‘Also, I’ve Noticed The Blue Devils Inspire Universal Devotion’

Shorter David Brooks:

Above right: David Brooks discusses his favorite political philosopher (above left)

‘Children of Polarization’

  • If one were to extrapolate data collected in a course I taught last fall at Duke, today’s college students are pragmatic and centrist in a way I find both perfectly natural and entirely pleasing. (However, I suspect that untold millions of them haven’t completed their assigned readings.)

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Comments: 19


The U.S. is about to see a generation that is practical, anti-ideological, modest and centrist.

In other words, voter turnout will continue to get lower and lower.


See, he tried reality once, and he didn’t like it. He prefers cotton candy, tiny elephants with butterfly wings, and solipsism.


“He” = Brooks, of course. Not HemlockEcho, who is cynical but probably accurate.


As a reluctant Dookie (grad student), I shall contribute two deeply salient points

1) I overheard Brooks’ course referred to as “white people be drivin’ like this . . .” by undergrads on more than a few occasions.

2) while walking on the PlazaAtDuke (“where good things happen”) one day, Mr. Brooks dropped a tray carrying two coffees and and a sandwich. He then glared angrily about him, glanced at the mess, and kept walking towards the important people parking lot.

Hope this local data helps you make sense of the world.


“The U.S. is about to see a generation that is practical, anti-ideological, modest and centrist.”

I saw the worst bands of my generation
applied by magic marker to dry wall
I should be allowed to shoot my mouth off
I should have a call in show



Shorter Shorter David Brooks: the plural of ‘anecdote’ is ‘fat book advances’.


“today, I would like to discuss why I’m such a fucking dill-hole”


Laugh all you want, I’ve still made a mint with my bullshit-filled prose on my personal invention, the bohemian bourgoisie.


Enough about David Brooks. What do you think of David Brooks?


Say, who’s that good-looking fellow up on the screen? Why, it’s me!


It’s like the clockwork, isn’t it? The exact moment that the wind shifts, and the pendulum starts swinging the other way, the right suddenly decides that sensible, pragmatic, bipartisan, anti-polarized centrism is the wave of the future. Now that the shoe’s on the other foot, all of sudden it’s very important to not get very excited about anything political, it’s all just a game, real sophisticates understand the whole tweedledee-tweedledum dynamic here, and the appropraite response is jaded indifference. Nice to see Ann Althouse’s shtick make it to the big leagues.

Whatever happened to all that culture war talk? Aren’t we under the imminent threat of becoming dhimmis in the global caliphate? I thought we were supposed to be fighting an epic clash of civilizations here!

Innocent Bystander

Poor bastard, I fear age will not wear on him well.


Furthermore, it seems as if today’s youth are fond of white baseball caps and wandering campus with a lacrosse stick in hand. They also tend to want to go to business school and look real sharp in their unbuttoned blue dress shirts worn over ‘ironic’ t-shirts with duke sports mesh shorts and non-birk, fuckin hippies, sandals over clean white socks.
*reminds self high school was over a decade ago and calms down*


total non sequitur:

My insight for the day on the diff between the Democrats and the Republicans is that if you’re walking down the street on a dark night, the crazy eviul Republican thug is the guy who jumps out of the bushes, throws you to the ground and begins to rape you savagely. As you yell and scream for help, the Democrat is the guy who runs over……and proceeds to scold the Republican for not using a condom.


Shorter David Brooks –

The radical rightwing revolution I espoused in foreign and domestic policy humiliatingly fell ass backwards down the spiral staircase and landed straight onto the pavement. Thank God we were really all closet centrists!


Alternately –

Exactly what FMguru said.


Naw, that picture’s up there for the daily Two Minute Hate.


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