Can we get another one of those denial-of-service attacks going to stop these videos?

I’m off to bleach the eyeballs again.

I will never get that one minute of my life back.

Liberals don’t like black people unless they’re light-skinned! Oh ho ho ho ho ho!

The only thing missing from this clip was a Chappaquiddick joke, but I’m sure it’s coming.

L. Wrong Hubbard?
That is the best bright-shirt boy could come up with??

You’re kidding. Surely even the classic comedy stylings of Barry Goldwater was better than this.

Popping up on their IM:

covervativ2007: OMGz “douche” lol!!!on131!

conservativ145: a/s/l?

bushrulz2004: secks?!!

“Liberals have a secret bias against black people.”

As opposed to the unsecret bias held by conservatives?

Seriously though, anyone who said that within punching distance of me would regret it.

That makes me nostalgic for the comedy stylings of Julia Gorin.

I think the most telling quote from that clip was “is that the ‘one’ that sang all night long?”

Um what? Are these people even speaking English? “Secret bias against black people”? WTF?

Soooo, guess that means there are no liberal Blacks. Since the groups are mutually exclusive and all. Guess that means I don’t exi…

The Daily Show had Biden on and asked him point blank about his stupid comments. Maybe they should watch his show sometime.

Oh, Gawd. Gavin, what did we do to deserve this abuse?

Someone paid these people to do this. How senseless and wrong.

Actually they should be able to check for themselves if Oprah douches. As she’s grinding her heels into their backs walking over them on the way to being a double-billionaire, they’re uniquely positioned to find out.

Well, that’s as bad as I expected. In a way, it’s reassuring. If they had tried to be actually funny, instead of just being assholes, they might have had something. We should be glad Rush is the only one on the right who even vaguely understands that, and not very well.

Liberals don’t like black people unless they’re light-skinned!

Yeah, but for some reason, he forgot the punch line: “Conservatives don’t like black people. Period.”

I gotta say, they picked an appropriate name for the show, ’cause it smells like an infected ass.

I can’t even bring myself to click on the clip. I won’t and you can’t make me. Can I assume there were “Michael Moore ate the world” jokes, or is that to be paired with the Chappquedick joke?

Oprah! Douche! Lionel Richie! Bathing! Byrd! Black people are like this! White people are like this!

Good God, it’s like they took every lame derivative not-even-fit-to-be-on-Comedy-Central-at-two-a.m.-on-a-Tuesday hack comic, threw ’em in the blender with Pasty Goldstein, hit puree, and waited for the laffs. Extra jackweed demerits for the consistent laughing-at-one’s-own-jokes throughout the entire bit.

I’ve not even watched it, but man that fucking sucked

I think they even know it isn’t funny. Those laughs we the standard teevee personality forced laughs.

The clip is definitive evidence that conservatism is incompatible with humor.

I caught a few minutes of “Red Eye” last evening. Enjoy it now, because that shit will not be on the air for long.

In the segment I saw, the panel of dumbshits was debating Global Warming. One of the female dumbshits made some comment to the effect of, “Let the liberals go to Iraq, and then they can tell me which will get them first, global warming or the terrorists.” My brain actually tried to jump out of my skull when it heard that.

Give ’em enough rope… You know the rest.

Wow. All I can say is that the Daily Show better watch out. I mean, jokes about my secret hatred of black people because—um, no, wait that’s not explained, *sigh*—but you’ve got to admit, you were going, “he’s saying what we’re all thinking.”

Or not.

But what really struck me was the complete lack of a discussion about I like Barack Obama because I’m a terrorist sympathizer and secretly hope he’s a closet Muslimamofascist bent on destroying us all.

Is the camera operator drunk?

Snowwy: Soooo, guess that means there are no liberal Blacks.

Just the point I wanted to make – excellent catch of the crypto-racism. These dorks’ belief that black people don’t count is so ingrained they don’t even notice that they say stuff like this.

Is the camera operator drunk?

I assumed he was trying to find a way out of there, but kept getting blocked by the producers.

Is the camera operator drunk?

Wouldn’t you be?

Compare and contrast how many times the repellent Gutfield and that crew, and the Gorin woman and her crew, say “liberals” as part of their humor, with how often Stewart, Colbert, Maher, etc. say “conservatives.” Which is, like, a jillion to zero!

