Oh, It Doesn’t Show Signs Of Stopping; And We’ve Brought Some Corn For Popping…

fitzmas2.jpg


Update: This amendment to the English language just in, via comments:

Borneo writes:
It’s so cute how you try to pretend that this trial and conviction have anything to do with CIA leaks or in any way represent a victory for your kind. You all are just precious.

The term, ‘CIA leaks,’ shall henceforth refer to government leaks in retaliation against CIA agents, such as the head of the bureau’s Iraq counterproliferation desk, rather than leaks which originate with the CIA.

Accordingly, the publishing of officially-suppressed government documents and testimony in newspapers such as the New York Times shall be referred to as ‘George W. Bush Administration’ leaks, and no longer as ‘treasonous traitor terrorist-treason kill-agh! hate hate head-explode destroy-liberals bwahahaha! die-die kill exterminate’ leaks.

Liberals shall, however, remain precious, each like a unique and dazzling snowflake.

Seb adds: There’s always time for the Chewbacca Defense, via Victoria Toensing:

I am totally surprised, because the verdict is inconsistent. That doesn’t bother the law at all; the courts don’t care if verdicts are inconsistent, because they say whichever way the jury reached the decision, that’s up to the jury. But practically, the verdict is inconsistent because if you’re looking at this, you would either think Scooter Libby had decided to lie to the FBI and the grand jury, or he did not. And it seems to me rather strange that it’s split. Oh, in the one situation talking to the FBI, he did not, and in the others, he did. It doesn’t make sense. [Emphasis added]

 

Comments: 109

 
 
 

Merry Fitzmas to all, and to all a good night!

 
 

….and, oh yeah….

RAWK!!!!1!!1!

 
 

I want to see the Bush Jr. flying monkey reaction not just to this, but to the fact that their President George W. Bush Jr. just appointed a commission to review the Walter Reed hospital disgrace.

It is led by Bob Dole

and
and
and
and

Donna Shalala
Donna Shalala
Donna Shalala

who was the Health and Human Services Secretary under
under
under
under

BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!! BILL CLINTON!!

What is the Bush Jr. world going to make of this?

 
 

NOW can we impeach the bastards?

 
 

All I can say is: Heh. Indeed. [BZZT]

 
 

Now Cid, let’s not be vindictive.

Their cup of woe runneth over.

(and I just bought up all the mops and paper towels in the county! Ha!)

 
 

I say impeach.

(Of course, I been saying that for a long time.)

P.S. Merry Fitzmas!11!!twentythreeminustwelve!!!!

 
 

Or, in the words of Daniel Shorr on NPR yesterday, “The unmaking of the Bush administration marches on.”

 
 

It’s so cute how you try to pretend that this trial and conviction have anything to do with CIA leaks or in any way represent a victory for your kind. You all are just precious.

 
 

Fitznog next to the Fitztree.

And there’s a Scooter wrapped up with a bow.

 
 

step 1: convict Libby
step 2: ???
step 3: country is rescued from Pres. Snidely Whiplash

hooray for step 1!!!

 
 

borneo apparently likes pie.

I think that’s cute and precious.

 
 

Has Bush signed the pardon yet?

 
 

“This is the way the Bushworld ends / Not with a bang, but with a whimper… ”

Here’s hoping Irving decides that waiting for his beloved Big Dick to rescue him is a condition “no longer operative”. Given Mr. Libby’s famous grasp of every detail, surely he could tell us many tales of the Dubya Regency that would shock even the foul-mouthed readers of progressive blogs.

Keep in mind that whatever happens or doesn’t happen after this, Libby’s trial has permitted the DoJ to enter many scabrous details of the Oval Office Occupants’ behavior into the permanent record. Dubya may be able to squirrel a vast amount of his primary filth-trail away in his half-billion-dollar “library”, but Fitzgerald’s team has left quite a few threads for future historians to follow into the heart of the Repub darkness.

 
 

Ah, so it’s a victory for your “kind,” then, is it?

 
 

This is just a typical example of the rule-of-law liberal mindset.

Justice only emboldens the enemy at our nations peril.

