What I Learned From the Oscars

The Pogues sold out.


This is a watershed moment in my life.

Also, I’m just drunk enough to lie to myself about quitting smoking tomorrow. Josh Treviño. Josh Trrrrrrrrreviño. Josh Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrayvinyo.

Really trill the ‘r’ when you say it. And unglottalize the ‘v’. It’s fun.

Cheers to Shane, who probably made more money with that one fucking Escalade commercial than he did his whole career.


Comments: 53


That’s what you get for watching tv. Especially an awards show! Are you nuts? I suppose the alcohol helped.


Steve_e – a big disappointment was no James Brown in the death roll segment. Though I suppose he got his at the Grammys and they didn’t want to overshadow Altman.


Also … The Departed? Liked it, but an Oscar? Feh. It did lead to my favorite bit of the night, though, when we learned that the producer of the Best Picture of the Year is in fact a random wide-o out of Chelsea FC’s unofficial supporters club.


I quit smoking 2 and half weeks ago.
I really miss my dunhills.
And the girl i’m seeing smokes, of course.

it was making me choke on my bonghits too much.
Gotta have priorities.


Marty got the unofficial Lifetime Achievement Sympathy Oscar.

And fair play to Shane: at least he’s alive to spend the money.


Just my preference, but I like to say Trevino with a comic Italian accent, stressing and elongating the second syllable: Tra – VEEEEN -yo …

And then I spit.


Wait a minute: the Pogues? Sell out? Shane McGowan pimping the Escalade?

I didn’t watch the Oscars. Tell me about this commercial. Was it really the Pogues, or just Shane? Did he get behind the wheel of an Escalade with a bottle of whiskey in one hand, and survive the ensuing crash?

’cause that’s the only commercial I can see making sense.


I’m thinking the last thing Shane McGowan drove was the porcelain bus.


Damn, what’s with all the Departed-hating? Of the nominees, it actually *was* the best, and it’s huge for a genre film to win–before The Return of the King, I think the last straight-up genre flick to win Best Pic was silence of the Lambs, in 1991, 16 years ago.
Would I have rather seen Children of Men, Pan’s Labyrinth, or Good Shepherd win Best Picture? Yes, but none of those were nominated in that category. The Departed was both suspenseful and genuinely surprising. Go Marty.


Saw the Pogues, sans Shane, in New York @ 15 years ago. Awesome of course.

Maybe they sold out.
Dental bills can get expensive.


If you want to quit smoking, check into those Commit nicotine lozenges. The patches and gum never worked for me, but sucking on those babies worked. I stopped smoking on January 1 and haven’t really suffered at all. You just pop one in and the cravings go away, and you can get all self righteous about the stink and ashes of filthy smokers when you are using one because you really don’t need to smoke.

However, I am now addicted to sucking those lozenges. I’m at the point in the program where you are supposed to climb down on the dosage but it isn’t happening. I guess the lesson is, quitting smoking isn’t that hard but quitting nicotine addiction is quite hard.


Trevino reminds me of the kids in school who would inform the teacher who misbehaved while she was out of the room, you know the type who need a good groin punch.


It’s not so much “selling out” as “finally earning something from years of largely unpaid labor”.

For instance.

Unless you’re in the top 5% of bands (maybe top 1%), you’ve got, at best, a middle class salary.


I’m at the point in the program where you are supposed to climb down on the dosage but it isn’t happening. I guess the lesson is, quitting smoking isn’t that hard but quitting nicotine addiction is quite hard.

It’s been five weeks for me, and I have done it my own way. The first week was w/ the max, 21 mg. patch, and chewing the shit out of plastic straws, hundreds of them. The second week was a 14 mg. patch, and more straws. Then I switched to the 2 mg. lozenges, taking about 7-10 a day.

I’m now down to 4, but find mild anxiety attacks starting, presumably from nicotine withdrawal if I attempt to pare back any more quickly on the lozenges, and would probably do well to go back up to 5, but am not going to. (I have to be on Xanax anyway to treat side effects of another med, and will be on it for at least another month, so I’ll just pop half of one if a real nicotine-absence panic attack ensues.)

