In Al This World Ne Was Ther Noonan Hym Lik

I opened a can of cat food and the cats all came running. It was a signal that there was something silly going on over at Blogs For Bush.

The Great Global Warming Swindle
By Mark Noonan at 03:38 PM […]

What I’d like, once again, our global warming enthusiasts to answer for me:

1. What makes a person a climate scientist?

2. How many such people are there in the world?

3. How was it determined that 90% of them subscribe to anthropogenic global warming?

If these questions cannot be answer with precision, then the alleged consensus on global warming is bogus – and as this consensus is held up as the supposedly unanswerable argument in favor of global warming…

This is ironic, because we were digging through Mark Noonan’s trash last week, and we found some of his old college math and science tests.

Above: A typical test question

We’ll go with ‘degree in climatology’ for #1, Mark. Here to explain is Melanie Morgan at World Net Daily:

Con job at The Weather Channel
Posted: January 5, 2007
1:00 a.m. Eastern

Far-left political ideologies are being promulgated through ever-increasing mediums, and recently I noticed that a once-vaunted American television network, The Weather Channel, had succumbed to the cancerous spread of liberalism.

This sounds like a job for Brent Bozell’s Mediums Research Center. But here’s the rub:

The chief martyr for the new “emotional” approach to broadcasting at The Weather Channel is Dr. Heidi Cullen, who serves as the network’s cheerleader for global warming hysteria. Cullen’s supposed expertise on climatology includes, among other things, earning a bachelor’s degree in Near Eastern religions and history from Juniata College. One must indeed have to believe in the mystical to accept anything Ms. Cullen has to say about climatology.

So that’s how you become a climatologist.

Oh wait, this just in:

Before joining The Weather Channel, Dr. Cullen was a scientist at the National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR) in Boulder, CO. She received a B.S. in Engineering/Operations Research from Columbia University in NYC and went on to receive a Ph.D. in climatology and ocean-atmosphere dynamics at the Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory of Columbia University. […] As a post-doc, she received a NOAA Climate & Global Change Fellowship and spent two years working at the International Research Institute for Climate Prediction.

Or, as Mark adds:

Ah, rank hypocrisy – when you’re target is awash in it, you never lack for laughs…

Yes, yes, whatever. The answer to #2 is ‘nine squillion and six’ — ask us again and we’ll call Harold Ickes!

While Mark’s puzzling over that, let’s check out the haps over at Renew America.

Anatomy of an impropriety, or Ann Coulter vs. Bill Maher
Warner Todd Huston
March 5, 2007


The double standard of Leftists who are ignoring the outrage of Bill Maher — who alluded to his wish that Vice President Dick Cheney was assassinated — while at the same time are wildly fanning themselves in mock outrage as if they had the vapors over Ann Coulter — for calling Democrat John Edwards a bad name — was on full display in the MSM over the weekend.

That’s the first time I’ve seen a sentence slip, fall, and die of multiple spinal fractures in quite that way. The double standard of Leftists who are ignoring the outrage — while at the same time are wildly fanning — for calling a bad name — was on full display.

Well, that’s nice.

Above: Warner Todd Huston

There, my work here is done.

[Hanx! Clif]


Comments: 60


X = 5. College finally pays off!


In that first picture of Warner Todd Huston, before he grew tusks, what is he sucking on? It looks rather like a tribble.

Never mind. I don’t want to know.


“global warming enthusiasts”

Again I notice the mistake of confusing emotions , ‘Alarm’, ‘Shock’, and ‘Fear’ for Joy.

Global Warming – an analogy for Noonan.

Imagine me taking a shit in your mouth day after day after day, Markie.

Do you think you would stay healthy for long?

…the weight of the Earth’s atmosphere is 441,000 billion x 10 = 4.41 million billion tons.

