Can’t believe I read what I just read. (the link)

Holy moley! Townhall has lost it all.

First time poster but somewhat longtime time fan of your site.

Why is it only certain folk on the right continue to feel that recognizing someone of your desired gender is attractive means all you can think about while they’re around is fucking them?
Ok, let me amend that, certain people on the right, half Mrs. Thompson’s sixth grade class this year, and most fratboys.
You know what I do on those rare occasions a homosexual flirts with me? Take it as a compliment and move on.
Also, does this mean Michael Medved endorses a “no fatties” ban on marriage being added to the anti gay “protections”?

If you put Medved’s column next to Jon Swift’s post on the same subject and took away the names, could anyone tell which one was the satirical piece? I probably couldn’t.

I love how he ties in the “Astronaut Love Triangle,� which had nothing to do with homosexuals. Ugh! Medved is so fucking stupid that I refuse to spend anymore time thinking about him.

Medved is the most underrated asshole in all of Wignuttery. Sadly, No! should do a special feature on his festering bigotry.

In response to the Hardaway controversy, several sports columnists compared his resistance to the idea of playing alongside gay teammates to the racism of previous years when white players tried to avoid competing with (or against) blacks.

The analogy is ridiculous, of course. There is no rational basis for discomfort at playing with athletes of another race since science and experience show that human racial differences remain insignificant.

Wow, how incredibly rational and tolerant. Pity he blows it in the following paragraph.

The ill-favored, grossly overweight female is the right counterpart to a gay male because, like the homosexual, she causes discomfort due to the fact that attraction can only operate in one direction. She might well feel drawn to the straight guys with whom she’s grouped, while they feel downright repulsed at the very idea of sex with her.

Because of course a grossly overweight female is a shoe-in to become a member of an NBA team. To say nothing of the fact that she might well like her men intelligent and thoughtful and under 12 feet tall.

I also notice that he didn’t address the fact that nakedness and showers connoting sex is purely a cultural phenom. Unless he’s suggesting that, for the sake of the players’ concentration, all women be banned from the stadium audience, in case their pesky pheromones make the men trip over their dicks.

As evidence of the cultural phenomenon thing: a friend of mine recently visited her mother, who’s living and working in the New Guinea Highlands. Because of the climate, the locals there don’t wear clothes, although the men do wear a gourd for special occasions (at which I imagine there’s much comparing of penis gourds). And when they greet one another, they don’t shake hands. Nonono: greeters (of either sex) will greet a woman by giving her breast a squeeze, and will greet a man by jiggling his testicles. They don’t perceive anything overtly sexual in that, it’s just habit.

Or maybe that’s what Medved is scared of: those fat chicks who invade the NBA showers might discover that MM has weeny bollocks…?

He’s just not attractive enough for a George Takei-down.

Doesn’t Medved know that many of the NBA love machines are well known chubby chasers?

methinks MM was rejected by a few too many ugly, fat chicks.

The analogy is ridiculous, of course. There is no rational basis for discomfort at playing with athletes of another race since science and experience show that human racial differences remain insignificant.

it’s a good thing Medved is so educated and knows that absolutely no “scientific” reasons for white/black separation were ever put forward.

argh

I’m Ok with black athletes and showering with queers, but I really resent having to be on the same planet with right-wing jewish moralizers. Not that I have anything against jews, since my Dad was one. Some of them are OK. But is it realistic that I should have to share a country with whining know-it-alls who hate Jesus?

I think, indeed, I know, that a good percentage of Americans feel the way I do, and I really think it would be healthy to have a good discussion about the resentment most Americans feel about the undue influence of Christ killers in business, the professions, politics, and the entertainment industry.

On the other hand, one good thing about the Jewa is they can’t hide their identity in the shower. And in fact, since so many Jews are homosexual, we’d be going a long way to solving the homos in the locker room by simply keeping the Jews out.

Not a final solution, I know, but a good first step.

Shorter Shecky to Michael Medved: Blow me.

Most female athletes would prefer not to shower together with men not because they hate males (though some of them no doubt do) …

… and to “cureâ€? men of their visceral disgust at the very thought of what two (or more) male homosexuals do with one another.

The parenthethical, under-the-breath, bitchy aside — one of Medved’s favorite rhetorical ploys — always makes him sound like a pre-pubescent girl … or … never mind

All this blather is nothing more than projection on the part of the assholes who say it.

Because they fear that they cannot be trusted in the company of people they find attractive (or, possibly, even delight in the knowledge that, if the cirucmstances were right, they would grab any woman they wanted to and give it to her like a real man, and damn the consequences!), they do not believe it is possible that anyone could ever be trusted in the company of someone they find attractive.

