Why, is the right angry because The Right Brothers didn’t win?

I loved Natalie channelling Nelson Muntz: “HA-ha!”

Damn, I love me some Dixie Chicks.

oh boy, D – now you’re gonna have drblt come in here and pimp his crap with the wrong link again!

for shame, pimpster.

Did y’all see who got the Grammy for Best Spoken Word? Jimmy Carter, for the audio version of his book, Our Endangered Values.

Rock on, Mr. President!

By my count, that’s Dixie Chicks 5, Bushie Dicks 0…

Remember a million political light years ago when the Dixie Chicks said they were embarrased to be from the same state as Bush? Now of course everyone is openly willing to shout out how they’re ashamed to be from the same country as W. It’s kind of like how “everyone” was a Woodstock.

It’s kind of like how “everyone� was a Woodstock.

I love this phenomena. It’s like how a few years after the gigantic landslide victory in ’72, nobody actually voted for Nixon…

mikey

“at” Woodstock…

Good Lord! I can’t get even basic prepositions right these days. But now that I know how Bush feels, I think I’ll blame it on Iran.

But, but, but Al Barger is a “respected music critic!” He’s the Lester Bangs of Indiana Libertarians, and a glowing review from him is way better than any Grammy. Or any five Grammys.

The Sammich will not be able to resist this thread and I may be busy later, so I will take this opportunity to remind him that his music sucks with the suck power of ten million black holes.

nobody actually voted for Nixon…

Yeah, funny thing about that is that by ’08 outside of powerline, you’ll be so hard to find a Bush voter, that would reckon that GWB lost the election in 2000.

Oh wait…

I’m sorry, but JK47 has it wrong.

his first mistake was calling that monotonous strumming and off-tune singing ‘music’.

much like you couldn’t call ten-thousand monkeys turning out a copy of shakespeare ‘writing’.

or, like calling annieangel ‘hot’, or ‘sane’.

This thread is fast becoming a tantalizing trail of luscious troll-bait.

Prozacula is right. I should have utilized scare quotes when referring to the Sammich’s “music.”

Dr. BLT not winning a Grammy is the most blatant case of liberal music-industry bias since the shutout of Shoanna Z in 2000.

the Lester Bangs of Indiana Libertarians

OK, that made me laugh so hard that I alarmed Ganesh Bengal Cat (this is not really all that difficult to do, even without lol’ing), and in his panic he jumped from the back of the sofa to the back of my office chair to save me from the evil humor or for me to save him from it or something, and we all fell over. But we’re all OK, I, because I am highly medicated, the chair, because it is highly sturdy (and quite inanimate), and GBC, because he is highly retarded and virtually indestructible.

And Doc Sammich has already been all over the last few S,N! threads, pimping his latest drool, with, as prozacula has pointed out to him several times, the wrong fucking link.

Congrats to President Carter. If Gore wins an Oscar, you just know the Boy-King is going to have to nuke Iran to regain his self-esteem.

When are the Oscars? I don’t watch award shows, so I don’t know these things.

Is there time between now and the Oscars to impeach? Because I’m serious about the nuke thing.

You know he wants to.

I feel like a sucka, I had to read all the way down to where he was picturing President Codpiece making a devil handsign and singing like Rob Halford to realize it was a parody.

This thread is fast becoming a tantalizing trail of luscious troll-bait.

It’d make a funny anime bit.

Evil villain: I summon…JEFF GOLDSTEIN! [whooshing and funny lighting effects as a towering cock-slapper appears]

(Incantation voice): Patterico. Patterico. Patterico.

You cannot defeat my JOSH TREVINO! [Giant bespectacled lizard starts vomiting concrete subclauses at you]

“a premptive strike- kind of like US in Iraq.”

Ah, but my Glenn Reynolds has a special effect. Whenever you attack it for something it did, it’s ability activates. I only linked to it, I didn’t endorse it, thus making it indestructible to monster damage.

Eye of newt … ass of jack … oh, Vox Day, so glad you could make it to our summoning.

You have clearly not reckoned with my Giant Ann Althouse and her Hypno-Trainwreck attack, which, through its very failure, freezes all players for as long as she’s attacking!

GRAAARR! [trips] GROOF!

THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID. YOU CAN’T READ.

GRAAR!

Dixie Cwits!

The only way I can counter Althouse is by playing Atlas Pam. Normally, Atlas Pam would be enough to stop even the idiocy of Ann Althouse in her tracks, but I equip the magic card of Youtube vlog to Pam thus allowing Pam to attack everyone at once.

or, like calling annieangel ‘hot’, or ’sane’.

Women who talk about how hot they are = not hot.

For further evidence of this, I refer you to Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey.

Is anyone else thinking that there’s a great Magic: The Gathering card subset to be made out of the wingnuts? You’d get the cards with the portraits in suitably tough-guy poses (gritted teeth,head tilted back, brows furrowed) and down below would be the stats (special attacks: cockslap +3 every other turn, special defenses: impenetrable wall of delusional stupidity)… the Pat Robertson card allows you to leg-press 14,000 pounds of Jonah Goldberg columns, etc. etc.

Gotta think of a catchy name … uhhh “Wingnuts: The Mean-Spirited Irrationality”? Naw. Too long. “Teh Stoopid”? Hmm. Too on-the-nose.

Suggestions?

Damn. That’s the first comment I’ve posted in a week that’s actually made it up in anything like the shape that I composed it in. Must mean the Polski DoS spammers are taking the afternoon off to enjoy some tasty pirogi.

Mmmmm …. pirogi …

Wignuttia: Teh Blathering

Envy me, assholes.

right on time. Where’s shoepimpy?

Where’s shoepimpy?

He’s at his day job sucking farts out of the seats in the waiting area at the local Greyhound terminal.

But were the Grammys rigged to provide political payback for the Dixie Chicks? If it walks like a duck….

quack quack! cheap cheap!

This was a prime example of:

Playing Politics with the Dixie Chicks
Dr. BLT
words and music by Dr BLT (c)2007
http://www.drblt.net/music/DixieChicks.mp3

(written and recorded early this morning)

Shoelimpy +1 pie-eating cards are not actually that powerful.

Trolliors, come out and play-ee-ay!

It feels so good to bite the hand that forgot to feed me!

“He’s an independent artist with incorrect politics, so there’s no chance that this would ever get the recognition.” Al Barger

“Oh, and don’t let me forget — the lack of talent is a deal-breaker too.” Al Barger

“Oh, and he sucks ass, too. But that sort of goes without saying.” –Al Barger

oh my god. I’m sorry I listened to that, dr blt.

your blatant ripoff of Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer must be banned.!

“He’s not just gratuitously spouting every kind of unfounded hateful crap, but staying carefully on message: ‘While you’re out posing for your liberal friends, have you forgotten the planes flying into our buildings?'”

BLT — Carefully On Message Unfounded Hateful Crap.

Dixie Chicks winning five Grammys = meaningless and blatantly political

Wingnut nobody Al Barger including your wingnut song on his “best of” list = evidence of sheer genius

While it was nice to see the Chicks win those Grammys, let’s remember that the Grammys totally blow. They’re the least respected major award.

None of the REAL best records of the year– TV On The Radio, Yo La Tengo, Ghostface Killah, Peter Bjorn & John, M. Ward, Vetiver, Califone, Belle and Sebastian, Neko Case– got as much as a sniff from the Grammys.

Still, anything that gets the wingnuts’ panties in a twist is a-OK with me. Go Chicks!

Hey, does ‘Red Eye’ have musical guests? If so I bet they’re in need of a few doctrinally pure, um, performers.

That’d get you nearly as much exposure as trolling on a blog!

The Right Brothers were passed over once again. The fact is, they can rock any liberals ass to Russia.

The fact is, they can rock any liberals ass to Russia.

Shouldn’t that be “back to Russia”?

You’re a couple of existential evil-empire threats behind, buckaroo.

Gary’s a firm believer of sticking with the hemline you like and and it’ll come around again.

I can’t say I’m not with him on this one. Ole Pooty-Poot is an authoritarian’s dreamboat.

The fact is, they can rock any liberals ass to Russia.

Sounds like Gary got that one from the Wesley Willis Song Generator.

Here’s a tribute to Gary and Dr. BLT:

Rock a liberal’s ass
by Wesley Willis

I like you a lot in the long run.
I like you a lot in the long run.
You are a commie star.
You really whoop a snow lepoard’s ass.

ROCK A LIBERAL’S ASS!!!
ROCK A LIBERAL’S ASS!!!
ROCK A LIBERAL’S ASS!!!
ROCK A LIBERAL’S ASS!!!

You really whoop the horse’s ass.
I like rock a liberal’s ass a lot.
You can really jam harder like a magicist.
You can really get in the groove.

Rock over London,
Rock on Chicago.

Carquest – you’re welcome.

A little Wesley is a great antidote for Gary and teh Sandwich Doctor.

It’s like he was transcribing the cosmos, and translating it into the closest english approximation.

Rock over London
Rock on Chicago.

Oh and Gary, the Right brothers are rock pussies. The Ramones Rocked to Russia in the 70’s. Try to remain in the right decade, if not the right millennium.

The Right Brothers are like Dr. BLT with a fuzz box and fewer chords. And fewer active braincells between the two. They sound like the Hundred Guitar Band from Idiocracy, but with less finesse.

What BLT should get is a vocoder. That low-tech country right-wing shit would sound wonderfully alien if a robot voice was singing it.

The Grammys always suck. But Mary J. tore the roof off the dump!

“While it was nice to see the Chicks win those Grammys, let’s remember that the Grammys totally blow. They’re the least respected major award.”

That’s why I consider it a distinct honor that they sadistically snubbed me (yeah, like I’m really that delusional), and gave the Dixie Chicks a conspicuously high enough number of awards to make themselves look like the mother of all vast left-wing conspiracies.

BTW, since I figured out that all insults received here equal sour grapes, each insult tastes a little sweeter than the one that went before it.

Anybody know greasemonkey-fu?

Because I have a hunch that Dr. Sammich also enjoys pastry in round pans. After all, who doesn’t?