Even Gutfield, who in the Biden line had a legitimate topic for a joke, couldn’t wait to leap to “liberals.”

Ditto Coulter, Limbaugh, Hannity: with all of them, humor is always in the service of propaganda (whether they know it or not). Which is not only why it isn’t funny, but why it’s never even interestingly not-funny. It’s stale before they ever say it.

It never provides a takeoff point for sharp observation about an individual’s speech or behavior. Or (as Stewart and his writers often do), to explore the logical implications of someone’s statement or policy. Instead, it’s always an excuse to haul out the stereotype and point to it as the punch line.

Why? Because they love being “conservatives.” It’s all they love. “Conservative” to them is what “patriot” is to their dumber yahoo colleagues.

In both cases, it dresses up power-worship and an eagerness to please the authorities (for strength by proxy, or just out of personal greed) in the costume of “tradition,” “freedom” (for themselves and the boss), and a (bogus, dumbbell) sort of wised-up “pragmatism.” Oh, yeah, and “standards,” as opp. to “liberals,” who “don’t believe in anything.”

These jerks really are the crowd who clustered around the playground bully and laughed when he pounded some little kid. And the more objectively disastrous their rule has been, the more ordinary people who don’t give a fuck about liberal or conservative are horrified, the more desperate they become.

The Monty Python knight should have hit the L. Wrong Hubbard guy with a rubber chicken.

MrWonderful is right about right-wing comedy. It’s message first, funny second, which never works. The good comedians who do topical humor always go for the laugh, with the point as the after-dinner mint.

Have another beer, then watch it again.

Enjoy it now, because that shit will not be on the air for long.

I dunno – we mustn’t misunderestimate the power of wingnut welfare. Maybe they’ll figure out the TV rating equivalent of a bulk book purchase.

Doc, you didn’t dethrone anybody on any best records list in 2006 or any other year, and never, ever will because you suck at music. You utterly, definitively, comprehensively suck. Your work is tuneless, amateurish and shoddily produced. I wouldn’t pile on you if you weren’t such an obnoxious egomaniac. Having hobbies is one thing. Pretending that you should be mentioned in the same breath with musical legends like Prince and Neil Young is delusional and embarrassing and gives away the fact that you are a complete tool.

Conservative music sucks just as much balls as conservative comedy anyway, so even if you had a shred of talent (which you most certainly do not) you would still certainly lack the taste necessary to make music that anyone other than your egotistical self would ever find listenable.

MrWonderful nailed it. “Conservative humor” isn’t about a sharp observation, but rather about proving ideological purity.

JK47, read it, and weep:

http://www.morethings.com/music/best_songs_2006.htm

Doc, you didn’t dethrone anybody on any best records list in 2006 or any other year, and never, ever will because you suck at music.

“Your work is tuneless, amateurish and shoddily produced. I wouldn’t pile on you if you weren’t such an obnoxious egomaniac.”

I’m much more humble in person.

For some reason, I can no longer view video on this site, you tube and many others.

Considering the comic stylings of Greg Gutfeld are on display here, I now consider this a blessing.

Thank you Lord for sparing me.

JK47, well, what do you have to say for yourself. Where is Prince on that list put out by a well-respected Blogcritics Magazine writer, and where am I?

You’re just jealous that you don’t own Garage Band.

Dr. Phd. BLT, I’m going to point out that just because Al Barger says you put out something better than Neil Young does not make it so, as Jean Luc Picard would say.

Furthermore, if Bush had been impeached after he lied us into the Iraq debacle, a lot fewer Americans and other people would be dead, maimed, and/or tortured today.

The sooner he is impeached, the better.

Just what the hell differentiates this “comedy” from FOX [sic] real news shows? Honestly, I can’t tell the difference. This is just like a Glen Beck program or something. Liberals blah blah blah.. liberals blah blah blah…

Contrast this to the Daily show? You’ve gotta be kidding me! This was BORING! Just people sitting around bashing liberals and laughing about it. Ok, and as a woman, I’m allowed to say that the females were acting like total bimbos. Surely people cannot be born this stupid. There must be something in the water in highly conservative areas.

I have to give them some credit.

They make Carlos Mencia look like a comedy genius.

JK47, well, what do you have to say for yourself. Where is Prince on that list put out by a well-respected Blogcritics Magazine writer, and where am I?

You’re just jealous that you don’t own Garage Band.