 
 

the “rule-of-law-istas”

can i get a refill on this cup of woe?

 
 

Um, hello? Goat boy? I like, liek pie? Ok? Not like? It’s liek?

gee whillikers. If only you weren’t so fat that when you … oh wait. I forgot. Can’t do that here.

 
 

Gaaaaaary? You there? Come out from under the bed, Gary!

 
 

It’s so cute how you try to pretend that this trial and conviction have anything to do with CIA leaks

Nope. They have to do with the coverup of CIA leaks. It’s not hard to understand, you just didn’t learn the lesson of watergate.

or in any way represent a victory for your kind

Our KIND? What? Americans? Yes, this is a victory for Americans, for democracy, for the rule of law. It is not a victory, apparently, for YOUR kind.

You all are just precious.

Thanks. You’re a thug…

mikey

 
 

Mmhmm. Kinda hard to coverup something that didn’t happen but … you know, ok then.

I do agree with one thing. I’m so a thug. Thug life baby.

 
 

Who can beat Gary to the punch? I’ll give it a go:

The fact is, this verdict just shows that liberals like Fitzgerald will go to any lenghts to smear President Bush. The American people are sick of this kind of witch hunt. This verdict just cemented the White House for Guiliani in 2008. The Democrat party will soon be in the dustbin of history.

Or something like that.

 
 

It’s so cute how you try to pretend that this trial and conviction have anything to do with CIA leaks

Kind of like how a series of blowjobs had so much to do with a real estate deal. Take the wahhmbulance back to wherever you came from.

 
 

Ah gavin, your adulation humbles me.

Not really, I don’t know the meaning of the word humble. I do know the meaning of phrase “CIA leak case” which is what is plastered over DKos and Americablog. But of course, Sadly No doesn’t take cues from those kinds either. Of course, Google apparently has some splainin to do also. I’ll direct them here so they may feel suitably chastised, or adored depending on their perspective.

Anyway, have a smoke with me? You’re delicious.

 
 

Needed more Pelosi bashing, JK47.

Awww, let borneo have his little hissy fit, guys. I’m sure it’s gunna be a rough few years before any good news comes down neocon way.

 
 

Keep clapping, borneo. You can stamp your little feet and close your eyes and hold your breath and click your heels and say three times “Nothing happened, nothing happened, nothing happend”…

But y’know what? A grand jury still indicted libby, a US Attorney prosecuted libby, a trial was held and a jury convicted libby. All those people are all in it together, right? A big conspiracy to “get” scooter libby to, um, to make borneo sad…

mikey

 
 

Has Bush signed the pardon yet?

Top left hand drawer. Already made out and ready to go.

 
 

Aw darn, I didn’t mean to talk over your head Mikey. Yeah, I was referring to there being some type of leak to actually cover up. Like I began with, you sorts are all fantasizing this in some way validates your little “Cheney and Bush outed a CIA agent” insurgency. I’m just letting you know that it doesn’t. When you are no long “on the smack” you’ll thank me.

You will also thank me for a number of other revelations over the years, but I’m sure they’ll be under some other assumed name. I don’t last long at liberal websites. At first it’s fun and funny, and you get to get your licks in. But eventually, you all get annoyed with being disagreed with and then … BLAMMO.

But until then I will, of course, treasure our time together. Everyone’s names here are so fun and cute and hip. It’s like being a youngster all over again! Only without any pesky learning.

 
 

Sad little loser.

 
 

Ugh, tempter tantrums are so embarrassing. Wait ’til your father gets home!

 
 

You’ve gotta admire the tenacity of a guy who will stick up for a President and Vice-President who both have approval ratings in the 20’s and who thinks that the future will vindicate George W. Bush. That’s a special kind of delusion.

The Titanic is sinking but the band plays on.

 
 

Oh, cool, Gavin! You got a shiny new troll for Fitzmas!

Whoever wrapped him should have punched more holes in the box though. He sounds as though he’s suffering from a lack of oxygen.

 
 

Awwww, Borneo, don’t cry. Maybe your boys will win the next one.

 
 

Aw darn, I didn’t mean to talk over your head Mikey. Yeah, I was referring to there being some type of leak to actually cover up.

