Hi. I’m director-schlockmeister Mel Gibson. When I started out as an actor-hunk, I never dreamed I’d one day add my contribution to a genre of filmmaking that’s been decidedly unspiritual in its rendering of sublime themes and subject matter. Typified by excessive hype, controversy, all around bad feeling and, dare I say it, BOFFO BOX OFFICE out of proportion to its quality and substance, I’m proud to say that my recent film, Mad Pax, The Passion, is now a crappy classic in a historically crappy genre.

But right now, I want to ask everyone to put all that “Good Friday” tsouris behind us — did I say that right? — and concentrate on the simple joys of Easter day. Let’s unite in a joyful celebration of Spring after a long hard Winter and look forward to a year of joy and prosperity. Let’s think of fresh green grass and frolicking baby animals, which like many symbols of the day represent Life’s perpetual renewal. Share some traditional delights like brightly colored eggs and sweet treats with your kids, because children embody what the day is all about. And in the spirit of giving, allow me to share with you an Easter dish that’s become part of my family tradition and I hope will become part of yours.

It’s called Cassoulet Lapin au Romarin or Rabbit Stew with Rosemary, a succulent, easy to prepare dish of rabbit, sausage and fresh spring beans, delicately scented with rosemary and bay leaf. It’s simple to prepare but your family and guests will think you endured extreme torture, slaving over a hot stove while brawny centurions flogged you senseless. If you’re unfamiliar with the traitorous French language, here’s the Franglais translation.

And please, if you don’t enjoy rabbit or have never tried it, do reconsider. It’s a lean, sweet meat that lends itself, as does game generally, to robust full-bodied flavors and hearty accompaniments. If you’re a hunter, set traps or aim your gun at some wild coney. Or do it Cheney style: set a few of the tame little buggers free in a penned enclave and open fire on them with totally legal and patriotic automatic weapons. Even horrendous sportsmen like Cheney and his hunting buddy Fat Tony Scalia should bag a few. If you’re watching your cholesterol, this pays off double for you, as the rabbit is both low in the artery clogging goo plus wily enough to give you a waddle in the fresh air that will do your ticker good.

Preparing them requires nothing more than a simple flaying, disjointing and pounding down of the parts. Before you know it, your kitchen will be filled with a delectable aroma that will drive your family and guests wild with anticipation. And lo, there will be wailing and lamenting like the sound of underpaid extras on the set of a biblical epic for you to get the stuff on the table already. A few recipe notes, if you can’t find Toulouse sausage, use chorizo, Macedonian or Italian sausage instead. Rosemary infused olive oil can be replaced with simple olive oil and fresh rosemary instead.

And there you have it, Cassoulet Lapin au Romarin, from my table to yours. Enjoy it with a crusty baguette and a crisp salad of microgreens dressed with a mustard vinaigrette, or as part of a more complex buffet. A musky, woody wine would be a nice accompaniment, or a crisp Pilsener lager. And whether my movie has you wallowing in a self-indulgent sense of false spiritual suffering — or, in the case of Jews, cinephiles, or people appalled by how I’m coarsening the culture, excrutiating real pain from my film — you can always try the dish with a sponge soaked in vinegar and bile. Whatever way you like it, it’s a delish dish. Cheerio, mates! Mel.

(Inspired by this Easter incident. If you have any difficulty with the Franglais translation, I’ll add a more legible one in an extension to this post. Happy Easter!)