Lincoln Logs

Rep. Don Young (R AK) quotes Abraham Lincoln: “Congressmen who
willfully take action during wartime that damage morale and undermine
the military are saboteurs, and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.”

Why, that’s not even a good Lincoln quote.

As Abraham Lincoln, our 16th President, was often known to remark, “Joe Lieberman’s ass smells like a dying weasel crawled up there to have his last cigar.”


Comments: 63

church of the revolving shoe

Another good Lincoln quote

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”


Waitaminute. Just waitaminute there, fellah. You’re sayin that a sitting Republican congressman lied. You’re coming right out and claiming that an American elected official did not tell the truth. This is….This is beyond my capacity to comprehend!!


church of the revolving shoe

Arriving back at his room after the Gettysburg Address he uttered the famous line
“Who the f%#k drank my Slurpie?….Bast#@ds”


Lincoln did beat the shit out of Elmer Fudd after Elmer accused him of growing up in a wog cabin.


“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. ”

-Abraham Lincoln


You know, I think he could serve his constituency far better by wearing a clapboard, upping the volume, and foaming at the mouth.


But you subjected a Republican to a rigorous checking of the facts! That’s plainly unfair, if not actually against the Geneva Conventions!

You ruthless bastards!


“I’ve been out combing the high schools all day.”

—Abraham Lincoln


The fact is, feminist bloggers making fun of Catholic ritual are a more apt example of extremism than a member of the House going on the record with a made-up Lincoln quote to justify his idea that other Representatives who dare to disagree with Dear Leader’s war policy should be hanged.

You people have no sense of proportion.


They say it, their base believes it — case closed!


Even if Lincoln didn’t say it, it’s still wise advice.


Even if Lincoln didn’t say it, it’s still wise advice.

What, the ones about high school girls?


This is a test balloon. If they get away with it then they’ll be quoting Obama thusly; “yo, FUCK, tha po-lice” by next week.


“yo, FUCK, tha po-lice�

Lincoln at his most quotable.


I believe that Lincoln also coined the phrase, “pop a cap in the ass”, as well as “15 will getcha 20”


Seriously, Gary, I think the fakey Lincoln quote goes too far.

Do you really believe the Congressional opposition to Clinton’s Balkans adventure should have been a hanging offense?


Well, the Balkan thing wasn’t even a war, but the situation in Iraq is a part of the War on Terror.

church of the revolving shoe

“Does Manning have the balls to win the big one?” A.L.


“The more you run over a cat, the flatter it gets.”

Words to live by from – you guessed it – Abraham Lincoln.


Shots were fired in anger between two formalized militaries. At least one US aircraft (F-117) was shot down.

That’s not a war?

By your constraints, Gulf War I wasn’t a war, either.


So we can make something a hanging offense merely by calling it a war? Before you answer that you might want to recall that the Dems do control Congress right now, you know, and Congress has the right to declare war…


“I got to the beach. The ground was so sandy. Girls on my jock likes ants on candy.”

—Abraham Lincoln


So let’s see – if Congress fails to stop the “surge”, and the soldiers have to do another extended tour – would morale be damaged? Would overworking soldiers undermine the military, if they’re stressed out, underequipped, and demoralized?

In that case, supporting the “surge” is a hanging offense.

Maybe not such a bad idea after all, Gary!


After being made aware of the calamity of morphine-addicted war-wounded, Lincoln met with the chiefs of the medical corps. “Don’t get high on your own supply,” said the great man.

church of the revolving shoe

“Abe Lincoln, great man, great reputation, just couldn’t shoot the three” G.W.B.


“I got skills!”

—Abraham Lincoln


“Free Bird!!!”

-Abraham Lincoln drunk at the concert


“And the colored girls say, doo do doo do doo do do doo.”

Abe Lincoln, singing back-up.


“Late at night I would listen to the voices of the American masters, Tony Tennille, Debby Boone, Anne Murray who was actually a Canadian working in the American idiom.” ~ Abraham Lincoln.


“I’m tired of the motherfucking jacking
Sweatin my gang when I’m chilling in the shack, and
Shining a light in my face, and for what?
Maybe it’s because I kick so much butt
I kick ass, or maybe ’cause I blast
On a stupid ass nigga when I’m playing with the trigger
Of an uzi or an AK
Cause the police always got something stupid to say
They put out my picture with silence
Cause my identity by itself causes violence”
-Abraham Lincoln, first draft of the Gettysburg Address


Which one of the Heathers was Lincoln?


“Put your poo box away.”
Actual Abe Lincoln quote*

*- As reported by Mr Show


“And when you see me on the real
forming like voltron
I go deep like a navy seal.”

Big Linc on dem confederate gangstas.


Say “What” again! C’mon, say “What” again! I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfucker, say “What” one more goddamn time!

-President Lincoln


“I am Gary Ruppert!”

Real Abraham Lincoln quote. Pinky swear, it’s true.


Well, the Balkan thing wasn’t even a war, but the situation in Iraq is a part of the War on Terror.

