The things she does to the English language make the baby Jesus cry.

And he spoke Aramaic.

Satan, Islamic terrorists, and the Democrats are out and about like roaring lions, ready to devour any one they can.

Another goddamned fat joke. See what you guys did?

i was doing some research and i think i found a pretty good shot of Camille Paglia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Opicka.jpg

Sadly Amazing?
My lawyers will be in touch to iron out the details. We launch next week.

Bush impacted Iraq with the opportunity to grasp the gift of freedom.

This actually makes more sense if you pretend that it’s part of the libretto of a Wagnerian opera. Imagine it sung by a mezzo-soprano dressed as a valkyrie. Doesn’t that sound better?

Egaaaaad! She’s for REAL. Honest to God I thought it was maybe a parody site (the way shelleytherepublican obviously is) but nooooooooo! Obviously this whacked out broad MEANS it.

Although I will say in her defense……a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell. Unless of course, YOU were being sarcastic and I just didn’t get it…..

Fuck the Bible stuff. It’s phrases like ” impacted Iraq with the opportunity” that make me go weak at the knees.

Whew. Glad Marie ‘splained all that. Here I was thinking that the My Lai approach was not so good, but I know we’re setting folks free for Jesus.

Using the word of God as a kind of metaphor, just as God sent our Lord and Savior “to set the captives free,� so did President G. W. Bush impacted Iraq with the opportunity to grasp the gift of freedom.

A million monkeys typing for a million years couldn’t turn out something as nonsensical as that sentence. Truly she’s gifted.

And that is not even addressing the fact that she just equated God And W. Nope, no authoritarian tendencies here. Nothing to see. Move along.

“impacted Iraq”? Is that like an impacted tooth or impacted bowels?

Impacted like a meterorite. Just as God impacted Jesus, apparently: JC musta come sailing down out of the sky, whistling a warning, before crashing through the cowshed roof (pronounced ‘ruf’) and landing splat in the manger. Add fluttering squawking chickens for comic effect.

Using the word of God as a kind of metaphor

Because, you know, The Big Beard In The Sky isn’t at all metaphorical.

so did President G. W. Bush impacted Iraq with the opportunity to grasp the gift of freedom.

Makes the baby Jesus cry indeed. I think both she and Bush may have grasped a few too many opportunities.

Ah Marie, thanks for demonstrating why “Blind Faith” is a dangerous mental disease in Humans.

Jillian said,

The things she does to the English language make the baby Jesus cry.

And he spoke Aramaic.

Blasphemer! You’re gonna burn in hell for that, Marie’s gonna see to it.

You know why we don’t go bilingual in America — if English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.

… and what’s with the apostrophe in “Jon'”, anyway? Does that stand for some letter that’s been left out, as in cuttin’ and runnin’?

So her real name is Jong? Is she some kinda self-loathing child of immigrants, overcompensating with whacked-out conservatism just like Cavewoman Malkin, trying to make her name sound more Anglo-Saxon?

Using the word of God as a kind of metaphor, just as God sent our Lord and Savior “to set the captives free,� so did President G. W. Bush impacted Iraq with the opportunity to grasp the gift of freedom.

I think she’s turning into Swank. No possible reading of the above can make it remotely grammatical.

I tried reading “President G. W. Bush impacted Iraq” as “President-G.-W.- Bush-impacted Iraq”–which is certainly a true fact!–but then we’re left predicate-less. I keep wanting to know just what President-G.-W.- Bush-impacted Iraq, with the opportunity to grasp the gift of freedom, is doing. That is, is doing just as God sent our Lord and Savior “to set the captives free,â€? using the word of God as a kind of metaphor, of course.

If Iraq could spring the peeps at Guantanamo, that would make sense, but precisely how Iraq, President-G.-W.- Bush-impacted as it is, could do such a thing is left unexplained.

Using the word of God as a kind of metaphor, just as God sent our Lord and Savior “to set the captives free,� so did President G. W. Bush impacted Iraq with the opportunity to grasp the gift of freedom.

That looks like one of those spam e-mails you get with the random words in them.

All these comments about Marie’s terrible grammar and syntax, and her tendency to deep-fried wingnuttery, but not a word about my plight!

Where’s my pity party?! Can’t you see that Seb’s stolen my gf!?

It’s all about me!!!

/HTMaLthouse

Marie Jon’ was set free when she let God impact her captive womanhood. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Using the word of God as a kind of metaphor…

A simile? That’s a kind of metaphor.

… just as …

Simile it is!

