Blogs for Bush: Once More Into the Fray
I will be a very sad man on the day that Mark Noonan decides to hang up his blogging cleats. Check out this one:
This doesn’t mean that America’s patience is endless – there is a need for a clear cut sense of victory in Iraq within the next few months (say by end of September, at the latest).
Wake me up when September ends. By then Mark will be arguing that Bush deserves a third term in office to get the job done in Iraq.
(Also note that he doesn’t say we need “victory,” but rather a “sense of victory.” This is a very important distinction that will lead to further hilarity later in the piece.)
President Bush understands this, and thus the increase in troop levels and the adjustment of tactics to fight a much more relentless war against those who are causing the trouble in Iraq. The reason why I said “sense of victory” is because while the left is saying that Iraq is a defeat, it isn’t – but the public perception has become that it is, if not a defeat, a horrendous situation deteriorating by the minute. The sense of victory will come quietly – when there’s not much to report, violence-wise, in Iraq for a month or six weeks. This doesn’t mean no violence at all, but a level of violence which doesn’t rise to the “gotta cover it on the nightly news” level.
Mark, wouldn’t it just be easier to kill every last journalist in the countr… hmm, maybe I shouldn’t be giving him ideas…
That happens, and as one commenator noted, President Bush will have turned the small window of opportunity he has into a much larger window of opportunity – to deal with the rest of the immedate War on Terrorism issues.
And then seek a third term in office! C’mon, Mark, say it! You know you want to.
It is vital that we quickly bring Iraq to a semblance of order – because we must deal with Iran, and deal with it soon. It is my view that whomever is elected President in 2008 – Republican or Democrat – will not have the courage to deal decisively with Iran. While a pleasant surprise may be in store for us on January 20th, 2009…
I.e., Bush stages a coup to stay in power. You can tell Mark gets a big ol’ stiffy just thinking about it.
…we can’t count on getting someone with President Bush’s rare courage to risk his whole political career on doing the right thing.
Yeah, Bush is clearly a courageous man for risking his political career (not to mention thousands of other peoples’ lives) on an unpopular neo-colonial war.
More than likely, whomever comes in next will have their eye too firmly fixed on 2012 to risk something as large as a confrontation with Iran. So, President Bush will have to do it – and do it before the pressures of the 2008 Presidential campaign make it nearly impossible to initiate action (this means that we have to make our move, if we are to make one, no later than the end of January, 2008).
So, per Mark, we have exactly one year to:
a.) Make it appear that we’re winning in Iraq for roughly one month so we can…
b.) …use to appearance of victory to launch a preemptive war with Iran, thus leading to…
c.) …a third term for Bush! W00T!
We shall have to see how things play out – all we down at our level can do is keep a stout heart and pray that our leaders (all of them, even the Democrats) are given wisdom by God to perceive the right course of action and the courage to act on it.
If we asked for God’s advice on American foreign policy, I would hope that “invade another country on false pretense” would be close to the bottom of his list.
But do keep one thing in mind – something that I’ve been yammering on about for nearly four years: look far beyond the daily buzz. Don’t pay attention so much to what the MSM says people are saying, but try to find out what people are doing.
Like, wow, man. The media, like, want us to think a certain way, but you’ve got to like open up your mind and POW! see the universe through action rather than words.
I swear, Mark Noonan is just an ex-hippie who never came down from a bad acid trip…
We should also hand out highly polished shields to the Troops so they can blind their enemies as needed. Then while they are blinded the Troops can run up and tap them on the left shoulder and then the Troops can run around the other way and slip into Iran and declare “olly olly oxen free”! Then Game Over and the Middle-east will blossom into a Oil ladened land of milk and money.
This doesn’t mean no violence at all, but a level of violence which doesn’t rise to the “gotta cover it on the nightly news� level.
Shorter Mark Noonan: I don’t care if people die, I just don’t want to hear about it.
His equation is wrong – the Friedman Unit is six months long, not eight.
Is this that ‘fuzzy math’ they warned us about?
Also, setting artifical timetables such as “say, by the end of September, at the latest” only gives aid and comfort to teh ter’ists. Or at least that’s what Noonan was saying back when the GOP party line was to oppose timetables.
Also note that he doesn’t say we need “victory,â€? but rather a “sense of victory.â€? …
I think he’s easing us into the concept of “victory-related program activities”.
The only sense of victory someone might take by September will come when a general manages to show a turd who’s boss in a porcelain theater deep within the Green Zone.
If we asked for God’s advice on American foreign policy, I would hope that “invade another country on false pretense� would be close to the bottom of his list.
Unfortunately, according to the Old Testament, God’s advice on preemtive war, is to make sure that you kill everybody upon invasion. (It does have the advantage of avoiding the whole counterinsurgency/administrating a hostile populace problem, though.)
There is a need for a clear cut sense of victory in Iraq. . .It is vital that we quickly bring Iraq to a semblance of order. . .
I have an idea: instead of trying to bring a sense of victory and a semblance of order to Iraq, let’s do it in an artificial recreation of Iraq, a Potemkin Iraq, the same kind of suggestive (but not overly realistic) reflection of Europe that Disney has managed with the Epcott Center. You’ve got your sense and you’ve got your semblance, and you can hire American teenagers to play Iraqis who are much friendlier to us than in real life.