Alas, we meet again, GoatBoy. You sure must be a glutton for punishment.

One thing I do enjoy in round pans is sour grapes. I’ve been finding lots of those here. I’m not going to insult you, GoatBoy.

And if any of these comments represent a bait for this certified troll to release a free copy of my new Anna Nicole song, forget it. It’s not going to be that easy anymore. If I offered easy links to all of my songs, folks would begin to take them for granted. No, you’ll just have to hunt for that one. Besides, you’d all accuse me of song pimping, and I’m slowing growing beyond that now.

(yeah, like I’m really that delusional)

I believe you’re that delusional. Delusional is kind of a synonym for conservative, isn’t it?

Think about this: the same species that produced Beethoven also produced Dr. BLT. Now that is some crazy shit.

“One thing I do enjoy in round pans is sour grapes.”

Aesop’s Fox and the Grapes has nothing to do with jealousy. Maybe you could write a barely-song about it.

“Think about this: the same species that produced Beethoven also produced Dr. BLT.”

I’m clearly no Bethoven, but I’ll be “Bach” shortly.

So, any paying gigs lately? What’s your guarantee up to these days?

goatboy: he’s so busy self-promoting, he has no clue about the wonder of pie.

mmmmmm….pie!

What’s the biggest crowd you’ve ever played for, Dr. B? And was that crowd paying? Were you on the marquee?

Who am I kidding? We all know you’re a dilettante and a poser. Not to mention a mangler of idiom (though that might just be some more o’ dem “sour grapes”).

I only play for small crowds with large IQs.

I may be over-rated, but I’m also over-hated.

dude – blt has gigs! just look at his website!

he has a show this april 26, 2006, at Dagny’s Coffee ffee Co. (actual quote), in Bakersfield, California!

Oh, the frothing masses that will be there – I mean come on! He was rated above prince in some random top 50 list produced by some nobody that no-one has heard of!

Oh wait. April 26th 2006 was last year.

btw – I must say that the good Dr. takes a beating pretty well.

I wonder if he thinks he is like Dr. John. I saw Dr. John once, and he hobbled out to the piano on a cane, then played the hell out of the piano. Now THAT was one hell of a musician. Maybe they’re related.

nevermind.

“I only play for small crowds with large IQs.”

That’s a shame. Those with smaller IQs? Their money’s green, too.

So you only play “warm” rooms. Like I thought. No actual entertainment skills. (And we all know how hard it is to get booked in a coffeehouse!)

If you were better you’d get booked more. If you got booked more you’d be better. And unless there’s the possibility of getting booed, heckled or walked out on you can’t hope to improve. You’re there for the audience, not vice-versa. One would think someone with such a high IQ would have tumbled to this elementary aspect of show business by now.

Unless of course you’re happy as a dilettante idealogue poser. Which is entirely possible.

“Envy me, assholes.”

We do, your asshole is HUUUGE.

I only play for small crowds with large IQs.

Flatterer.

There are reasons many of you think my performances are few and far in between one another. Most of my performances go unannounced until the last minute and only VIP guests are invited. The whole thing is a rather low-profile affair in order for security to be able to more efficiently manage the crowds.

For those who continue to doubt, here is proof that I perform live:
http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/Content?oid=oid%3A6375

Yes, it’s in the street, but where else would you expect a song pimp to do his song pimping? After all, that’s where I got discovered for my stint on MTV. You can find that Cake video anywhere on the net.

And in terms of the comparison to Jimi Hendrix in the Headline, I remonstrantly and modestly disaffirm that correlation, as I have remonstrantly and modestly disavowed statements like “better, and much younger than Neil Young,” “a young Bob Dylan,” “a young Mick Jagger, but much more intelligent,” “a Billy Corgan, but with a better voice,” and “Justin Timberlake, but with a sense of rhythm.”

“Most of my performances go unannounced until the last minute and only VIP guests are invited. The whole thing is a rather low-profile affair in order for security to be able to more efficiently manage the crowds.”

I remonstrantably disavow the veracitaciousness of this particular correspondenceship.

That wasn’t nice what Karl Rove II said about LooShrimpy.

Plus Annie’s ass is HUGE. Plus, she has tranny legs.

I followed your link, doc – interesting!

Going by the stage name Dr. B.L.T., singing and playing his guitar for spare change most weekday mornings outside Noah’s Bagels on J Street, he seems to be just another down-on-his-luck artist trying to scrape by.

So a lot’s changed in the nearly six years since that was written, if your security folks are having to efficiently manage crowds.

People have this idea of who you are, and when they find out differently, it blows away their stereotypes and frees their minds.

How do you reconcile this with singing blast-fax talking points?

“How do you reconcile this with singing blast-fax talking points?”

Some things were not meant to be figured out, but rather, simply accepted.

Okay, I’m not going to torture any of you anymore by holding out on my release of the Anna Nicole song. My drummer failed to show up for the session so my sax player had to fill in, but what the sax player cum drummer loses in terms of precision, he more than makes up for with passion.

Hole in the Soul of Anna Nicole
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr. BLT (c) 2007
http://www.drblt.net/music/AnaNicole.mp3

Is the plan to trap Dr BLT in a single comment thread working?

I think it is.

BLT, I’m guessing that your acoustic guitar is a crappy Ovation with a plastic back, and that instead of micing it, you are going direct into whatever cheap digital multitrack you’re recording on. This is a perfect formula for a sound that mostly resembles ass. Here are a few tips:

1. Go buy a real, professional guitar. Martins are very nice, as are most Gibsons. They’re a little pricey, but well worth it. Look into a Gibson J-45 or a Hummingbird. Martin makes a dreadnought that sounds pretty good for about $500.

2. Do NOT use the pickup on the guitar. Go and get a small-diaphragm condenser mic, like an AKG C451 or a Shure SM81. Aim the mic at the point where the body of your guitar meets the fretboard. Large-diaphragm condensers work well too; I’ve gotten good results with the Shure KSM32.

3. You also may want to invest in a nice pre-amp rather than using the cheap preamps that come with your multitrack machine. FMR Audio makes a pretty good one called the RNP, or Really Nice Preamp.

4. You’re still going to suck. There’s nothing you can do about that. But at least you will suck in a marginally more sonically pleasing manner.

I used a Martin D-10. No mic. I went direct. Notwithstanding the insult at the end (I understand——you didn’t what the others to know that you actually believe in me) and the sloppy guess on the guitar, that’s the closest thing to cosntructive criticism I’ve received here.

I’ve got to go teach a class now, but it’s been great chatting with all of you.

The sour grapes were sweet. Music to my ears.

I’m not familiar with the Martin D-10… Did you mean Washburn? Washburn makes a guitar called the D-10, and that would make sense, because the Washburn D-10 is a piece of crap. Washburn D-10s are actually very common.

If you were able to actually make a Martin guitar sound that shitty, that is a truly remarkable achievement. Anyway, never run acoustic guitars direct in the studio. There is no pro engineer in the world who would record that way.

“The sour grapes were sweet”.

The Fox and the Grapes is a fable attributed to Aesop. The fox, upon failing to find a way to reach grapes hanging high up on a vine, retreats saying: “The grapes are sour anyway!”. The moral is stated at the end of the fable as:

It is easy to despise what you cannot get.

It is not about jealousy, it’s about rationalization. See, we’ve had the grapes. We’re not guessing. They really do suck.

It is not about jealousy, it’s about rationalization. See, we’ve had the grapes. We’re not guessing. They really do suck.

I love how if you think Dr. BLT sucks, you are automatically jealous of him.

I’m playing a sold-out show tonight at one of the most famous venues in rock history, yet the Sammich will still claim that I am jealous of his musical “career” and that’s why I’m so compelled to remind him of how much he sucks.

I have to admit, I love tormenting him, in a cat-batting-a-mouse-around kind of way.

Dude, everybody’s jealous of the nutter in the corner of the coffeehouse!

I’ve actually learned to like JK47. It’s a Martin D-10, JK47, the one that appears with me in the MTV-award-nominated music video for Cake’s Short Skirt/Long Jacket. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a piece of crap. I have a cheap Yamaha that has a better tone. It is one of the cheaper Martins but it’s still a piece of crap.

Actually, I’m starting to think you’re a cool dude, JK47 and that’s going to ruin everything. When you started to offer constructive criticism, I began to believe that you believed in me, and that ruined the whole cat and mouse game. I no longer think you’re jealous. I now believe that you simply give a damn and want me to be at my best.

Goatboy, I’ve never doubted for a moment that you are jealous, but I don’t blame you for your jealousy. I would be jealous of me to if I were you, but I’m not really as great as the critics make me out to be, so please, don’t feel threatened by any of that talk from the critics. As long as you’re around, there will be plenty of sour grapes to munch on.

Oh, noes!!1!!! Dear, sweet Jeebus, D. Aristophanes, what have you done‽‽‽

Your troll fu grows tiresome. At this point I don’t think they’re even grapes. They look like raisins. They could be rabbit turds.

/super jealous
//click my name
///cold steady pimpin

It doesn’t matter, whatever you throw at me will be grist for my musical mill. I make lemonade out of lemons and fertilizer out of your “rabbit turds.” You used to be a lot meaner, GoatBoy. What happened to you? Did you find Jesus? Perhaps Jesus found you. JK47, thanks again for going beyond your initial feelings of transparent jealousy, and for believing in me enough to offer me sound advice, and tough love.

BTW, hi, Marq. Didn’t mean to ignore you. Goodnight everyone.

JK47, thanks again for going beyond your initial feelings of transparent jealousy, and for believing in me enough to offer me sound advice, and tough love.

BLT, you are a funny dude. I’ve done nothing but insult you out of the gate, and you’ve constructed this narrative about how I was jealous but then saw the error of my ways and decided to “believe in you.” If you really look closely, you’ll see that everything I said is a slight variation of the theme “you suck.” You would make a great third-world dictator. You can turn anything anybody says into a compliment.

Oh, come on, JK47. Just look at his career.