Ah, but are we going to go down the ‘Plame wasn’t covert’ route, or the ‘rogue CIA liberal conspiracy’ route?

Suspense, suspense!

 
 

The new Wilco record has leaked on the intertubes. It’s a cross between the rootsy Americana of the “Being There” with some unfortunate “A Ghost Is Born” inscrutability mixed in. Nels Cline is a ridiculously awesome guitar player, though. His playing is absolutely stellar throughout.

 
 

Blammo? Are you frightened, little boremeo? Fear not, little one, we won’t hurt you, even if you do decide not to have any truck with that pesky learning you could do. We won’t even think less of you for it, as that wouldn’t be possible.

 
 

Wild man stands with his clothes all torn-eo
Toot toot toots on his right-wing horn-eo
While the wingnut babies start to cry
Start to cry, start to cry, start to cry

 
 

Hmmph. I smell Cheetos.

I like how our new itinerant ignoramus darkly insinuates that he’s about to be banned/censored (horrors!) on the site that has the absolutely most lenient troll policy I’ve ever seen.

Truly a man in command of his facts! I’m sure he’s just as well aware of right bloggerreich’s commitment to free and open discussion.

The word “tool” comes to mind, for some bizarre reason…

 
 

Gavin, I was thinking of going with the whole “It was some other dude” one, but if that’s to close to the actual events I’ll select your second option. I absolutely LOVE rogue liberal CIA conspiracy theories.

tigrismus, I didn’t intend to stir your maternal instincts. When I’m blammo’d I usually just change my IP and username. But don’t worry, it may be the case that I mysteriously surface when sites like redstate have server trouble and then, just as mysteriously, go absent.

But don’t worry about thinking less of me. I’d think less of YOU if you didn’t think less of me. Let’s keep our respective team identities clear shall we?

Now back to it.

A Spontaneous Ode

Bubba Bubba, toil and … trubba.
Your love makes me oily
So I need a glove .. a.
But ellipses or no,
Together we’ll strugga
For a brighter tomorrow
… hubba hubba.

Please withhold autograph requests until the end of the class.

 
 

Bubba Bubba, toil and … trubba.
Your love makes me oily
So I need a glove .. a.
But ellipses or no,
Together we’ll strugga
For a brighter tomorrow
… hubba hubba.

This is pretty fun. Can you do more verse-trolling please?

 
formerly Pabst Blue Ribbon
 

you guys clearly borneo is only after the truth as he is obviously referring to the fact that the leak originated at the direction of Cheney.
Also he likes pie so he can’t be all bad.

 
 

Bubba, as you know, right wingers have no creativity or appreciation for art and poetry. I have therefore spent my ability to compose spontaneous odes to you. But let it be known that I still FEEL poetically about us. We’ll always, after all, have Brunei.

… and that’s no lie? Bah, see it’s no use!

 
formerly Pabst Blue Ribbon
 

Yeah gavin you forgot about the other dude!
His name is Cheney and he directed/orchestrated the leak, so way to stand up for the truth borneo

 
formerly Pabst Blue Ribbon
 

Sorry about the double post, I thought the server ate my first one

 
 

Borneo: “Gavin, I was thinking of going with the whole “It was some other dudeâ€? one, ”

OK, I get the “everybody just knew about her, she was so not covert,” which actually I guess ties to CIA liebruls cause they had to advance the proposition that she was outed in the first place. But is Boringo advancing the proposition that it wasn’t really Scooter lying to the grand jury???? Wowzer, THEY GOT THE WRONG MAN!!! Is Darth Cheney gonna pull it out and crush the triumph?–and which way did it go–Scooter wasn’t the guy lying to the grand jury, or the guy on trial isn’t Scooter??? Man, this is exciting. Why, I’m reminded of the Days When the Drugs Were Really Good, and Not Scary. Tell me more…

 
 

Oh freddled borneo,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee…

 
 

les, please do try harder. We are referring to who why the case against libby is not a validation of the old “Cheney leaked Plame” assertions. The answer I propose is the simplest “someone else leaked plame”, (although I am also opting for the conspiracy one if freelancing isn’t permitted). Which would mean that my theory, much like reality, is that scooter is being punished for something bad he did, but not for leaking anything, and not for covering up anyone leaking anything.

