Dan Riehl, Bananas, Insert Usual Title

Dan Riehl, ever one for a manufactured controversy, remounts the Amanda-bashing bandwagon and lets roar his sly trombone.

This time it’s about Amanda’s Flickr photos, which are allusive of some kind of deeply incisive, uh, insight-thingy:

Monday, February 05, 2007


She has got to be kidding, I hope?

On the one hand she portrays herself as part of the liberated female neo-castrati, but inside imagines herself as some vixen, her career existing a notch above the skin trade? Just image google Shannon Elizabeth, you’ll get the drift.

That’s one crazy, um, interesting gal ya got there, John.

Hey man, flaunt it if you got it.



Comments: 77


You can expect to hear from Tor Johnson’s estate. He was never as ugly and stupid as Dan Riehl, and to compare the two is libel.


You can expect to hear from Tor Johnson’s estate. He was never as stupid and ugly as Dan Riehl, and to compare the two is libel.


ive been reading and post at riehls site for the past few days and well

it gets old after awhile

because you start to feel sorry for riehl who is a lonely stupid man

check out his investigation into hot hungarian chicks



And not just a vixen, but a wicked lead guitarist gay male actor vixen. Man, that Amanda Marcotte sure is a weirdo.


riehl sad and lonely

this post followed a post about keith olbermann’s sexual prowess

man this guy’s a loser


Make up your mind, Amanda… fit into the false dichotomy of the Right, won’t you? You’re either a pant-suited-stay-at-home-cookie-baker like Laura or a childless-neocon-puppet like Condi.



“liberated female neo-castrati”

Eh? Do Riehl’s colourless green ideas sleep furiously?


Wait, what the–? Er, I thought she posted that Elizabeth insert as a joke. There was nothing “vixeny” about this pose, she was just having fun.

You know what fun is, don’t you, Riehl and Malkin?


Dan Riehl doesn’t want to have sex with me. So he says.

I am so, so, so torn up. Ignore the bounce in my step and the song in my heart. They lie.


I’m wondering if Riehl is clear on the concept of what castrati are.

Or that the singular of the word is “castrato.” And there’s no such thing as a castrata.


Why do you always run a photo of Dan “Un” Riehl right after he’s pulled his head out of his ass? Huh?



site is borken


Well, I think “castrati” is correct, since she’s apparently one single part of “the neo-castrati”; i.e. a group of neo-castratos. If she was part of “the neo-castrato” wouldn’t that make her, like, part of some voltron-esque gestalt entity?

On the other hand… that would allmost make more sense then talking about a woman being a castrato. Do you think he meant to say that she’s a psycho castrating bitch, or that she has an incredibly shril, obnoxious voice?

Or something else entirely?


Seriously, what am I supposed to take away from Riehl’s post? That because someone put their photo next to one of Shannon Elizabeth she must not be serious about her feminist beliefs? Someone help me out here.


What’s this, you mean “Amanda Marcotte” is really secretly Shannon Alexander?! Wow, whatta scoop! I’d never have guessed. I suppose she’s trying to keep her political activism separate from her career in cinema. Very professional!

Well anyway, thanx Dan Riehl, for suggesting that Google images link. Woo-eee, hubba-hubba, I’m a vote for John Edwards twice now, fo sho!


site is borken

Bork! Bork! Bork!


Seriously, what am I supposed to take away from Riehl’s post?

That he’s a trivial, misogynist asshole threatened by Amanda Marcotte, what she represents and what she’s working to accomplish, both with her blog and her work with the Edwards campaign. There really isn’t much else beyond that.


Does this kind of go hand in hand with Cavuto’s obsession with strippers and other chikz0rs?


Tor was more intelligent in Plan 9…even after he was turned into one of the mindless undead.


Tor has better hair, and can probably run faster.


He must get laid, like, you know, never.


Castrati? I don’t think that word means what he thinks it means (unless Amanda got a gig with the Vienna Boy’s Choir).

It follows standard Wingnut logic, though. In a mind where “freedom” means, above all, the freedom to hurt and oppress, sexual liberation has to mean “objectively pro-wee-wee-cutting”

Fuckers are crazy. What’re you gonna do?


Personally, I couldn’t give a shit what Dan Riehl thinks about Amanda, or what Amanda thinks about herself, for that matter.

The right-wing noise machine, proudly lowering political discourse to junior high gossip since 1968!


voltron-esque gestalt entity

That’s fucking quotable, man.


