Taborwatch ’07: The Taboring
When last we caught up with our old Renew America pal Nathan Tabor, he had flamed out of the North Carolina State Senate primary, then landed butter-side-up by starting another of his dodgy, apparently family-supported enterprises — this time, an Internet consulting firm.
Above: Nathan “Natty Chumppo” Tabor, providing solutions since 2006
It is with a hale howdy-do that we encounter Nathan’s latest column, in which he turns his canny telescope upon the 2008 presidential election:
Don’t Count Out Conservatives
March 8, 2007[…]
Still, the man who’s been dubbed “America’s Mayor” may not have what it takes to be “America’s President.” For one thing, he lacks authentic conservative credentials. While Giuliani can claim that he would appoint a Roberts- or Alito-type to the U.S. Supreme Court, he’s pro-abortion. That means he’s beholden to the abortion faction in our nation — a faction that believes partial-birth abortion should be considered in the same light as gum surgery. Once Republicans regain control of Congress, it’s tough to imagine Giuliani signing legislation that would offer any sort of protection to unborn children.
In addition, Giuliani is not in a position to defend family values, given his history of defending special rights for people who actively engage in a homosexual lifestyle. As Michael Long of the New York state Conservative Party said in 2004, “I just don’t see Rudy Giuliani being able to sway conservatives within the Republican Party. The gay marriage issue draws a line down the middle of the street, and Rudy Giuliani is something of a champion of gay rights.” As mayor of New York, Giuliani signed a “domestic partnership” bill; he has supported civil unions for homosexuals; and he lived with two homosexual men.
Is Giuliani the most liberal candidate running for the White House? Hillary and Barack could certainly give him a run for his liberal money. But the hero of 9/11 is no conservative, and it would be a mistake for the mainstream media to count out conservatives this Presidential election season — even if it would cause them trouble meeting their deadlines.
Nathan Tabor is a conservative political activist based in Kernersville, North Carolina, where he owns a successful small business and was recently a candidate for Congress. He has his Master’s Degree in Public Policy from the Robertson School of Government at Regent University.
Hmm. But that’s not quite right. Let’s help Nathan out with his bio.
“Nathan Tabor is a conservative political activist based in Kernersville, North Carolina, where [his family] owns a successful [large] business, and [where several years ago he was] [an open-seat primary candidate] for Congress. He has [an online Master’s degree] in Public Policy from the [Pat] Robertson School of Government at Regent University, [and is currently employed as the Director of Internet Outreach for the Duncan Hunter campaign].”
We are so incredibly looking forward to the official Duncan Hunter press release on this — the one that will explain why his Director of Internet Outreach is attacking other Republican candidates on a major conservative website without disclosing any relationship to the campaign.
I dunno. “Duncan Hunter”? Sounds kinda gay porny to me…
I’d like to be givin’ him some gum surgery. Know what I’m sayin?
I think this might end up being the first presidential campaign of my life I truly enjoy, at least so long as it doesn’t end up McCain v Hillary.
The repub primaries are gonna make me cry with joy as they eat their own, I know it.
…Giuliani signed a “domestic partnershipâ€? bill; he has supported civil unions for homosexuals; and he lived with two homosexual men.
And so the…Hey, waitaminute!! Just what is Nathan “Sex is Bad, Killing is Healthy Exercise” Tabor trying to say here?
mikey
Ahhh, Tibor. How many times have you saved my butt?
Oh, wait…this guy’s name is Tabor. Never mind, then.
Calm down, you moonbats! This Tabor fella is making sense. Giuliani is too liberal. McCain is practically a Democrat. Romney is just to the left of Chomsky. I’m not worried about those three.
What us liberals need to worry about is a strong, family values, law and order conservative of faith: Duncan Hunter. He makes us tremble with fear. That man could lead a conservative re-revolution that would sweep the nation and restore the currently troubled Repulican reich.
While Giuliani can claim that he would appoint a Roberts- or Alito-type to the U.S. Supreme Court, he’s pro-abortion.
I knew Giuliani was a dick, but pro-abortion? He actively yearns for women to have abortions? What a ghoul.
Seriously, who the hell is pro-abortion?
Goddammit, start callin’ him Evil Potsie.
YO!-’06
Gavin, how did you get his eyes to look SO soulless?
Damn, that’s creepy!
He just oozes ‘EVERYBODY BURN IN HELL!’
[Giuliani]’s pro-abortion. That means he’s beholden to the abortion faction in our nation…
No, you moron. It means that Giuliani is the “abortion faction”, and I suspect that yes, he is beholden to his own personal self.
You know, there is nothing inherently wrong with online Masters’ degrees. I think the bigger problem is that he got a degree from Regent “University” at all, rather than the manner in which course material was delivered.
I trolled through the syllabus in the Robertson School for a course called Public Policy Initiatives. It sounds legitimate until you see the lone assigned text: The Bible.
Just a reminder that Tabor’s family business is growing and selling soy which, if I remember correctly, causes teh gay.