But, again, I’m willing to take the conspiracy one as my reason if I have to. It’s pretty sweet.

 
 

Oh, borneo, you’re SO meta.

 
 

Paula etc., I can’t figure out if using Vogon poetry is supposed to expose me as a dork, or you. Either way, no doubt, mission accomplished.

Heh. I said mission accomplished. Thaaat’s right.

And jokename #69, I’m SO meta? I’M so meta? You just called someone meta. To paraphrase Michael jackson, look at the mountjoy in the mirror!

 
 

The trolls’ frustration is just soooo much fun. Now, about being a dork; you can’t help that (Although I here there is a creme for that…).

 
 

Heh. I said mission accomplished. Thaaat’s right.

Case solved! Just as I suspected: borneo is in fact Jeff Goldstein.

 
a different brad
 

Ooooooo, a pretentious troll. Best kind. Tho I think Diogenes did the wanking in public thing a bit better. He was the first, after all.
Plus, come on.
You’re educated, borneo. You really think you’re foolin anyone?

 
 

Paula etc., I can’t figure out if using Vogon poetry is supposed to expose me as a dork, or you.

C’mon, we just wanted some more verse out of you.

I’ll give you one we sing down at the union hall all the time:

Gay sex rules and we like Chomsky
We lick the balls of the Democratic domskey
Give us food stamps we’ll trade for abortions
And we stink ‘cuz we ain’t done our Sunday night warshens.

Seriously!

 
 

Yes, my preciouses. This one is a keeper.

 
 

Bubba that is so eerily like what I was going to post that I just don’t know where to go from here. Except for the warshens part, of course. Let’s not start another firestorm about who is and isn’t “clean”.

And a different brad, imagine pointing out my splinter of pretentiousness on THIS blog. This place is an unmatched agglomeration of gadzookery online. (Unless you count retardo’s other blog).

Still though, I’m moved by your attention and notice. I may yet find more odes to share.

 
 

you don’t compose odes “to” people, genius. compose is not a dative verb. sounds like you don’t date much, yourself.

 
 

borneo, you’re about two heh-indeeds short of a perfesser. I’m starting to think Encyclopedia Brown is right, and S,N! is experiencing Godlstein subversion.

 
 

gjdodger, what’s even worse is that it wasn’t even and ODE!!

But hey, nice addition of the date thing. Now I go on about my hot wife, and you go on about how I’m making it up, and I go on about how all the boys at the club diss you, and you go on about what am I doing at a club like that, and I go on about how you just admitted it.

Oh, but I’m not saying you’re boring or fat or anything like that. Just for the record. You can’t do that around here.

 
 

Oh, dick dick dick. Dick! I’ve read the Sadly No profile of Goldstein, Dick. By your records, Dick, if I was Goldstein, I’d be obsessed with Dick, … dick.

I am very amused by the affected aversion to pompous commentary. Why on earth would you be a Sadly, No! reader if you don’t care for such things? I mean, my word! Heh, indeed. Harumph and so on.

That’s all, Dick.

 
 

you would either think Scooter Libby had decided to lie to the FBI and the grand jury, or he did not.

Er no: the jury just didn’t think Cooper’s own recollection, combined with the absence of a verbatim FBI transcript, met reasonable doubt.

But perhaps you can get another op-ed in the WaPo to whine about it, Vickie?

 
 

Oh, truly, this is a cute new troll! Where did you find him?

But eventually, you all get annoyed with being disagreed with and then … BLAMMO.

Oh, honey, we lu-u-u-u-u-u-ve being disagreed with!!! It’s red meat to us. Bring on your sinister “disagreement”, by all means!

And BLAMMO???? How does Blammo work on a comments board?

 
 

Work makes me miss all the fun!!

Why can’t I just suck at the liberal government welfare teat all day like all the other liberals do?

 
 

Oh, but I’m not saying you’re boring or fat or anything like that. Just for the record. You can’t do that around here.

