Does this mean Amber can’t come out and play anymore?

Just as we’re back and ready to devote our attention to Amber again (you may remember she’d complained during our absence,) it turns out that the Ayn Randian Princess has health issues of her own:

Well la de friggin’ da. Guess who has mono. I’ve been sick since last Monday, May 10, and reached breaking point by Wed. afternoon. I left work early, and the doctor recommended a mono test as I came up negative for strep throat. It came out positive.

If this were a nice blog we’d simply wish her a prompt recovery and leave it at that. This, however, is not such a blog. So while we do wish her all the best, we can’t help but add this:

I have to remind myself: kissing my boyfriend is bad, bad, bad. Mono is not very contagious unless saliva is swapped somehow. Not kissing him is going to be hard. I’m sure he’ll put his foot down. He is always better at that kind of thing than I am. [Emphasis added.]

How entirely unexpected! Will life imitate art? Let’s hope not:

Elaine: How come he’s gettin’ so smart? I stopped having sex with Ben three days ago and I don’t know no Portuguese?
Jerry: Are you all right?
Elaine: I don’t know. It’s just the last coupla days my mind has been, not good.
Jerry: Wait a second, I know what’s happening. The no sex thing is having a reverse effect on you.
Elaine: What? What are you talking about?
Jerry: To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit’s gonna come along and pick it up. But now, it’s like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing’s getting through. You’re stupid.
Elaine: I don’t understand.
Jerry: Exactly.


Comments: 7


See, I thought you would just say he has other ways to deal with her oral fixation.


Yeah, I guess Rob and I are just cruder than you. Or perhaps you’ve forgotten that Amber is not only orally fixated, but loves cock.


I hadn’t seen the site of Amber’s that you link to before, and hadn’t realized she was restoring healthy relationships between men and women these days. At first I thought the picture of the naked couple on her front page was Lynndie England and Charles Graner getting it on in front of Iraqi prisoners, but since Amber says it’s from 1918 I guess not.


btw, my reference to England and Graner having sex in front of prisoners was based on articles like this. See also “Charles & Lynndie: A Trailer-Park Bonnie and Clyde.”


You know, this all seems too coincidental to be credible — have we ever seen Seb and Amber in the same place at the same time?


Maybe Seb and Amber are just two multiple personalities of the same person (maybe there are more — Adam Yoshida?!). They’re being of different genders isn’t significant — I recall that Sybil had 2 or 3 male personalities among her 17 personalities.



If I read this enough number of times, eventually I might laugh and cry at the same time, causing snot to run down my nose and generally causing a scene. Childless couple told to try sex A German couple who


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