I recall some missile attacks on AQ camps in Afghanistan in ’98. Remember that? The GOPers were all yelling something about, “wag the dog…?” It seems there was something else going on around that time. Something… I don’t recall, but it seemed awfully important. Like, impeachment-worthy important…

Aah, forget it.

I’m impressed, Gary. Even KNOWING that the quote is false, you agree with the sentiment: that members of Congress who disagree with the President’s war policy should be hung.

So, just to be clear, you’re advocating the killing of elected officials at the highest level of the US gov’t for the crime of disagreeing?

You are calling for, in short, the violent overthrow of the US gov’t?

Nice going, traitor. Why do you hate America?

(Hey, somebody had to feed your pet troll, folks. He looked hungry. I’m reporting you to the animal cops next time. You shouldn’t take them in if you’re not going to take care of them. And what the hell is that rash on his ass? You never heard of a vet?)


“Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand.”
–Abraham Lincoln


My favorite Civil War (non-Lincoln) quote:

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-…”
-General John Sedgewick, last words


“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman.”

— Abraham Lincoln


“Don’t quote me, boy, ’cause I ain’t said shit.”

—Abraham Lincoln


“Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet”

-Abraham Lincoln, upon signing the emancipation proclamation.


I never realized Lincoln was such a quote machine.

War. On Terror. It’s been siad before, but Gary, How does one fight a war on a non-specific noun? What does it look like? Do we rip it out of every book where the word exists? How about little kids getting Night Terrors? Do we have to stop watching scary movies? What about that instant just before your car is slammed by the bus? Will that stop happening?

What does winning look like? Will there be no more terrorists, ever? Because that’s a hard thing to believe. As Your Soulmate Timmy McVeigh demonstrates, terrists can come from just about anywhere with no warning; even non-scary Whitish Christian-ish males.

Who is the enemy? Does he have a home? A country? A Planet, even? What will a surrender look like?

Like the War on Drugs, I fear it is a catchphrase only, a way to appear tough and create unending war-like activiity for reasons of greed and power. Now show me how that’s not true. You can even use the Dustbin of Hist-o-Ree.

church of the revolving shoe

“You down with OPP?” Abe to General Grant.

church of the revolving shoe

“Crank up the f%#kin’ AC, Mary. We ain’t payin’ for shit!!!”
A.L. Hot day in the Oval Office 1862


“And everything is to the back with a little slack
Cuz inside-out is wickedy wickedy wickedy wack.”

–Abraham Lincoln


Chased him up the street to call a truce
First I beat him down cuz I had the juice
Little did he know I was from the old school
One sucka beat, didn’t know the rules

-A. Lincoln @ Appomattox

I have to correct Righteous Bubba. Lincoln yelled “WHIP-ING POST!!!” on Live At The Fillmore. It was Van Buren calling for Freebird.


Actual dialogue in the Oval Office, ca. 1863:

Vice-President Johnson: “Abe! Workin’ hard?”
President Lincoln: “Hardly workin’!”
Both: “Har!”


“Get your black ass back in that kitchen and bake me a pie, woman!”

~Abe Lincoln, to Mary Todd Lincoln, circa 1850

church of the revolving shoe

“Mary, I’m sick of TV dinners, ride over to Toni’s, get me a Meat Lover’s, easy on the bacon.”
A.L. to Mary also circa 1850


She was living in a single room with three other individuals. One of them was a male and the other two, the other two were females. God only knows what they were up to in there… and furthermore Susan, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to learn that all four of them habitually smoke marijuana cigarettes…


-A. Lincoln, Second Inaugural Address


“I know sometime in the future, some jackass will say that I said something that I didn’t. That jackass should be hung.”

Abraham Lincoln


“Now I got the gun you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It’s not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me”
MC LinCoolin


“I got two guns – one for each of you.”

-Abe “Doc” Lincoln.


You want a toe? I can get a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t want to know about it, believe me.
-A. Lincoln to George McClellan


I have to correct Righteous Bubba. Lincoln yelled “WHIP-ING POST!!!� on Live At The Fillmore. It was Van Buren calling for Freebird.

I am happy to accept correction. Whipping even.

“Please shoot me.”

–Abraham Lincoln at some crappy play


“Who let the dogs out?

Abraham Lincoln


“Yeah you laugh till your motherfuckin ass gets drafted,
while you at band camp thinkin that crap can’t happen,
till you fuck around and get an anthrax napkin,
inside a package wrapped with saran wrap wrappin.
Open the package and then you stand back gaspin,
fuckin assassins hijackin Amtraks crashing.
Next thing you know you got Uncle Sam’s ass askin
to join the army or what you’ll do for their navy.
You just a baby gettin recruited at eighteen.
I’m twenty-eight, they gon take you for they take me!”
– Abraham Lincoln, in a rebuttal to Stephen Douglas


“I don’t play around, nor do I F around,
And you can tell by the bodies that are lef’ around”

-Abraham Lincoln


“My beloved Republican party, what have they done?

-A. ‘Spinning in his grave’ Lincoln.


I looked in the mirror, a red light was blinkin
The cops were after my hot rod



[…] Young, who likes to repeat phony Abraham Lincoln quotes, was formerly the chair of two House committees — Resources, 1995-2001, and Transportation, […]


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