Now 26.7 billion (the weight in tons of CO2 emitted into the atmosphere each year, see (A) above), divided by 4.41 million billion gives the fraction 6 /one million which means that the CO2 emitted to the atmosphere each year from burning fossil fuels is equal to 6 parts per million (ppm) of the atmosphere by weight. (6 millionths)

It can be seen therefore that burning 7 billion tons of carbon from fossil fuels is now dumping 6 ppm per year of C02 into the atmosphere.

Another Analogy for Noonan.

Imagine me as your neighbor routing my sewer lines to empty into your lawn. Its saving me a great deal of money so why should I stop? Obviously you don’t care about your environment so a little extra won’t hurt you at all.

Herr Doktor Bimler

Can I just say that with a beard like that, Mr Huston should never wear a plaid shirt, or he could be mistaken for a kilt. Not that I’m suggesting any malicious behaviour with Photoshop, no.


The global left conspiracy that has infiltrated every living scientist’s brain has now persuaded the Inuit they need air conditioners.


Ah, right wing honesty: Melanie Morgan did say “Ms.” Cullen’s degree in Near Eastern religion(which includes Christianity and Judaism) was “among other things” … she didn’t say “Ms.” Cullen didn’t have a doctorate in climatology. I bet Morgan doesn’t even have the ability to blush.


Wow — Melanie Morgan really phoned that one in. It’s like she didn’t even try to cherry-pick a reasonable fact. I guess her (Morgan’s) biography could read “Melanie Morgan spent years shitting herself, among other things.”


I don’t think he looks like a walrus at all.

I would’ve said he looks fat, but I think that’s frowned upon lately.


Are we sure we couldn’t convince these guys to get on the ‘B’ Ark?ˇ

Herr Doktor Bimler

…who are ignoring… — who alluded to … — while at the same time are wildly fanning themselves … — for calling … a bad name — was on full display…
What was that line of Gore Vidal’s? Somewhere in Burr, he describes some character’s sentences as being like a battle from the Pelopennesian Wars, except with dashes instead of javelins.


X = 5. College finally pays off!

Only partial credit, I’m afraid, SG. First, you didn’t show your work. Second, you failed to indicate the appropriate units (cm). I’m afraid you’re going to have to stay after class and clean the walrus.

No, that is not a euphemism.

Oh, and a question to Melanie Morgan: When exactly was the Weather Channel ever “vaunted”? More to the point, who the hell watches the Weather Channel to begin with, let alone analyzes it for political bias?


That’s telling them Noonan! Besides the National Center for Atmospheric Research, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, several dozen PhD programs in climatology, meteorology, or atmospheric physics, and all those refereed scientific journals in these fields, how many real climate scientists are there? Huh? Huh?

Probably only several thousand! Goddam right! And most of them are gay! Hah!


Don’t we all get our liberal talking points from TWC? I think they come down a sideband at about 3am.


Don’t we all get our liberal talking points from TWC?

YES! Bitterly cold winds will buffet the Northeast tomorrow, especially eastern New York state and New England!


Sen. James Inhoff (R-OK) claims The Weather Channel is promoting global warning in order to boost their ratings. I’m not kidding you, he said it on the senate floor. Ashamed to say, he is one of my idiot senators. The other is Tom Coburn, who claims that elementary schoolgirls in Idabel OK need an escort when going to the girls’ room, due to the lesbian threat.


Here, let me help, fardels bear:

Probably only several thousand! Goddam right! And most of them are gay faggots! Hah!


*tch* i was GUNNA put “cm” on there! i just forgot! that’s not fair! Can i get extra credit somehow?


aw god damnit, please someone tell me they forgot how to solve for x too.


“Global Warming – an analogy for Noonan.”

Don’t you mean an anogram for “A LAMB GROWLING?”


x = (4²+3²)^(.5)

Hey, at least I got that ² thinghie down cold.


Uhhh, I could tell you I forgot how to work quadratic equations, Mr. Todd. Does that help?

Also, I have absolutely no idea where the Noble Gases are on the periodic table.


Melanie Morgan nails it. That feminazi Mother Nature has a clear liberal bias.


Oops Mark Noonan.