In 2001:
“Going by the stage name Dr. B.L.T., singing and playing his guitar for spare change most weekday mornings outside Noah’s Bagels on J Street, he seems to be just another down-on-his-luck artist trying to scrape by.”

And then in 2006:
Dagny’s Coffee ffee [sic] Co.

In five years he managed to get inside a building! You can’t tell me you don’t feel a little twinge at this man’s meteoric rise.

Bwahahahahahahah! (Okay, so I almost got through it with a straight face.)

If “you suck” = “tough love”, then there must be a whole lotta secret Dubya lovin’ going on around here.

I think I’m gonna barf.

I think I’m about to change my opinion. Not about the music, but on the person. I was surprised by reading through that article from 2001 that the “Dr.” in “Dr. Turkey and Swiss on Wheat with a Deli-Style Pickle” is actually an earned degree. And yet, he’s only managed to come up with one published paper that I could find since his thesis publication back in 1990, and none from this millenium, and is practically invisible even as a teaching professor. I can understand finding solace from these failures in music (obviously a long-standing passion), even bad music. And probably not having anyone close to him on which he can inflict his creations upon, he turns to us for the attention–good or bad doesn’t matter.

Perhaps it’s because I’m a graduate student in the (hard) sciences that I find this quite pitiable. He’s the Willy Loman of Academia.

Attention must be paid!

I’ll take the pity, Shandy. I’ll take sour grapes in any form whatsover. Jesus turned water into wine. With a little help from Jesus, I can surely take a sour grape and make it sweet.

But today, I’m not in the mood to become narcissistically self-absorbed. I’m not in the mood to cry about being woefully shut out of the Grammys. Let’s take a moment of pause from our whining and crying and our feelings of jealousy towards the sandwich Doc to reflect on a broader issue of concern to loving liberals and compassionate conservatives all across the world:

Homeless Valentine
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT (c)2007
http://www.drblt.net/music/HomelezVal.mp3

Perhaps it’s because I’m a graduate student in the (hard) sciences that I find this quite pitiable. He’s the Willy Loman of Academia.

Heh. So Tristram – if you wanted to pick up a quick psych Ph.D. once you’re done with the current degree, I think you’ve found a dissertation subject. Maybe you could even pull off one of those interdisciplinary mashups combining it with English Lit.

(I’m a grad in the sciences too. Fun, innit?)

Misused idiom pointed out and explained then deliberately misused again = fourth-rate troll hackery.

You’ve blown it, Dr. Sammich. You lose teh intarnetz tubes. Good day sir.

I said good day!

Good day to you, Goatboy. It’s a kinder, gentler Goatboy, and for that, I’ll be forever “graprefull.”

Happy Valentines Day to all of the silent majority here who secretly and silently shout my praises, and to the decidedly more vocal, bearers of tough love, and all varieties of exotic sour grapes.

You are all my most beloved fans, because you keep it real, reluctant though you may be as you kick, scream and drag your feet to this thread that has mysteriously evolved into a Sandwich doc shrine. I’m also a fan of all of you, but I will be existing soon. I have important work to catch up on and TK47, and his reluctant faith in me and my music has inspired me to write and record more songs, aimed at seamlessly integrating his sound advice.

“I’m also a fan of all of you, but I will be existing soon.”

Dare to dream, Doc.

Those are inspiring words, GoatBoy. I will take them to heart. Shall I take this as a sign that you are also moving beyond your transparent jealousy and are now eager to see me succeed?

Doc, you just keep telling yourself people are jealous of you. Because you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and, doggonit, people like you; you are not one bit passive-aggressive or delusional! Hypomania? Never heard of it!

Great to hear from you tigrismis. As a psychologist, one of the things I’ve learned is that, while clinical terms may be useful for diagnostic purposes and for treatment planning, that is, for shrinks to make sense of and organize their caseloads, they do very little in adding to our knowledge of the individual as a person.

However, I will try to indulge you so as not to be dismissive of your questions. My answer would be contained in the song that should have won over the Dixie Chicks for Song of the Year (or something to that effect). It is the song, Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. I would suggest that if you listen to the song and pay close attention to the lyrics, you will find your answer.

I don’t know why I am actually supplying you with a serious answer, given the transparent jealousy that emerges upon a close examination of your question. Not only will I take your sour grapes and make them sweet, I will turn the sweetened grapes into wine and I will toast to your good fortune and mine.

100

101. That’s one better than yours.

I could have grabbed that number too while I was at it, RIghteous Bubba, but that would have been greedy, so, out of courtesy and consideration, I left it for you.

Heh. So Tristram – if you wanted to pick up a quick psych Ph.D. once you’re done with the current degree, I think you’ve found a dissertation subject. Maybe you could even pull off one of those interdisciplinary mashups combining it with English Lit.

I think I’ve already got my hands full with the interdisciplinary stuff. I’m doing a double major of vocal performance (opera) with a degree in biology. I don’t know where this is going, but I have hopes of either taking comprimario roles (the “bit parts” of opera) at a local company while working as a scientist or, alternatively, pursuing a career as a singer and then doing biology to whatever degree possible, probably theoretical biology and popular science writing.

(I’m a grad in the sciences too. Fun, innit?)

It has its moments. I just finished an experiment which, unfortunately, started coming to a close just as I was appearing in our university’s opera company production of Les Contes d’Hoffmann. Talk about stress and a half. Many nights, I’d wrap up about half past ten at night and go back to the lab for another three or four hours. Not to mention, in order to do both opera and biology at a high level, I’ve come out “to the land of the ice and snow” from San Diego.

I’ll take the pity, Shandy. I’ll take sour grapes in any form whatsover.

As you have already been told, the story of the Fox and the Grapes has nothing whatsover to do with jealousy–it’s about rationalization. It’s more applicable to you than to us, unless you’re just having us on, and really don’t believe your crap. But I think you’ve invested so much of yourself in trying to establish a name anywhere that you regard this as your last shot, and will marshall all your defenses of rationalization and sheer delusion to maintain that fiction. Just like Willy Loman told all those lies about his great successes on the road, shilling for merchandise.

Jesus turned water into wine. With a little help from Jesus, I can surely take a sour grape and make it sweet.

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but Jesus is dead.

(He’s doing it on purpose. He thinks, as a trolling tactic, it’s as clever as his lyrics are. He’s exactly right.)

What I have acheived as a singer/songwriter is modest. My cameo on the MTV-Video-Music-Awards-nominated-top-hit music video really had very little to do with me, and more to do with the band, Cake.

The good-to-great critical reviews and national airplay on Right-wingers Need Love Too, and the song from that CD most frequently praised, Merle Hasn’t Lost His Fightin’ Side, from that CD was fine, but it certainly didn’t win any Grammy awards and it didn’t spawn any top hits.

I’ve only had two hit songs, one reaching #1 and the other, #21 on charts other than Billboard. The only radio station that I know right now that’s playing my stuff on a regular basis is WFMU in New York.

I’m not a big star. At best, I’ve got a steadily burgeoning underground cult following. Yet for some unknown reason, this modicum of success is ostensibly perceived by some who have been vocal here as unattainable—-like the grapes that were too high to reach in the famous tale, so the modicum of success is deemed sour by the transparently jealous souls who cannot seem to reach even this modest level.

I don’t hold the rationalization or the jealousy against any of you among the vocal majority. And at least one of you has gone beyond that transparent jealousy, offering tough love in the form of constructive criticism.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but Jesus is dead.”

He certainly is not. I just talked to him this morning.

Sorry——-“vocal majority” above should read, “vocal minority.” If you were the majority, Sadly No would be a virtual ghost town.

And by the way, I just noticed that WFMU has officially debuted my bittersweet “tribute” to Anna Nicole Smith on their blog site:

http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2007/02/mp3_truffles_re.html

I guess the “sucky” parts of the song were not enough for them to dismiss it altogether.

Yet for some unknown reason, this modicum of success is ostensibly perceived by some who have been vocal here as unattainable—-like the grapes that were too high to reach in the famous tale,

And there you go wrong in your analysis. I don’t think anyone holds that these things are unattainable. In fact, you’ve attained them. You can’t resist telling us how you’ve attained them (even to the extent of lying about these so-called achievements’ provenance, as when you claimed that your song was #1 on a USA Today music chart).

And one of the people criticizing you is a professional musician with a much higher profile than you.

I freely admit that these ‘achievements’ are unattainable for myself, for the simple reason that I’m not ever going to try to attain them. My field of music is an entirely different kind.

so the modicum of success is deemed sour by the transparently jealous souls who cannot seem to reach even this modest level.

Yes, but again you are wrong. It is not the modicum of success which is deemed sour, it is that your very minimal successes do not warrant the overweening arrogance you routinely display.

I don’t hold the rationalization or the jealousy against any of you among the vocal majority. And at least one of you has gone beyond that transparent jealousy, offering tough love in the form of constructive criticism.

Would that be the person who actually has a gold record to his credit? Yeah, I’m sure he must have sleepless nights dreaming of the successes of Dr. Reuben on Marbled Rye Hold the Thousand Island Dressing, a man who was as of six years ago (and probably after) busking for spare change in front of a Bakersfield bagel shop.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but Jesus is dead.�

He certainly is not. I just talked to him this morning.

So that’s your problem: mere delusion!

“You can’t resist telling us how you’ve attained them (even to the extent of lying about these so-called achievements’ provenance, as when you claimed that your song was #1 on a USA Today music chart).”

Apparently, I made a mistake, and you assumed that I was lying—Another feeble, transparent effort to discredit me. Sour grapes once again. My mistake turned out to be to my advantage because rather than being associated with a newspaper covering world affairs and not specializing in music, it appears that the chart is affiliated with Neil Young and his peeps. Of course this is my guess, but it’s hard to know exactly who was ultimately responsible for putting the chart together. In any case, your focus on the source was ostensibly a diversion to distract visitors from my moderate success.

“And one of the people criticizing you is a professional musician with a much higher profile than you.”

That doesn’t make him God does it? You can be a great musician, and a mediocre critic, especially when sour grapes find their way into the fruit salad.

“I freely admit that these ‘achievements’ are unattainable for myself, for the simple reason that I’m not ever going to try to attain them. My field of music is an entirely different kind.”

