Just what till they see what’s coming next. They’re going to need protection the way they have never needed it before.

[brooklyn accent]:”Nice… uh, oil-producing region you gots here, bub. Be a shame if something… HAPPENED to it. Accidents HAPPEN, y;know…”

Or more to the point:

Luigi: How many men you got here, Colonel?

Dino: Things burn.

Just about the fastest way to lose my interest in any reading matter is to begin with the words, “Speaking of iPods…”

I would never call you “DP.” However, I do reserve the right to cut off your legs and call you “Shorty.”

Hold on, Frum says he was walking along the street when suddenly his iPod started to pick up the secret internal transmissions of his enemies? He’s hearing voices now? And he thinks this makes the voices look bad?

Granted it wouldn’t endall evil, but Frum taking his own life would clearly move the football forward a little.

Frum : reality :: Canadian bacon : bacon

Is he still bragging about his “Axis of Evil” line? Didn’t think so.

Arghh. Not very Xtian of me, but it’s getting to the point where I’m thinking that serious bodily harm to everyone involved in this fucking (ha ha) charade would go a long way to calming the waters and restoring sanity to the world. Yeah, it’s that bad — lil ole pacifist me, wishing busted kneecaps on just about everybody…

In other news, I believe I said a couple days ago that Amanda would not be working for the Edwards campaign for long. But even I am surprised that she resigned this quickly. I believe, for her, it was best. She’s not a hired hack. You use the talents you hire. The whole concept that she could “tone it down” and still “bring it” is stupid beyond measure. And John Edwards is shown to be a pandering Hillary-class politician of the first order. It may just be new love, but I do believe that Obama would not have been quite so easy to push around…

mikey

Why the other night I was playing Rainbow Six Vegas on my Xbox 360 when the chatter of my teammates in Casino Vault was replaced by David Frum’s thoughts. The silence was shattering.

yeah, you called it mikey.

It also may be worth noting that Gilliard strongly made the case that unless the other Dem candidates also repudiated Fake Christian Donohue, they would be next in line to be forced to bow to the Christianists or pay the price, and Clinton and Obama have both been pulled in.

Obviously, any kind of bow toward your opponents just keeps them hard for more. The only response is total disdain. And, of course, poop jokes.

So Bill Donohue walks into a bar with a poop-covered crucifix….

Bartender says, why the long face?

Where the rivers of American Politics and Religion merge into the Amazon of cultural beliefs, Bill Donohue is the Candiru.

mikey

Bill Donohue is the Candiru.
Metaphor of the month!

So, does it make me a bad person if I look at what Frum attribues to a realist (outside of the silence about the initial lead up to war) and think, “man you know that makes sense.” Because honestly, in terms of American interests (as opposed to moral interests) what is Frum saying that would be a net loss?

I guess what I’m trying to ask is, considering moral and human rights obligations mean nothing to Frum, why is he so down on the outcome that he projects on to the realists (who, despite what he is saying, did in many cases oppose the invasion, I mean unless he thinks that the CIA warnings about a possible civil war were made by pie-in-the-sky idealists, in which case his retardation is not just moral).

For those who didn’t read the article here’s what Frum attributes to the realists (as an outcome of the war):

1) Neo-con’s discredited for a generation (okay this might be one of Frum’s objections)
2) Sunni States forced to look to the U.S. for protection from the rising threat of Shitte Extremeism (Iran, Iraq)
3) Israel forced to compromise because of some unmentioned reason

I mean outside of the humanitarian crisis which withdrawl will precipitate (not sure this can be avoided at this point anyway) and the rise of a Nuclear Iran (which again looks inevitable regardless of a continued U.S. presence in Iraq) I’m not seeing the major loss here.

What is the frequency, David?

Alright Mr. Socrates, you made me read the article blog post.

So who’s being smeared?

There’s David Axelrod, the strategist at Obama’s right hand, perhaps the best-known Democratic consultant working outside of Washington, D.C., equally adept at sensing the right metaphor for high-minded aspirations and at finding the vulnerable spot to savage an opponent.

Key players also include friends of Obama, among them a straight-talking veteran of Chicago Democratic circles, Valerie Jarrett, and a group of South Side professionals…

I’d guess that’s it. Or Democrats in general.