Every good conservative should join me in our righteous campaign against evil immoral gum surgery! If God wanted you to have good gums, you would’ve been born with them. And then proceed to take care of them in the proscribed manner.
From one of Tabor’s columns last month: Interestingly enough, 85 percent of the streets named for King are in the South. Surprised? You really shouldn’t be. The South is hardly the cauldron of racial tension the media would have you believe. If the South is paying more homage to King than the North is, it’s a clear indication that the media stereotypes of the typical white male Southerner are hopelessly faulty. According to CNN, Southern homage to King ranges from MLK Circle in Tupelo, Mississippi, to MLK Boulevard in Tampa, Florida.
I don’t even know how to snark at that.
“While Giuliani can claim that he would appoint a Roberts- or Alito-type to the U.S. Supreme Court, he’s pro-abortion. That means he’s beholden to the abortion faction in our nation”
More than anything else in the column, this bit is just profoundly dumb. Sharing the same views as someone (assuming for the sake of argument Rudy does) does not mean that you’re beholden to them. Rudy could only be beholden to “the abortion faction” if they vote for him, and if he might lose their vote next time round. Does Tabor really think that “the abortion faction” is going to vote for Rudy over a Democrat? I thought the Democrats were the party of death.
I trolled through the syllabus in the Robertson School for a course called Public Policy Initiatives.
And then there’s the course “Christian Foundations of Government,” offered this semester. From the syllabus (pdf):
Christian Foundations of Government—the course of all courses.
Tabor is the leading figure in the GOP who is apparently named after a major wingnut policy scheme. That’s gotta count for something.
And, norbizness, your repeated attempts to dub Tabor “Evil Potsie” are a blatant example of Ansonwilliamsism. We can’t have that around here.
We are so incredibly looking forward to the official Duncan Hunter press release on this — the one that will explain why his Director of Internet Outreach is attacking other Republican candidates on a major conservative website without disclosing any relationship to the campaign.
Could this be the scandal that finally stops the Hunter campaign juggernaut? Let us hope so.
From Tabor’s article “The road to racial equality”:
Interestingly enough, 85 percent of the streets named for King are in the South. Surprised? You really shouldn’t be. The South is hardly the cauldron of racial tension the media would have you believe.
Hey, Tabor. Ever wonder if black Southerners have anything to do with that? No, it must be all the kind “stereotypical white male” Southerners bestowing gifts to blacks by naming streets after MLK. I despise this guy. That whole article uses blacks as a prop to excuse the history of Southern racism.
Seriously, who the hell is pro-abortion?
If it applied to fuckwads like this Tabor, I could totally get behind the pro-abortion faction. Unfortunately, abortions can’t be performed retroactively…
I think the photo makes him look like John Edwards’ Evil Twin, myself.
I’ll never know why Doughy Pantload took off, but Evil Potsie remains grounded.
Just a reminder that Tabor’s family business is growing and selling soy which, if I remember correctly, causes teh gay.
It also shrinks your manhood.
I’m not saying anything, I’m just saying.
Tabor is the leading figure in the GOP who is apparently named after a major wingnut policy scheme. That’s gotta count for something.
You mean his family didn’t name themselves after The Awesome Bodacious October Revolution? Well, shit…
Potsie is too old a reference. Everyone is young on the internets!
While Giuliani can claim that he would appoint a Roberts- or Alito-type to the U.S. Supreme Court, he’s pro-abortion.
I knew Giuliani was a dick, but pro-abortion? He actively yearns for women to have abortions? What a ghoul.
Seriously, who the hell is pro-abortion?
I knew there was something wrong with that sentence. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
I think the photo makes him look like John Edwards’ Evil Twin, myself.
To me, he looks a lot like Minister Arsenew from Strangers With Candy–and he probably acts like the preacherman as well (though the Arsenew character was supposed to be, you know, funny and parodical and stuff).
Doughy Pantload has no expiration date.
I dunno. I’m older than the interets and I had to go over to Wiki to find out what a “Potsie” was. I thought I was going to find some reference to Marijuana. But no, it’s an old TV show…
mikey
“Tabor” is an anagram for Borat.
I guess it doesn’t speak well of my age that I remember the oldest Cunningham, Chuck, who was erased like a Soviet dissident a season or two in. Or that Leather Tuscadero had a vicious mullet.
Hey- look at that! I’m wearing the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
“Tabor” is also an anagram for “abort,” as in, faction, beholden to the pro-.
I have plenty of conspiracy theories about Chuck Cunningham. One was he was KIA in Viet Nam. The other was that he cam out of the closet and his name was never spoken after that.
Way, way, way off topic, but is this Daffyd?
*came*
Wow, look at that, the link worked.
He looks like Ken’s ugly brother. And they say Ken isn’t anatomically correct!
According to CNN, Southern homage to King ranges from MLK Circle in Tupelo, Mississippi, to MLK Boulevard in Tampa, Florida.