I hate to sound like an effing preacher, but it can be done — you can quit smoking. Pretty much I’m over the oral fixation part where the damn things were embedded in so many aspects of my life, but I’m still climbing down from the physical addiction. I’ll get that beast, too.


The ad in question features ‘Sunny Side of the Street’ off of, I believe, the Hell’s Ditch album (Shane’s last with the band … though now he’s back touring with them, so maybe not last).

Shane himself does not appear in the ad.


Re: quitting smoking, I quit cold turkey and it only took about three years. But I did help my girlfriend quit a year ago and so far so good. For the oral fixation part sugarless lollipops are good, but in moderation. Almost all the artificial sweeteners in candy have a laxative effect and can cause flatulence, which isn’t regulated in bars but is still somewhat frowned upon among certain liberal elites.

Another plus is to to reinforce not smoking with rewards—at this behavioral level you’re just another chimp with an addiction, so be generous with the treats. (Appeals to vanity work, too—your skin will look better and healthier, and you won’t smell like a pool hall.) The problem is so many pleasures go hand-in-hand with cigarettes: sex, alcohol, food, etc., so you may have to be creative in the rewards dept. For ex: If you smoked 2 packs a day in NYC, that cost you about $460 a month. Take that cash and buy something cool and think how you would have literally burnt that money otherwise. It worked for my girlfriend and now my reward is that her hair smells really, really nice.

Forgive the length but this is an “issue” with me. I pestered my best friend for years to quit but was unsuccessful, and now he has lung cancer.


I had no idea that Cadillac was using a Pogues song. I guess they need dough like anyone. I saw them in the mid 80s in Dublin before I had even heard their music and as smashed as Shane was they were tight.

As for Trevino, in order to get the full effect of his pompous scribblings you need to recite them aloud in the voice of the comic book guy from the Simpsons. Because I imagine he talks just like that. Here, try it on this brief passage:

I have stated previously that I endorse cruel things in war — to eschew them is folly.


I’m a little late to the conversation. My intertubes were funky all day yesterday. I didn’t see the commercial, and I’m not familiar with the Pogues (sue me – I’m old). I have nothing to add about quitting smoking. My husband is so unpleasant on a regular basis that the thought of him quitting . . . {shivers}


I’m pretty sure I saw James Brown as the last face on screen in the in memoriam segment. And a sweet moment it was. The crowd didn’t go wild, but they were definitely appreciative.


The Buzzcocks do an AARP commercial. Jonathan Richman did, I think, Kohl’s. I’m happy they could cash in a bit.


When a Replacements song shows up in a commercial then I’ll be depressed.


Maybe Cadillac will stop using Led Zeppelin’s “Rock and Roll” in their commercials. Now they want to hurt the feelings of Pogues fans.

Incontinentia Buttocks

The Pogues commercial is for the Crossover, not the Escalade. You can find it on the Cadillac website (I can’t figure out a way to link directly to it). The ad in question is called “Morning Ritual.” It’s not a bad spot. But there’s something inherently evil about Caddy SUVs: big, ugly, lousy-but-tricked-out vehicles. I have a family member with one and it pretty much summarizes everything that’s most shallow about the guy.

As for how to read Treviño outloud….try it in the voice of Michael Palin as Pontius Pilate:

I have stated pweviouswy that I endorse cwuel things in wah — to eschew them is fowy.


It wasn’t just the Pogues in a Cadillac ad… it was The The in an M&Ms ad and if I’m not mistaken, Magnetic Fields in a dog food (!) ad – if that wasn’t I Think I Need a New Heart then it’s a damn close copy.


The “London Calling” Jaguar commercial made me wish I had no ears.


Sunny Side of the Street… The Pogues were already as commercial as they were going to ever get by the time they put that one out.

Still, they deserve to make a living.


The “London Calling� Jaguar commercial

….curls up into a fetal position with hands over ears, weeping….


“Blister In The Sun” for a Wendy’s ad.