But I object to the idea of neoconmen being discredited for a generation, because by now they ought to be DISCREDITED FOREVER.

Does anyone know who David Frum is trying to smear here in this crappy piece of neocon magical-realism?

Oh, probably just sane people.

Mikey wins the trophies for both “Creepiest animal knowledge” and “Most apt metaphor” in one horrifying link.

That has to be a record.

Of course, now I’m wondering if we can get some of those icky fish to swim into Democratic spokespeople and erect a spine…

Try: “From Hell’s heart, he stabs at thee. For hate’s sake, he spits his last breath at thee.” Of course, if it were truly his last breath, we’d have to declare a national holiday. It would give us a day off to shovel the snow and think of the Augean mountain of shite Frum had bequeathed us.

Although, to be perfectly accurate, mikey’s metaphor was more in line of a pee joke than a poop joke.

Sadly, No! Branching into new coprophagous humor for 2007!

Wilson. Armitage. Others from State of their stripe and general paygrade.

I submit, ladies and gentlemen, that we are not limited to mere poop jokes. No, we are more than that. Indeed, there is inherent within us, a deep and abiding love of ALL efluvium, no matter the color or orifice of origin. Let us come together, here now in this place, and reaffirm our commitment to all bodily fluid humor, and to declare, before our lord and our peers, that 2007 be for now and all time the year of phlegm!!!

mikey

Shorter mikey: Blogostomyâ„¢, meet Paruresis.

P.S. I know these things are only peripherally tangential, but I throwing it out there anyways.

Ah, the heartache of Paruresis. How satisfying to know there’s a word for it, which I will do my best to work into the conversation whenever possible. I look forward to the inevitable feel-good made-for-TV movie on the subject.
Come to think of it — If the condition has been labelled, does this mean that a Pharma company is preparing to target it with some chemical treatment?

Meanwhile, back at the Amazon of cultural beliefs, keep your eye out for the piranha.

And speaking of peripherally tangential, in a somewhat tenuous stretch . . .

Have any of you tried to go to Pandagon lately? The site’s down, which I guess is to be expected under the circumstances, but the hate mail Amanda has received from koncerned kristians (catalogued in brief on the “site down” page) is enough to cause both cold sweat and projectile vomiting. Jeebus, save me from your followers. What a hateful bunch of sociopaths.

Actually, given the happenings so far, I will maintain that 2007 is the Year of Bile.

Phlegm? Bile? Fair enough, Blood and Melancholia don’t need their own allocated years; they’re universal.

I think it’s going to be the year of whatever you call it when the right-wing shitflinger machine goes into desperation-flail mode, spattering any opponent within range on the flimsiest possible pretexts, usually in naked defiance of the facts. It’s going to be the year of that.

Mort, remember – Christians are the people who brought us the Inquisition.

If this were just a couple of hundred years ago, they wouldn’t be saying those things to Amanda – they’d be doing them to her.

Christians scare me. No offense – this is a free country, and y’all have the right to scare me and everything. I don’t even expect government protection against your general inherent scariness. You don’t have to stop doing anything or change anything you do just because I’m afraid of you. But none of that changes the fact that, by and large, Christians scare me.

“If this were just a couple of hundred years ago, they wouldn’t be saying those things to Amanda – they’d be doing them to her.”

“It is not their love of humanity but the impotence of their love of humanity that prevents today’s Christians from burning us.” Nietszche, ‘Beyond Good and Evil’

Is it bad that Nietzsche scares me too?

Jillian. Trust me. A good smith or ruger 4 inch .357, couple o’ mods, a little training, a couple of safariland combat speedloaders and there’s no need to fear those assholes. It really is freedom…

mikey

You know, with all the complaining about not having a national politician (i.e., a Democrat) “with a spine” for whom to vote, Ralph Nader seems to have been conveniently forgotten. We had our chance to select a lifelong public servant who’s anathema to lobbyists, payola, and the cheap vulgar sophistry that currently passes for national debate. Nah, we’re too busy chasing phantoms that have long ago been vaporized by the corporate conservative hegemony, which now comprises both parties. Come on, admit it. Dems = Rethugs. The only hope for breaking out of this corporately owned, totally fucked paradigm is popular support for someone outside the current throttling two-party system. Just sayin’. Don’t gimme no bullshit about Nader’s ego, his spoiler status, how he enabled Bush, yadda yadda. WE enabled Bush by not voting our consciences. You know it’s true.