I am very amused by the affected aversion to pompous commentary. Why on earth would you be a Sadly, No! reader if you don’t care for such things?

Oh, I think this is one of those Opposite Trolls that you sometimes hear about. They’re evidently quite rare.

 
 

A nice addition to the collection. Between Gary, annie, shoelimpy, Dr. BLT, and this new fellow, it could be quite a tea-party. Where’s Mario?

 
 

Mario Nitrini
Mario Nitrini
Mario Nitrini

If this summoning method works, I’ll be totally in awe of his powers.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

You forgot Kevin, g. Oops, did I just say that out loud?

Gavin, I think you have to include the “George” if you want it to work.

 
 

You left out the “George”, Gavin.

 
 

Hang on, now. I don’t think it’s fair to call Mario a troll. He’s generally very personable and nice to people here (with the exception of Patterico, but can you blame him for that?), and he doesn’t hang out here just to pick fights and disrupt things.

I grant that he’s a tad on the eccentric side, and I take no issue with inviting him to join the fun, but I don’t think “troll” is the right word for Mario.

 
 

I think borneo’s boss came in and blammo’d him.

 
a different brad
 

Well, AA isn’t in this thread cause how’s she gonna make it about herself?
I know I made the mistake of finding her amusing at first n pissing several off by doing so, but she’s really been phoning it in lately. I think limp’s toadying has made the princess lazy. That christian wife bit was funny, but limp has an uninterrupted record of bland mediocrity.
borneo, on the other hand, just has to watch his tongue with mikey. Otherwise he’s a definite keeper.

 
 

Either that or mom came home and made him get back to work on that book report.

 
a different brad
 

And Marita’s absolutely right. Whatever you think of Mario, he’s simply too nice to be called a troll.

 
 

And BLAMMO???? How does Blammo work on a comments board?

Like this.

 
 

J- can I just tell you how much I admire you?

 
 

Wrong and right gjdodger. I did have to leave for work, but my boss did not blammo me. Here is where I tell you how important I am and therefore not subject to such intrusions.

Gavin I’m surprised you don’t get the fat thing. There was a little Sadly Controversial moment the other day around these parts about calling people fat. It is to that I refer with the fat comments. I understand, though. You’re sensitive about the pompous thing. No doubt you’re beaten over the head with it in real life, or IRL as one may be wont to say online.

Truly, though, I’m am over-honored by all these mash posts. Friends, I am merely a run-of-the-mill troll, not worthy of such affection. For you see, our love can never be. Ere long I must ascend from these depths, to my seat on high. I can’t, in other words, spend my entire work day sitting around soliciting “we love debate” niceties from those who so clearly do not. It would never end.

No, sadly, I must admit this a passing fancy. Soon I’ll disappear into the ether, leaving you feeling empty and a little used. Poor Gavin will have to pick up the broken pieces of his life, muttering bleakly about how he isn’t either so pompous. And bubba will scribble little odes to this or odes to that, but not really having his heart in it. And gjdodger will spend yet another evening wondering why none of the boys are interested, and how that borneo character knew.

So please, don’t let your affections doom you thus. You must ignore my popularity and return to your worlds full of pot and mooninites and self-satisfied grins hunched over keyboards at 2 in the morning. It is the way of such things.

 
 

Well, I guess he put go the better of us.

When’s he leaving, anyway? Can I have his chair?

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, borneo.

 
 

You know, though, I think borneo is basically correct. Here:

Which would mean that my theory, much like reality, is that scooter is being punished for something bad he did, but not for leaking anything, and not for covering up anyone leaking anything.

which is basically right. Scooter is guilty (I do kinda like finally being able to write that) of lying to the Grand Jury, obstruction of justice. He was not accused of disclosing a covert agent, or even covering up the disclosure (although that could have been the underlying reason for the lying)

It’s the lying, basically, that gets Scooter in the big house.

Now those other things, the outing of a covert agent, and the cover up, those might be the crimes of someone else. Maybe someday we will find out, hmmm?

Other than that, it seems borneo is just here to see how many cages he can rattle, until he gets banned.

 
 

It is the way of such things.