Whatever it is about Amanda that makes wingnut saddoes go even more batshit…

long may it continue. (As long as there are sufficient restraining orders in place.)


Tor no like gurlz!


Yes, Amanda, that’s it: People make fun of you because you won’t fuck them (rolls eyes).


Sorry for the double post at the lead-off position. The intertubes must’ve been clogged when I tried those, because neither one came through at first.


liberated female neo-castrati

sounds like somebody’s been watching Casanova on Masterpiece Theater



I think the “neo-castrati” remark was deliberate. The neo-castrati, in Riehl’s apparent world view, are women who have stepped outside their gender roles and become men without the proper plumbing. See, women cease to be real women when they step into a man’s place, like becoming a popular political blogger.

This explains his indignation/amusement over Amanda comparing herself to Shannon Elizabeth, even in jest: by his logic, she’s trying to have her cake and eat it too.

Although I do admit getting a giggle out of the image of foppish pirate Riehl, preparing for a swordfight in a dusty blacksmith’s shop, leaning over to Amanda and asking “You’re not a eunuch, are you?”


Let’s see if I’ve got this… Amanda M. finds it amusing that a photo-matching program compares a photo of herself to a photo of Shannon Elizabeth, so she puts up a screencap of the result (which puts the two photos together) on flickr. But wait! Shannon E. once posed for Playboy, which makes her an OMG FILTHY HOR! So Amanda is therefore an OMG FILTHY HOR! by association.

Oh yeah, no issues there…


I too didn’t think Dan doesn’t know what castrati are.

Did any see that Neil Cavuto clip on the Daily Show. He was doing a story on the finances of Hooters and is in studio with about 5 Hooters girls.


Don’t mind Lobo. He’s as harmless as a kitchen.


Yes, Amanda, that’s it: People make fun of you because you won’t fuck them (rolls eyes).

Of course, she didn’t say what you’ve attributed to her, but don’t worry, accuracy is wildly overrated.


Yes, Amanda, that’s it: People make fun of you because you won’t fuck them (rolls eyes).

Well, it’s as good a reason as any. More than likely even better than the Riehl reason.


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Zee seete-a isn’t brukee, it’s joost sloo und keeps epulugeezing tu Pettereecu vhee hees guelpust mufes. Um gesh dee bork, bork!


he’s an idiot. http://pandagon.net/2006/06/30/faces-of-pandagon/

Wait a second, everyone. There’s a serious ethical issue with that post about Pandagon bloggers and computer facial-recognition programs. Never mind the Amanda/ Shannon Elizabeth thing — or the even more damaging Amanda/ George Harrison thing. That post includes a photo of Jesse Taylor! Even though he was working for Democrats at the time!!! If Danny Glover ever finds out about this, he’ll call for the revocation of Amanda’s FCC license. Or something.


Don’t forget Tor from the 1970’s saturday morning show “70,000 BC”





Yes, Amanda, that’s it: People make fun of you because you won’t fuck them (rolls eyes).

Something ate my last post, so I’ll try again:

I try to remember that not everyone commenting on blogs is a native english-speaker. This must be the case with Jim, as he has attibuted to Amanda comments she did not make. I prefer to believe this is due to a lack of experience and expertise with the english language, rather than carelessness or dishonesty.


Of course! I don’t know why I didn’t make the visual connection, since I always hear Tor’s voice when I read Dan’s writing.


Naw, the suggestion is that feminists are all frigid bitches who won’t have sex with Dan Riehl.

Mehitable the Abyssinian

And there’s no such thing as a castrata.
Cats do not do euphemisms. We prefer to call a spayed a spayed.


Oh, and by the way, the photo in question has Shannon Elizabeth inset because there was a thread on Pandagon where everyone ran pictures of themselves through a “face-matching” website. That was one of the matches it made. If I recall, another of her photos was matched to Rupert Everett, and she made a similar display with that photo. The only way that this possibly could have been taken out of context is if Riehl was combing through Amanda’s photos, desperately looking for something even remotely incriminating.


Worth repeating:

Dan Riehl on hot hungarian chicks:


Oh, baby!

Did Reihl say something about Ms. Marcotte? I must have been distracted by the hot hungarian chick with a machine gun. Sorry.



we are SO winning this thing


Tor like meatballs!



we SO have this thing won


Djur, provider of simple context, and thus Ridiculosity Obliteratereur(ix) du Jour.

I recall trying that same online generator thingie. It crashed my computer right after serving up Ruth Buzzi or some other such mythical creature. Stupid internets.