Bush LOST!!

Just sayin…

mikey

It’s been a few years since I’ve picked up a handgun, mikey, but I can do some surprising things with a .357….especially for a li’l bitty girl.

I was dating the son of a cop a while back, and he thought it would be romantic to take me to the firing range. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he saw how tiny my target cluster was (after a couple of practice runs to get the feel for his guns, of course).

I don’t really fear ’em on an intimate, personal level – more on the level of “oh, my stars, these strange people are ramping themselves back up into the sort of frenzy they display right before they start rampaging en masse and chopping zillions of peoples’ heads off”. One well-prepared woman (or man) can’t really do much about that.

Hey, did you know that the last conviction under Britain’s Witchcraft laws happened in 1944? They stuck some lady in jail because they were scared she’d use her magic powers to spoil the D-Day invasion.

Religious people in general kinda scare me…how do you defend yourself against the charge of “being a witch”? Other than proving you don’t weigh the same as a duck, of course.

Dems = Rethugs

Fuck you. You’re telling me things would be basically the same today if Gore had been made president in 2000? Iraq, torture, shadow governments, massive redistribution of wealth in favor of the super-rich, backing out of Kyoto, packing the courts and civil service with incompetent rightwing idealogues etc etc etc. No. Fuck you. You’re either a child or out of your fucking mind.

The only hope for breaking out of this corporately owned, totally fucked paradigm is popular support for someone outside the current throttling two-party system.

It would take way too long to build a third party. In the meantime, it would just split the liberal vote. That would let President PNAC implement a real police state. I think we should push the Democrats to change. It took the Limbaugh’s and the Hewitt’s a while to move to the forefront of the Republican Party. Ronnie Raygun really tapped that well. The GOP is a far-right party. The Democratic Party is centrist. The Democratic Party has the potential to be a counterweight that balances the ideological scale. The most expedient way to influence the U.S.’s direction is by joining a mainstream party and encouraging candidates (via encouraging individual voters) to support a liberal platform. I don’t care if that is pollyannaish. We don’t have that much time. While we’re doing that work, we might have to sit through some transition years of shitty Democrats. Or not. We might have some great ones taking the lead. Now, if there is an economic collapse or another terrorist attack in the next few years, all bets are off. Then things will get really bad.

You can’t pick up stray analog signals on an iPod, it has no antenna. The iPod is not like a series of tubes. Yes, it has a speaker, but Frum might just as well say it’s haunted.

The iPod is not like a series of tubes

This is my new motto. EErrr, mission statement. Ahh, fuck that, sew a flag, I’m going Privateer!!!!

mikey

In the spirit of orifices and effluvia, I would characterize “Dusty” Foggo, “Brent” Wilkes, and “Duke” Cunningham as the oozing fistulae of our national intelligence leadership organs.

The iPod doesn’t have a speaker, either. It doesn’t have any intrinsic way of making a noise, unless you throw it at someone, then it makes a “Thwok!”

Deep breath.

Jillian — yes, in general, people who go out of their way to define themselves as Christians scare me because they have Teh Fever. But at the same time, saying such a thing makes me feel really bad for people like my son’s girlfriend, who is an actual Christian (i.e. she believes people should be treated with compassion and that we have a duty to care for one another and she doesn’t believe in condemning others for anything that doesn’t hurt anyone else). She’s in a distinct minority, I’ll admit — but that just makes the gross unfairness of her being painted with that broad brush all the grosser.

Nabob — there’s nothing particularly recent about either the two-party system or the vulgar sophistry that passes for debate. They’ve both been around for quite some time. I’m with tb on this one: to claim that Gore is the same as Bush (or that Kerry is the same, or that Edwards, Obama, or either Clinton is the same) is just ignoring too many crucial distinctions. Would any of the above-named Dems be our savior? Probably not. Neither would Nader. But any of them would be better — significantly, meaningfully, world-shiftingly better than the current lot we’re saddled with.