Jealous of you? Dude, do you have any idea where I am right now? I’m in the back of my tour bus. Yes, the bus has wi-fi. Tonight is the opening night of a 40-city tour we’re on. I’m currently playing guitar and keyboards for a gold-certified artist. See, I am actually a professional musician. I do this for a living. I am not a poseur like you who pretends that anybody actually gives a shit about his half-assed music.

This is why I get so pissed at you. I actually know the amount of hard work and dedication it takes to be a successful musician, while people like you just play at it. To say I am jealous of you would be like saying Albert Pujols is jealous of the guys who play in the weekend sandlot beer league down the street.

So some jerkoff who nobody ever heard of said he likes your song. That’s your big fucking accomplishment in music? You are pathetic.

Why would Biden be his ‘favorite person right now’? Even Joe backed away from his comment. Hell, I’m even willing to give Biden his comma — and even then he still knows enough to understand he said something stupid.

Naturally, his fan is unabashedly stupider.

And I really like the douchebag with the beer in front of him. How dangerous! My guess is his drivetime morning show made him a big cheese in greater Evansville, RedEye caught whiff of this new laff genius from the sticks and promised to make him a STAR. With a fresh act like yours, Spuds, you’ll be big. Maybe, dare I say it, Morton Downey, Jr. big.

Did they have to pay for a studio audience?

I bet you could create a fun drinking game based on how many times this show makes a Ted Kennedy reference.

Ironically, playing such a game would itself be more satirical than any thing these people could come up with.

Almost makes you wish they’d put Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn back on the air…but not really.

Wow! That show doesn’t look the slightest bit contrived. I can’t wait to see the Republican hip-hop channel with VJ Maglalangdingdong in her super hip Mao hat reading the music news a la Kurt Loder. It’s got “muy authentico” written all over it.

Were there any actual, you know, jokes in that clip?

Mr Wonderful, you are indeed wonderful. Such an astute observation I’ve not read in a long while.

Coincidentally, over on Alternet, they’ve got an article about female comedians (dare I say ‘comediennes’?), so I’ve been a-thinking about the nature of comedy. About how good comedy, like Ben Elton’s standup, is inclusive, insightful, and piss-funny, and how bad comedy is often cruel. Elton makes us laugh at the tosspot within all of us, while twats like this lot pump themselves up by putting others down.

Now I’m all for letting folks put themselves down. The Daily Show does this superlatively well, and I think they should be cloned and scattered throughout the population. But, as you so succinctly said, the Daily Show simply point out the logical inconsistencies and appalling consequences of the Bush junta’s madness. These clowns sit around like 12 year olds who’ve just had their balls drop, trying to pretend that they’re tough.

Why are so many right wingers so very very stupid? Could this be incorporated into citizenship tests, drivers licenses, etc? I think there’s lots of potential there.

ahhh, Greg Gutfeld, the men’s fashion magazine editor who was recently fired. He’s a special man with a certain bitterness toward the half-naked men he put on the cover of his magazines and the writers that wouldn’t sleep with him. Of course, this makes him prime material for being conservative idol of the month.

Now I’m all for letting folks put themselves down. The Daily Show does this superlatively well, and I think they should be cloned and scattered throughout the population.

Jon Stewart has the self-deprecation thing down. He’s funny because he doesn’t take himself too seriously and is not a blowhard. He’s the perfect antidote to the bloated, self-satisfied dickhead gasbags like Limbaugh and Dennis Miller. Even Stewart’s detractors would have to admit that he does seem like a pretty nice guy.

The Daily Show is funny first and political second. This is political first and not even remotely funny. Actually, does something this juvenile count as political even?

Thanks for checking out the show!

Is the camera operator drunk?

I think the operator’s previous work was Battlefield Earth.

“This is why I get so pissed at you. I actually know the amount of hard work and dedication it takes to be a successful musician, while people like you just play at it. To say I am jealous of you would be like saying Albert Pujols is jealous of the guys who play in the weekend sandlot beer league down the street.”

Dude, I respect all of your hard work, and give you props for what you’re doing. What you do, is what I wish I was doing, but I went to school too many years to prepare for my day job, so I’m not ready to give it up. You don’t have to put down what I do, just to make yourself feel good about what you’re doing. It’s like comparing apples and oranges. One doesn’t have to be bad, in order for the other to be good.

