Not Shown: World’s Dopest Slot Car Layout

Crooks & Liars covers the conservative outrage™ over Al Gore’s use of electricity, and brings up a startling question.

Do you suppose that they are equally up in arms by the fact that taxpayers are paying Dick Cheney’s electric bill at the Vice President’s mansion? You know, the one that had an $186,000 electric bill in 2001?

That’s not the startling question. (The correct answer is “Ha ha! Oh man, now you’ve done it: Pass me that forty of Crazy Horse.”)

The question is: A $186,000 electric bill?! What the flaming hell are they doing up there at the Vice President’s mansion!?

Above: Private showing of Laser Floyd


Comments: 50


You can use a lot of megawatt hours in those zombie soldier revivification programs.

Either that or it must be the defibrillators installed on every wall of every room, tested daily.


Dude, do you know how much juice an industrial grade shredder uses?


They’re growing plants, man. The VP gets all the best shit.


After all, there are many, many copies of the Bill of Rights out there.


Yeah, I thought they imported car batteries for the torturin’ and whatnot. So they’re using a regular 2-pronger. Who knew?


Come on. The CheneyBot requires a LOT of recharging.

Especially after he does that Dark-side-of-the-force, long distance choking thing. That’s a huge drain.


Actually, documentary film exists of what they get up to in the Cheney Mansion. The footage goes a long way towards explaining the electric bill.


Well, the refrigeration units for the virgin blood probably draw a fair bit of power as well.


Dammit, Gavin, here I was all wound up to see some bitchin’ slot car layout.

Show me a slot car layout or I’ll post your wedding photos.


All those late-night games of tic-tac-toe with Joshua sure do add up…


Cheney has DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince and Paul Lekakis perform live every damn night.


Mary and Heather must be using the electric turkey baster an awful lot.


Gore’s a hypocrite.

Incontinentia Buttocks

I’m sure I’m going to regret asking this, but….care to elaborate, annieangel?

Despite what Big Time Dick says, conservation is not just a matter of personal choice. Gore is calling for fundamental policy changes, not for everyone to live like a hermit. And he pays more for his power bill in part because he’s signed on to his local utility’s green energy option. So the power he’s using is being generated by renewable sources like solar and wind.


Incontinentia nails it: The conservatives are only interested in accusations of hypocrisy, and since they don’t believe in global warming in any case, Cheney’s off the hook.


They’re enriching uranium in an underground lab at the VP mansion.

You knew the goon squad was going to get all swift boat on Gore after the Oscars.
Like when they said he was a hypocrite for flying to Cannes for his movie opening there.
Nothing short of him riding a bike and living in a tent will make them not call him a hypocrite.

What kinda energy are the president and cheney using at their ranches?


Actually, I remember reading that Bush’s ranch uses a lot of advanced green energy sources. No shit.


“Gore uses electricity! Global warming a hoax!”


Ever mind, gentle viewers, the point is for me to pick up on this, spout a bit of innuendo, rattle my frosted highlights, and turn an arched eyebrow to the camera, at which point I’ll cut to a satellite feed featuring Glenn Reynolds.


His bills are high because he pays more for power? That would make sense if he kilowatt usage was comparable to an average household but it is waaaaaaaay higher. Way higher.

And I mean what is this? No personal responsibility for Gore? Libs are all over the net talking aobut how personal choices to conserve energy really don’t make a difference in the long run and that Gore does so much good that it’s ok that he uses so much power.

So like, if I speak out against gang murder and fund anti-gang programs, is it ok for me to kill my enemies? I mean I’m doing so much good, can’t I be let slide, SHEESH!


Gore’s a hypocrite.

Actually, Annie, Sadly, No!


-The Tennessee Center for Policy Research is NOT independent, but partisan;
-The numbers they used were in error;
-He lives on a working farm, which uses more energy than typical;
-He also purchases Renewable Energy credits to offset his energy usage;
-and finally, his personal energy profile would do absolutely nothing to change worldwide energy use.

But thanks, annie, for admitting that climate change IS a problem that we should be addressing.


Actually, I remember reading that Bush’s ranch uses a lot of advanced green energy sources. No shit.

actually, letting his entire fake-ranch go to brush and natural wild prairie is pretty environmentally sensitive, as well as low impact on energy usage. Much less of an impact than a real, working ranch.


we still haven’t seen the slot-car layout.

I mean business, Gavin. Don’t make me break out the lightsaber photos.

One of those things probly uses a Ton of energy.



Unlike the energy-guzzling Big Fat Tennessee Tuxedo, conservatives aren’t scolding the masses for their profligate energy use. Nor are conservatives using alarmist eco-rhetoric to label “global warming” a “moral crisis.”



see the link above, fer cryin out loud.

It’s all a frickin lie.

Don’t the 10 Commnadments (see the next post) say you shouldn’t lie? sheesh.


I particularly like how nobody tries to defend Cheney’s energy bill. It’s all “But Al Gore uses electricity! And flies on planes!” and “There’s no such thing as global warming!”

Because, you know….anything Cheney does, including shooting an old lawyer in the face, is defensible and in the best interest of america.

I bet he leaves all the refrigerators propped open just so the light keeps burning.


Yeah, annieangel, it’s just like that. Sheesh.


yeah, billy; no way Fat Albert could be a hypocrite. As a kid, when he wasn’t plowing behind a mule in Carthage, the Tennessee Tuxedo was planting trees in the roof garden of the Willard Hotel in DC. Let’s hope he runs.