Mikey — I’ve got the flag. Let’s go.

The Realist was a magazine edited by Paul Krassner

Nader has had 6 years to work on grassroots support and build up a viable third party. He has done squat. And that I won’t forgive him for. He doesn’t want a true third party: he wants to be a fucking hero. That Cinderella shit never works. Even if he did get elected, what happens in 8 years? Business as usual, with the same crew and supporting cast we have now. Compare the administration employee list of Bush 1 to Bush 2 and get a fucking clue.

The Dems won in 2006 because Howard Dean got off his ass and worked hard and supported low level candidates in every state, and because hard working Dems everywhere spent their time and money and sweat to make it happen.

If Nader had done that after 2000, we wouldn’t be whining for a third party today. Too little. Too late.

The Dems won in 2006 because Howard Dean got off his ass and worked hard and supported low level candidates in every state

Yes, and also because people like Patrick Murphy, who knows what he’s talking about when it comes to the war in Iraq, ran on a platform of truth — and is still speaking the truth today.

The iPod is not like a series of tubes
Mind you, there’s nothing wrong with being a series of tubes.
[Pours akvavit into one orifice. Waits for bile and phlegm to emerge from other orifices]

(after a couple of practice runs to get the feel for his guns, of course).

Practice makes perfect … sense.

My dad was an iPod.

Nader is a phony, a raging egomaniac. Dorothy is exactly right– he didn’t care about building up the Green Party or contributing anything lasting to the progressive movement. It was always all about personal glory for Ralph Nader, which is really too bad. He had an opportunity to create something and did squat with it.

To randomly share good news I just was made aware of, pitchers and catchers begin reporting today.
Baseball is back.
Football is over.
Halle fuckin leuiah.

christians, muslims, jews, mormons, adventists, zoroastrians- all scary: because once you start believing in invisible sky-fairies with demands and agendas where do you draw the line, and why? If you believe that you know THE. ULTIMATE. TRUTH. about the universe, then everybody who doesn’t believe the same is wrong about the most important thing in the world, so why respect them at all? And all the sky-fairies have punishments promised for unbelievers after death; why not help the process along? Sure, the Maryknoll nuns, the Berrigans, MLK, we can name any number of real saints; we can name an even larger number of persecutors-in-the-name-of *.deity.
bottom line- ignore the physical world and the real people in it in favor of an irrational dogma, and there are no limits.

The Dems and Thugs have had a stranglehold on the process for, what, 100 years or so, and they comprise the most thoroughly interlocking political power system ever known to humankind, and you’re willing to give Nader, what, six years to overturn an entrenched corrupt mutually-beneficial oligarchy? Yeah. “If Nader had only blah blah blah.” If we had only surrounded him with support and $$ we might have actually had a chance to stick a wedge in the corporately-owned US of A. As long as we continue to think, “Oh gee, the Dems REALLY care about reproductive rights and and the environment, and and everybody getting a fair shake and and and,” we’re continuing to enable to current paradigm. Throw in the corporately-owned media and you’ve got a triumvirate worthy of ancient Rome. C’mon, l’il sheep. Try some REAL subversion for a change. Or keep on doing what you’ve always been doing, and continue to complain when nothing changes.

I repeat: Dems = Rethugs. The faces change, but the song remains the same.

The Dems and Thugs have had a stranglehold on the process for, what, around 100 years or so? They comprise the most thoroughly interlocking political power system ever known to humankind, and you’re willing to give Nader, what, six years to overturn such a multibillion-dollar, entrenched corrupt mutually-beneficial oligarchy? Too late to form a third party? Since fucking WHEN?

Yeah. “If Nader had only blah blah blah.” If WE had only surrounded him with support and $$ we might have actually had a chance to stick a wedge in the corporately-owned US of A. Egocentric? Tell me someone who would want to run for Prez who isn’t. And your point is–?

As long as we continue to think, “Oh gee, the Dems REALLY care about reproductive rights and and the environment, they’re REALLY different, really they are, and and everybody getting a fair shake and and and,” we’re continuing to enable the current paradigm. The Dems aren’t even “centrist.” They’re Rethug Lite. There is no left in this country anymore. Throw in the corporately-owned media and you’ve got a triumvirate worthy of ancient Rome. C’mon, l’il sheep. Try some REAL subversion for a change. Or keep on doing what you’ve always been doing, and continue to be shocked and appalled and rant on the InterTubes when nothing changes.