I don’t even know how to snark at that.
He must have learned that in his Bible-Based Logical Reasoning class.
Duros62, re post 35, typing one-handed?
The thing that really disturbed me about Regent U is that it’s fully accredited.
And they offer 7 post grad programs in “Leadership”, including a PhD in strategic leadership.
I read my own link and still can’t tell you what the fuck this program is.
Ooooh, snap!
Just a reminder that Tabor’s family business is growing and selling soy which, if I remember correctly, causes teh gay.
And soy causes infertility.
Plus, “Taborâ€? is also an anagram for “abort,”
I detect a conspiracy …
Also, I dunno. I’m older than the interets and I had to go over to Wiki to find out what a “Potsie� was. I thought I was going to find some reference to Marijuana. But no, it’s an old TV show…
Maybe this is why Arrested Development went off the air. No one understood what was so funny about Henry Winkler jumping over a shark.
You still aren’t talking about me. I’m much blonder than Tabor or Marie Jon’.
Duros62, didn’t that guy crash into the Death Star?
Well, I think he looks like Kevin Bacon after he was disfigured by a gang of collagen-injecting fundamentalist plastic surgeons.
The Duncan Hunter juggernaut-slash-campaign also may be in trouble with the FEC:
CREW files FEC complaint against Duncan Hunter’s PAC for giving illegal support to his Presidential campaign
http://blog.citizensforethics.org/node/710
Potsie, Edwards’ evil twin, a nipped-and-tucked Kevin Bacon . . . feh. I am much more concerned about the small-woodland-creature pelt splayed across the top of his head, not to mention the walnuts (or something — it would be irresponsible not to speculate!) nestled into his left cheek. Oh, and the tiny skulls growing on the faux-citrus tree behind him. And omigod, the eyes! It’s like they’re following me!
That made me go back up and look at the pic. Holy crap, Mort! Those oranges or whatever devilspawn they really are are gonna keep me awake long into the night. But I don’t blame you – I blame science…
mikey
And I’m pretty sure they’re laughing at me…
mikey
That “pro-abortion” big bugged me, too.
I am as pro choice as they come. I support a woman’s right to choose abortion for any reason at all, up until the moment of delivery. And it is my sincere wish that no woman would ever need to get an abortion ever again.
There is nothing contradictory about these statements.
Nathan Tabor speaks! Here he is on the 700 Club talking about his book, The Beast on the East River: The UN Threat to America’s Sovereignty and Security. The interview starts at 1:57.
What a smug kook.
[…] No! sums it up best: “We are so incredibly looking forward to the official Duncan Hunter press release on this […]
I used to order smug kook from the street vendors in phnom penh when I went back to cambodia. At least it sounded like that…
mikey
Those oranges or whatever devilspawn they really are are gonna keep me awake long into the night.
Those aren’t oranges, those are human-duplication pods from beyond the stars. Tabor is an acronym for ‘Transgalactic Alien BOdy Replacement.’
I think that’s not a North Carolina citrus, the notorious Citrus cranialis. Maybe a camellia.
Those look like apricots to me.
As for the whole “pro-abortion” thing, its standard Wingnut “logic”. They simply don’t understand the difference between tolerance and advocacy. So “hm, I may not like it but I have no right to tell other people what to do” is exactly the same as “OMG this is the best thing ever. I’m going to force everyone to do it now!”.
It’s imaginary. Nobody sane is pro abortion. Nobody sane is pro war. Nobody sane is pro nuke. It’s political posturing, tough-guy punditry or complete insanity. I’m stickin with that story…
mikey
I for one welcome our mutant lemon-skull devilspawn overlords. Nathan Tabor is but their hypnotised meatpuppet spokesman.
What’s a Potsie?
kingubu: As for the whole “pro-abortion� thing, its standard Wingnut “logic�. They simply don’t understand the difference between tolerance and advocacy.
I think that’s one reason, and probably the right one in this case. There’s also the extreme-dualist thing, where they think “We believe X, therefore anyone who disagrees with us must believe anti-X.”
Often, the disagreement part doesn’t need to have anything to do with X.
The family’s selling soy? Shit he’s practically Japanese! He probably bombed Pearl Harbor! To Gitmo with this “so-called” conservative! And yes, if he ends up with a homosexual cellmate, I’m holding that against him too.
That boi is purty. Maybe he should consider doing a porno flick with Rudy. The boi would be the bottom, of course.
Belay that. The guy is another ben shapiro wannabe.
I’m still cracking up about “Natty Chumppo”. Maybe he’s nicknamed “Cockeye” or something?
ok, blue suit, white shirt, red tie, short hair… everytime I see a pic of this guy, I think he looks like a Ken doll. Someone needs to serioiusly tell him that that “look” of his is on the way out.
Is a “Taboring” anything like a “cockring?”
[…] No! sums it up best: “We are so incredibly looking forward to the official Duncan Hunter press release on this […]