In fairness, Gore ought to cut back on the electricity. That’s ridiculous.


The DeCider(tm) looks like he hit the blotter pretty hard…

“I just saw JESUS!”


Well, Fidel, I just pointed out that he’s not a hypocrite on this issue, much as you and The American Enterprise Institute would like to make him out to be. Our Bad Girl Amanda has much, much more. And you know it’s OK, cuz she doesn’t swear to hurt your tender ears.

The Willard Hotel thing is just lame, as well as being 6 years old. Can we update our playbook, Cigar-boy? I mean, I know you’ve been iin the hospital and all, but don’t you have people?


conservatives aren’t scolding the masses for their profligate energy use

Because, like, there wouldn’t BE any global warming if you liberals would just stop TALKING about it!


billy: the Tennessee Tuxedo should announce his candidacy when he accepts his Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo, after he climbs out of the “globall warming”-caused snowbank.


LOL, Amanda is just saying it’s ok cuz nothing will make a difference anyway. 😀

This is FUNNY!


There’s an interesting point made by a commenter in billy pilgrim’s Pandagon link: how can Gore be a hypocrite when his message is that government legislation is needed precisely because as a group we have neither the will nor the ability to change enough? Hell, the worst case scenario is that he’s the example that proves his message. “Hypocrisy” would be if he had emphasized that personal lifestyle choices were exactly where change needed to occur.

Regardless, I’d personally love to see him lower his energy usage, recognizing that government action is not bloody likely under this administration and that even relatively small personal improvement is better than no action at all, but not knowing if the numbers are even correct, or what comprises his usage, there is no way to judge if his current usage is actually excessive.


Y’know, Fidel would sound a little less stupid if he just stuck to the imaginary hypocricy thing. Sure, it’s got no point to it, doesn’t even make a lot of sense, but it’s at least a debateble topic. But when these idiots take the position “I know more about climatology than all the worlds leading climatologists” or the better known “I know more about biology than all the worlds leading biologists, even though my degree is in accounting, so therefore evolution is a lie”, they expose themselves as the self-serving assholes they are.

Dood. Listen to me. You are allowed to have any opinion you want, no matter how divorced from empirical reality. What you are NOT allowed to do is confuse that opinion with established scientific data. If, on the other hand, you get the grant, do the research and publish a peer-reviewed paper, you can engage in the scientific dialog. So stick a sock in it…


Smiling Mortician

Is Fidel new? I mean, I know there’s nothing new about his ideas or his style or his level of willful obtuseness, and he’s not all that entertaining, really. But he seems . . . new.

Anyway. Looks like somebody’s blast-fax got a little skittish after seeing all that love Al got at the Oscars.


actually, letting his entire fake-ranch go to brush…

WhoreHey would break out in hives at the thought.


Tha Cigarillo seems more old to me. You know, like last year’s faxes.

That snowbank joke though, Generallisimo? That’s pure gold. I’m betting you just slay the other righties down at the bar with that one. I mean, us Libruls just have no answer to it, yanno?

Because, you know, because it’s cold now it’s just never gonna get warmer, right?

Hey! It’s DARK outside! what are we gonna do tomorrow, when there’s no DAYLIGHT?!?


I wish Al Gore would go jump off a bridge so you all could discuss how awesome jumping off bridges is and go and do it too, all at once.

LOL. You can’t be good on your own. 🙂 Hehehe, you DEMAND the government FORCE you to be. XD



Oh look, George is counting.


Dick Cheney’s house:

Qetesh the Abyssinian

You’re all wrong, you hating haters, you. Dick spends every evening secretly watching Hair! in a 3D, surround sound, multi-screen megaplex in the basement. He knows all the songs and does all the dances, and talks along with the dialogue. Knows every word, including emphasis and timing.

It’s the electric pants he wears while watching that chew up the juice, though.


What they did with $186,000 worth of electricity in 2001

The truth can now be told. Cheney died in 2001. They needed one shitload of electricity to revivify him, and they couldn’t afford to wait for an electric storm of sufficient magnitude to supply the need. People were starting to have doubts about the “undisclosed location” cover story.


A Radio Picture, obviously.

With Dan Quayle as ‘Rocky.’

Every night for the last six years.a


[…] Not Shown: World’s Dopest Slot Car Layout Do you suppose that they are equally up in arms by the fact that taxpayers are paying Dick Cheney’s electric bill at the Vice President’s mansion? You know, the one that had an $186,000 electric bill in 2001? […]


LOL. You can’t be good on your own. Hehehe, you DEMAND the government FORCE you to be. XD

As a society we do have to be “forced” to protect the commons, as long history has proven. Especially considering that those impacting the climate are corporate entities, as individuals have comparatively no impact: if you think a significant number of corporations will voluntarily lower profits to make even the smallest positive change, you are smoking crack.

It’s also pretty funny to see an ostensible righty decry government-imposed or sponsored moral action.

Herr Doktor Tom Waits

He has no children of his
Own you see… he has no dog
And he has no friends and
His lawn is dying… and
What about all those packages
He sends. what’s he building in there?
With that hook light
On the stairs. what’s he building
In there… I’ll tell you one thing
He’s not building a playhouse for
The children what’s he building
In there?


[…] by the Tennessee Center for Policy Research, the folks who brought us last year’s thoroughly hinky Al-Gore-uses-electricity […]


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