News you can’t use

The AP reports:

New airport screening technology that was trotted out Tuesday was supposed to let passengers keep their footwear on while passing through security. […]

But all shoes with metal must still be removed for additional screening because the agency has not approved the devices’ ability to distinguish between safe and unsafe metals, said Shawn Dagg, Verified Identity Pass senior vice president. […]

Dagg said he hopes customers will learn to wear shoes without metal. [Emphasis added.]

Thanks, Dagg!


Comments: 35


Yeah, I think that’s the reason I get hit by every “random” bag search and security measure when flying down in the states: Metal shanks shaped somewhat like daggers were in the soles of my boots when I went through Portland International Jetport 2 months after 9/11.

Needless to say, until my boots went through the X-ray machine, I had no idea what was in them. So good luck consumers! Remember to buy that hand-dandy metal detector rod wen buying a new pair of shoes!


I, for one, feel much safer to know that the Department of Homeland Security is vigorously, if ineptly, locking the barn doors after the reputed horsies/terrorists have already gone.


Dagg said he hopes customers will learn to wear shoes without metal.

Eventually there will be a rebellion, and Dagg will be saying that he hopes customers eventually will learn to wear shoes.


Dagg, yo.


Awww… but my in-flight tapdancing performances!!!


Yeah, fucking uppity customers. What kind of crazy arrogant bastards expect to wear shoes when they are traveling? Next they’ll be complaining about the anal probes!


When i worked in a factory that produced high-end shoes for women, one of my jobs on the assembly line was to insert a thin, flexible, blade-like strip of metal between the sole and insole. Pretty standard, I think…


While we’re slagging airport security, don’t miss the kiddo who flew from Seattle to San Antonio without a ticket…



if it weren’t for those anal probes you might try to use the restroom during the flight and get your guts ripped out. It’s a novel approach to Public Health. I read it on the internet.


Quite honestly, when I go through security, I take off my watch, glasses, belt, hat, shoes, and pretty much everything else besides my pants and shirt. The 20 seconds it takes me to put that stuff back on is a lot less of a bother than the five minutes spent waiting for the person with the wand to get to me when I’ve set off the ridiculously sensitive metal detectors.

I find it all to be a pretty minor inconvenience. It’s much less of a bother than the fact that the airline to whom I’ve just paid $350 for a plane ticket wants to stick me for another $5 for some thirty cent headphones.

Why do football players who carry pot in hidden compartments in their water bottles not get arrested?? This guy was allowed to board his flight!!!!

Shameful, any one of us would have been rightfully arrested on the spot.


Per NPR: the best thing about the shoe scanner is it’s currently part of a “get through quick” program that costs a hundred bucks to get into. $100 to let you leave your shoes on, only not.


Shameful, any one of us would have been rightfully arrested on the spot.

Not necessarily. I’m a musician and thus I fly around a lot with various degenerates. One time, not long after 9/11, we had to fly, and a member of the crew (lighting guy) had about an eighth of weed. He said, “fuck it,” threw it in his carry-on and tried to go through the security line. He didn’t even try to stuff it in a pocket or anything, just threw it in his duffel. Sure enough, he got the “random” security search, so his bag had to be searched. The African-American lady who searched his duffel immediately saw the weed. She just laughed– SHE LET HIM KEEP THE WEED! Unbelievable.


That is unbelievable.

However, not only did he have weed, he had it in a hidden compartment in a water bottle which he at first refused to hand over to the security people.

He definately should have been held and not allowed on the flight.

Herr Doktor Bimler

I refuse to believe that “Shawn Dagg” is a real name. It was clearly made up by Retardo, possibly for his other identity as a gangsta rapper.


That airport lady is my current new hero for the afternoon. She let him keep the weed! God bless her.

Shit, is that too obvious?

You forget one important fact of existence in these United States: people with lots of money are just intrinsicly more important than us pleabs. And celebrities? Even more so. And football players in the South? Stand back, son, and be thankful they let you breath.


However, not only did he have weed, he had it in a hidden compartment in a water bottle which he at first refused to hand over to the security people.

What’s really lame is that everyone knows you’re supposed to hide your weed in little baggies that you then place in a bottle of shampoo.


Gavin M without the period is, well, annieangel with the period. DNFTT.


I don’t mind the security lines either. But I am seriously annoyed by the fact that someone has pawed around in my checked baggage. It’s always got the yellow TSA seal on it. Pisses me off. So now, when I’m returning from my trip, and therefore the clothes are not clean and fresh, I like to turn the underwear inside out and arrange it on top of everything else. If they’re gonna dig around in my shit, they can bloody well dig around in my shit!!



