Team Poop

Hugh Hewitt reaches into his bag of straw men and finds some nicely made up bullshit to throw around — on the site of ABC News no less:

It was indeed “good government” to push for a Team B approach to the question of Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda, and given the CIA’s failure to understand the WMD situation in Iraq, or predict the civil unrest that has followed the overthrow of Saddam[.]

Hugh — you’re my baby girl, you know that you are, you’re my honeybunch, my sweet lucky star, So put your hand in mine, I will slap your sweet behind:

CIA’s Bleak Outlook On Iraq
Contrary To Bush Team’s Optimism, Civil War Seen As Possibility

Play that funky music white boy:

The Bush administration disregarded intelligence reports two months before the invasion of Iraq which warned that a war could unleash a violent insurgency and rising anti-US sentiment in the Middle East, it emerged yesterday. […] According to Mr Novak, details of the estimate were disclosed by Paul Pillar, the CIA’s national intelligence officer for the near east and south Asia and one of the officials involved in preparing the report, at a private dinner on the west coast. Mr Pillar told his dinner companions that the White House had disregarded the warnings.

Troy, so troy*:

Yesterday, a government official confirmed that the two prewar reports had sounded clear warnings of a widening struggle for Iraq. The official also noted that the conclusions in the assessment were shared by the entire intelligence community, not just the CIA. [same link]

If you want to know who failed to predict the mess, Hugh, start with these guys.

In conclusion, Hugh reveals that he and Captain Crunch have something in common:

We need a permanent “Team B,” whether housed at the Department of Defense or somewhere else, and staffed by pros overseen by the smartest folks in the world of intelligence gathering. Perhaps it should be a group whose membership is dictated by past positions held — all former secretaries of defense, all former heads of CIA, all former heads of NSA etc. [Emphasis added]

Yes, those very same heads Hugh was returning.

* This is “funnier” if you know Die Fantastischen Vier.


Comments: 39


* This is “funnier� if you know Die Fantastischen Vier.

Wtf? Somebody cut out the good part of that German scheiss porn and replaced it with some godawful Euro-rap.


If anything, this team B was an even more spectacular failure than the original.


Huey is a pansy; he simply doesn’t go far enough. The only clear solution is to disband the CIA, and create a Department of Ponies in its place. That way Commandant in Chief Bush can always get the intelligence he wants! And once the Ministry of Truth is established, he’ll never be wrong!!

It is a common-sense solution to every problem facing mankind. I regret Huey’s shortsightedness on this matter.


…wait… that wasn’t what you meant by Team Poop, was it.

Sorry, it’s just that usually when a video starts out with a skimpy blonde drinking with 4 german guys and there isn’t a Keanu Reeves worth of acting between them, I tend to expect… er…

*zips up pants*


It’s really time for some putative Spew Spewitt columns defending Bush for ripping the head off a newborn baby with his teeth on the White House lawn, etc. Or nuking Nebraska. Or pissing on Hewitt’s face.

Because you know he’d do it. Heck, he was rah-rahing Harriet Mieirs, which makes him a cheerleader to a cheerleader.


Hugh, re Greenwald:

“This is madness, a refusal to admit any evidence that contradicts pet conclusions.”

(Sits at keyboard, looks out window, fails to come up with any suitable response after 15 minutes, is reduced to describing same and then giving up.)


Ok, I think I understand this (and that in itself scares me). Hugh is proposing that in order to counter the possiblility that the mainstream intelligence community MIGHT make a mistake at some point in the future, what we need to do is set up a completely separate intelligence analysis group outside of all the standard intel channels whose job it is to just MAKE SHIT UP! Then, when the intel community’s analysis is that the Iranians are not contributing to the Sunni insurgency and in fact would be a lot happier with a country on their southern border that was NOT tearing itself apart in ethnic and sectarian violence while under military occupation by the American military, they can just pop up from their little square metal box with the crank on the side and announce their newfangled irrefutable proof that the Iranian government is actually putting BABIES AND PUPPIES in those centerfuges.

It’s just good government…



Shorter* mikey: “Hey, what ever happened to the Office of Special Plans?”

* “Shorter” concept created by Billy Barty and perfected by Herve Villechaize


The Office of Special Plans is sooo troy.


If Doug Feith (founder of OSP) is the “stupidest motherf*cker on the planet” according to Tommy Franks, and Hugh Hewitt thinks a permanent OSP should be staffed by people like Feith, that must mean Hewitt is now the uber-stupidest motherf*cker on the planet. Congratulations, call now to collect your prize, Hugh!


And in the meantime, Doug Feith is employing the Swedish Penis Enlarger defense.

Stupidest mutherfucker in the solar system. Including Uranus.