Quick poll — which is the most unintentionally laughable:
1. “Blister in the Sun” selling burgers
2. The anti-cheer of “Everybody’s Happy Nowadays” selling the joy of being in AARP
3. The heroin-addiction anthem “Lust for Life” selling cruise vacations



“Such Great Heights” for M&Ms.


Hey, replacement livers can’t be cheap. As for quitting smoking, good luck. It’s been 4 and a half years for me. Cold turkey, the only way to go. The first 6 months is brutal, but it does get easier.


It’s the Buzzcocks for AARP that will leave me eternally boggled.

Since nobody asked, I had a few run-ins with Bill Monahan, screenplay winner for The Departed, and at the time at least (mid-late 90s) he was a drunken reactionary fucktard. Not exactly a wingnut, kinda more a South Park contrarian–claimed to hate conservatives, but REALLY FUCKIN HATED liberals. Wrote several pieces of ain’t-I-cute race-baiting and a stirring paean to Steve Forbes on libertarian grounds in a local pennysaver called New York Press


A couple of years ago, I got a call from a musician friend of mine. He said he was doing a session for a commercial, and wanted me to come play some guitar. I forget what product was being advertised, but the producers wanted a “sound-a-like” of the Clash’s “Know Your Rights.” In a sound-a-like, you’re trying to create something that sounds as much like the original as possible without violating the copyright. It was the most un-punk rock thing ever.

I remember sitting there, thinking, “There are probably 20 to 30 other teams of douchebags around L.A. right now trying to record this same stupid sound-a-like track.” Ours didn’t get picked, of course.


I quit cold turkey. the first two days after were rough, in terms of anxiety attacks and convincing myself to mean it. Since then, I’ve just felt better and better and better. Today my lungs finished cleaning themselves out.
I’ve also been chain smoking joints.
Thank goodness pot smoke isn’t carcinogenic.


Perhaps the Pogues got the last laugh, because the commercial used the original lyrics (instead of splicing them out):

And I got on it
With a heartful of hate
And a lust for vomit
Now I’m walking on the sunnyside of the street

“A lust for vomit” selling cars. Fantastic!


Caddy picked up two other Iggy songs (his dad worked for Cadillac for most of his life, I think), in addition to the Pogues.

At this point, after all this (the Smiths had a Mishubishi commercial in the 90’s, among other things), who gives a shit anyway? Fuck, it was over before Lou Reed sold the shitty Honda scooters. And that was what, 20 years ago?

These are bands (the AARP/Buzzcocks thing was a riot, not because they don’t deserve to get paid but who on the AARP account thought this was a smart pairing? It’s more surreal than anything.) who’ve humped it their whole lives only NOW to finally make easy money (note: I work in advertising, so yes, it’s a justification too).

It’s easy to get sanctimonious, but all of these guys are old and I’m guessing the musicians union has a solid pension plan, you know? They’re cashing in while the agencies are staffed and run by people who remember them as being important.

What bugs me more is having the Stones sell “I’m Free” to Chase or whoever controls the Beatles catalog raking in Target money.


I learned that an amazing movie like Pan’s Labyrinth will be dissed in the original screenplay competition for an overrated hypetrap like Little Miss Sunshine.

Incontinentia Buttocks

The #1 misappropriated ad song must still be “Fortunate Son” for a patriotic, flag-waving jeans commercial.

Which got me thinking that Chevy could use the Pogues’ “Body of an American” for a truck commercial. Just picture crowds of cowboys and hardhat workers chanting “I’m a free-born man of the U.S.A!”


The #1 misappropriated ad song must still be “Fortunate Son� for a patriotic, flag-waving jeans commercial.

I’d call that a close second to the minivan commercial that uses “Magic Bus” as its theme.


I didn’t watch the Oscars. I never do. Too tedious, and I never care who wins.

I watch teevee when I can’t sleep, which is most nights, but I am not usually too conscious of what I’m watching (usually some Law and Orderish sort of thing, since unless it’s Vincent D’Onofrio it’s usually boring enough to put me to sleep).

Anyway, I think I heard The New Pornographers’ Bleeding Heart Show in an ad the other night.