The moral is: people sitting around being mean is not funny. And people sitting around being mean and laughing at their own jokes is even less so.

Comedy is hard, especially entertainment comedy. But I think this side-step’s what’s really at play here, and that’s FN’s effort to create a show that really saws what Right-wing PR/Re-education wants to say, while hiding behind the guise of “it’s a joke!”

So when’s the funny part start?

Almost makes you wish they’d put Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn back on the air…but not really.

AKA ‘Ethnic Jokes With Colin Quinn’. Give ‘Brown Eye’ a few more weeks, and we’ll all be waxing nostalgic for Greg Giraldo doing ‘faggot’ jokes.

“Dr. Phd. BLT, I’m going to point out that just because Al Barger says you put out something better than Neil Young does not make it so, as Jean Luc Picard would say.”

True, and I never said I put out something better than Neil Young. It’s one well respected critic’s opinion. As for impeaching the president, where would that get us, some think it would solve the world’s problems. I don’t happen to agree.

I guess my reaction here was totally at odds with the rest of y’all.

My thoughts were more along the lines of “eh, I guess it’s better than SNL on a bad night, but gee whiz, it sure did light up the ol’ gaydar.”

Not as painfully, cringe-inducingly bad as the America Show.
But still. Wow. The tip-off is them trying to laugh at their own jokes. Stewart rarely cracks up on the air, and Colbert never does.

It’s like sitting at a table in a bar with 4 assholes.

Colbert does sometimes. Check out “Filliam H. Muffman” on youtube.

Colbert and Stewart do crack sometimes. It’s usually after saying something so absurd that they can’t get it out without laughing. and Stewart also laughs when another person on the show does something hilarious. But with the two of them it’s never “Ha, ha, we’re so fucking hilarious and awesome.”

You don’t have to put down what I do, just to make yourself feel good about what you’re doing.

No, see, you don’t get it. I put you down because you PRETEND to be some sort of fucking genius, when you in fact suck. It’s insulting to our intelligence. I can’t let it go without calling it out. I’m sorry, I just can’t.

Plus, you are dishonest. “A respected critic says Dr. BLT’s single is…”

BULLSHIT. That dude is obviously some friend of yours. Greg Kot, David Fricke, Greil Marcus– THOSE are respected music critics. The dude who reviewed your record is some asshole wingnut who ran for Senator from Indiana as a Libertarian. Hence, he is someone whose opinion about music is completely irrelevant. You’re making it sound like Rolling Stone gave your record five stars. It’s fucking pathetic.

Has anyone else noticed that the talented and buff host, HairGelBoy lip syncs the words:”I was told I was allowed to say the D-word” just like an 11th grade drama class geek?

Check it out. It’s at 1:03 in the clip.

I just knew their lack of talent would betray them, I just didn’t figure it would happen so early in the launch.

ROTFLMAO!!

I forgot to add to the above post: Rehearse your ad-lib much?

Jim, maybe if you spent less time on comment threads, and more time keeping your hosts from laughing at their own jokes, (or actually writing funny one, but baby steps), you might have something worth watching.

The secret to the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, and the early seasons of the Simpsons was a unknown concept to the modern Right called understatement. The protagonists were silently laughing at themselves as much as they were at others. Rightwing comedy is like watching drunken Bears fans and Packers fans trade insults in a bar. “You suck.”…”No, you suck.”

“BULLSHIT. That dude is obviously some friend of yours. Greg Kot, David Fricke, Greil Marcus– THOSE are respected music critics. The dude who reviewed your record is some asshole wingnut who ran for Senator from Indiana as a Libertarian. Hence, he is someone whose opinion about music is completely irrelevant. You’re making it sound like Rolling Stone gave your record five stars. It’s fucking pathetic.”

JK47: I knew you would go here next—-attempt to discredit the messanger of good news (bad news for you). First of all, I am nothing, if not honest. The only bad thing I do on the internet is pimp my tunes and brag from time to time. Sometimes the way I do it is rather tacky. I will be the first to admit that. However, I don’t lie, and I swear to you that I don’t know Al Barger, not as a friend at all. I know of him—-as a writer for Blogcritics Magazine, and as a well-respected critic.

Second, you are saying that if somebody has been politically active, that person cannot possibly be objective as a critic. If that were true, it would disqualify nearly every critic, because most have very strong political views. If you want to talk about Rolling Stone, that magazine is more political than nearly any magazine I have come across.

