You Gotta be Shitting Me

Hooray for Kangaroo Courts at Gitmo:

The Pentagon has drafted a manual for upcoming detainee trials that would allow suspected terrorists to be convicted on hearsay evidence and coerced testimony and imprisoned or put to death.

According to a copy of the manual obtained by The Associated Press, a terror suspect’s defense lawyer cannot reveal classified evidence in the person’s defense until the government has a chance to review it.

The manual, sent to Capitol Hill on Thursday and scheduled to be released later by the Pentagon, is intended to track a law passed last fall by Congress restoring President Bush’s plans to have special military commissions try terror-war prisoners.

I would like to give every representative and senator who voted for this bill a big round of applause. I thank you, the American system of justice thanks you, and Judge Kang thanks you:

“G’day! I can’t bloody wait to execute these bastards usin’ cruddy evidence! How ’bout a root?”

Here’s teh bestest part though:

Last September, Congress — then led by Republicans — sent Bush a bill granting wide latitude in interrogating and detaining captured enemy combatants. The legislation also prohibited some of the worst abuses of detainees like mutilation and rape, but granted the president leeway to decide which other interrogation techniques are permissible.

Losers. What a pathetic pack of losers.

The new Congress had better have the stones to stand up to this stuff.


Comments: 23


Nothing makes me want to wave a tiny American flag more than a death sentence based on coerced testimony from a secret prison.

“This is ouuuuurrrrrrrrr country…….”


Judge Kang, how would you like a job as a U.S. Attorney? You’ve clearly got the right stuff for the position.


If Kafka were alive today he’d be a very rich man just from the licensing fees. My favorite bit of late is the Bush administration’s attempt to block lawyers’ access to detainees in CIA prisons because they might reveal the “alternative interrogation methods” the CIA used to get them to talk.

It’s the “If We Didn’t Torture You Then You Could Have A Lawyer And We Could Act Like Americans” legal parry.

Joseph Margulies, a Northwestern University law professor who has represented several detainees at Guantanamo, said the prisoners “can’t even say what our government did to these guys to elicit the statements that are the basis for them being held. Kafka-esque doesn’t do it justice. This is ‘Alice in Wonderland.’ “ Here.


The problem, of course, is that they passed over the distinguished jurist Judge Kangaroo Jack, whose work on international money transfers is second to none.


Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.


Given that around a dozen current Democratic Senators voted for the Military Commissions Act, I think repeal is unlikely.


Yes, if there’s one thing Congressional Democrats are known for it’s political courage. I almost typed that without laughing.


Well, everyone knows America would be much better off as a Fascist Dictatorship, just as long as rich white men are in charge.


If anyone here wants to flip on Brad, Gavin, Retardo, Travis or Seb, now’s your chance!


“The new Congress had better have the stones to stand up to this stuff.”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha….that was FUNNY!

…ain’t gonna happen.


“We’ve got hearsay, conjecture, and excited utterances extracted by waterboarding… those are KINDS of evidence.”


Evidence-related anecdotes.


Any ex-JAGs in the house? This sounds like standard rules of evidence for proceedings under the military code.


I gotta agree with the esteemed karl rove II. The politicians are too afraid of looking “soft on terror” to make any adjustments to this stalinesque piece of legislation. They (at least the ones who care about right and wrong, as opposed to winning and losing) are going to sit back and wait for the courts to “force” them to reluctantly allow these people the minimum rights they absolutely must.

But y’know what? That doesn’t bother me. Or rather, sure it does, I guess it doesn’t SURPRISE me. Like the snake the woman carried halfway across the river, it is their nature. For me, here’s the scary part. The PEOPLE don’t care. The people say “their just muslim terrorists, who cares?”. The people say “the government knows what they’re doing”. Unless the people begin to recognize that this erosion of civil liberties and equal justice DOES apply to them, does affect them, does MATTER, the politicians will have no compelling reason to take on this issue, fraught with all manner of career risk as it is.

Nope, they just don’t seem to make slopes slippery as they used to…



Earlier this week, facing questions concerning Australian detainee David Hicks, who’s been in Quantanamo for 5 years, Australian government ministers were insisting that the trials would be fair and impartial.

Then, when confronted with evidence that David Hicks, due to his treatment at Guantanamo, was no longer mentally fit to stand trial, the Australian Foreign Minister claimed he’d received a report from an official that stated Hicks was in fine psychological health. It turned out the “report” came from an official at the U.S Embassy in Australia who was treated to a 3 minute display of David Hicks during on of those guided tours of Guantanamo.


I’m glad Congress was at least able to stand up to the powerful pro-rape lobby.


“You can Guru, you can!”



and mikey, the slopes are as slippery as ever, we just started further down than we thought we were.


And people wonder why I couldn’t bring myself to vote in this last election for any Democrat who had signed off on MCA.

Luckily for me, my senatorial race in Florida was a done deal, what with it being between Bill Nelson and the Evil Clown of the Century. I don’t know what I would’ve done if it had been an actual contest.

Herr Doktor Bimler

Judge Kang is in the pocket of the cruddy-evidence lobby.


Kangaroo were hopping mad at this sort of talk. she thought herself
Far superior in intelligence to the others. she was their leader.


But, The Terrorists would do the same to US! Which why he have to fight to stop them! They’re so barbaric! So we have to do it… oh wait. Shit.


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