I’ve tried reading three paragraphs.
I can’t do it. I just can’t. I can read entire Pam Atlas bits, but this I can’t make it through. It’s just too stupid. What I could read seems to suggest Bush try harder for that 1/3rd of the electorate that falls for it when you say “war” and “victory” together. I think a democratic presidential candidate who promised those voters a bouncy red ball would have a decent chance at fracturing that base. Especially if the ball also somehow managed to be shiny.
I needed that random rant to clear my brain of Marie Jon’. I think Bradrocket is right. No need to read the rest of that article.

I think he should go in, Rambo style with exploding arrows and take down Ahmadinejad.

Can I guess what it says without reading it? Because, you know, it’s really too too tedious.

Does he say NOW is the time for war with Iran to burnish Bursh’s image?

That’s my guess and I’m sticking to it.

Gus makes a good point. For one thing, it’s always time to go Rambo on some nation’s ass, cause we’re america, that’s what we do. For another, Bush has been holding himself back too long. He thinks he’s being held back by the dems and the liberal media and some magic brown people plot or whothefuckknowsorcares, whatever the cause, Bush won’t just airdrop his own deadly self on Iraq. That’s all that’s holding us back from victory. That’s why we have to invade Iran now. To move our army safely out of the country while Bush does a whole mess of ass kickin next door. Marie Jon’ ” ‘ is actually very very smart.

Watch out, Lefty McLeftersons! We fixin’ to paint some Iranian schools!

I managed to read the whole thing–which I think entitles me to some sort of prize. But you’ll have to send it to my hospital room. Reading that swill took a lot out of me, and it’s going to be a couple days before I recover.

At any rate, Noonan’s war rationale is a two-pronged affair:

1. “Iran’s involvement in Iraq is an act of war against Iraq, the United States and all members of the Coalition.” (actual Noonan quote)

2. “Hey, you, Iran…you talkin’ to me? I’m the only wingnut here, so I guess that means you’re talkin’ to me!” (OK, this one is my paraphrasing.)

Look, it’s not really Iran. I mean, sure, they’re MUSLIMS fer gawds sake, so we do need to get our hate on and do some stomp-down serious killin, but that’s not really the point (no, I didn’t read noonan, it’s too early for industrial grade stupid, this is generic). The point is, the wingnuts and neonuts were not validated in Iraq. The things they said were there, the things they said would happen, well they weren’t and they didn’t. But if you pick up your chips now, you’re a loser. They prefer the “in for a penny, in for genocide” approach. They are sure that Iran will turn out better. Of course, if it doesn’t, there’s always North Korea, Saudi, Turkmenistan, Mexico. Lots of places with people who are not like us to invade and kill. And know what? Eventually one of these little adventures will have a positive outcome and they can say “see? We were right all along”. At least that’s the theory…

mikey

The killing will continue until the killing stops!

Noonan: One thing certain, the war is on – and the longer we wait to start fighting it, the worse it will be when we are finally forced into the battle.

We never wage war. Wars just happen or, as apparently in this case, we are “forced” into battle. Darn those pesky Iranians! They made us nuke them!

Now, who’s next?

God help me, but not only did I read it, I responded to it. I expect to get shelled, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m damned tired of these wingnut all to willing to shed someone else’s blood…

My comment – My question to you Mr. Noonan is simple – How? Assume for a moment that you’re hypothesis is correct (not a point I’m actually willing to concede, but it does beg the larger question), and we need to take military action against Iran (as well as escalate the current effort in Iraq). How is it that we go about doing this? The military is stretched to the breaking point (some of us would say beyond it), troops are rotating back in country for 3rd, 4th, and in some cases even 5th tours. Our force strengths outside of the current Middle Eastern theater is effectively diminished, and we’re using “stop-gapsâ€? to reduce the number of active duty departures. Does anyone actually believe that North Korea just woke up one morning and decided to test a nuclear bomb? Of course not, they understand that the US is in no position to pursue them militarily. They can walk around and wave a very big stick because we can’t backup any threats that we might have made.

No, from a purely practical standpoint, further military involvement does SIGNIFICANT more harm to our security than good. Our enemies understand that we can’t press much more militarily; it’s time that the American people start to understand that as well.

Cheer up, Brad! TBogg has driven Ace of Spades completely nuts.

Okay, even more nuts. I wouldn’t have thunk it possible either. But check out the comments at TBogg’s. Somebody needs a tranquilizer dart.

I think he should go in, Rambo style with exploding arrows and take down Ahmadinejad.

I think going in Rocky-style is better military strategy than Rambo-style. He can box against a huge Arab and give a “If I can change, *you* can change” style speech at the end (which, as you’ll remember, ended the Cold War when Rocky IV was released).

