Wank of the Year, 2007

Jules Crittenden, writing about the Iraqi Interior Ministry’s admission that Jamil Hussein does exist:

My big question: If we were supposed to believe the AP when the AP said the MOI’s Khalaf didn’t know what he was talking about, why are we supposed to believe Khalaf now that the AP says he does know what he’s talking about? Especially when the AP, which has stalwartly stood by Jamil Hussein’s existence as a source, has backed off what Hussein told them about four mosques burning?

Just asking. Has this thing morphed from false but true to true but false?

The answer is, “you’re a fucking idiot.”

Amazingly, the Boston Herald pays Jules to write for them on a regular basis (typical column title: “Leadership Defined, Bush Stays Course“). Wingnut welfare is an amazing thing.


Comments: 15


That’s it, I’m turncoating. I’m underemployed, and cranking out “If you’re against us winning in Iraq you’re against America; we must stay the course for a War for Victory, blah blah blah cannot be that difficult. If I throw in a couple tax and spend references and how the new Congress is already partisan, I’ll bonus out. Pie for everyone!


I know. We need a damn Moonbat Welfare program.


Maybe they’ll all stop watching The Cosby Show because it features Malcolm Jamil-Warner.


What? A conservative named Jules? Isn’t that a blue-state, feminized, quiche-eating, latte-drinking French name?!?!?


> …the Iraqi Interior Ministry’s admission that Jamil Hussein does exist


Maybe I won’t make that trip to Baghdad.


Damn. I was hoping Michelle and Co. would spend Eid in Tikrit.


With the rapidly sinking circulation of the Boston Herald, Crittendumb is all they could afford.


“You didn’t believe him when he was lying, but now that he’s telling the truth you do believe him? Flip-floppers!”


[…] Has that prompted a bit of soul searching form the various blogs who attacked the PA on this issue? >What do >you think? […]


First you didn’t want me to buy the pony. Now you want me to take it back! Make up your mind, Marge!”

Spokane Moderate

Shorter Jules: Postmodernism’s a bitch, but it’s MY bitch.


Speaking of which…

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel.

Homer Simpson

Theophrastus Bombastus von Hoehenheim den Sidste

Yeah? So?

I mean, it’s the “Herald”. “Hope”, “Decency”, and “Integrety” are the demons one must slay before cleaning the bathrooms at that rag; higher level functionaries are subjected to increasingly drastic initiations.

Let him have his fun, drawing his check, while the rest of us live happily ever after.

Herr Doktor Bimler

AP, which has stalwartly stood by Jamil Hussein’s existence as a source
“Stalwartly”, errk. Yes, I know it’s in the dictionary, so it must be an English word, but it’s one that only a Vogon would use. No human being with an ounce of decency or a sense of music in language would ever need ‘stalwartly’ (unless he or she was writing a limerick and needed a rhyme for ‘portly’).


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