No, Encyclopedia Brown is wrong. Borneo must be one of those stale yet overblown characters from a Brian Herbert/Kevin Anderson Dunish potboiler.

 
 

There’s no banning here. The bar is set so low it’s subterranean.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

 
 

And bubba will scribble little odes to this or odes to that, but not really having his heart in it.

Sob.

 
 

I think Boringo is just using us (if I may be so bold as to insinuate myself among the Nosians). Is there a world record category for “most syllables with least content?” Or “longest hover on the verge of coherency?” I assume he’s both above and below the “pointing out the obvious at great length” bar.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Yes, les, and the winner in both categories was the aforementioned Kevin. (I’ll not be tempted into saying his name a third time, however, for fear of being blamed for setting off another 500-comment thread of nothingness).

But hey. It may be the way we were all distracted by the shiny new troll and all, but am I the only one whose day was brightened by the words “Seb adds”? I mean, I’m practically an old-timer here and I must say I’ve not seen much with the grand master’s name attached in the time I’ve been hanging out here . . . Fitzmas is truly a special time of year.

 
 

Oh no, Mr. Borneo, sir! Don’t go!
Save us poor benighted souls from our base impulses. Lift us up from our iniquity to the seat of the Master, that we may dwell in Paradise for all time.

Oh. Wait. I’m one of those unrepentant Liberals. So I’m damned already.
Oh, and Black, so twice damned.
Damn it all, and I’m not Christian, so three strikes and I’m really out, aren’t I?

I’m gonna get Left Behind! *does the happy dance*

 
 

We who get left behind get our pick of the cars belonging to the Raptured!

 
 

Dibs on Paris Hilton’s Bentley!

 
The Great Brain
 

Fuck Encyclopedia Brown.

 
 

Why is it whenever I read someone like Borneo above I get a mental image of this

 
 

You’re too kind, g.

If you already know this, Smiling Mortician, just give me the old digital oops upside the head. The posted authored by “Sadly, No!” are Seb’s.

Hey, Encyclopedia Brown Material Road. Any chance borneo is Kevin working under deep cover?

 
 

The money quote is from tonight’s NPR coverage.

Some reporter was speaking to a juror, and the juror stated that, while they all agreed that Libby was guilty, they eventually began to wonder why it was they were sitting in judgement of Libby and not a bunch of other guys, like Karl Rove.

It’s bad for me to get that excited while driving home in Miami traffic – it’ll get me killed one day. The drivers around here are nuts.

 
 

posts, not posted

 
 

Why is it whenever I read someone like Borneo above I get a mental image of this

Because you are a liberal and therefore you cannot appreciate the finer mental images the world has to offer. Now if you will excuse me, I have to wax my ears to prevent the chafing the Spock attachments will cause.

 
 

Or perhaps this is the image I should get:

“A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head. The green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals indicating two directions at once. Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled with disapproval and potato chip crumbs. In the shadow under the green visor of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly’s supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D.H. Holmes department store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress. Several of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be properly considered offenses against taste and decency. Possession of anything new or expensive only reflected a person’s lack of theology and geometry; it could even cast doubts upon one’s soul.”

– John Kennedy Toole, ‘A Confederacy of Dunces’

 
 

John Kennedy Toole, ‘A Confederacy of Dunces’

Still haven’t read that. Gotta give it a go.

 
 

Borneo, believe it or don’t, is smarter than K*vin. I know, talk about your low hurdles. B. appears to have a rudimentary sense of humor, too: “you’re so cute and precious, and so pompous! Now I must ascend from these depths, to my seat on high! Did I mention you’re pompous?” Kind of a Johnny one-note, but if he can get beyond that he might be fun. No more poems, though, please.

 
Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian
 

Borneo wears out pretty quick, I must say. Sounds like a perky teenager who’s been told he’s clever, but gets beat up at school, so he crawls around the intertubes lording it over people who don’t know what a wanker he is.

But hey, whoah, stick it to Libby, with knobs on! You go, Scooter baby! Take one for the team!Take half a dozen! Learn to enjoy the company of huge bikers called Mabel!