One thing I haven’t seen mentioned about Dubya bombing Iran – do you think that, now that he’s had Saddam kilt and proven his kung fu is badder than Poppy’s, the Dauphin might be gunning for Reagan’s reputation? After all, Reagan stopped short of nuking Iran, and proving you’re a bigger badass than St. Ronnie assures you a place in the history books, doesn’t it?

The paleocons at Buchanan’s rag actually have this right:

“The Bush administration … will be tempted to do what small men have done throughout history when in trouble: try to escalate their way out of it.”

Noonan is the Oracle of Small Men.

And as Lind points out, that’s just asking to lose an army. All the Iranians have to do is cut our supply line, and it wouldn’t be hard to do. Bang, we could lose 140,000 troops.

“It would be our Adrianople, our Rocroi, our Stalingrad. American power and prestige would never recover.”

And the best part is, it would be “patriots” like Noonan who made it happen!

(waves hand frantically)

Principal Blackman! Ooh! Ooh! I read the whole thing, too!

And responded, God help me. You read Ledeen’s “proof” (in the graf
that starts “Several good journalists”) and it comes down to “we found a guy in Baghdad with some documents.” Cf. Terry Benedict to Danny Ocean: “You know a guy…”

Would it help to think of these Noonanian posts as acts of sexual self-stimulation? Is there anyone (or anything) more tumescent than a right-wing blogger calling for war?

Sorry for the image. I have to go wash out my eyes with soap now.

I think a democratic presidential candidate who promised those voters a bouncy red ball would have a decent chance at fracturing that base. Especially if the ball also somehow managed to be shiny.

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball.

“We’re serious when we say we will continue to fight the war for victory.”

Jesus. Did I miss the announcement that words will henceforth have no meaning?

So let him lead the way into Iran….yeah, riiight.

Gutless fucktard…

Whoo, Ed Brayton sure lit this fundie’s pants afire. It’s obvious he’s really talking about you though, Brad.

There are now multiple radical “Left Be-Hinder� web sites that make a sport of attacking those who take a stand for decency. These sites question traditional Bible based morality as they labor to twist our society towards their own confused values. They use their web sites as attack dogs that they aim at the people whom they personally identify as the “Right Wing-Nuts.� These web sites are growing in number, their influence is increasing and they are a part of a bigger process that is working to morally collapse our culture.

Ich bin ein Leftbehinder!

Those people who choose to run these sites are convoluted flamethrowers who puke out their bankrupt values to their like-minded peanut gallery of predictable fellow puppet bloggers who in turn blindly chime in with their agreement, support and mockery of Christian principles.

That’s tricky how they do that: “We can’t start a war with Iran, we’re ALREADY at war with Iran.”

I mean, how do you possibly fight that?

–WKW

Now Jeff G. is trolling the Tbogg thread, and man is he bringin’ teh funny!

Oops. For some reason I confused Noonan and Marie”^jon’_ earlier. When you finally notice that bit of tp stuck to the bottom of your shoe, gotta get it off.
Also, that much stupidity at once could get the best of anyone.

“Darn those pesky Iranians! They made us nuke them!”

The “My wife MADE me beat her” defense…Cheney will love it.

Those people who choose to run these sites are convoluted flamethrowers who puke out their bankrupt values to their like-minded peanut gallery of predictable fellow puppet bloggers who in turn blindly chime in with their agreement, support and mockery of Christian principles.

I gotsta get me one of them blogs. I can blindly chime in with my agreement, support and mockery of Christian principles with the best of ’em. And to be a part of a bigger process that is working to morally collapse our culture? Icing on the cake, baby.

we will continue to fight the war for victory

War for Victory! That sounds like a winning mission for our surge to be used for!

Scary, but there are a lot of people out there like this guy. Even scarier — some are in charge!

We need to let Israel take care of Iran.

And remember……I told you so. :):):)

Did anyone happen to see Will’s nuttiness today?

But the minimum wage should be the same everywhere: $0.

Remind me, wasn’t that tried here in like the early 19th century? How’d that go again?

And remember……I told you so. 🙂 :):)

Speaking of remembering, how’s your prediction of Victory in Iraq going?

Oh, that annie. Can she go on. Predicting the triumphant victory of Pie. I’m sorry, I’m skeptical. Pie IS powerful, but many other pastry treats have the same sense of mission, of destiny, and know the joy of spreading democracy like meringue…

mikey

“The Time for War With Iran is Now”

Well, get yourself on a plane, Mark. No-one is stopping you. And be sure to take Michael Ledeen with you.