Someone’s been looking at Kaye Grogan’s columns and thinking ‘you know, dashes are so much better than commas. Also, merkins are for mouths.’

aw god damnit, please someone tell me they forgot how to solve for x too.

Well, my significant other forgot the formula for the area of a triangle last week, w/r/t Jeff Foxworthy’s ‘Are You As Dumb As A Wingnut?’


What makes a person a climate scientist?

I bet it has something to do with book larnin’.

Mehitabel the Abyssinian

Did someone mention cat food?


Find X? Ha! How many Geometry Scientists are there? Stupid Math Channel. Pythagoras was a ‘faggot’! etc…



I… I’ll just go somewhere else for a bit.


You know, these dipshits would die in flaming agony before they would
take a liberal’s word that their house was on fire.

Still, its nice to see Chumley getting work.

Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian

Sen. James Inhoff (R-OK)

Shouldn’t that be ‘Sen. James Inhoff (IR-OK, UR-awww, who the fuck cares?)

Also, I have absolutely no idea where the Noble Gases are on the periodic table.

Ans: They’re not on the periodic table. They’re hanging out in the Bijoux Room with the other Nobs.

Also, merkins are for mouths.

Nahhh, I think he ordered a ferkin of gherkins, but got delivered a ferkin of merkins, and didn’t know what to do with ’em all.

Did someone mention cat food?

Hey, Mehitabel! Let’s scarf some squelchy stuff, then get squiffy and talk about boys!

And speaking as an ex-mathematician (in rehab, actually), I must say I rather like Noonan’s answer. Although I think Gavin helped him with the spelling.

Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian

Hey, how come I got told I submitted spam? Nothing but the finest original meat for this kitty, you know. Off the bone, and preferably on the hoof. Well, paw, actually.

Qetesh the Shaved Abyssinian

Sodding buggery: again! Hey, are you guys anti-shaved cats or something?


And let’s not overlook the irony that Dr. Cullen’s expertise in climatology is being dissed by Melanie Morgan whose college education was limited to one year as a theater major at Lindenwood University. Link.

Herr Doktor Bimler

I’d tell the joke about the squaw on the hippopotamus, but these days that’s enough to get you sent to rehab.


What makes a person a climate scientist?

A grant from Exxon Mobil?

The Ghost of Matthew Shephard



Jesus asked me to show him an example of a sock puppet. Where are you guys when He needs you?

Herr Doktor Bimler

Someone’s been looking at Kaye Grogan’s columns and thinking ‘you know, dashes are so much better than commas.
I remember reading this piece of paper you Americans have, called the ‘Constitutional’ or something like that, and it also seemed to be quite keen on the dashes as punctuation. Possibly that was because the British had imposed a high duty on fancy imported punctuation marks like colons and semicolons, so the colonials had started using dashes instead, as a protest (hand-carved by Noah Webster out of lengths of hickory, or something like that). But if I am wrong, I’m sure someone will correct me.


May I suggest a small modification?

What makes a person a climate scientist?

Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn’t that what makes a man?

Sure. That and a a degree in climatology


Hurry up, owlbear1, I gotta take a dump real bad.


So they’ve gone from questioning the science of global warming to questioning the math of how we count the scientists of global warming? Next up — questioning the English language used to describe global warming.

Has Blogs for Bush heard that the Pentagon thinks it’s a major crisis? How can they question global warming and still support the troops?


Mark Noonan, elevating The Argument From Authority fallacy to new, undreamed-of heights. Right-wing science is all about the personalities, not the science.


If you want to read about the global warming debate from Real Climate Scientists, just go visit:

This blog is written by actual, honest and for true climate scientists.

Now, for the stupid, some of them are physicists, and some of them have other specialties, but what makes them “climate” scientists is that the earth’s climate is what they spend their time studying.

It’s sort of like how if a physicist spent all his life studying oceans he would be studying oceanology.


Mark Noonan, elevating The Argument From Authority fallacy to new, undreamed-of heights.