Not that I have anything against huge prison bikers called Mabel. Some of my best friends are huge prison bikers called Mabel. They’re very good at providing fresh meat.

 
 

Ah, if all of our assumptions ever prove to be true how silly everyone out there trying so hard to legitimize blogs will feel. It will have been nothing but solitary white overweight teenaged boys this whole time. Which is to say I, of course, have the same Comic Book Guy image in my head talking to you all. But with weed, man.

Well not all. Gavin of course, calls up images of grunge boy bands and Qetesh, obviously, shaved abyssinians.

Nevertheless, my ulterior motive has always been to become a poet for this blog. I’m devastated by tigrismus’ rejection. Thanks for making it the worst. fitzmas. ever.

… oh also, Bubba: ballet outfit, beard, mouth full of dip, virginia slim behind the ear, emo band posters on the wall and disco music blasting in the background. But mostly comic book guy.

 
 

BLAMMO. Borneo’s back. Sulawesi and Sumatra tremble in fear.

 
 

BLAMMO!!

Homework must be done and Mom and Dad are busy watching TV, so he got back on the ‘puter.

Actually, he’s probably REEALLLY a Reese Witherspoon smarty-pants right wing curling-ironed blondie with a hankering to be the Ann Coulter/Debbie Schlussel of her time, only she has to finish her AP Euro history course first, and then get ready to go to Sylvan Learning Center for her SAT courses.

 
 

Remember Folks, that’s, Guilty, Guilty, Guilty!

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Bless you, Mo, for replacing my mental image of Comic Book Guy with a wild-eyed Mark Slackmeyer at the microphone.

 
 

You must ignore my popularity and return to your worlds full of pot and mooninites and self-satisfied grins hunched over keyboards at 2 in the morning.

Said borneo at 1:35 in the morning.

 
 

GoatBoy,
I understand that your distress over my “Soon I’ll disappear into the ether” prediction has you all twisted. But remember, please, that soon is subjective. I trust you can calm your fears long enough take another look at those times. They are not correct. That conversation was yesterday afternoon. At 1:35 in the morning I was at a Star Trek message board discussing how different the enterprise would be if they ate cheetos and drank red bull. I mean, duh!

There once was a boy, a goat
Who had a watch, tres haute
But alas, it was fast
though surpassed, (by contrast)
By how slow were the goats bon mots

hmm.

 
 

Some are desperate for attention…it’s really the smell that gives it away.

Hi Tacky/Goldcock!

 
 

Let’s see if he mentions me in order to subvert any mocking of his penchant for self-medication…

 
 

There once was a troll named Borneo,
who at Sadly, No! made a brief cameo.
“You libs are all precious.
The trial was senseless.
Or so reads the text of this mimeo.”

 
 

Ms. Toensing is an attorney (I am not) and she is considered a serious intellectual type person on the teevee (I am not). So how come she’s confused and I’m not?

Here’s how it all breaks down. The jury concluded that Libby’s statements to the FBI and to the grand jury were untue, because it just wasn’t credible or reasonable to conclude that he’d forgotten all about Plame until tipped off to her existence by Tim Russert. They also concluded that these lies had a purpose, namely to deflect the investigation and to prevent Libby from landing in hot water due to the ongoing investigation. I mean, the guy had cutouts of newspaper articles where he underlined places where it looked like leaking Plame’s name to the press might have gotten him into some serious legal trouble. Rather than fess up to that, he lied and said he’d found out from the press, which wouldn’t have been a crime.

He was acquitted on one charge: the jury found that the prosecution did not prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Libby made false statements to the FBI regarding his phone calls with Matt Cooper. This was the one charge where the evidence was a bit thin (literally he said, she said on a few particulars, since FBI agent Bond presented Libby’s version “as told to her” by Libby during the investigation, and Cooper presented his own version of events). Defense counsel did manage a few semantic chinks against Bond’s testimony, and Cooper’s notes had the critical typo “even” for “ever” (or vice versa) which could have shaded his note-assisted memory of the events. Counsel also argued that Libby was pressured for time in the FBI interview and had not been given enough time to review his notes, something that didn’t hold water by the time he repeated the same story to the grand jury several months later.