I have been willing all along to accept some ugly artificial “declare victory and go home” approach to getting out of Iraq. I wouldn’t begrudge this administration, built as it is on spin and MarComSpeak, their little end-zone victory dance and maybe a couple of ticker-tape parades if it ended the occupation. But now they’ve had enough time to come up with a hybrid bastard approach, combining a false victory with another war instead of the end of a war? Ahh, hell. “Declare victory so we can attack Iran” is about the most moronic, brain dead idea I’ve heard from people who specialize in just that kind of “thinking”…
mikey
and thus the increase in troop levels
Wait, wait, wait…I seem to remember that there some sort of universal rule or guidline or suggestion or something about military operations that are going the way of Iraq. I think it went something like this:
Never reinforce defeat!
If we asked for God’s advice on American foreign policy, I would hope that “invade another country on false pretense� would be close to the bottom of his list.
Since God hates gays and loves embryos, who knows?
Remember when you were like five and you used to play tee-ball and all the games ended in ties so that none of the five year olds would cry about losing? Is this what our whole country has become? A rigged tee-ball game in which losing would so damage our fragile “national psycee” that we can all pretend like we’ve won some great victory rather than accept the fact that our actions have been terribly misguided and devastating over the last three years. I mean wow…
look far beyond the daily buzz
I swear, with this and the “bad trip” comment, now I’ve got this image of Noonan lighting up a fatty every morning and staring at a wall for three hours, in order to produce gems like this:
While a pleasant surprise may be in store for us on January 20th, 2009…
“Oh! It was all a dream!” Now that’s a pleasant surprise. I don’t know how twisted and devoid of soul one has to be to find pleasure in “the bombing campaign has begun, praise Jeebus”.
Give us this day our daily buzz.
Is this what our whole country has become?
Yes, but Mark Noonan will gladly inform you, repeatedly and at length, that it is the fault of damn dirty liberals and their feel-good policies, and if only conservatives were allowed to run the show, we’d be a nation of ubermensches who would totally kick the other team’s ass in tee-ball.
“Declare victory so we can attack Iran� is about the most moronic, brain dead idea I’ve heard
But, you see, that way we’ll be on a war winning streak, and when you’re on a roll, you keep doing what’s working! I mean, that’s just basic sports broadcasting.
We shall have to see how things play out…
I hate, hate, hate it when people use “shall” because they think it makes them look smart, without giving any thought to what the usage is supposed to imply.
So we must deal with the Iraq problem so that we can deal with Al Qaeda… by attacking another country that had nothing to do with 9/11 or Al Qaeda! Sheer wingnut genius.
Well, according to God’s “Art of War” (KJV 1611) we aren’t raping nearly enough women in Iraq…
Jesus Harry Truman Christ! Something can’t be “much more relentless” than it was before. That is like being “more perfect.”
I beginning to think that Mark Noonan is just stupid or something.
“Whomever is elected”
“Whomever comes in next.” Whom taught this guy basic grammar?
Remember when you were like five and you used to play tee-ball and all the games ended in ties so that none of the five year olds would cry about losing? Is this what our whole country has become? A rigged tee-ball game in which losing would so damage our fragile “national psycee� that we can all pretend like we’ve won some great victory rather than accept the fact that our actions have been terribly misguided and devastating over the last three years.…
Don’t rag on the tee-ball, Corporal Sir, the C-Plus Augustus dearly loves him some tee-ball. Not least for the fact that any preferred outcome can be rigged in advance!
As for Noonan, look at it this way: He’s got himself a good gig today, where all those years of RenFaire performances (not to mention his own natural obsequiousness) are finally paying off. Being a Bush Leaguer means living in a world of setpieces, courtiership, and crappy 21st-century imitations of 15th-century philosophy & sometimes technology. But if the American voters in 2008 are ungrateful enough to elect a President who actually knows the difference between a long weekend playing sword games on an empty lot, and leading a great nation in a large world full of unfamiliar peoples and technologies, what’s Markque going to do with all his hardwon experience? Stand on the side of the information highway holding his calligraphed sign saying “Wille Toady for Server Space?”
Don’t you get it? Iran is causing all the problems in Iraq, so we have to solve all the problems in Iraq so that we can invade Iran and get them to stop causing all the problems in . . . wait.
Whom taught this guy basic grammar?
I’m guessing the same people whom taught him that science is just a big dirty lie that shall kill God.
Personally, I like how Noonan loves to call people “hypocrits” (sic) but can’t be arsed to actually learn that it’s spelled “hypocrites.”
there is a need for a clear cut sense of victory in Iraq within the next few months
Not to mention, A great nation will fall.
Mark Noonan should apply for a script writing job on that dumbass 24 show and leave reality alone. I bet he’s got that show taped to run 24/7 on his teevee set.
W.P.E.–
“God hates gays and loves embryos”
Wow, that’s good.
Yes, but Mark Noonan will gladly inform you, repeatedly and at length, that it is the fault of damn dirty liberals and their feel-good policies, and if only conservatives were allowed to run the show, we’d be a nation of ubermensches who would totally kick the other team’s ass in tee-ball.
I always love these guys who get all hard from the thought of ubermensches, but look like they would struggle to hold their own in a Star Wars convention bar fight (I assume such things happen). I’m not saying there is anything wrong with looking wimpy, just don’t holler like Rambo when you do.