I totally see where he’s coming from. I mean would you want to shower naked next to Michael Medved? A supermodel in high heels and a mini-skirt looks more butch than he does. I’m afraid to even make eye contact with his jpeg. Is he coming on to me???

If he’s worried about one athlete finding another one attractive in the shower, then turn off the fecking lights. No problem!

I think Jillian has it mostly nailed. Also, I think Medved feels that anyone who was attracted to men would automatically try to jump him, which I rather suspect flies in the face of any experiences he’s had with straight women. Michael. Relax. Nobody–and I mean nobody–is interested in touching you anywhere. Your virtue, such as it is, is safe from the queers.

Townhall didn’t need to hire a Stalinist to bash gays. They could have farmed out that assignment to an intern.

Anyone know the rightwing protocol for showering with an athiest? It sounds more dangerous than a high school gym teacher to me.

I’d just like to say: Overweight women need loving, too. And the whole standard of women’s weight in this country is skewed. It seems like, if they aren’t as thin as Kate Moss, they’re “fat.”

This just burns me in so very many ways.

She might well feel drawn to the straight guys with whom she’s grouped, while they feel downright repulsed at the very idea of sex with her.

Wow, being approached by a person who’s attracted to you who you’re not attracted to? Well, I don’t know about straight men, but if you’re a straight woman, it can mean just one thing. Must be Friday. Oh, wait, being approached by said person at work? Must be Thursday. You know, I have little patience for some application of the sexual harassment laws for the same reason.* If you can deal with it like a grown-up, do. Repeat after me, “Hey, not interested, sorry.”

*I do think it’s necessary for the trading sex for continued employment or advancement situation or a truly extreme hostile work environment (consistent harrassment, not just rough language and salty jokes).

Dudley Dooright speaks out about teh gay! Har. Seriously, put Medved in a mountie costume and he’d be the spitting image of dudley.

Wow, he may have set a land speed record for packing multiple prejudices into one column:

–Homos
–Fat women
–Man-hating lesbians (implied in his ‘although some of them do’ comment)
–And of course, horny black NBA players

That’s a special kind of nuttery.

Most female athletes would prefer not to shower together with men not because they hate males (though some of them no doubt do) …

Yes….those female athletes are more likely to be heterosexual female athletes who’ve had a lasting encounter with men like Michael Medved.

Doesn’t the NBA have, you know, seperate shower stalls or something? I don’t think they have group showers. Even my crappy dorm has seperate shower stalls. Nobody in the NBA needs to have a gay man in their “intimate quarters” unless they invite them in.

I’m betting Steyn is the only person in the US that proudly shows off his collection of “Girls Gone Wild” videos in his living room, but has an entire collection of “Where the Boys Are” videos in his “secret” room.

Clearly I meant Medved.. Damn that Mark Steyn!

What about once-svelte but then-chubby sperm dispensaries like Shawn Kemp showering with two out of the three Fat Boys? Is that OK, Medved?

I always assumed Michael Medved was gay.

Just sayin’

I still have a hard time believing that statement originated with an adult, let alone one whose commentary is respected in some quarters. I mean gaywad? Fat chick?

I’d love to know if Medved celebrated that column by going out with some buddies and spitting off a nearby overpass.

Dear users of SadlyNo:

It has come to my attention that Michael Medved did not, in fact, use the terms gaywad and fat chick in his original article. He merely implied them. I am deeply sorry for any confusion my comment may have caused.

But I still want to know if Michael spits off overpasses.

Sincerely,

DA

Michael Medved is gayer than Christmas.

Just sayin’.

I have nothing to add except:

Why is there still no mash-up of Tim Hardaway’s comments and Haddaway’s “What is Love?” video?

Hey Medved!

If you’re reading this, you might be interested to learn that your name translates (from Russian) into English as “Bear.”

In the manly, hetero sense, of course.

I’d love to know if Medved celebrated that column by going out with some buddies and spitting off a nearby overpass.

No, but he fantasized about having buddies.

Memo for Ganesh Bengal Cat — it’s not normal for cats to shower with their house-apes. I’m waiting for my own separate locker-room facilities.

Hey Medved! Should W be allowed into NBA locker rooms?

http://www.digg.com/world_news/Bush_on_Osama_I_will_screw_him_in_the_ass

What a putz.

I’ve always found his machine-like smile disturbing, and I think I could make 2 more soulful-looking eyes with a holepunch and some cardstock. Jesus. Look at him. See anything human?

Memo for Ganesh Bengal Cat — it’s not normal for cats to shower with their house-apes.