Good Gods, this woman uses the English language like a blunt insturment. So much to choose from but this is my fave:

They openly displayed their joy with hugs when they first saw our troops arrive in Baghdad.

Unfortunately they then detonated the bombs strapped to their torsos.

HTML, if you mention me, I will come.

Where’s Marie’s turtleneck? I want the turtleneck. And did she inject collagen into those lips? Marie Jon’ — what have you done to yourself? Could it be…..SATAN?

This actually makes more sense if you pretend that it’s part of the libretto of a Wagnerian opera. Imagine it sung by a mezzo-soprano dressed as a valkyrie. Doesn’t that sound better?

Especially sung in the original German!

Contrary to what the “drive by media” wants us to believe about our troops, on the day came they were greeted as liberators by the Iraqi people.

“On the day came”? Wha?

And don’t you just love the versimiltude of her “you are there” depiction of the actual street scene complete with Iraqi pidjin-English dialogue:

There were plenty of welcoming shouts to the American soldiers of “Thank you, mister, thank you,” in English, of “Welcome, my friend, welcome”; of “Good, good, good” and “Yes, yes, mister,” mingled with cries of “Good, George Bush!” and “Down Saddam!”

Is she making this up or is she transcribing an old TIVO’d Fox News broadcast?

Check her caption for the picture of Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi – I didn’t know they were referenced in the New Testament!

HTML, if you mention me, I will come.

**snicker**

the opportunity to grasp the gift of freedom.

You know, I think I’m going to swear off the word “freedom” for life. Start just calling it the other F-word, or something like that. By now it’s just some weird shorthand for Orwellian insanity – the kind where you’re supposed to shut your brain off and cheer, instead of the kind where you shut your brain off and hiss (“terror”).

ah. j’onn j’onzz manhunter from mars.

You read this idiot with bated b., never knowing what linguistic delight will come next. Behold:

“The whole world is open for disastrous peril if we continue down this divided and destructive path. President Lincoln said, “A house divided will fall.” The left in this country have caused this huge cavern that will leave our country frail and weak.”

Never mind what President Lincoln actually said. Instead, join me in adoring “this huge cavern.”

Although if we do continue down this divided and destructive path, we know what to do, thanks to Yogi Berra. For was it not he who said–for the ages–“If you come to a fork in the road, take it”?

Thus, to sum up: The whole world will be open for destructive peril if we go down a divided path, because Lincoln said we would fall into a huge cavern that will leave us frail and weak.

And who put that cavern on the path? Satan, called Lucifer, and vice-versa.

Questions? Comments?

Sorry. One more thing:

Go to her article and scroll to the bottom. Read, out loud or silently, to yourself, the “Previous Articles by Marie Jon’.”

It’s poetry, I tells ya.

Yet, again we hear the brazen, out-and-out lies of Democrats who would allow a holocaust in Iraq as they call to cut off all funds to end our heroic fight for the sake of their narcissistic designs.

So, according to M’a’r’i’e’, the evil, Satanic-Luciferic-Beelzebubic Democrats are trying to call off the funding that would allow the ending of “our” fight for Democratic narcissism. Why is M’a’r’i’e’ fighting for Democratic narcissism in the first place? I mean, don’t get me wrong — I’m glad to have the help — but doesn’t that run counter to her own narcissism?

I also liked this bit:

Why do Democrats follow each other like lummoxes?

Actually, I prefer to follow other Democrats like a dunderhead — or if I’m really tired, just like an oaf — but never like a lummox. You can put someone’s eye out that way.

This actually makes more sense if you pretend that it’s part of the libretto of a Wagnerian opera. Imagine it sung by a mezzo-soprano dressed as a valkyrie. Doesn’t that sound better?

…Previous Articles by Grimgerde’

Yeah, yeah, she still writes like an autistic tourettes sufferer, but I’ve mostly quit reading her. She’s gotten badly stuck on a too-strident by half “anyone to the left of Ghengis Khan is a traitor” position that is redundant and not at all cute…

mikey

“All these comments about Marie’s terrible grammar and syntax, and her tendency to deep-fried wingnuttery, but not a word about my plight!

Where’s my pity party?! Can’t you see that Seb’s stolen my gf!?

It’s all about me!!!”

You know, things may seem hopeless right now, but after time you’ll meet someone else, and you’ll learn that this experience has made you grow as a person, and………oh, who am I kidding. The pain and anger never goes away. I say you go all OJ on Seb and Marie Jon’ next chance you get.

Isn’t ‘agape love’ wingnut code speak for ‘let’s just be friends’?

So her real name is Jong? Is she some kinda self-loathing child of immigrants, overcompensating with whacked-out conservatism just like Cavewoman Malkin, trying to make her name sound more Anglo-Saxon?