¡Viva Spocko!

¡Viva Spocko!

¡Viva Spocko!

Amigos, compañerros bloggerros a la izquierda,
eef joo would like to aid Spocko een hees struggle against the steenky eliminationist gomberros at ABC/Radio DIsney and their apestoso attorneys…

please consider hosting the sound files from KSFO and posting about eet on jour wonderful blog.

Feel free to excerpt the posts above as joo like, or email me at gatobloggerro@yahoo.com and I weel send joo all the information joo need.

¡Vamanos!

Well, it DOES look like Iraq is getting the Malkin….

Iraq is right on shedule. If you look at the big picture. Which of course, includes full out war int he middle east.

🙂

Pie IS powerful, but many other pastry treats have the same sense of mission, of destiny, and know the joy of spreading democracy like meringue…

Yes, meringue’s light-hearted, go-along-with-everyone attitude is certainly charming, but it has no substance.

I’m more of a strudel man. That’s a serious pastry: solid basic crusty values. The diamond-grid on top reveals the underlying complexity of the nation’s dark but sweet apple-filled core and offers a nuanced approach to containing it without concealing or restricting it.

Just beware of the napoleons. They talk a good game of egalitarian populism, but at heart they’re militaristic and authoritarian.

It’s really amazing how blithe these goons are about War. No war is enough, must have more war. It’s as if they want to live in Winston Smiths Oceana, they love big brother.

I think we should just pretend to invade Iran, and then when they start to fight back, quickly run back into Iraq and hide behind some insurgents, causing the silly Iranians to shoot them instead of us. Once Iran’s safely embroiled in Iraq’s civil war, we can either kill everyone, or just go home, depending on how much tiime is left before dinner.

It’s time for Noonan to buck up, be a man, grow a pair (of testicles), show them who’s boss, grab the bull by the horns, take charge and actually go to Iran. He can show the rest of the world (all those wimpy liberals) how tough he is by actually fighting for something. He’s a one-man special ops team with the will to win a war against Iran. His sophistry will give him the power take down the mullahs, the Iranian military, the secret police, the Iranian populace, Islam…wait a second, this is the wingers’ stupidest idea since last week. STFU.

These people are ignorant, possibly impotent, insecure and vile. Little men with massive egos. That’s why it is so easy to mock them.

Operation Iraqi Freedom = Vietnam 2: Electric Boogaloo

Maybe we can beat Iran….in a YOUTUBE war! Spreading democracy one eyegouging, earbleeding crappy video at a time!

Here is a bullet from my ammo belt – use it wisely.

http://marceau.blogspot.com/2007/01/youtube-rocks.html

They use their web sites as attack dogs that they aim at the people

Websites as ground-to-air guided attack dogs? The analogy makes perfect sense. It also brings back happy memories of the Dober-Matic rottwieler launcher that showed up once in a Far Side cartoon.

Everytime you guys talk about pie, I miss the Medium Lobster just a little bit more.

*snif*

I guess a War for Victory is a fairly unassailable idea, but I think the Iraq War more closely resembles a War for Defeat. In each case, there is no coherent conception of what the mission is.

convoluted flamethrowers who puke out their bankrupt values to their like-minded peanut gallery of predictable fellow puppet bloggers who in turn blindly chime in with their agreement

The ‘convoluted flamethrowers’ makes a sort of sense, if you imagine pumping aerosolised kerosine through a tuba, which fits in with my theory that brass bands are dual-use technology (and don’t get me started about pipe bands).

But then the tuba apparently pukes out bankrupt values — it seems that I didn’t grasp the metaphor after all.

And then the predictable fellow puppet bloggers (or PFPB) chime in. Apparently the glockenspiel in this brass band is being played by puppets. Last time I saw that, there was mescaline involved.

Unfortunately in my time-zone it’s too early to start on the aerosolised akvavit, so I’ll stick to coffee.

They use their web sites as attack dogs that they aim at the people

And when they bark, they shoot bees at you.

They use their web sites as attack dogs that they aim at the people

Yeah, this is bent and twisted like that old elm down by the river cafe. Websites are digital data hosted on a server, a dog is a four legged mammal. So websites as attack dogs is such a crappy metaphor, it may not even qualify as one. And you know, you can’t “aim” a dog. Oh sure, I guess you can “sic” a dog on someone if he is appropriately trained (my mom was always sure that people would sic their dogs on her), but if by “aim” you mean the physical act of getting the dog pointed at the target, sighting carefully between upraised ears and down the snout and then BAM! releasing the dog downrange, well, I don’t have a dog but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way…

mikey

And yes, I’m trying to morally collaspe the nation, why do you ask?