I do understand your frustration that you, having claimed to be such a hard-working musician, has to work so hard to even get a critical mention in anything at all, and then some troll comes along and appears at #8 on a list of the Best Records of 2006. I can understand that sort of resentment. You are probably a much harder-working musician than I am and you are probably a much more polished performer. I am just a songwriter who puts up with a lot of abuse, and feels justifiably content when somebody finally gives a song a few props. As a musician, I celebrate in the accomplishments of other musicians. We are like family. I don’t go around putting down other artists, especially not when they get some sort of critical acclaim, whether or not I respect the source of that claim. I suggest you celebrate with me, instead of putting me down. If not, that is your choice, but you will end up being a more unhappy person for being so negative.

Furthermore, JK47, it seems that Al Barger was not alone in his opinion of the song. Here is that same song at number one on USA Today’s top Songs of the Times—–one big notch above Kris Kristofferson’s In The News: Sat, 22 Jul 2006 01:09:48 UTC

Songs of the Times
Popularity Ranking: New Listings:
1. Neil Young Have You Forgotten – BLT
2. In The News – Kris Kristofferson
3. Bad President – Yikes McGee
4. F The CC – Steve Earle
5. They Called Her America – Jenny Yates
6. The Baghdad Dream – Steve Forbert
7. Another World Is Possible – Stephan Smith
8. Terrified – Trevor Childs
9. Red White & Blue – Gary Gates
10. Got War – MD Dunn

I still can’t get over how Conservtive Says Something Racist=Liberals Are
Really Racists to these idiots.

That Rachel is a funny girl… criminally funny

http://www.provincialcourt.bc.ca/judgments/pc/2004/03/p04_0369.htm

http://rachelmarsdenfanclub.blogspot.com/

I was going to write something about how this wasn’t funny, but then I remembered that saying, “liberals _________ ” is automatically funny somehow.

“I think they even know it isn’t funny. Those laughs we the standard teevee personality forced laughs.
The clip is definitive evidence that conservatism is incompatible with humor.”

That’s what’s so obvious. I’ve written comedy for TV, and commented about it on blogs from time to time, so I know a little something about it.

Having just wasted 90 seconds of my life watching the clip–time that would have been better spent watching Glenn Reynolds pick and then eat ticks from Mickey Kaus’ back hair, I felt a little bit bad. Bad in the way you feel when you see a friend or peer onstage bombing–and knowing he’s bombing. You just wanna look down at your feet, or at your stale drink and pray for the red light to go on so the poor bastard can just leave the stage, and get on a train 10 blocks away where no one from the club’ll be nearby to point, and bleat Nelson Muntz-like–“A-haaaaah!”

That foursome of f*ck ups knew they were bombing. You can see the fear in their eyes. And when confident comedians get together like that–even comedians you don’t like, such as the occasionally repellent crews assembled at Colin Quinn’s “Tough Crowd”, their reactions are different. They don’t laugh like a 7th grade class clown at the lunch table who just got off a good one about the lunch lady’s tater tot-like neck melanoma. They hit the punch line, sit back confidently and let the laughs–or give space for the laughs to –come.

Timing.

And what’ll often happen is that a fellow comedian on the panel’ll give that joke room to breathe and then build on it–escalate it with his or her own twist on the quip.

Note this crew couldn’t do that. Nope. They acted more like a group of over-sugared kids screaming out answers at a raucous, brithday party game of “Pictionary”. And the worse they got, the unfunnier they became, and the more desperately crazed they got. And they knew it. Did you catch the lack of a studio audience in the bit? Were they so afraid that not a one of these four mirthmasters could garner a laugh–a well-timed, humor-and-not-partisan-driven laugh in a studio full of people?

Daily Show does it.

Colbert does it.

Tough Crowd did it.

Real Time does it.

But these clowns won’t. And apparently can’t. Probably because in their attempt to market a snarky, hip, edgy, GOP clone of “The Daily Show”, they came to realize there just ain’t enough “snarky, hip and edgy GOP-ers” to fill a studio audience with.

Did Fox’s marketing division f*ck up here? I think the answer is Sadly, Yes. 🙂

By the by. quite telling is the semi-inadvertent “Blacks all look alike” joke near the top where they can’t tell the difference between Lionel Jefferson and Lionel Richie and get their negroes all confused and ever’thang.