I repeat: Dems = Rethugs. The faces change, but the song remains the same.

I defy you, dalton periphery: I’m not afraid of Zoroastrians. Neener.

Try some REAL subversion for a change.

What REAAAL subversion have you participated in? I want to know. Stickman on the 20-foot Smokey The Joint puppet doesn’t count.

The faces change, but the song remains the same.

Dude, I totally see now that you’ve quoted Zeppelin to me.

One problem with Nader — even if you take at face value the claim that he represents a radical change in the face of politics — is that the majority of the voting populace doesn’t want radical change. Most people want to live their lives in relative, reasonable freedom. I think the motto of the largest segment of the American electorate is “Live and let live.” Sure, some things can move them off that second part — terrorist attacks, crime, other things that personally scare them — but “subvert the dominant paradigm”? Nah. If that makes them sheep in your eyes, so be it. But really, contempt for the electorate is so major-party of you. (But I bet you could make some good coin selling “subvert the dominant paradigm” t-shirts!)

Yeah, six years isn’t really a long time to effect a major change in the two-party structure of American politics. On the other hand, Bill Clinton made significant changes in the Democratic Party in less time than that. Sure, he was helped by 30 years of party disarray, and the changes he made moved the party to the right — but the point is, a smart, dedicated person can actually affect the two-party system without trying to topple it all in one go. (Which, by the way, will never happen. NEVER. HAPPEN.)

Besides, “six years” is an understatement of Nader’s involvement in national politics. He publically said in 1980 that he hoped Reagan beat Carter, because it would give a huge boost to his kind of grass-roots activism. (Hmm… didn’t that sentiment have an echo in the 2000 election?) But beyond that, he’s been bitching about the sell-out of the Democratic Party since 1990, and his first run at the presidency was in 1996. So he’s had more like 16 years to create a viable third party. Where is it?

(Note, it is also a bit of an overstatement to say that the Democrats and Republicans have been two faces of the same coin for 100 years. Really, it wasn’t until the aftermath of 1968 that the Dems really started the process of flailing around for a direction that ultimately pushed them into the Republican suit they tend to wear these days. So in broadest terms, I’d give the “corrupt corporatist Democratic/Republican axis” a maximum age of about 40 years. Nader’s 16 years — or even 6 — doesn’t seem so short in comparison any mroe. Plus, of course, Nader has been an activist for more than 40 years, and could have stepped in to try to subvert the dominant paradigm any time he wanted. So where was he?)

tb, child:
Do you think that phrase was original with Led Zeppelin?

And that’s dude-ette to you, Mr. Presumptuous.

“What REAAAL subversion have you participated in? I want to know. Stickman on the 20-foot Smokey The Joint puppet doesn’t count.”

Wow. How delightfully clever and cool and stuff. Don’t try bullying me, pal. It makes you sound like an NRO Cornerer.

Y’know, nabob, you could just not reply when smacked down like that, instead of trying to save face with ineffective snark.
Very well said, Dan Someone.

NN- You can’t just show up and call people sheep and the Republican-lite and not expect to get smacked around a little bit. Still waiting to hear your credentials as a “real” subversive.

Thanks Dan. I wish I could communicate as effectively as you, but when I read this Dem=Repub horseshit I just want to break things. It’s like George Bush and his hundreds of thousands of dead and maimed never even happened for these fucking idiots.

The fact is, liberals are the party of death and failure, always blaming America when they are the enemies with,

Go watch the movie, “An Unreasonable Man”. they have a website, AnUnreasonableMan.com. And if you really hate Ralph, have the balls to go see this movie. It’s amazing. I guarantee it’s not what you think it is. It inspired me to be a better American. And that’s not easy.

Hey, did you know that the last conviction under Britain’s Witchcraft laws happened in 1944? They stuck some lady in jail because they were scared she’d use her magic powers to spoil the D-Day invasion.

If it’s any consolation, Jillian, I heard something on the radio today about people campaigning to have her pardoned… posthumously, I suspect.