The right wing and the argument from authority are pretty much coterminous. It’s like a total tautology man.


How dare you make fun of teh math illiterate! Do you not realize teh harm that the reality-based community does when we expose the right’s ignorance of math? What if Noonan is stupid because of brain deficiency rather than just a willfully ignorant idiot? Would it make that answer of his any less funny? You fellow liberals make me want to retch! Oh, no, now I’m making fun of bulimics…


That feminazi Mother Nature has a clear liberal bias.

Wasn’t that copyrighted by Stephen Colbert? “Reality has a known liber bias.”


“Liberal”. Rats.


Soros funds The Weather Channel. Look it up.


setting aside the “argument” lil’ noonan attempts for a moment, what’s this “global warming enthusiast” business? willard scott said the same thing a month or so back – “global warming fan”?

global warming isn’t like comic books or vintage transformers: i don’t want global warming. making a stink about global warming means i can worry less about where my food is going to come from and more about comic books and vintage transformers.


I see they’ve secretly replaced the Kool-Aid they’ve been using with direct bolus injections of Novocain to the frontal cortex. Either that or the Wingnut Welfare Diner is a place that means it when they serve “mescaline mix” with soup and a half sandwich.

I mean, sheesh. Noonan’s so dense, he could get a part-time gig at the dentist’s as X-ray shielding. His effect on pediatric cognitive development is well documented.


The Weather Channel is an anagram AN HE THEN CARTWHEEL….getting curiouser and curiouser!


All I can figure is if you watch the weather channel you can’t be a real bright fella. I mean, what do they do after they give you the weather? Give you the weather again?



It’s disturbing, that’s what it is. First they insinuated the liberal ideas of global warming into our vulnerable minds while we were innocently checking the Business Travel Weather Reports. What’s next? the subliminal advocacy of single-payer health care reform while I’m watching tornado documentaries? Subtle, pro-abortion propaganda inserted into the Ski Conditions Report? Multi-culturalism and anti-assimilationist glorification of inferior cultures dispensed during the tourist travel segments?

It’s sinister, that’s what it is.


Soros funds The Weather Channel. Look it up.

I did, and found nothing. Maybe you can prove your own assertions rather than making us do the work for you?

And does Soros fund the Pentagon, too?

Principal Blackman

How can they question global warming and still support the troops?

The finest military God ever created cannot be defeated by fictitious science invented by Jebus-hating liberal anti-Amurrcan types. So you see, questioning global warming is supporting the troops. Or something. It’s hard to approximate Noonan Logic–after all, this is a guy who recently posted that the less-than-stellar sales orders for the Airbus 380 superjumbo jet is proof that Europe needs to get right with God.


you haven’t experienced liberal bias until you’ve spent an hour watching the TV Guide channel. you really haven’t.


“Reality has a known liber bias.�

I’m quite nearly convinced this one is true as well! After all, “liber” is Latin for “book”, or a reasonable similarity. Which would mean that reality has a known book bias. Books are of course the font o’ knowledge, and therefore the tool of the intellectual.

And as we all know, reality has a known intellectual bias.

(Reality is also biast against the Left Behind series of books. It’s a widely-held fact.)


2. How many such people are there in the world?

3. How was it determined that 90% of them subscribe to anthropogenic global warming?

Does this idiot think that the approval ratings polls actually polled EVERY American (don’t answer that, we all know the answer’s yes). I’m going to chalk this up to another conservative phenomina.

1. Conservatives think that ignorance and/or stupidity is a valid counter-arguement.
2. Conservatives will NEVER understand statistics.

(Don’t bother the “ignore reality” stuff, I’m going for the less looked-at stuff)


2. Conservatives will NEVER understand statistics.

Exhibit A: Trying to Grok

(sorry, can’t find the post in question, but longtime S,N readers will remember)


Come on, this whole post was just an excuse for the guy to use the word “Anthropogenic” .


I guess you really do need a Weatherman to tell which way the wind blows.


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