In the end, Fitzgerald just didn’t have a rock-solid case that Libby’s lies concerning the Cooper calls were false, when taken as an isolated charge. However, he was bringing a case that his repetition of those lies to the grand jury constituted perjury–and he did have a solid case for that–so he had to include them as a false statements charge in order to prevent defense from arguing that his statements couldn’t have been true in one case but false in another.

The jury, though, did its dispassionate duty and broke the charges out into individual elements and couldn’t find a solid case against Libby for Count 3. The preponderance of evidence is that he lied, but there is just enough doubt to fall short of conviction. That doubt didn’t exist for the related perjury charge, though, because before the grand jury he elaborated on his lies in great (and false) detail, and he could no longer claim to have been deprived of time to review his notes.

I think it’s pretty remarkable and admirable that the jury was able to separate these two charges and consider them separately…or at least they did by the end of deliberations. I think the jury took on this charge last, after already coming to the four guilty verdicts. A few jurors held out that it was “humanly possible” for Libby to have forgotten some details of the Cooper call and, deprived of notes, simply misspoke before the FBI. (This was not a defense for the related perjury count because Libby had months to review his notes before going before the grand jury; he also told a more elaborate set of lies including details that pointed back to Russert and were therefore lies if the Russert charges had already been decided to be lies.) At this point, we got the “reasonable doubt” note. Before the jury got the response to that note, the deliberation had turned to whether any other evidence existed that might shed light on Count 3. The pro-conviction bloc tried to argue that Libby’s statements in the grand jury were consistent with his FBI testimony, so if he lied in March he had also lied in October. Thus the second set of notes asking for clarification of Count 3 and whether the GJ testimony could be considered. It could, said the judge, if the jury found it helpful…but it looks like after a good night’s rest, they had decided that the false statements should be taken in isolation. If reasonable people couldn’t agree that the burden of proof had been met, then the pro-conviction bloc would concede that reasonable doubt existed. Verdicts at high noon.

I don’t think the jury was ever confused that maybe Libby was being tried for lying to Cooper. I think that was a misreading by those of us outside the courtroom. The jurors knew that Libby’s version of the Cooper call was at variance with Cooper’s version of that call, and they generally believed Cooper’s version. I’m sure Denis-with-one-n would have his two cents to say about what a reporter’s instincts would have been if he’d found out that another reporter already had the scoop on him.

There confusion was over the actual jury instructions, which laid out the alleged false statement concerning the Cooper call. The alleged false statement was based on interview notes and not verbatim transcript, so it was presented in the instructions as an indirect quotation (no quotation marks). It was honestly open to one of these two readings:

Scenario I

Libby to FBI: Matt asked me if I’d heard that Wilson’s wife worked at the CIA. I said, “Yeah, I’ve heard that from reporters. But I don’t know if it’s true.”

Scenario II

Libby to FBI: Matt asked me if I’d heard that Wilson’s wife worked at the CIA. I said, “Yeah, I’ve heard that from reporters.” But I don’t know if it’s true.

In other words, was “but I don’t know if it’s true” part of the alleged false statement, or was it an aside by Libby to the FBI indicating his doubt about Wilson’s wife’s employment even in October 2003 as he was recounting the conversation to the FBI. If Scenario II had reflected the allegation, I think they would have convicted on the basis that there was no reasonable way that Libby could have not known of Plame’s employment at the time of the FBI interview.

But since Scenario I actually reflected the allegation, they concluded that between the potential for Libby’s note-deprived memory lapse, the chinks in Bond’s armor during cross examination, and Matt Cooper’s lamentable typing skills, there was just enough doubt to keep them from coming to a consensus on guilt. However, this did not change the related perjury conviction because Libby had much more time to prepare for his testimony; Bond was not witness for the perjury; and Libby’s story was so much more vivid and thus so much more demonstrably false in front of the grand jury that his story there just couldn’t be justified except as an outright lie.

My, that was long. But I hope things are clearer for you now, Ms. Toensing.

 
 

hi, My pictures of my new emo haircut
in http://xrl.us/ouog2

 
 

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