Putting GOP comedy stalwarts like Jeff Foxworthy and Larry The Cable Guy on this show would’ve blunted the witty, urbane edge they were goin’ for, ah reckon. 🙂

What is it with Conservative “comedy” shows and their inability to hold the camera steady? It’s like all their regular camera guys wouldn’t touch this shit with a 25-foot grounded pole and so they had to get that little dude with the red hat from the Mario Bros. games to fill in.

“Have another beer, then watch it again.”

Dear He Who Is Not To Be Named,

I think it would take at least three shots of Everclear to have an effect.

Thanks for tricking me into watching that.

You’re kidding, right? That’s not supposed to be funny, right? Some kid’s Mum went out and he and his friends sat around in the furnace room trying to mock lameass bobbleheads while taping it with a cellphone attached to the dog’s forehead, right?

Right?

I must honestly say this, Dr. BLT:

As a musician who has recorded over 80 songs, along with playing many instruments, teaching guitar and piano, and singing for over 15 years in many bands:

Your music just isn’t that good. You have no ear. Can you even tell when you are hitting a bad note? Most of your vocals are sharp or flat all the time. Also, you apparently have no sense of rhythm or tempo, as you are off-tempo during almost every lyric, i.e., your song, Traitor.

Also, just monotonously strumming the same simple open chords over and over again for 2 minutes does not make for an interesting song.

Whoever put you above prince in any poll obviously knows you personally, or has poor taste, no ear, or are biased for some reason.

Anyways, please stop pimping and blogwhoring your conservative musical crap over here, as it both sucks, and we don’t care.

thanks!

Sour grapes, anybody?

lowermanhattanite

you know what you are talking about. it is amazing how much impact giving a joke space has on good comedy. and a bunch of people yelling over each other is really unfunny. if you watch the view, you can note how everyone lets kathy griffin riff and lets her jokes sit there for a moment. these people are pros. when they discuss politics they yell over each other, but that’s a different vibe (and frankly, a stupid one as well. i hate that people aren’t allowed to complete coherent and cohesive thoughts on television political chat shows).

and i will echo many others in saying that we will be seeing every meme from rightblogistan on this show. every single one. robert byrd was in the kkk? check. hey, he’s 90 and has discussed how wrong he was, and he’s also built a lifetime of votes that show he had a change of heart, but…fuck it. and chappaquidick. and michael moore’s heft. and so on. i would love to see a show that had a different take on the news, a different angle, but the smugness and lack of real sharp one-liner talent on display here was miserable. and the format? is that what they came up with, four people sitting around a desk? pathetic. i know pros are working on that show on the production side–they should hang their heads in shame.

troll

your music is like wesley willis without the talent.

seriously.

you suck. a lot. i love music of all kinds. yours is just so fucking terrible it is embarrassing. go away, and stay away.

prozacula, if you’re the same musician who is jealous that its been so ostensibly easy for me to climb the charts and please at least one well-respected, ubiquitous critic (there have been a couple of others), then I’ll say this:

Don’t waste anytime with jealousy. Don’t get discouraged either. I commend you for your hard work. It will pay off one day. Try a little less perfectionism, try being a little less of a purist, try being a little less polished and a little more passionate. These things have worked for me. God bless you with your musical future. Hope to see you at the top of the charts!

I’m sorry Peter Green (if you’re not the same person), I forgot to address your vitriolic vomit…….oops, I mean your thoughtful, reflective, intelligently worded comment. Telling me to go away is just a welcome mat to me. Thou doth protest too much.

prozacula, if you’re the same musician who is jealous that its been so ostensibly easy for me to climb the charts and please at least one well-respected, ubiquitous critic (there have been a couple of others), then I’ll say this:

First of all, Prozacula is not me. He is just another of the many unfortunate souls who have stumbled across your pitiful music and found it to be unlistenable.

I’ve dealt with characters like you all my life– poseurs with zero musical talent who torture innocent people with the ceaseless foisting of their mediocrity. I live in Los Angeles, so I come across this all the time. You, however, are even worse than the most talentless, D-level rung of hacks who populate crap L.A. venues like The Gig Melrose, The Joint and the Kibitz Room. You don’t even suck in an interesting way like the aforementioned Wesley Willis.