I like the part where Malkin posts about the horrors of Pandagon deleting old posts to clean up Amanda’s image before she starts working for the Edwards campaign, and then says it’s even worse than that when someone points out that the original posts are still available.

Mmm, that’s good wingnuttery.  You can’t make shit like this up, these people defy the boundaries of fiction.


his wabside is down

Herr Doktor Bimler

The downsite is webbed.
Hang on, that’s a duck. Sorry — easy mistake to make.


Teh Site said,

February 5, 2007 at 20:52

site is borken

Bork! Bork! Bork!

Bjork! Bjork! Bjork!

*waves at Dr. Marita*

Ganesh Bengal Cat is no longer speaking with Mehitabel the Abyssinian, and her IMs are now officially blocked, btw.

He has been ‘tutored’ as Gary Larson put it, but any Abyssinian female who has been spayed obviously is looking for consequence-free sex and is therefore a slut.

I remember that face-comparison thing. Someone should run Dan Riehl’s photo through that sucker and see what giggles ensue. I think one of my matches was that shoe-gazing little dweeb from Weezer.

Teh Ick.


Bark Bark!

Bark! Bark Bark!

Bark Bark! Bark Bark! Bark Bark!

[Damnit Timmy!, the comment server fell down a well]


Its got to be a fetish.

Herr Doktor Bimler

Just image google Shannon Elizabeth
I knew that Riehl would come up with a useful suggestion if you read enough of his columns.


Dan is a fun man. When the net gets boring, you can always check in to watch him out-stupid himself.


I think I’ve figured it out! In Dan’s world, there weren’t men and women so much as men and non-men*. All he knew about the non-men is that they didn’t have testicles and penises (peni?), so he thought they were castrati. At some point, someone probably tried to set him straight, so he started calling the not-men “female castrati”. He just couldn’t get the concept of “female” without that comforting old fallacy of “castrati”.

Now, Dan likes the old kind of ‘castrati’ who shave their armpits, wear makeup and just listen to him pontificate without any sort of criticism in their pretty little heads. Amanda, however, isn’t so demure and compliant. So, he calls her a “female neo-castrati” just because he’s the kind of guy who is careful about classifications and this new kind of non-man is just confusing to him (I mean, why not neo-female castrati? Wouldn’t that make more sense”?).

*h/t to The General!


also don’t forget Drew Friedman’s comic book “Any Similarities To Persons Living or Dead is Purely Coincidental”, featuring lotsa Tor.


“Bela, how many Tor?”


I’d hit it.

Yeah, keep hope alive, fatso. If somebody blinds, lobotomizes and cripples her you might stand a chance.


Yes, Amanda, that’s it: People make fun of you because you won’t fuck them (rolls eyes).

If I said something so boring, you’d have a point. But I didn’t. I said that Dan Riehl doesn’t want to, and for some reason he thinks this news should be treated as anything but the good news it is. Please don’t hit me up for sex, Dan! I don’t know what I’d do!


Oh, I think he’ll stick to beating off to your picture like he’s been doing.

Maybe photoshop your head on his favorite pics.

But you don’t think he talks to women, do you.


Are we sure dan isn’t just an Onion character run amok?


Sporty said,

He just couldn’t get the concept of “female� without that comforting old fallacy of “castrati�.

Wouldn’t that make it a phallusy?


FYI, that link goes to the Electronic Frontier Foundation; it’s not random spam. I wouldn’t do that to anyone. 😀

Herr Doktor Bimler

Ganesh Bengal Cat is no longer speaking with Mehitabel the Abyssinian… any Abyssinian female who has been spayed obviously is looking for consequence-free sex
If the injuries on my arm are any guide, what Mehitabel is looking for is consequence-free random psychotic violence, but she will settle for consequence-free catnip.


Can’t Richard Mellon Scaife send a few bucks Dan’s way so that he can either (a) buy a rug that doesn’t look like it’s made of lacquer, or (b) get a haircut that doesn’t make him look like he’s wearing a bad rug?




Why does Ruth Buzzi hate America so much?

Lookit The Happy Monkey

Dan Riehl does too get it on with the ladies.

He has all the receipts to prove it!

And the gimp mask…


I like that in the comments Dan says he still thinks Amanda is attractive, even if he doesn’t want to sex her up. See, that makes it ok. He may have fallen prey to assuming part of how we take the measure of any female in the public sphere is whether Dan Riehl would want the chance to leave her sexually unsatisfied, but at least he didn’t mean to say she’s ugly. He didn’t treat her as a sexual object to demean her, I mean sheesh.


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