They why compare apples and oranges, or, in this case, apples and sour grapes?

“Would that be the person who actually has a gold record to his credit? Yeah, I’m sure he must have sleepless nights dreaming of the successes of Dr. Reuben on Marbled Rye Hold the Thousand Island Dressing, a man who was as of six years ago (and probably after) busking for spare change in front of a Bakersfield bagel shop.”

It’s a mystery to me as much as it is to you. And, BTW, it wasn’t the Streets of Bakersfield where I was “busking for spare change.” It was Sacramento. For a man so obsessed with minutia, I’m surprised you got that confused.

“So that’s your problem: mere delusion!”

A little knowledge can be dangerous. You can’t out-shrink a shrink!

I was looking for a few more sour grapes to gather because I’m facing a long weekend and I want to make some sweet wine so I can celebrate in style. Thanks for not witholding those from me. I’ll be eternally “grapefull.”

Apparently, I made a mistake, and you assumed that I was lying—Another feeble, transparent effort to discredit me.

No, I didn’t assume, I concluded that you were lying. What else can one say about someone who claims to think that “Living with War Today” is “USA Today”?

Sour grapes once again. My mistake turned out to be to my advantage because rather than being associated with a newspaper covering world affairs and not specializing in music, it appears that the chart is affiliated with Neil Young and his peeps.

????

Seriously. I’m gobsmacked. How does that give you an advantage?

Of course this is my guess, but it’s hard to know exactly who was ultimately responsible for putting the chart together. In any case, your focus on the source was ostensibly a diversion to distract visitors from my moderate success.

Yes, I should talk about your so-called success every time I speak. You, you, you, all the time. Man, but you have an ego. Heaven forfend that I actually point out that your vaunted ‘success’ is based on an obvious lie.

That doesn’t make him God does it?

No, for one thing JK47 exists.

They why compare apples and oranges, or, in this case, apples and sour grapes?

Where on earth did get the idea I was comparing myself to you? Believe me, if I ever had cause to make a comparison, I would make it to someone who a) sings in the same manner I do, and b) doesn’t suck. If I had to make a comparison, I would say my voice sounds like Cesare Valletti, but bigger (Valletti was a lyric tenor).

It’s a mystery to me as much as it is to you.

But it isn’t a mystery to me at all. There’s a simple answer: he’s not jealous of you and nobody here has ever been jealous of you.

And, BTW, it wasn’t the Streets of Bakersfield where I was “busking for spare change.� It was Sacramento. For a man so obsessed with minutia, I’m surprised you got that confused.

I can tell you how. I simply don’t care about what you do, either then or now. Nor do most of the people here, which is why your self-aggrandizement is both absurd and unwelcome.

A little knowledge can be dangerous. You can’t out-shrink a shrink!

Yes, but I’ve already drunk deep of the Pierian spring. I even have more publications than you do, and I’m just a grad student working on my master’s.

I was looking for a few more sour grapes to gather because I’m facing a long weekend and I want to make some sweet wine so I can celebrate in style.

My congratulations if you could manage it; it would be a feat rivalling the transmutation of lead into gold (and if you had those kinds of transformative powers, why can’t you do something about your music?). If you had something to celebrate legitimately, you should try something like Château d’Yquem, Pétrus, or Cheval Blanc.

“I even have more publications than you do, and I’m just a grad student working on my master’s.”

“Where on earth did get the idea I was comparing myself to you?”

I may be better off just juxtaposing your stark contradictions. If I just let you ramble on, in the end, you will lose the argument between you and yourself.

On the other hand, we could end this right now by you uttering one simple word: “UNCLE!”

“so the modicum of success is deemed sour by the transparently jealous souls who cannot seem to reach even this modest level.”

That modest level is squarely in my rear view mirror. I play to more people in a night than you’ve played for in the last two years. Your pitiful argument falls.

(Though I must say you are the most clever troll I’ve ever seen. Also we’re on usenet and it’s 1995.)

Congratulations, GoatBoy, then you’ve played for more than five people. Like the Dr BLTune goes: I Can Count My Fans (On One Hand). On the other hand, though they may be few in number, their IQs go right through the roof.

Remember: Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are. On the other hand, they may be sneaking up on you faster than you think. Ahhhhhhhh yes, usenet, 1995, I remember it well.

BTW, you still haven’t told me the secret to your transformation to this kinder, gentler GoatBoy.

GoatBoy, I know that you’ve battle weary from your feeble attempts to slice up the Sandwich Doc. Just say the word. It’s not hard at all:

Just say, “UNCLE!”

How about it, both of you? Just say, “Uncle.” A second or two of humility could save you from an eternity of being outshined by the Sandwich Doc. No matter how you slice it, your arguments can’t stack up to mine.

Goddamn that’s a lot of stupid in one place. You’re one busy guy.

Stupid is as stupid does. Obviously you and TS will cast negative aspersions on anything I say or do. The two of you suffer from selective pessimism. You see yourselves in an overwhelmingly favorable light, and me, in an overwhelmingly unfavorable, negative light, or rather, in impentatrable darkness.

I would not expect anything but calumnious, perjorative expressions in your characterization of me, because you are not capable of seeking out or finding anything of value in me, given your selectively pessimistic perspective.

On the other hand, I am an unflappable optimist. I generally look for the good in others, and when they are intent on maligning me in sinister fashion, I quietly and compassionately, but never sadistically, watch them self-destruct.

Jesus teaches me to love my enemies and to take what is intended for evil, and make it good. I consider you and TS my friends, but you insist on being my enemies. Yet, no matter how many sour grapes you feed me, I will make them sweet, and turn the sweet grapes into sweet wine. I will then draw sublime pleasure from drinking—-even shamelessly guzzling that very wine.

So, the way I see it, when you ridicule me, you are merely holding up a mirror to yourself. Now you can either live a life of denial, and rob yourself of the experience of soul-searching as you look into that mirror, or you can take a good, long look in that mirror and make the changes that will back you both nicer people. When you finally say good-bye to bullying innocent trolls, out of transparent jealousy, you will experience an overwhelming sense of relief and self-satisfaction.

The end result will be the two of you humbly capitulating to me. But since that would involve humility, and since I am not the type of person to demand subservience, I will withdraw my insistent request that you call me “uncle.” A simple truce will save face for the two of you, and allow you a way of existing in this blog community without looking even more like total fools. How about it fellas? Truce? Besides, we’ve gone way off topic. It is exceedingly rude to the person who posts the threads to carry on in a cicumlocutory, pell-mell manner.
If you look at the title of the thread, it has to do with me being shut out at the Grammys.

Indeed you should have won as the Grammys regularly reward banal mediocrity.

(And WFMU is making fun of you. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you make it into heavy rotation shoehorned between the Shaggs and Jandek.)

Thanks for getting us back on topic GoatBoy. If KFMU is making fun of me, GoatBoy, then more power to them. More sour grapes shall be turned sweet and more sweet wine shall be made, and more celebrations shall be had. Maybe I’ll even hold a wine-tasting event. No such thing as bad publicity.

I tried to read between the lines of your comment, to see if you were trying to say “uncle,” without really saying it, and it seems you were. Am I reading too much into your comment?

I’ve got chunks of songs better than yours in my stool. Read into that whatever your delusion compels you to.

You must have been eating solid gold. Too bad you’re so musically constipated, or you might find yourself with some big hits.

I wonder who the real delusional one is here. GoatBoy seems to think he shits caviar and pisses champagne.

Only in comparison, sock puppet.

The term “stool” refers to waste already expelled. One would expect a doctor to be more precise in his terminology. Would that some of BLT’s cheesy monomania should serve to plug up his raisinhole, and soon!

I like to play the drums. I think I’m getting good but I can handle criticism. I’ll show what I know and you can tell me if you think I’m getting better on the drums. I’ll leave the front door unlocked ’cause I can’t hear the doorbell.

This BLT cat’s mater fucked him up, but good!

Did somebody say Mom?

No pill’s gonna cure his ill. He’s got a bad case of lovin the sound of his own voice.

He’s in the wrong place and it surely is the wrong time.

Did somebody say pills?

The steam’s rising off this cat’s latest fresh pile of song.

He’s got the flibble flizoo and the blizzum blazzum. But he ain’t got the jazz.

Looks like I struck a nerve. Sorry, whoever you are. I didn’t mean to offend you. I can see nobody is not ready to make nice with the Sandwich doc, so I think it’s time I packed my doctor’s bag and moved on.

In other words, there are too many “docs” in the “clinic.” A “paradox” would have been plenty. Now there will be one less, and I don’t plan to return for at least a year, maybe two. It’s been sweet!

I happen to like the Dixie Chicks and I say proudly I voted for the president and continue to support him…..these are two different things—one has nothing to do with the other—everybody jumps on the bandwagon when a politician is out of favor or an entertainer does something to annoy a lot of people—-…..I do neither—-the chicks have good music—-and I believe—even though the majority do not—-that history (sadly) will prove the president is right—meanwhile thank God we live in a country that let’s all of us have a voice—–Kathy

Dr. BLT,

If you ever get tired of performing mediocre music badly, talk to me about franchising options.

If you ever get tired of sour grapes, I’ve got plenty of fresh, sweet ones in my refridgerator.

You may be right about history proving the President right, and I admire your unwavering support for him. Of late, mine has been tepid, at best. As for your unwavering support for the Dixie Chicks, well, that’s another matter altogether. Their music is not my style, but I don’t think it’s too bad. Furthermore, I have nothing against celebrities having an opinion about the war, (although Natalie has never expressed her opinion in a very tactful, intelligent, and coherent manner). Nevertheless, what happened at the Grammys seems to me to be an example of:

Playin’ Politics with the Dixie Chicks
Dr. BLT (c)2007
http://www.drblt.net/music/DixieChicks.mp3

It’s awful hard to miss you if you won’t go.

Going, going……………gone.