You’re the musical version of Rupert Pupkin. I’m sure you put on little concerts for cardboard cutouts in your Mom’s basement just like Rupert. And you should know that for all your internet attention-whoring, 99% of the people you come across think you’re a joke and wish you would go away.

Hurr I made a joke about a vagina hurrrr

JK47, thanks for sharing your sour grapes with me, but I’m not very hungry right now. You may expect me to berate you back, but that’s not my nature.

Besides, I actually feel sorry for you, being transparently jealous of a mere troll like me, who happens to have climbed the charts to number one (not Billboard, but USA Today ain’t too shabby either) and gained the attention of at least one well-respected music critic.

It just goes to show that the work ethic in music is often over-rated. Approaching music as play is more fun, and often, more fruitful.

As far as my tunes sucking is concerned, it’s kind of like treasure. There’s lots of dirt and mud, but when you finally strike gold, it can be very rewarding. Not all have the patients to dig through all of the dirt to get to the gold, so I don’t blame you for your frustration.

I harbor no ill feelings towards musicians, even jealous ones who insult me to make themselves feel better about what they perceive to be their shortcomings. I hope your hard work pays off, and I hope to see you right there with me at the top of the charts!

being transparently jealous of a mere troll like me … jealous ones who insult me to make themselves feel better about what they perceive to be their shortcomings

Wow, as good a psychologist as you are a musician, I see. I hope you don’t really have your patients dig through your dirt.

hi, tigrismus! It’s been awhile since I’ve had the pleasure of your insults. If you are implying that I suck as a shrink just as I suck as a songwriter, then you’ve thrown nothing at me that I haven’t heard before and nothing that I can’t handle.

Surely, however, you can see that your feeble attempts to berate me have only further captured the interest of critics and the general public, many of whom also want to hate my music, but end up finding a gem or two in the stack of rubbish that they just can’t bring themselves to discard.

Yeah, I’m jealous of you, a person with absolutely zero musical career. Sure, that’s it. Dude, music has taken me all over the planet. I’ve played shows on four continents with one multi-platinum artist and two gold-certified artists. I even played on a gold-certified record, which means you get a gold record yourself. My gold record is hanging in my parents’ house. I’ve played with and earned the respect of scores of top musicians in Los Angeles, and am a well-known fixture in the Los Angeles music scene.

I’ve been on Leno five times, Letterman twice, The Late Late show with Craig Kilborn three times, HBO Reverb, Ellen and Last Call with Carson Daly three times. In 2006 alone I played at Staples Center, the Pepsi Center, American Airlines Arena, Philips Arena, CBGB’s and the Wiltern Theater. I have shared a stage with Peter Buck, Jackson Browne and Van Dyke Parks, and have opened for such artists as R.E.M., the Foo Fighters, the Dixie Chicks and Weezer.

I’ve also made my own solo album, which was released by a UK label and got reviewed favorably in Uncut Magazine and glossy indie mag Comes With A Smile. These are actual magazines with real circulation, not blogs written by some wingnut in Indiana.

So it makes perfect sense that I’d be jealous at the “success” of some hayseed from Bakersfield who writes what he even admits is mostly crap:

As far as my tunes sucking is concerned, it’s kind of like treasure. There’s lots of dirt and mud, but when you finally strike gold, it can be very rewarding. Not all have the patients to dig through all of the dirt to get to the gold, so I don’t blame you for your frustration.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

“Yeah, I’m jealous of you, a person with absolutely zero musical career. Sure, that’s it. Dude, music has taken me all over the planet. I’ve played shows on four continents with one multi-platinum artist and two gold-certified artists. I even played on a gold-certified record, which means you get a gold record yourself. My gold record is hanging in my parents’ house. I’ve played with and earned the respect of scores of top musicians in Los Angeles, and am a well-known fixture in the Los Angeles music scene.

I’ve been on Leno five times, Letterman twice, The Late Late show with Craig Kilborn three times, HBO Reverb, Ellen and Last Call with Carson Daly three times. In 2006 alone I played at Staples Center, the Pepsi Center, American Airlines Arena, Philips Arena, CBGB’s and the Wiltern Theater. I have shared a stage with Peter Buck, Jackson Browne and Van Dyke Parks, and have opened for such artists as R.E.M., the Foo Fighters, the Dixie Chicks and Weezer.

I’ve also made my own solo album, which was released by a UK label and got reviewed favorably in Uncut Magazine and glossy indie mag Comes With A Smile. These are actual magazines with real circulation, not blogs written by some wingnut in Indiana.”