IT IS SO!!1!!eleventy-one!!

I still love you, btw. But that Qetesh babe is totally hot. Do you do threesomes?

Am I allowed to say that Michael Medved smells very nasty? And that he should take a shower?

Because he does. And he should.

I, personally, would not shower with him on a bet, because I think he might be a perv.

Why is it only certain folk on the right continue to feel that recognizing someone of your desired gender is attractive means all you can think about while they’re around is fucking them?

Because that’s all they can think about when women are around, so they naturally think everyone else is the same way.

Look, all we’ve learned from this is that Tim Hardaway experiences more rapid and intense orgasms when he visualizes performing oral sex on another man. What else could possibly explain his outburst?

Sorry, poor choice of words.
.

Ganesh Bengal Cat-

One of our cats used to do the shower thing too. She’d sit between the outer curtain and the inner liner and bat at the falling water.

So it’s not wrong for you to shower with your people. Just very unusual.

Mr. billy pilgrim:

I have my own towels.

It’s not ‘showering’ unless you actually get under the shower spray.

Otherwise, what Michael Medved apparently does (hang around NBA shower rooms asking the players what they think about gays and stuff), would count as ‘showering.’

What Medved also assumes is that only “out of the closet” homosexuals would be a problem. Apparently he is ok with covert peeking; or what you don’t know won’t hurt you

But that Qetesh babe is totally hot. Do you do threesomes?

I do not share foodbowls, if that’s what you mean. If two other cats try to eat at my bowl, there will be violence.

hey, there’s always the chance that neither the gay guy showering with you or the hypothetical fat chick is the least bit interested in you.

as aqua girl pointed out, getting hit on by somebody you’re not interested is pretty much the daily life of every woman on the face of the earth, and, messrs. steyn and medved, i hate to tell you, but even fat chicks!!!!

skippy has personally had to turn down advances by homosexual men at various times in his life…and fat chicks, too. also pretty skinny chicks, bisexual men, all various kind of people.

the answer is two words: “in” “oh.”

I’m afraid to even make eye contact with his jpeg. Is he coming on to me???

why I love comments.

He seems kind of harsh on poor K-Lo. On the other hand, she’s hot for Mitt Romney so I don’t think Medved needs to worry — she’s not interested in his sorry ass.

[…] point of the article, but it’s probably tough to have sex while playing basketball. (hat tip S,N! and […]

Personally, I just think he’s cranky because its been two weeks since his favorite male prostitute gave him a nice massage and sold him some crank.

Men have their needs, you know.

Hardaway and Medved are both afraid that the homos (and fat chix) would greet them in the shower with the infamous phrase:

“Gee, that looks like a penis — only smaller.”

Hey Medved!
If you’re reading this, you might be interested to learn that your name translates (from Russian) into English as “Bear.�

Literally it translates as Honey-Eater (also in Czech, Serbian, etc.)
You can eat my honey any time, Mr. Medved

The cat commenting conceit is starting to skeeve me out.

The cat commenting conceit is starting to skeeve me out.

I happily submit to the higher wisdom of my feline overlords!

(This announcement sponsored by The Demon Kishkan, Maine Coon)

Medved has such a man-crush on Hardaway. And NBA players in general. Sooner or later some militant queer group is going to start tracking his movements and catch him out on Fire Island smoking some poles.

Medved is indeed quite gay. Was the picture chosen for that revealing smile? Michael might need some spiritual counseling from Pastor Ted.

Why is it that the most gross, fugly trolls are the only ones who worry about gay guys checking them out?
My brother’s a good-looking guy, and he takes it as a compliment when a gay guy wants him to switch teams. (I find it depressing-I’m ON the team and don’t the same attention.)

Holy shit.

Does this mean I have to change my “No Fat Chicks” t-shirt to a “No Fruits or Fat Chicks” t-shirt?

Earth to Medved — that mustache is a dead giveaway of how gay you really are. Come out already.

Did anyone else notice that Medved’s article employed a favorite tactic of the Right? Namely, ignore what was ACTUALLY said. Instead, paraphrase it to your liking, then criticize and/or defend the paraphrase.

Tim Hardaway said “I hate gays”, and “they shouldn’t be allowed in my country”. Yet Michael Medved defends him. How does he do this and keep a straight face? By interpreting what Hardway’s words “suggested”, which was a discomfort with showering next to a gay man.

In short, Medved doesn’t defend what Hardaway actually said. He defends what Medved ASSUMED Hardaway MEANT. Isn’t that a valuable service to our culture.

Anyone know if Medved defended what John Kerry MEANT when he botched his little joke last fall? I haven’t had a chance to research it yet.