Oh, I’m sorry. I almost forgot to drop a rough sneak preview sample of my brand new Dixie Chicks tribute:

Not Ready to Make Rice
Dr BLT & the Pixie Stix
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2007
http://www.drblt.net/music/RiceSamp.mp3

Mmm…I think it needs a little soy sauce:

Not Ready to Make Rice
(Dr BLT’s Dixie Chicks Nix Mix)
Words and music by Dr. BLT ©2007
http://www.drblt.net/music/NotReady2P.mp3

I can’t believe this thread is still going. If I knew it was going to be this kind of party, I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes.

No mashed potatoes here, only rice. The party has only gotten started. I thought my attackers had given up. I was about to declare victory, and leave with the spoils of my labor (mostly a big stack of sour grapes), but now I know I’m going to need to prepare for a surge.

I say, I just heard a jackass saying something!

Drinking in the morning, holler in the evening.

This sandwich guy makes me look competent.

This thread is actually all contained in my autistic son’s snow globe.

Good evening “doctors.” The real doctor is IN! You are all posers, just like Dr. Dre. Nevertheless, I’m going to allow you to live out your fantasy because I know you would really love to be a doctor just like me. I take it as a compliment actually, a form of flattery. But let me remind all of you that this thread is the bridge they built for me to live under. It is my new home. I now live here. So as long as all of you are visiting my troll shelter, you will pay your toll in the form of respect.

Have I made myself abundantly clear?

I’ll respectfully slap your ear for you.

As long as it represents a show of respect, I can accept that.

I’m shitting on your head. In my culture, it is a sign of the utmost respect.

You’re not the only one I’ve ever had. And if I say I wanna set you free, don’t you know you’ll be in misery?

I’ve got one thing you’ll understand, BLT’s not what you’d call a glamorous man.

Doctor D done boxed your ears but your mind’s still slippin’ gears. And we’re cryin’.

JK47, that explains why you’re full of what you’re full of. Let’s just say that you must have received lots of respect where you come from. As for all of you other doctors———physicians, heal thyselves.

This human’s mimicry of musical forms, while an amusing diversion, is no evidence of actual sentience.

As long as it’s an “amusing diversion” it has entertainment value.

Like ze clown.

Without clowns, who would want to go to the circus? They’re cruel to the animals, it’s hotter than hell in the arena, and the popcorn really sucks.

(So do the clowns.)

But not as bad as the popcorn.

And it is also true that people can be as cruel to the clowns (and the trolls) as they are to the animals. Of course it usually boils down to a bad case of sour grapes.

Ingesting boiled grapes is a known cause of egotistic monomania.

That’s why I always eat them fresh. Of course most of the grapes I’ve eaten lately have been sour ones, from the likes of you, but I don’t mind them sour either. Boiling is something I wouldn’t recommend. I would recommend rice, if you’re ready for it. I would recommend rice for whatever ails you. This time, I won’t tease you with a mere sample.

You knew a parody of the Dixie Chicks’ Not Ready to Make Nice, was going to happen. It was just a matter of when. Introducing:

Not Ready to Make Rice
(Dixie Chicks Nix Mix)
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2007
http://www.drblt.net/music/MakeRice.mp3

I call my style of commenting blog n roll. I hope you all like my style of commenting. I call it blog n roll.

Severe hearing damage can ensue from listening to the above dreck. Consume at your own risk.

Then what you’re saying is that it’s a deaf jam? While you’re at it, please feel free to take a second helping. And just to add a second warning, there’s plenty more where that came from!

I could remix that “song”. Then it’d be unlistenable shit that you could dance to.

Be my guest. If it gets folks on the dancefloor, it’s got motivational value. On the other hand, after listening to the song again, I must admit, that may be the worst song I’ve ever written and recorded in my entire life. The concept, but, in the end, it turned out to be like a botched batch of rice.

What I meant to say, was “the concept was good”… It was an experiment that went terribly wrong, but you can’t blame me for experimenting. Some of the greatest discoveries come about after a bunch of botched experiments.

Replace half-music Christianist-fluoride poison & talking-points with full-truth, work-speech-press & fileswapping Socialaction! All-One! So, help build 4 billion Hannibal music-box plants, charging 96 billion egomania-banks, powering every mediocre academic & dilettante, feeding Babylon-roof-gardens & 800 billion Israel-Milorganite fruit trees, guarded by Swiss 6000 year Universal Military Training.

Blow your whistle and bang your gong. Roll up something to take along. It feels so good it must be wrong. I’m not ready to bake twice.

Actually, “Not Ready to Make Rice” is beginning to grow on me, and I’ve been getting overwhelmingly favorable comments on the song, which I didn’t expect.

The best form of compliment for a blog n roll artist is that someone who confronts his work, uses that work as a springboard in which to launch into his/her own creative expression. So I won’t put myself in the position of judging your comments. I’ll merely accept them as a compliment and thank you from the bottom of my heart for offering it so freely.

Glossary of terms:
blog n roll: a form of art invented by the humble Dr BLT in which blog threads and blog comments are accompanied by links to original songs that further illustrate the concepts and themes presented in the blog thread or blog comment

See also: Horrible Music

I believe the intended reference was:

Music deemed horrible by horrible ostensibly self-proclaimed critic.

I don’t get it. Could you elaborate?

Just because someone says a given piece of music is horrible, doesn’t make it so. The person judging the music could be horrible at judging music.

Those who judge my music to be good or great are good critics. Those who say it’s horrible say it’s horrible because they are horrible critics. The reason they are horrible critics is not because they are bad people, or because they are idiots. The reason has to do with sour grapes. The sour grapes phenomena serves to cloud their judgment and render their opinions null and void.

” sour grapes phenomena” should read “sour grapes phenomenon”

“Those who judge my music to be good or great are good critics. Those who say it’s horrible say it’s horrible because they are horrible critics…”

…and my mom says I’m the handsomest and smartest boy in the whole school.

Your mom also said that about me. She must be lying to one of us.

The inclusion of ellipses indicates the thought expressed following ellipses is to be added to the quote above it that ends in ellipses making a longer sentence, one ostensibly coming from you and expressing the same delusional sentiment throughout.

Shorter version, for the deluded monomaniacs among us:
If enough people tell you that you suck it’s within the realm of possibility that it’s because you suck. Occam waves hi.

Don’t count on moving your artwork from your mom’s fridge to our walls any time soon, in other words.

Slander. My boy played me some of your tracks. You are neither handsome nor smart. It may be said in all fairness that you suck at music. And at internet trolling. And most likely life itself.

Too lame even for my show. Fail.

Who is this clown that can’t understand the moral of a simple fable?

“The reason has to do with sour grapes. The sour grapes phenomena serves to cloud their judgment and render their opinions null and void.”

Please explain. What do grapes have to do with how you make music out of equal parts suck and fail?

“If enough people tell you that you suck it’s within the realm of possibility that it’s because you suck. Occam waves hi.”

Not enough people have told me that I suck yet. There have been merely a few, and those are the vocal minority of listeners. Moreover, this minority is made up of folks who suffer from the sour grapes phenomenon, which renders their opinions dubious at best.

“Slander. My boy played me some of your tracks. You are neither handsome nor smart. It may be said in all fairness that you suck at music. And at internet trolling. And most likely life itself.”

Since your boy identified himself as “Dr. Delusional,” do you suppose he may have inherited his predilection for delusions from you? Besides what do antediluvian, declasse moms know about what’s cool anyways?

Me: The reason has to do with sour grapes. The sour grapes phenomena serves to cloud their judgment and render their opinions null and void.

“Please explain. What do grapes have to do with how you make music out of equal parts suck and fail?”

I do not make music out of equal parts suck and fail. The parts are not equal at all. I consistently fail more than I suck. You, on the other hand suck equally at critiquing my music, and failing to see the beauty in the music. Why? I can only put forth admittedly unproven, but highly plausable, hypotheses.

It is because you assume you could never be as good (which you could, to a degree, if you only practiced more) and so you call my work the equivalent of “sour grapes,” in a pitiful effort to reconcile your transparent cognitive dissonance and to mollify the jealous rage you feel. I say this as a regular guy, and as a victim of sour grapes, not in a professional capacity.

“You, on the other hand suck equally at critiquing my music, and failing to see the beauty in the music…It is because you assume you could never be as good (which you could, to a degree, if you only practiced more) and so you call my work the equivalent of “sour grapes,â€? in a pitiful effort to reconcile your transparent cognitive dissonance and to mollify the jealous rage you feel.”

Click my name right up there, Smugley. I have songs in my garbage can better than your best.

Before I even bother to check out what you’ve got in that garbage can of yours, please tell me that you’re a better musician than you are a critic of my music. If you tell me that your music is no better than your ability to critique my music, then I would be wasting my time. Otherwise I be delighted to dig through the garbage. Or, if you’d like to make it even easier, simply say, “UNCLE!”

“please tell me that you’re a better musician than you are a critic of my music.”

Impossible to improve. You’ve made clear right in this thread that good critics pat you on the head and tell you’re good and talented and clever and any critic that doesn’t is a jealous bad critic.

The garbage can contains the bad songs. See, when I write bad ones I don’t share them. I suppose if I only wrote bad ones I’d have fewer options and have to let everybody hear every sub-sub-Weird Al parody I was able to extrude from my nether orifice. Fortunately for myself and the public at large, I write good ones. You can click the name up there to find out. Maybe you can show me what a good critic you are yourself (using the same criteria you use to evaluate your critics of course).

Maybe I’ll pen a quick “Not ready to shake mice” and send it off to you. If I drank a fifth of scotch in a house that had a carbon monoxide leak and clobbered my head with a brick before I started it’d still turn out better than your best.

Now that’s what I call the paragon of sour-grapes-sarcasm. If you are as good at songwriting and recording as you are at such “sour-grapes-sarcasm” then you must be very good indeed.

The problem is, I may never find out for sure, because to convince me that it is worth my time and effort to seek out your tunes, I must first be assured that you are a better musician than you are a critic of my songs.

To be a good critic of my songs, you don’t have to bow down and worship the ground I walk on. You merely have to give up the sour grapes. Of course, I won’t insist that you do that, because I’m enjoying the challenge of taking those sour grapes, sweetening them, and making wine out of them.