Just trying to pimp your music resume, and I must reluctantly admit, it’s pretty damned impressive.

“some hayseed from Bakersfield”

That’s what they said about Merle Haggard and the late great Buck Owens too. And no, I ain’t no Merle and I ain’t no Buck, but I’m pretty damned good at being me—even on those occasions in which I suck. As I’ve mentioned, if you don’t like my music, you haven’t had enough to drink!

Berate? Someone perhaps has a teensy weensy little persecution complex in his panoply of quirks. I’m so glad my feeble insults have “further captured the interest of critics and the general public,” though, but I had no idea I had such influence. I will try to use my powers only for good. To that end, do let me persuade you to name your next album Die Kunst der Fuge.

Why does everybody think I understand German just because my last name is Thiessen.

If you want your insult to serve as a catalyst for shame, you’ll need to translate it for me. Why you’re at it, since you seem to be multi-lingual, can you translate this?

Ein Song über die Bee Gees von Dr. BLT [A SONG ABOUT THE BEE GEES BY DR. BLT] Dass Bee Gees Songs gecovert wurden und noch immer werden, ist nichts Neues.Da sind Überraschungen in jeder Hinsicht möglich (ohne die grässlichen und zumeist hochnotpeinlichen Bee Gees Cover Bands da mit einzubeziehen!), positive wie negative, interessante wie uninteressante.

Was andreres ist es allerdings, wenn ein Musiker einen Song über die Bee Gees schreibt. Warum auch immer er das tut. Der amerikanischen Musiker Dr. BLT hat auf seiner Webseite massenhaft Songs zum Anhören (und Kaufen), die allesamt mit Größen aus der Rock- und Popmusik zu tun haben, viele davon Eigenkompositionen, manches sind einfach Coverversionen.

Und natürlich hat er auch einen Song über die Bee Gees: Download. [And naturally, he also has a song about the Bee Gees: Download) Kategorien: Bee-Gees, Dr-BLT, Bee-Gees-Cover, Download, MP3

I didn’t assume you spoke German, but I did assume you knew how to use Google. I also wouldn’t have been surprised had you been aware of the title, as the original is fairly well-known.

If you are serious, the gist is that while Bee Gees cover bands are common, a musician writing a song about the Bee Gees is not. Your website is mentioned(I thought you were Canadian?) as having lots of songs having to do with rock/pop stars to download and buy, including a Bee Gees one.

Yes, I’m from Canada, and thanks for the translation. People send me this stuff in foreign languages and I’m having trouble enough understanding my own native Canadian-English tongue, eh? Forgive me, but can you translate this one. I’m sorry, everyone for getting so far off the topic. Maybe I should say something about the war. It’s a war that’s been poorly executed, and there is no good plan to get things back on track. If something good happens in Iraq, it will be something that happens diplomatically in the region. Now tigrismus, can you help with the translation? The likely Sadly no visitor who sent it must think I’m a genius that knows all languages.

Visitando la web Living With War Today, y más concretamente en el enlace Songs Of The Times que esta disponible para los internautas que quieran enviar una canción protesta sobre aspectos concernientes a la guerra o sobre la situación del momento en USA (lo cual es lo mismo que decir sobre este mundo globalizado), cabe destacar que esta página ha aumentado considerablemete su listado de canciones. Será que algo se mueve en el alma… cuando un amigo se va (y si no regresa ya ni te cuento).

Bueno, lo cierto es que hay algunas que merecen atención ya sea por el tema compuesto o por el título del mismo:

‘Neil Young (Have You Forgotten)’ – Dr. BLT
‘Red White & Blue’ – Gary Gates
‘Is There Any Real Peace Anymore?’ – Alimar

Y si hay alguno de vosotros que quiera enviar alguna canción protesta o algo parecido la dirección es songs@lwwtoday.com

..Y lo mismo sobre vídeos protesta disponibles. Y su dirección para enviarlos es videos@lwwtoday.com

por xisco, 18:49 Ver http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=17415149&postID=115281055820079527

OMG that was so unfuckingfunny it fucking HURTS. I can’t even remember what it is to laugh any more.

conservative humor.

Greg needs to put Julia Gorin and The America Show on Redeye. At least then there’d be some “it’s so bad it’s good” entertainment.