That’s Some Difference To Split
Despairing Lefty: “Dammit, extremist wingnuttery is mainstream! Gaaahhh!”
‘Centrist’: “Bosh, flimshaw! I’m merely and exactly, in my sober way, determining the precise point between two extremes. So I’ll match the Charles Mansonism you’re hyperventilatingly pointing to with this flagrant instance of jaywalking!”
Despairing Lefty: “Whaaaa-??”
‘Centrist’: “Shut up. Look, okay, so we have a guy who stole an election, recieved more corporate money than God — though why you think that is evidence of the dawn of a new Gilded Age is beyond me — who is being advised by the most batshit extremist bunch of ideologue criminals in the West, the neoconservatives. Fine. And this guy, he’s stocked his administration with oilmen and former Nixon/Ford hacks, right? And he’s saying, ‘trust me on this Iraq thing'”.
Despairing Lefty: “Right! Isn’t it horrible!?! Don’t you see the trap?! These guys are wicked and corrupt and are just spouting bullshit about democracy and freedom and so on when really they don’t give a shit about any of that. They are horrible, venal fuckfaces!! They –”
‘Centrist’: “Yeah, okay. But you know what? On the other side are dirty fucking hippies and Noam Chomsky and Gore Vidal and Howard Zinn and I don’t really give a darn if they were right about Vietnam or Iran-Contra or even Florida 2000. On the one hand is an extreme and so there too is extremity on the other. I’m just being sensible here. There are hawks who care about national security and greatness and then there are idiotarian-commie-hippie scum. Don’t look at me like that! I attack this problem of matching extremes without prejudice. I’m disinterested. Objective. Agnostic.”
Despairing Lefty: “You stupid, stupid fuck.”
‘Centrist’: “And that’s another thing. You’re extremely obnoxious. You’re always saying, ‘wanker’ and ‘fuck this’ and ‘shit’ and stuff. I mean, why can’t you be reasonable? Like, say, this nice Randroid, Social Darwinist woman who politely recommended that anti-war protestors be beaten with two-by-fours? Such is a person who can be reasoned with, unlike the extremist vulgarians on your side, with whom no one civil can engage.”
Despairing Lefty: “Jesus Christ. WTF is wrong with you?!?!”
‘Centrist’: “And that’s another thing, the extreme shrillness of the Left punditry. It’s simply not fit for public consumption. Turns too many people away. A proper battery of pundits on a national newspaper would include sober and sensible centrists like myself, and some intelligent neocons like Max Boot who, in his erudite way, advocates imperialism, glosses over genocide, and most excellently inculcates mass paranoia among his readers. On the other hand, shrill Lefties like Bob Scheer should be confined to The Nation.
Despairing Lefty: “Buh.. Guh.. I can’t..”
‘Centrist’: “And what’s worse is when the shrillness and pottymouthery is combined. Take Amanda Marcotte, for example. I mean, what with all her cursing and making fun of fundamentalists and stuff, she’s obviously the flip-side extreme of Michelle ‘Put them in Internment Camps’ Malkin. Rather like David Hager and Joycelyn Elders, you know, anal-rapist on the one hand, Surgeon General who talked about masturbation on the other. Thesis, anti-thesis. Hey, don’t give me that look. I’m just trying to find the proper synthesis here. I find both extremes repugnant.
Despairing Lefty: [Jumps out the window]
Paul Krugman tells us why invading Iran, even if the anonymous sources are true, would be a big fucking mistake.
Bob Herbert also weighs in on the differences between Hillary, Rudy and, of course, Obama in Until the War Ends…
Why are these men so shrill?
Don’t jump out the window. Fight the good fight. Yes, it’s hard, but do it. Help me, Lefty Wan-Kenobi. You’re my only hope.
Jump! All at once!
That pretty much says it all. Well done.
Yeah, throw the Centrist out the window. Come on, that’s why we keep losing.
“Yeah, throw the Centrist out the window. Come on, that’s why we keep losing.”
How very fascist of you. I’m sure your mother would be proud.
FREE AMANDA!
“Yeah, throw the Centrist out the window.”
The second story window!! And then jump!!!
Look on the bright(er) side: You can actually leave comments at the piece-of-shit “blog” known as Swampland and at the piece-of-shit online perveyor of bullshit conventional wisdom known as the Politico. At least for the time being.
Let ‘er rip.
Yeah, throw the Centrist out the window
If he’s a centrist who enables far-right repugnance? You bet your ass throw him out the window. Head first.
Throw the centrist down a well.
I summed it up this way a while ago. “You’re the one with a 10 year old son. Your continuing support for this war is crucial, not mine”
That one hit home – dispite being ‘uncivil’.
Hell is a boat load of wingnuts.
Even my father, once a Goldwater voter, no longer acts that way. Where he once told me I was being foolishly hyperbolic saying this admin and their supporters are pointing towards fascism, now he simply listens. It’s gratifying, and slightly bizarre.