Wow, GoatBoy, you are a much better singer/songwriter than you are a critic of my music. Hmm. Cartoon Hearts and Neighbor Lady——-those are kind of growing on me. I could wind up becoming a fan of my harshest critic. Seriously, I really like what I’ve sampled of your stuff so far.

You’re an excellent critic.

Thank you. Of course you didn’t say “music critic” so that means the term extends beyond my ability to critique music. So I rate your music high (at least what I have heard of it), but your skills as a critic of my music low.

The main problem with your skills as a music critic (or lack thereof), is that apparently, you don’t know how to or refuse to offer constructive criticism. Your comments are dismissed because there is a mean-spiritedness to the tone of your delivery.

You look for the bad and not the good. To be a good critic, you must look for both, and deliver both—you don’t withold the good. And you acknowledge variation in the quality, or even lack thereof in the subject of your criticism. In other words, even if you feel that, overall, an artist is lacking in talent, you acknowledge the songs that are better and the songs that are worse and you spell out in specific terms what makes some songs better and others, worse.

If somebody has such a passion for music that it is a lost cause to try to get them to give it up, your best bet is to point out specific ways that they can improve, and present it to them in a way that is constructive and not insulting.

By the way, for those who are still tuned in to the comments beneath this blog thread, check out GoatBoy’s music. It’s great stuff, and I’d recommend it to one and all!

“Your comments are dismissed because there is a mean-spiritedness to the tone of your delivery.”

It matches the spirit of the material being criticized and is therefore an apt rhetorical device. You alienate half of your potential audience with your hamfisted polemics and have the nerve to be offended that half of your potential audience is alienated. That’s some Grade-A delusion right there.

And I’ve in fact given you specific guidelines to improve your material and performance. You choose to ignore it. It involves putting your ass in front of crowds that may not be necessarily inclined to think you’re cute and clever and learning how to entertain them in spite of that. Play more for more people under circumstances that could possibly lead to your being booed, heckled and/or walked out on. You’ll figure out in short order what your strengths are, what material works and what aspects of your act suck runny shit. Rarely will a “boo” be followed by an essay explaining why. And even if it were it’s rarer still that debating the issue would yield any better results than the terrible act did itself.

And besides all this, you’re just a troll with recording equipment and as such receive here exactly the reception of which a troll with recording equipment is worthy. When you act like a jerk (no matter how passive/aggressively you do it) it is unseemly to pout about why people aren’t nicer to you.

“You alienate half of your potential audience with your hamfisted polemics and have the nerve to be offended that half of your potential audience is alienated. That’s some Grade-A delusion right there.”

Where did you pull that claim out of? Who is the delusional one here (and I ask that rhetorical question as a regular guy, not in a professional capacity). What evidence are you using to support the claim that I’ve alienated half my potential audience?

In addition to being a terrible critic of my music, you’re also not very good at receiving even the most constructive of criticism, which is all I’ve offered you. You come across as a mean-spirited, bitter, arrogant bully. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been gracious enough to provide you with such feedback.

With a little, or perhaps alot of help from your friends, you’ve put together a few pretty good tunes. Perhaps you feel that this justifies your sense of entitlement, and your sense that the world should be paying more attention to your music.

But everybody knows that pride comes before a fall, and if you continue to be arrogant, you won’t be successful as an artist, no matter how good your music may sound.

Being a good musician doesn’t simply mean being technically and musically precise and being able to produce music that is pleasing to the ear. It also involves having great stage presence and being able to establish rapport with your audience.

With the conspicuous lack of interpersonal skills and with the predictable lack of graciousness you’ve displayed in your comments, I doubt if you are really capable of connecting with your audience.

You are just an arrogant guy with recording equipment who knows how to use that recording equipment, and gets pleasure out of attacking trolls.

What do you do on these songs, anyway? I’ve pointed out that you’ve got some good, even some great material posted. But who does what on these songs? Is it all, or mostly you? Do you play a central role, or is your role simply peripheral?

“When you act like a jerk (no matter how passive/aggressively you do it) it is unseemly to pout about why people aren’t nicer to you.”

I’m not pouting about “people.” People are generally very nice to me. You are the exception to the rule. Look at your posted comments above. Haven’t you just revealed that your heartless, arrogant attacks are based more on my polemics and on your impression of me as someone acting like a jerk, an impression that you are very much alone in holding?

Many folks see me in just the opposite light. Most people would not bother to carry on with a person as insulting and arrogant as you. They would return your mean-spirited arrogance with comments of the same ugly nature. You can’t accept constructive criticism or my polite deflection of your destructive criticism, so you label my kindness and graciousness as “passive-agrressive.”

Go back and look and your comments and compare them to mine. If you do that, and if you do that honestly, you will discover who the real jerk has been.

“What evidence are you using to support the claim that I’ve alienated half my potential audience“?

Your “Why Are All The Stupid Liberals So Stupid?” songs. I am using the evidence you provide.

“You come across as a mean-spirited, bitter, arrogant bully. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been gracious enough to provide you with such feedback.”

Indeed not. Most every troll I’ve ever baited on the internet concurs with that assessment.

“Perhaps you feel that this justifies your sense of entitlement, and your sense that the world should be paying more attention to your music.”

I’m not the one hustling my act in comment threads. If I feel the world should be paying more attention to my music, I just try to book more shows.

“But everybody knows that pride comes before a fall, and if you continue to be arrogant, you won’t be successful as an artist, no matter how good your music may sound.”

You perceive arrogance where I only wished to disabuse you of the notion that you’ve convinced us that you’ve convinced yourself that anybody who tells you how much you stink is jealous of you. I couldn’t possibly be jealous of a dilettante dabbler.

“It also involves having great stage presence and being able to establish rapport with your audience.”

How would you know? Wouldn’t one have to stand on a stage and have an audience in order to find this out?

“With the conspicuous lack of interpersonal skills and with the predictable lack of graciousness you’ve displayed in your comments, I doubt if you are really capable of connecting with your audience.”

All based on my troll-baiting? See, there’s me, there’s my comment thread persona and there’s my stage persona. I’m sure you can identify with the idea of taking on exaggerated traits for online communication. I’d bet the farm on it.

“You are just an arrogant guy with recording equipment who knows how to use that recording equipment, and gets pleasure out of attacking trolls.”

Minus the “arrogant” part, sounds about right.

“What do you do on these songs, anyway? I’ve pointed out that you’ve got some good, even some great material posted. But who does what on these songs? Is it all, or mostly you? Do you play a central role, or is your role simply peripheral?”

I write over half the originals, play rhythm guitar and sing lead more than half the time.

“Haven’t you just revealed that your heartless, arrogant attacks are based more on my polemics and on your impression of me as someone acting like a jerk, an impression that you are very much alone in holding?”

Pal, I’m not even alone in this thread. If your songs weren’t hackneyed re-writings of extant material, if you could sing worth a damn, if you ever had a lyrical idea that wasn’t simply an answer or reaction to another song or current event we wouldn’t be having this conversation at all. But then you’d be more than a troll, which you’ve made plain is the extent of your aspiration.

“Most people would not bother to carry on with a person as insulting and arrogant as you. They would return your mean-spirited arrogance with comments of the same ugly nature. You can’t accept constructive criticism or my polite deflection of your destructive criticism, so you label my kindness and graciousness as “passive-agrressive.â€?”

You are trolling here. It is your stated purpose. You aren’t treating with the people here in good faith. You can kiss both sides of my ass if you don’t like your reception.

Mostly, I sense that you have a compulsion to have the last word and it has provided me mild amusement to deny you that. So thank you for that, Your Graciousness.

Homeless Valentine is not too terrible. The lyrics need some work, the sentiment is awfully close to idealistic 60’s folk rock “Message: I care” pap and it’s almost five minutes long, but the singing is on-key and whoever is playing the guitar fills has some taste.

More like this, less sub-Dr. Demento rewritten lyrics. And get out there and show your ass. Oh, and five minutes is pretty excessive for a song with only one part.

You’re really coming around as a critic. Thanks for the constructive criticism and helpful feedback.

You already know that I think your music rocks, and I think everybody who visits here ought to check it out. Whoever helps you out also deserves some props I’m sure. Consider me a fan. I harbor no ill feelings about the insults either. All of that is just water under my troll bridge 🙂

Thanks. But am I still a Jealous Jealoushead with Jealous Jealousness? Can you drop the “sour grapes” lure? You’ve gotten every bite you can hope to with it by now. It’s played out. (See, more constructive criticism, even for your trolling!)

And you can expect more insults from me for as long as you’re trolling. Trolls are dicks. It’s a job requirement. And there are enough assholes out there in the real world that it’s futile to try to tell every one where to get off. But on the internets trolls get treated like the pricks they are, God bless its every tube.

No, you are not a “Jealous Jealoushead with Jealous Jealousness.”

What’s your definition of a troll? I don’t easily fit into certain definitions of the term. I’ve found that the definition tends to vary from person to person. I’ve probably done a few trollish things in my time that I regret, and am willing and eager to give up. You may say I’m a recovering troll.

I officially drop the sour grapes charge. You’ve found “not guilty by reason of insanity” by a jury of your peers—- namely, me, myself and I. Just kidding with the insanity part. I’m not in a position to determine your level of sanity or insanity. That being said, most musicians I know are at least “a little out there.”

As long as you keep putting out music of the caliber you’re putting out now, I will be a fan, and I will bestow praises upon you for your music. I will probably even pimp your songs for free and refer others to your music site.

Ha ha, I can’t BELIEVE this thread is still going. I haven’t checked back here in like a week, and you guys are still at it. You know, you two are really nuts.

GoatBoy, I enjoyed your songs though. BLT, you still suck.

I’m just having a Turing good time is all.

JK47, don’t get me started. That makes two of you who officially think I suck. Of course, all’s well that ends well, and this looks like the closest thing to a rapprochement that you will see between myself and the glorious GoatBoy, the great artist with a few personality issues to work out (though as you can see, he’s made a modicum of progress).