I can’t be sure, because the sleep meds were kicking in, and that’s why I can’t tell you what the ad was for (something stupid and useless, no doubt), but it sure sounded like that song (which is one of my fave New Pornographers songs) in there.

Please help convince me that it was a drug-induced hallucination. Thank you.


Thanks to Taylor for pointing out the “lust for vomit” lyrics. Could it be that Shane’s indecipherable utterances are actually as subversive as I thought they were way back in high school? For those who didn’t see it, watch the commercial with the lyrics in mind… it makes the smiling family much more sinister.


The #1 misappropriated ad song must still be “Fortunate Son� for a patriotic, flag-waving jeans commercial.

I’d call that a close second to the minivan commercial that uses “Magic Bus� as its theme.

Let’s not forget Ronnie Rayguns’ classic misuse of Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”…


Yeah, thanks Taylor. Went over to the Cadillac site, I think they ran the 30 second version on the Oscars, not the 60 second version, but the shorter version still has the ‘heart full of hate and a lust for vomit’ line in it.

That’s fucking hilarious and totally makes my day.

BTW, for anyone who cares – patch is in place, haven’t had a smoke all day.


Let’s not forget Ronnie Rayguns’ classic misuse of Springsteen’s “Born in the USA�…

Ohhhhh, there are some things the brain refuses to retain…..

Klein's Tiny Left Nut

Dan Somebody,

Maybe it’s because I’ve heard it so many times, but Iggy selling cruises is defintiely the wierdest for me. Jesus, it’s a song about craving heroin from a guy who looks like he never spent a minute in the sun.

Blister in the Sun is just bizarro — what it God’s name would have possessed them. As someone else noted, London Calling for Jag-you-ar was also pretty astonishing.

Now if someone could only do something with The Old Main Drag. Or maybe a OTC cold remedy with The Sick Bed of Cuchulainn (“And spewed up in the church” ah, yes, lovely). Oh, Christ, I forgot about Fairy Tale of New York — someone could be duped into that.


I nominate Randy Newman doing “Political Science” as the Republican Party theme.


OK, how about proposing some out-there pairings that are beyond these?

How bout the Buzzcocks (already mentioned) doing “Orgasm Addict” for Viagra?

The Ramones: “I Wanna Be Sedated” for Halcion, or one of those sleep drugs, or hell, just about any of the new crop of meds.

Dead Kennedys – “winnebago Warrior” for -what else?- Winnebagos.

ZZTop: “Pearl Necklace” for a jewelry chain. Ha.

XTC: “Dear God” for a church.

Cheap Trick: “Auf Wiedersehn” for VW.

Velvet Underground: :White Light/ White Heat” for …. anything white.
VU: “I’m Waiting For The Man” for men’s cologne. Or maybe underwear.


Iggy’s dad was, unless an old friend is lying to me, a teacher. Said friend claims he had Mr. Osterberg as a teacher in the 60s at Hamtramck High School, and the kids used to rag on him about Iggy.

I saw the Pogues in ’87 in London, at one of those all day shows (in a tent) with lots of bands. It had rained the day before, and soon much of the park was churned up mud. There were scores of drunken Irishmen wading through it to get to the beer (one was kind enough to get us a few), and a good number of them who’d slipped and/or rolled in the mud and were covered head to foot.

Oh, and this new young band called the Proclaimers played, too.

Ah, memories……


How about the use of Teh Mamas and Teh Papa’s song “Go Where You Wanna Go” for the Depends commerical?


Cheap Trick: “Auf Wiedersehn� for VW.

This should be Auf Wiedersehen by Vera Lynn.


i nominate Randy Newman doing “Political Science� as the Republican Party theme.

True story — my friend grew up next door to Randy Newman. My friend married quite late in life. Randy played at his wedding. He played “You Can Keep Your Hat On.”

totally cool.


Damn. Did I fix it?


The Pogues may have sold out but Shane still has the worst teeth in music. Ever!


Once saw Mojo Nixon (wrote the song Shane’s Dentist) who said Shane could floss with a two by four!


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