Only fucking morons try to act like this mess isn’t worth caring about personally. *looks at Ann Althouse*
*posts comment as Ann Althouse*
I am either a fucking moron or ethically bankrupt, probably both.
Who wants dip?
What will it take for the mainstream, local news media to cover the irresponsible actions of the Right? You know full well that’s the only way we’re likely to begin to drive the “center” back towards where it belongs. Right now we’re dealing with a “center” that’s father right than Nixon.
I used to think that a lower-case d looked like a penis. But now I know a penis looks more like this: 3==========o.
I’m learning!
What will it take for the mainstream, local news media to cover the irresponsible actions of the Right?
ownership by someone else.
I like tiny prick pie!
There you go again.
I was lazing about yesterday, and I caught part of a Chris Hedges talk on Book TV about his new book – American Fascists. It’s nice to see more polite, mainstream types start using this language (Hedges is a divinity school graduate, and doesn’t say “fuck” very often). I’m a bit bummed that I didn’t catch more of his talk, as I turned it on toward the end. He did make an especially provocative comment about what he referred to as the “Weimarization” of the middle and working classes in America – a phenomenon he layed pretty squarely at the feet of Bill Clinton. I’ll have to check this book out, because it really does sound interesting.
At any rate, after listening to Hedges for a bit, I flipped through the channels some more. It was especially unnerving, in that context, to have stumbled upon God TV after that – even moreso with their claim about how they’re always “watching over” you.
Check out their splashpage – it is a masterpiece of creepy.
You were at my last family gathering, weren’t you. *sigh*
jurassicpork said,
February 12, 2007 at 6:18
Paul Krugman tells us why invading Iran, even if the anonymous sources are true, would be a big fucking mistake.
The fact is, if Krugman says something is a mistake, it makes me support it even more. America is strong.
Wot–? And poison the water?!?
Bleeding hell!!1!
let’s play a game:
one person wants to stab someone to death with a thousand slashes. someone else (an extremist) thinks we shouldn’t stab the person at all.
a centrist just wants to cut the person a few times, just a few stabs, killing is probably going to far, but some bloodletting is ok. i mean, only a dirty fucking hippy wouldn’t want to stab someone at all.
etc.
clearly i’m taking my dad persona too far.
or wait, how does sock-puppetry work? that dad guy is fucking brilliant. what a genius. he’s so misunderstood.
Dad’s got it right; it’s the classic centrist fallacy.
A says that 1+1=2. B says that 1+1=4. C denounces A and B as extremists and declares that 1+1 must equal 3, because that’s a reasonable compromise between the two extreme positions.
(Submit!!!)
“When the Centrist looks in the mirror, he sees nothing because he doesn’t exist”
No No Non Nato.
He sees nothing because he is a vampire, sucking the life-force of truth, goodness, compassion, etc. out of the body politic in his ceaseless quest for corporate tax breaks and gov’t. contracts and shit like that and so forth.
He must be slain.
blegh. annieangel is disgusting.
any reason why she doesn’t post any photo but her legs on her site? I’m leaning towards the argument that she has nice legs, like mick jagger or something, but the rest of the package looks like a dried apricot.
I know you’re not supposed to feed the trolls here, but for god’s sake, annie, shut the fuck up.
I thought you were going to give up talking to us ‘heathens’ who don’t listen to you.
when are you going to follow through with that plan? please?
Shorter Retardo:
“The Far Left is always right about everything, and the Center Left wrong, which I will demonstrate by debating Howdy Doody.”
annieangel said,
February 12, 2007 at 6:26
Jump! All at once!
MY GOD! Wouldn’t that break teh InterTubes?!!?!
I love pie…
Shorter Grampaw:
“I didn’t understand what he said, but he must have been wrong anyway.”
Jump! All at once!
AA, you’ve been watching too many Japanese horror movies. That was a scene in Suicide Circle, wasn’t it? And possibly half-a-dozen others.
No, no, no, Grampaw, you’ve got it all wrong. We never see a discussion of the Far Left or the Center Left in the above. About as close as we can come to what you said would be:
“The [Left] is always right about everything, and the Center [Right] wrong, which I will demonstrate by debating Howdy Doody.�
This is still a silly, hyperbolic caricature of the post, but at least it involves the correct entities.
Gee, and I thought I’d finally gotten the whole “shorter” concept right.
Incidentally, if I slapped the label “Right” on a straw pastiche of various left-leaning centrists with widely varying opinions, would that count as “silly, hyperbolic caricature?” And more importantly, would Retardo pat me on the head and give me a biscuit?
Gee, and I thought I’d finally gotten the whole “shorter� concept right.
No, Grampaw, you can’t get anything right, least of all the fact that your version of ‘center-left’ is to the Right of Richard Nixon. Kevin Drum, et al, on a good fucking day, are Rockefeller Republicans. But it’s nice to see you’re still trying to fuck with the goalposts. The only mystery is if you’ve been played by the Overton Window or have taken to it consciously for your own benefit.