Of course in your case, JK47, it’s still sour grapes, all because you haven’t seen even this sort of arguably somewhat dubious, if noteworthy, “fame” in your time:

First, there was my first 15 minutes of fame:

http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/Content?oid=oid%3A6375

Of course it would just be a matter of time before my cameo in this MTV-Video-Music-Awards nominated top hit music video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD22kbkkuy8

Then there was the appearance at number one on this chart back in July of 2006
http://www.neilyoung.com/lwwtoday/lwwsongspage.html (now, sadly slipping to #155 (Neil Young (Have You Forgotten), but also declared the #8 best record of 2006 here:
http://www.morethings.com/music/best_songs_2006.htm
and with a new one at #243 and climbing (Merle Hasn’t Lost His Fightin’ Side),

And also the appearance at #21 in December of 2005 with a song called Black Santa on the top 30 mp3 download charts at mp3000.net,

Well, since none of these were Billboard, and, as they said at Sadly No, I was Shut out of the Grammys:
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/5067.html

I am forced to remain unquestionably humble. But as Al Gore’s 2000 presidential campaign theme song by one of Canada’s best suggested:

You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ yet! I’m glad that you believe in me, even though you are loath to admit it. It is much safer in these groupthink circles to say I suck, and thus reduce the risk of public blog flogging. So I understand, and greatly appreciate your constructive criticism and reluctant support for me and my music.

This tiff between Dr. BLT and (what’s his name?), GoatBoy, is the one to watch. There is a lesson to be learned in stamina here, Rosie. We, (or, should I say, you?!) whimped out before the momentum really got going. Look how long Dr. BLT has hung in there and taken his punishment like the man you could never be!

Shut up and take down your flag, already!

We are pleased to announce that Dr BLT’s Dixie Chicks parody,
Not Ready to Make Rice, aka, 请检查您输入的网�是�正确, has just become the most requested song over here at WANG radio in Northern China. Thank you very, very much. No ancient Chinese torture for Dr. BLT!

Phon Wu
Radio Producer of the Year of the Tiger

All right, beeyatch, here’s a review of my record from glossy indie mag “Comes With A Smile.” Reed it and weep.

“You need a little Brill building class with added sun kissed harmonies to usher in the summer. Sure, it’s here. How about some Beach Boys bounce and candy floss hooks? That’s not a problem. I know, a song about a young child that doesn’t stick in the throat or drown in sickly sentimentality. Not an issue, we are talking mini pop miracles here.

This is sun-dappled, refreshing, frisky. The songs speak of longing, loneliness, teenage crushes and unrequited love. Pianos tinkle, guitars jangle, strings sparkle, keyboards flicker and fizz, music box melodies dance like dust in sunlight. This is an incredibly accomplished debut, a testament to Kennedy’s songwriting skills. It seems more remarkable when you consider that his day job is playing keyboards for Macy Gray. Put on your shades, break out the cider, the perfect summer soundtrack has arrived.”

Okay, there’s one. How about another, from subbacultcha.com:

“It is always refreshing to hear proper albums by proper songwriters; in an age of music riddled with super-producers and hit writing teams, to hear the thirteen songs sung simply with little bombast on Van Cortlandt Park is like driving at night, with nothing distracting from the main task at hand. Allowed to breathe as such, Joe Kennedy has assembled an amazingly assured debut, owing as much to contemporaries such as Brendon Benson and Jon Brion as it does to greats such as Brian Wilson and Paul Williams.
With a voice much like Benson, but with more whimsical subject matter, the former Macy Gray keyboard player hits the ground running with Sadness, a song a lot more uplifting than the title would suggest. Fishing follows superbly setting the tone for the rest of the album, with softly sung tales of yearning, discovery and general wonderment, all delivered in with Kennedy’s sweet sincerity.

Occasionally, the lack of modern-world benchmarks such as disdain or anger blights proceedings, but this is a very minor criticism compared to the quality of the song writing and the easiness of the production. Maybe some will begrudge the lack of an attitude, but many more will seek solace in Van Cortlandt Park, as it is an understated reminder of the power of simplicity. “

Or how about this, from Uncut, a magazine with huge circulation– kind of a mixed review, but they did give it three stars:

“Thirteen tracks of generic but gorgeous Beach Boys/Byrdsy Cali-pop from Silverlake multi-instrumentalist and Pete Yorn band member that manages to out-sundrench the entire Marina Records roster.”

In those reviews, my music was compared to Brian Wilson, John Brion, the Byrds, Teenage Fanclub, Brendan Benson and Paul Williams.

I’ve had tracks from this record played on BBC 6, BBC Scotland and KCRW. The record is available on iTunes if you want to hear something that annihilates the amateurish warblings that you call “music.”

I’m also about to sign a $50K+ publishing deal, and I’m so in demand as a side musician that I turn high-profile touring gigs down virtually every week. Oh, and the Dixie Chicks? I know them. They saw me play every night for about a month last year. Got to be pretty chummy with a few of the guys in the band, partidularly Fred Eltringham (drums) and session legend Larry Knechtel (formerly of the legendary session musician troupe the Wrecking Crew).

Let me tell you, BLT, there’s no feeling like getting on stage at Staples Center and playing in front of 20,000 people, although the show I’m scheduled to play at Carnegie Hall in April might just outdo that experience. Let me know when you accomplish anything like that. Until then, keep rocking Noah’s Bagels, and take those sour grapes and cram them straight up your raggedy ass.

First, there was my first 15 minutes of fame:

http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/Content?oid=oid%3A6375

A short “look-at-the-freak-who-plays-outside-the-bagel-shop” human interest story in a podunk Sacramento newspaper. Whoop-de-doo. Next.

Of course it would just be a matter of time before my cameo in this MTV-Video-Music-Awards nominated top hit music video:

Ooh, a cameo in a music video! Pally, I’ve been in five music videos, and not in a one-second cameo; see I was actually IN THE BAND in all of these. Next.

Then there was the appearance at number one on this chart back in July of 2006
http://www.neilyoung.com/lwwtoday/lwwsongspage.html

Wow, number one on a chart populated by such music legends as Smokin’ Socks, Emily Herring, Freddy Fry and Doug Spartz. Your momma must be very proud.

and with a new one at #243 and climbing (Merle Hasn’t Lost His Fightin’ Side),

Really, dude. Number 243. That means there are 242 other douchebags with shitty, obscure songs that outrank your even shittier obscure song. That’s like getting a “Participant” ribbon in the Special Olympics.

You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ yet!

On this point, we agree.

Don’t get me started on the name-dropping, JK47, or I’ll bury the list of stars you’ve been kissing up to with a list that will turn you even greener with envy than you are right now. Well, not really, but I just thought I’d throw that in there to put you even more on the defensive than you already seem to be.

The Dixie Chicks got most of their fans by alienating all the folks that were once their fans. Their new fans are the ones who hate their old fans. Their music kind of sucks, in my humble estimation, and certainly isn’t worthy of even one Grammy. So if you know them, please tell them to shut up and stop singing.

Your transparent jealousy and sour grapes reaction really does puzzle me. I’ve never discounted your claims at success with your musical endeavors. I’ve never said your music sucks. I’ve always been polite towards you, even as you’ve hurled one insult after another at me. I’ve even thanked you when you demonstrated that you reluctantly believed in me and my music by showing me tough love and giving me constructive criticism.

If I hadn’t used adjectives such as modest, to describe my success as an artist, and if I hadn’t labeled some of the landmarks on my way to success as “dubious,” but rather, boasted and ostentaciously claimed that I was a great success as an artist, then I could understand your need to engage in this piddling little peeing contest with me.

But what’s with all of this transparent jealousy and what’s with all of the sour grapes? It seems to me that you are doing quite well, so why not simply be content with what you’ve accomplished instead of resorting to these sort of bellicose, troglodyte tactics?

Furthermore, you would do well to note the advice I gave GoatBoy. It doesn’t matter how well you perform, or how much success you’ve gained in this business. If you continue to display the sort of arrogance and mean-spiritedness that you’ve displayed toward me, you will fall. It’s a cliche, but it’s never diminished in its truth: Pride cometh before a fall.

On the other hand, as long as I remain nice, and as long as I remain humble, and as long as I keep turning the jealousy-based sour-grapes into sweet grapes, and then, sweet wine, while applying the constructive criticism that has been graciously offered to me, I will keep rising.

You may think you’re God’s gift to music, or the piece de resistance, but if you remain proud, like one of the classics Johnny Cash dropped on us right before he died proclaimed, “God’s Gonna Cut You Down.” He exalts the meek and the humble, but strikes down the proud.

Cognitive Dissonance, BLT style:

“Of course in your case, JK47, it’s still sour grapes, all because you haven’t seen even this sort of arguably somewhat dubious, if noteworthy, “fameâ€? in your time:”

then, later:

“You may think you’re God’s gift to music, or the piece de resistance, but if you remain proud, like one of the classics Johnny Cash dropped on us right before he died proclaimed, “God’s Gonna Cut You Down.â€? He exalts the meek and the humble, but strikes down the proud.”

Step 1: BLT talks about how person X is jealous of the “fame” of BLT, bragging about rather dubious musical “achievements.”
Step 2: Person X annihilates BLT’s paltry musical resume.
Step 3: BLT lectures about humility.

For the last time, I could not possibly be jealous of you, because you are an abject failure at the thing you love, while I am an unqualified success. I pick on you because you are insufferably annoying, and seem to have no clue as to how titanically you suck. You’re the gift that keeps on giving.

I am quite humble when in the presence of my colleagues and peers– other professional musicians. Fake wannabe-poser wingnut losers get no quarter.

JK47: Cognitive Dissonance, BLT style:

Me (taken out of context of course) “Of course in your case, JK47, it’s still sour grapes, all because you haven’t seen even this sort of arguably somewhat dubious, if noteworthy, “fame� in your time:�

Me talking now: As a psychologist, I share your interest in cognitive dissonance. It is an intriguing human phenomenon. As a human being, I practice it on a daily basis. At least I do with with some modicum of “style” as you put it.