Nope. Self-loathing illegitimate child of Erica Jong.

I wonder how many jails they’re going to have to build to house the 160 +/- million American traitors who think this guy has been a monumental flamingo up*. Let’s say your average large-scale prison holds 20,000 traitorous, wild-eyed and blood thirsty liberal scum. A high end estimate, to be sure. That’s 8000 new prisons that would have to be constructed just to house the frothing rage of anti-American hatred that is the Left, or 160 per state.

I don’t think she’s given this thesis of hers serious consideration.

*It’s like a cock up, only much much bigger.

How about a roc up? Like a cock up, but of mythical proportions.

Buckeye Hamburger @ 15:21 said:
… and what’s with the apostrophe in “Jon’�, anyway? Does that stand for some letter that’s been left out, as in cuttin’ and runnin’?

I think the standard (bollocks) answer to that is “It’s French, beeyotches!”

islmfaoscist @ 18:36 said:
Isn’t ‘agape love’ wingnut code speak for ‘let’s just be friends’?

I thought it meant “Hey, guess what else we suck at: Greek!”

I still can’t get past “impacted” as a verb. I don’t care what Merriam-Webster and all the other Websters say.

In case I hadn’t mentioned it before, Sadly, No! has explicit permission to use any photoshop I do.

Barman: Do you want another pint?
Me: Yeah, impact me with another opportunity!

Marie Jon is to Facism what Yeast is to Bread. MJF=WYB?
She maketh the beast to rise to impact our lives.
Amen.

Julie O., where’d you find the original?

Mmmm… I love the way Beeeeelzebub trips off her tongue.

“They openly displayed their joy with hugs when they first saw our troops arrive in Baghdad.”

Unfortunately they then detonated the bombs strapped to their torsos.

Bush on Iraq, a little over a year ago: “I think we (were) welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome.”

Chairman Meow, I did a Google image of dolchstoss. It’s the very first picture.

I think it’s shameful how y’all are ignoring HTML’s existential angst. Seriously, not even a halfhearted “She’s a bitch, dude, let’s go egg her house”?

Some friends.

is it possible it’s 2 separate sentences?
1. Using the word of God as a kind of metaphor, just as God sent our Lord and Savior “to set the captives free,â€? so did President G. W. –
GW here meaning god warrior
2. Bush impacted Iraq with the opportunity to grasp the gift of freedom
now it makes perfect sense (what, it’s still gibberish? oh, well.)

Why do Democrats follow each other like lummoxes?
Here we are on the Serengeti Plains, and this herd of lummoxes must be the largest I’ve ever seen! As you can see, the line of them stretches from horizon to horizon, as they follow one another in their migration to fresh pasture. Any that fall behind or step out of line will be pulled down and devoured by the little groups of fleet-footed coulters that are never far away, and always alert for any sign of weakness…
/David Attenborough

Isn’t ‘agape love’ wingnut code speak for ‘let’s just be friends’?

Nah, it just means that you have to invite people over for Thanksgiving dinner but can otherwise ignore them the rest of the year.

You’re probably thinking of “Platonic love”, which is more like “let’s just be friends unless you’re a really hot teenaged boy, in which case I have some rhetorical etchings I’d like to show you.” (Based on the route Phaedrus was on when Socrates met him, the old perv was heading down to the gymnasium to pick up some nice hard bodied young men. The speech he has under his cloak is basically a “hey, boiby, how about it?” speech.)

(Flying blind, no preview button! Crossing fingers!)

Some Guy said,
I wonder how many jails they’re going to have to build to house the 160 +/- million American traitors who think this guy has been a monumental flamingo up*.
*It’s like a cock up, only much much bigger.

tigrismus said,
How about a roc up? Like a cock up, but of mythical proportions.

How about an emu up? Even bigger, and can rip out your entrails at the same time!

Oh, HTML, there, there, poor love. Come and give the kitty a cuddle, and forget all about the canine.

Herr Doktor, as soon as I started reading your impromptu epistle, I realised I was reading in the internal voice of David Attenborough, that sort of hushed, reverential tone that expresses awe without scaring the beasties. Very nice work: I tip my whiskers to you.

Now I’m off to finish the entrails that the emu dragged in.

Rrrow.

Hey! How-come the caption on the “About” page under HTML’s “portrait” still reads “Retardo?” Gaaaaaaaavinnnnnnnn!!1!!

“She’s a bitch, dude, let’s go egg her house�?

Embryonic Chicken Americans aren’t collateral damage.