Two things:

One: Shorter Doug Feith

A Venetian inquest court today found that Iago’s recent actions, while unethical and morally questionable, were not illegal. The families of Othello and Desdemona were greatly relieved by this discovery.

(Yeah, I’ve used that before somewhere. So sue me.)

Two: Jeane Kirkpatrick died? Where have I been? I have to assume that the reason I haven’t heard anything about it here is that y’all had mamas like mine, and got told to never speak ill of the dead. With that requirement in effect, it’s barely possible to say her name.


Actual title of an actual Georgetown University Press Release:

Former Under Secretary of Defense Douglas J. Feith Joins Georgetown Faculty as Distinguished Practitioner in National Security Policy

My friend John’s degree just got a whole lot more worthless.

And now, we know where not to send our kids who want to major in PoliSci.


Could we maybe have the smartest people overseeing Team A instead??


Fuck that noise.

What we need is the A-Team.


Starring B.A. Barak, Lt. John “Face” Edwards, “Howling Mad” Clinton, and Col. Terry “Hannibal” Mcauliffe.


Wow, 2gether lyrics? This blog gets crazy hipster sometimes.


Jillian, Jeane kicked the bucket December 7, a date which will live in infamy.

Quickly scrolling through the Sadly archives, I find this post closest to being on topic (it’s about a former U.N. ambassador, and wingnut to boot!).

So. Prescient.


Sheesh, I really have been working too hard lately.

A typical day for me involves leaving the house at 5:30 and not getting home until 6:30 or 7:00.

I really do need the A-Team.

But in more chpper news, the Dixie Chicks documentary is due out on DVD next week. I think if I’m teaching government next year, I might use it to do a unit on free speech.

(It’s just an excuse for me to buy it for myself. I wanted to see it, but I just didn’t have the time to get into New York when it was out.)


* This is “funnier� if you know Die Fantastischen Vier.

If there’s any justice and there is a Hell, you should burn in its darkest pits for all eternity as punishment for posting this link and then personally forcing me to listen to that… “song”. In fact, if there’s any real justice, you’ll burn in Hell forever twice, once for each time you made me listen to it…


Gah. Stupid bold tags. Well, at least I mis-used two sets of ’em.


well nevertheless i thought it was tray amusing… all Deutschlander crap seems impossibly ridiculously funny to me tho… i have no idea what they’re even talking about but take themselves sufficiently seriously to make me laff till my bowels are full… kinda like most of the self-important posts on this very blog


Strange option to use the term “Team B” to refer to this “alternative intelligence interpretation” group, considering that you probably wouldn’t want to remind people that this isn’t the first time neocons like Rumsfeld have used a unit by that name to produce fantasy-based intel to justify military policy.


These idiots crack me up. They come to a blog, say this one, and they tell us how much they hate it. Self-important, smug, elitest, whatever. What I hear them all say goes something like this:

“Y’know, I read your blog every day. I hate it. You’re all a bunch of elitest, self-important, nasty, deranged, umm, angry, terrorist loving umm assholes. Thanks for letting me post, I’ll be back tommorow”…

Gotta say, this is a sad reflection on the fullness of their life…



Gotta say, this is a sad reflection on the fullness of their life…

You fucker, I left a comment at Town Hall today! Town fucking Hall!

But yes, that’s the fullness of my life.


I hope it was for K-Lo, Bubba.

Smiling Mortician

Bubba, I love it whenever you take one for the team.


Alas, it was not for K-Lo, but Dinesh, who seems mystified that people will embrace stupid, but not THAT stupid.

It’s this sort of behaviour that defines our boundaries:
Slam your fingers in the door? Okay.
Again? Okay.
Put your weenie in there now. What, are you fucking nuts?


Hee hee.


Huh hunh….


The White House spokesman, Scott McClellan, suggested the assessment was the work of “handwringers”.

And without so much as a how do you do for Hughie’s plausible deniability, Scotty had to go on the record acknowledging the White House saw the reports.


Wasn’t Clueless Hugh one of the ones who’s been telling us there wasn’t any “civil unrest” in Iraq in the first place, until it became so bad even his ilk couldn’t ignore it anymore?


Can we get a picture of Hugh with his sweaty man-boobs to go with this story, please? They had that one over at Tbogg’s, so why not here?


Can we get a picture of Hugh with his sweaty man-boobs to go with this story, please? They had that one over at Tbogg’s, so why not here?

Not sure why anyone would want to see The Sweaty ManBoobs again, but just as a health advisory: Involuntary vomiting is *not* recommended as a weight-loss method, okay?


We need a permanent “Team B,� whether housed at the Department of Defense or somewhere else, and staffed by pros overseen by the smartest folks in the world of intelligence gathering

If you’ve gathered together “the smartest folks in the world of intelligence gathering”, wouldn’t it be a good idea to put them in charge of “Team A”?


I’m willing to take two for teh team!


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