Anyway, let Nooner have his Tehran. Real men want Paris.

Herr Doktor Bimler, sometimes I worry about you. When I stop laughing, of course.

Hope Mehitabel and her minions are well. Please give my best to the Frau Doktorin Penny. And tell her I think she should hide the akavit.

Fellow Sadly, Nosians, the comedy stylings of one J. Godlstein are still on over at TBogg’s place. I think they’re over 300 comments, now, mostly deliciously insane rantings. I can’t tell the real J. from the poseurs at this point. I think Ace of Spades is also involved somehow, but I am too frightened to research this further.

Take a giggle-break. And reflect that it was all set in motion by the stupidity of Dan Riehl.

Like that’s even a controversial position to take any more.

So I followed islmfaoscist’s link and looked at Westfall’s website — where the attack dogs play convoluted flamethrowers — and I still don’t know whether it’s for real, or actually a Cunning Plan to trick fundies into following links to science blogs.

Back off, man! I got a loaded Mauser Schnauzer and I ain’t afraid to use it!

No cause for concern, GW, it’s just that I never metaphor I didn’t like.

Hah, kingubu, I’ll see your Schnauzer and raise you a Giant Poodle. Don’t forget, the Bengal Cat is already showing.

I think you’re bluffing.

We would certainly lose a full out war in the “middle east”*. Just sayin.

Somebody kill me please
I’m on my knees.
Pretty, pretty please
Kiiiilll me
I want to die
Put a bullet in my heeaadd!

* By “Middle East”, they mean “Islam. There are ~1.4 billion Muslims in the world. There are 300 million Americans. Starting off out-numbered 5 to 1 is a bad plan.
http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/info/donate/badplan_R.jpg

Upon careful inspection we have found no evidence that the Ubu Regime has defied existing “No Pets” sanctions by pursuing its previous whippets of mass destruction related activities.

*bastards*

Its a fair cop. I guess I’ll hide under the couch while Gentlewoman liberates my houseplants.

mikey, we just need sharks with freakin’ lasers to reach the appropriate metaphor.
C’mon, work with me, people.

I’m afraid your houseplants must remain unliberated, kingubu. At least, unliberated by me. Because stupid cats (and all cats are stupid) will eat them and die, as most houseplants are poisonous to cats.

Speaking of dying…please don’t, Bradrocket. Have a n.c. of t. Or a nice beer, even.

If you wish to reach my advanced age, you must not let stupid people make you want to die. You must not even let them make you want them to die.

I just want them to go away and be stupid somewhere else. Like Mars.

And what of the croissant? I know, I know. It’s French, therefore inherently evil to some. But it’s flaky (like the Freepers), buttery (like the right wing ass kissers), mostly full of air (like right wing pundits), and…
Damn. Croissants ARE evil.

“It’s as if they want to live in Winston Smiths Oceana, they love big brother. ”

Nope, that is a socialist utopia. 🙂

The arrival (at last!) of the 110th Congress and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi seem to have driven the last semblance of sanity from wingnut craniums.

Also, I like pie!

Let this perennial lurker just say that I love you guys. You brighten my workdays like whoa.

And no, I haven’t been drinking.

We hate you. 🙂

“they are a part of a bigger process that is working to morally collapse our culture.”

What do these people think is going on? I am picturing that Simpsons episode with the Masons waving their beer steins and singing about how they fix the Oscars. I want into the secret room! I want to be a feminist operative bringing down the Bush government! Where’s my robes and my beer stein and secret handshake and car that shoots out joints and The Origin of Species on the unsuspecting populace? I envision myself sitting in a smoke filled room, rubbing my hands together laughing maniacally. Like a female middle aged Count Olaf.

Once Godlstein popped up in Tbogg’s comments, I avoided the thread for the rest of the day and saved a lot of time and brainpower, right?

Sadly, no.

RE: Tbogg

It was amusing, all the sockpuppets whining…

That TBogg thread’s a trip. It’s like reality hit the trolls, but only half-way, so the cognitive dissonance only destroyed half the neuron connections.
My guess is when they give in, they’ll exhaustingly settle down in the kitchen for a slice of pie.

In understand Mark’s plan to invade Iran first involves invading Kamchatka from Japan, turning in his three cards, and using the armies he’s given to invade India from the Middle East.

Then, with Asia firmly in his grasp, he plans to next marshall his forces and strike at Ukraine, where he’ll show that dastardly blue player what for.

“That dastardly blue player” is of course Dan Riehl.

car that shoots out joints and The Origin of Species on the unsuspecting populace

Aquagirl, I am so getting one of those with my next Soros welfare check!