Expensive leather hand-crafted shoes frequently have metal shanks (and heels, if they’re stillettos). Cheap mass-market plastic shoes and most sneakers don’t. Ergo, by TSA logic, only the higher class of flyers — those who can afford the extra bucks for the ‘quick board’ line — should be entitled to keep their shoes on, because those of us in the cheap seats have no dignity to lose. However, like all classic bureaucracies, the TSA is incapable of competently achieving its most nefarious ends. Therefore, instead of giving The Better People the expensive opportunity to keep their Chos and Maglis on, the TSA is now reduced to demanding that business travellers buy some cheap-arse slip-ons to avoid upsetting the TSA’s magic wands. Home Land Security: putting the “reductio” in reductio ad absurdum


What about the degenerates who WANT to go through the body cavity search line?

C’mon, we’re all liberals here…there must be a perv or two. We’ll never finish the destruction of American culture if there isn’t.


I flew with a nug in my wallet once.

I got stopped for having scissors and a lighter in my backpack.

That was the closest I’ve ever come to fainting.


Dang, Dagg, don’t dog the duds.


There’s metal in a shoe bomb? I think I missed something.Ëœ


I don’t wear the shoes that i know have metal in them when I’m flying. That’s really not that hard to figure out. If you’re a rare flyer, then it makes sense you wouldn’t necessarily know which shhoes have metasl in them.

Seriously, does anyone, even before this, wear their steel-toed boots when they’re flying? I have a couple of pairs. I pack them or don’t bring them. Again, not that hard to figure.


The things we’ll do to ignore that Islam is the problem, huh?


Temple, it’s not the workboots or Doc Martens the TSA was targeting. Most high-end men’s business brogues have metal shanks, as do high-priced name-brand-designer ladies’ pumps, but you can’t tell whether any particular pair will set off the metal detectors just by looking at them. (Yes, all things considered, metal-enhanced shoe lasts will weigh more than metal-free shoes, but if all your shoes are expensive leather models and/or you’re dealing with ladies shoes of widely varying styles, picking out the TSA-approved models ain’t easy.)

Business-class travellers resent having to surrender their expensive leather shoes and stand on cold vinyl flooring in their all-natural-materials socks. The TSA, ever eager to bow to the will of its best-paying customers, decreed that “shoe wands” would be purchased for the quick-load-surcharge line precisely so that the kind of people who have never had to understand the construction of their expensive leather shoes could breeze on by the screeners, serene in their ongoing ignorance. The TSA/Homeland Security, in its predictable Bush League incompetence, “forgot” to specify that the shoe wands purchased at great expense should be able to tell the difference between a Manolo Blahnik stilletto (good) and a generic “trainer” hiding a shiv or a bomb.

But on the *bright* side, this is creating another niche market for profit-centered exploitation! At least one high-end-mens-business-shoe catalog is now labelling the few TSA-approved best-quality models specifically for the business-class traveller who’s tired of all that lacing and unlacing! Just as Ziploc is now advertising in the lifestyle magazines that its quart-sized freezer bags have been “approved by the TSA” — I kid you not.


I had to fly right after they changed the rules somewhat, and it became “voluntary” to take off ones shoes.

The underpaid functionary at the metal detector made that quite clear; it was recommended but not mandatory. I was free to choose.

I chose to keep my shoes on, and was promptly subjected to a full body search. I was also required to remove my shoes, and they were X-rayed.

The next time that happens, I’m going to enjoy the pat down a little TOO much.

“Oh yeah, right there, right there. I love the feel of the back of your hand. Oh no, don’t stop.”


See, Ed, THAT’S what I’m talkin bout!!

That’s the spirit!

You’ll end up in Gitmo, man. Nice knowing ya. Thanks for taking one for the team.


edsappliance, that happened to me too. i was shoved into a plexiglass box between screeners when i opted to leave my 1/2 inch thick flip flops on after they said it was “recommended” that i remove them…and then they flipped the sides of the box up and left me there for a few minutes…it was awesome!

Herr Doktor Bimler

Recycled shamelessly from one of Flying Rodent’s comment threads:
Let’s just say that I’m usually the passenger called out of the boarding line for the pat-down and the scan with the bomb-detector wand. It happens so often, I’m developing a taste for it, and it would be nice to acquire one of them little wands — and a Airport Security uniform — so that Penny and I could play kinky little role-playing games. Too much information?
Herr Doktor Bimler | 11.30.06 – 1:50 am | #

Mrs. Rodent and I have been known to play such kinky airport games also.

First, she makes me sit in one corner of the room not smoking for about an hour and a half, then she takes my belt, my shoes, my watch, my phone and impounds any liquids I have. Then makes me sit on the other side of the room not smoking for another hour.

It’s pretty perverted, I’m just glad that I post pseudonymously.
Flying Rodent | Homepage | 11.30.06 – 3:16 am | #


The innocent vision that used to spring to mind when I thought about German doctors is now smirched.


Kevin said, January 19, 2007 at 4:08

“The things we’ll do to ignore that Islam is the problem, huh?”

Kevin has joined Gary and is now phoning it in…what happend to the trolls we knew and loved.


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