag-nap chap-braggers.
Ooooooooh – I am so telling your mom on you!
“If you ask me, that whole shack full of ship-jacking sack-flappers ought to shag the frat hat, instead of flak-trapping like a bunch of jag-nap chap-braggers.”
Was that authentic frontier gibberish?
Ooooooooh – I am so telling your mom on you!
Oh, come on, as followers of The Left, we don’t let a little blue language work us into a tizzy (It takes a sandwich at the very least.). So I for one think we should be thanking HTML Johnson for that passage. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, but it expresses a courage little seen in this day and age!
What one so loves about Newt is his intellectual vanity. He’s like a character out of Kingsley Amis. He regularly reminds people, “I’m a teacher,” or “I’m a professor.”
PLEASE let him run. At least in the primaries. Show me a man who doesn’t relish the thought of Newt in a spirited debate with, e.g., Brownback and McCain and Mitt, and I’ll show you a man who…well, who’s wrong.
Sorry, make that Gavin Johnson… which works even better. All this modern-day post editin’ you bloggin’ kids get up to causes a cabbageload o’ trouble, you know?
In light of General Pace’s recent remarks equating homosexuality with adultery, and using the transitive properties of simile construction, it turns out Pace was calling Gingrich a faggot! Where’s the outrage?
Gavin Johnson is right!
Dan Someone Johnson is right about Gavin Johnson being right! We’ll wire the Governor!
God, I love that movie. “Bart, they said you was hung!” “And they was right!”
The fact is that Hillary Johnson and Barak O’Johnson were correct.
They know that John Q. Public Johnson won’t countnence a guy who came from Fargo.
Sure, that’s not Pierre, but as South Dakota goes, so goes North Dakota.
The RedNecks R n UR panty drawer, sniffin’ up your flibber flabber..
The Republican Party is starting to resemble the Donner Party.
alphie, I am so going to steal that!
Robert Green: Dark popcorn might do the trick.