JK47: then, later:

Me: “You may think you’re God’s gift to music, or the piece de resistance, but if you remain proud, like one of the classics Johnny Cash dropped on us right before he died proclaimed, “God’s Gonna Cut You Down.� He exalts the meek and the humble, but strikes down the proud.�

JK47: Step 1: BLT talks about how person X is jealous of the “fame� of BLT, bragging about rather dubious musical “achievements.�
Step 2: Person X annihilates BLT’s paltry musical resume.
Step 3: BLT lectures about humility.

Me, now: I think you’re missing some steps here. I would see this way:

Step 1: BLT talks about how person X is jealous of the “fame� of BLT, bragging about rather dubious, but equally noteworthy, musical “achievements.�
Step 2: Person X annihilates, out of apparently transparent jealousy and sour grapes (what else could cause a first-rate musician to emotionally engage in such an intense debate with a person deeemed worthless as a musician in that person’s estimation?), BLT’s paltry musical resume (as deemed so by a person with an equally, perhaps even more sparse resume as a critic of my music).
Step 3: BLT politely and non-threateningly lectures about humility, but does it out of tough love, and with the utmost humility and concern for the other person, a person Dr BLT wants to see continue to succeed, and not to fall, in accordance with a transparent and brazen display of arrogance.

JK47: “For the last time, I could not possibly be jealous of you, because you are an abject failure at the thing you love, while I am an unqualified success. I pick on you because you are insufferably annoying, and seem to have no clue as to how titanically you suck. You’re the gift that keeps on giving.”

Me, now: Thou doth protest too much.

JK47: “I am quite humble when in the presence of my colleagues and peers– other professional musicians. Fake wannabe-poser wingnut losers get no quarter.”

So your so-called “humility” is selective. That means it’s not true humility. It is selective humility, which translates into arrogance.

Furthremore, If I am a “fake wannbe-poser,” then I am not really a poser at all, which means I am the real deal.

And just in the interest of presenting the other side as it concerns critiques of my music, here’s one that stands in stark contrast to the one’s offered by the amateur, self-proclaimed “music critics” who have trashed my music here at Sadly, No. To be more specific, I’m referring to the vocal minority with an axe to grind that ain’t so hard to find. Here’s a review of Right-wingers Need Love Too. I would simply post a link, but the original link appears to be malfunctioning at this time:

RIGHT WINGERS NEED LOVE TOO // DR. BLT
First, there was the vast right-wing conspiracy.
Then came Right Wing News.
Now we have Right Wing Records, and Right Wingers Need Love Too, by Dr. BLT.
Fortunately for the world, only the last couple of those things actually exist, former First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton’s infamous invocations notwithstanding. No conspiracy forced her husband to do what he did with that woman, Miss Lewinsky, in the Oval Office all those times, and no conspiracy forced him to commit perjury and suborn the perjury of others. But enough about that.
Dr. BLT is Bruce L. Thiessen, PhD, California psychologist by day and singer-songwriter by, well, day, night and pretty much the rest of the time. His music is focused on current events as they happen, making Right Wingers Need Love Too something like a cross between a lucid Bruce Cockburn–I did say “lucid,” thus excluding most of the actual content of Cockburn’s work–and a well-written blog. In fact, if you’ve been reading right of center blogs over the past year or so and then listen to Dr. BLT, you’ll find yourself in familiar territory.
Sonically, Dr. BLT offers up a mix of country, folk and rockabilly, while vocally he tends to come off as a Dylan with clear diction. No, scratch that. I liked the line so much I had to include it, but Dr. B’s voice is smoother and clearer than that. Especially on what I think is the best cut, “Merle Hasn’t Lost His Fighting Side.” I hear slight hints toward country legend John Anderson in that one.
The rest of the tunes slip from the humorous to the serious, touching on all the hot-button issues of the past few years. “FahrenHYPE 9-11” takes on Michael Moore (and was written before the rebuttal movie that carried the same title) from a psychological point of view (and maybe Bush does remind Mikey of his dad); “Republican Rock Stars” asks why we can only count the Ramones and Ted Nugent as fellow travelers; “Grievin’ for the Gipper” laments the passing of Ronaldus Magnus; and the title cut recounts the Cheney-Leahy Senate expletive incident before calling on folks to stop bashing President Bush and then reminding listeners that right-wingers need love too. Which, believe it or not lefties, is true. “Let’s Roll” is a haunting call to war in the wake of 9-11’s devastation.
Lefties will find Right Wingers Need Love Too highly annoying, especially the lines about swift boats, Michael Moore and issues near and dear to the right side of the political divide. But righties and the open-minded will get a kick out of it. It’s not often we hear our beliefs and politics set to music. Dr. BLT is a pro-life, pro-America hard-charging storyteller with, as Bono once put it, a guitar, three chords and the truth. Except I’m pretty sure I heard more than three chords on Right Wingers Need Love Too.
RWNLT is not destined to climb the Billboard charts, but it’s an entertaining listen that often caught me by surprise. As a former garage band player, I can only envy its spirit and creative energy. If you’re looking for an antidote to the usual garbage and nonsense you find at the local record store, and if you like a little grit with your tunes, Dr. BLT and Right Wingers Need Love Too may be what you’re looking for.
Posted by B. Preston at 10:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

I am not Grape Ape.

I haven’t seen anything run this long since the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

We keep waiting to proclaim that this thread is dead, but it keeps going. It’s taken on a whole life of its own.

This troll is like a Timex watch. He takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.

Sour grapes blah blah blah transparent jealousy blah blah blah sour grapes blah blah blah transparent jealousy

Now somebody wishing they were me has commented above, in my name. They’ve thrown virtually every insult, every trick, and everything but the kitchen sink at me, and I’m still standing. That must be very frustrating.

We’re tired of the good doctor calling us by name ad nauseam too, but those items don’t belong on a good sandwich, so as long as that’s all you’re throwing at the good doctor, then that’s all he’s going to throw back to you.

Thar she blows!

Does the old line about sour grapes and jealousy sound like a broken record to you? Well just wait until Dr BLT, the rock n roll troll with soul, breaks new records on the charts in the coming weeks, months and years, and just wait until the Grammy awards next year. He’ll make the Dixie Chicks look like Ditsie Hicks.

It seems like we’ve been outshined by the good doctor and…who were those two troll-baiting blog floggers again? Help me out here, Mr. Trump.

I don’t remember them either, and I’m sure the world will not, when all is said and done. They are alot like you—full of hot air, and easily forgotten.

So, just for the record…you’ve actually picked sides in the battle of the loudmouth boors? I’m sure I couldn’t begin to guess your selection criteria.

Oh wait, one is liberal and one is a predatory greedbag. And you’re a republican. Looks like I was able to guess after all.

But GoatBoy, you seem to have forgotten that I am not a hard-core Republican, but a moderate, who often takes the liberal side on a variety of core issues. And have you forgotten that the one you perjoratively label a “predatory greedbag,” is also a liberal?

Sadly, No!.

Their music kind of sucks, in my humble estimation, and certainly isn’t worthy of even one Grammy. So if you know them, please tell them to shut up and stop singing.

Sounds like someone has a bad case of transparent jealousy, perhaps from eating a few too many sour grapes.

GoatBoy, you hold his arms while I pummel him and take his lunch money.

“Sounds like someone has a bad case of transparent jealousy, perhaps from eating a few too many sour grapes.”

Yes, the two of you, with your sour grapes and transparent jealousy (well, I guess it’s down to one now) are starting to rubb off on me.

“GoatBoy, you hold his arms while I pummel him and take his lunch money.”

Who needs lunch money when you are the sandwich doc? Besides, I’m confident the two of you will soon be saying “Uncle!”

Oh, and I forgot to mention that there’s no need to hold my arms down in order to “pummel” me. I’ve been beaten up here so many times that I’ve become rather “armless.”

You think it has something to do with your mission to let each and every one of us know how wrong you think we are?

Maybe?

Yes, GoatBoy, all two of you.

You’ve been beaten up “so many times” by only two of us?

Stopped you making sense have.

Two against one. Not fair. Of course I have twice the wit as both of you put together, so I guess that kind of balances it out.

This thread appears officially dead, and I am the last man standing.

This thread appears officially dead, and I am the last man standing.

Another towering achievement for the sammich.

I don’t mind you riding my coattails to success TK47. Oh, BTW, when we were boastfully, arrogantly and shallowly dropping names to prop up our fragile egos, I forgot to mention that none other than the rock start, Pink, and her record producer, quoted the sandwich doc, and linked to the sandwich doc. That quote and link can be found here:

http://www.youthcrisisnetwork.org/pink.htm

Are we jealous yet?

I don’t mind you riding my coattails to success TK47. Oh, BTW, when we were boastfully, arrogantly and shallowly dropping names to prop up our fragile egos,

No, no, I was dropping names to destroy YOUR fragile ego. It worked, apparently.

You are a name dropper. Now check out this famous person who is aware of my existence.

It’s not that Pink and her record producer are simply “aware of my existence.” It’s that they, unlike the vocal minority here, respect my words enough to create a special post in my honor. BTW, did I tell you that both Don Henley and Courtney Love have both held copies of my song lyrics in their hands? I witnessed the event, so it’s first hand knowledge, not some rumor that may be floating around.

BTW, TK47, I’m not accustomed to this sort of name-dropping and arrogant, vainglorious boasting. It’s kind of like trying on a brand new pair of shoes. It’s a little awkward. I just thought I’d try it out so I would know how it feels to be you (only with something real to brag about).

BTW, TK47, I’m not accustomed to this sort of name-dropping and arrogant, vainglorious boasting.

Dude, vainglorious boasting is ALL YOU DO. You troll websites, annoyingly foisting your amateurish bleatings on innocent, unwitting victims, all in hopes of generating some precious attention for yourself. You’re a freaking egomaniac.

If I were such an egregious name-dropper, I’d be doing it on a thread that someone on the planet other than you is reading.

You so crazy.

I’m actually extremely humble—more humble than anyone I know. Don’t be fooled by all of the vainglorious boasting. That’s just my way of modestly hiding how truly humble I am.

“Firefox can’t find the server at http://www.youthcrisisnetwork.org.”

My, that is impressive.