Hah! I already have one. I’m always welcome in los gatos and palo alto…

mikey

Can this wonderful Sorosmobile be powered by burning a mixture of Bibles, aborted fetuses, and unused test tube embryos?

Zooming OT, it appears that the Iraqi police captain that Malkin claims (as recently as yesterday) doesn’t exist, not only exists, but now has a warrant out for his arrest for speaking to the media without authorization.

Oooopsie-daisy!

We know she’ll never retract her previous wingnuttery on this issue, so, anyone care to speculate about how she’ll try to spin out of it?

mikey! No fair! You’re always like, ahead of me & shit, even though you live in the Pacific time zone. Which is completely unfair. I don’t get my check until next week, you bastard!

diff brad: that’s the racing mixture. I hear Aquagirl is totally gonna kick ass in NASCAR this year. My streetmobile is just gonna run on my friend Patrick’s ineffable (and infallible) gaydar.

We know she’ll never retract her previous wingnuttery on this issue, so, anyone care to speculate about how she’ll try to spin out of it?

More importantly, anyone care to speculate how much this poor man’s life is now worth? Goddess help him.

WTG Lady Macbeth Malkin.

Hmmm. You know, Gentlewoman, it kinda takes the buzz out of Teh Funny when you point out that actual humans are really dying (or in jeopardy) over this stuff.

Gaydar comes standard, like GPS. And of course Mikey has one already. They’re mandatory in California and Taxachussetts.

Well, if Aquagirl needs fuel, she can come to nyc. I ask because we’ve been making a slurry mixture of those three ingredients here for years, and have tons more than we need. I n my partners dip our joints in it before smoking, which uses less than a liter a year a person. With the discarded fetuses n such piling up around here we make 40-50 gallons a week without even trying, so there’s plenty to go around. If it doesn’t get used some biblethumper’ll come along and wanna bury it in a mass funeral or some other crazy voodoo bs.

Gaydar is no longer mandatory in Massachusetts since they passed the law requiring universal gay marriage. Boy howdy, did I get into the “Adam and Steve” cake topper business at the right time, let me tell you.

Actually, my Gaydar is terrible. Here in california as an aging single male, that frequently has resulted in hilarious hijinx. I think it’s ’cause I was born in the stone age (truman administration)…

mikey

They’re mandatory in California and Taxachussetts.

Well, dammit, you’d think they’d funnel some of that fancy shit to us rubes in the Red States, but noooooooo, you’d be wrong.

All we get is Gary Fucking Ruppert.

W000t!11eleven! Now ace of shitty website HQ is trolling at Tbogg’s. You wonder what could make Jefe Godlstain look almost not stupid?

Oh, I guess I gave teh answer away.

Gaydar is no longer mandatory in Massachusetts since they passed the law requiring universal gay marriage.

You know, this does not require much alteration.

Meet Adam, who’s gay most everywhere,
From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.
But Steve has only seen the sights
A straight can see on bachelor nights — What a crazy pair!

But they’re husbands,
Homosexual husbands all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as straight and gay.

Where Adam adores a minuet,
The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,
Our Stevie loves to rock and roll,
A hot dog makes him lose control — What a wild duet!

Still, they’re husbands,
Homosexual husbands and you’ll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike —
You can lose your mind,
When husbands are two of a kind.

iffy, I don’t think that’s the real Ass. And I don’t think it was really Pasty in the earlier thread. It’s using the same phrasing. I call imposter, wannabe, troll.

It did really well for a first try, too, over 400 comments in the ‘Riehl Stupid, Dog Bites Man’ thread.

Pasty and Ass are gonna be pissed off. Or perhaps flattered at the name-stealing, who knows how their wee twisted psyches work?

I don’t know either of those *gentlemen* well enough to make that call, Gentlewoman. But I do know they are both very stupid.

So you’re objectively pro-Ahmadenijad.

ITTDGY: They are both incredibly stupid.

They are also both nearly as prone to ‘ragegasms’ as Our Lady of the Concentration Camps herself, and the ‘Jeff G’ and the ‘ace’ posting over at TBogg’s appear to me, believe it or not, to be too reasonable.

Also, there are no flying monkeys defending their hero’s rep by throwing shit at everyone. All my previous experience with RWA blogswarms have had plenty of those. These guys hardly ever go on a liberal comment thread alone. Hell, they get their asses kicked even with their (usually) subliterate monkeys, but they still keep bringing the monkeys.

Perhaps it’s just my naturally suspicious nature, but unless this guy posting as ‘ace’ with a lower-case ‘a’ starts getting a WHOLE lot nastier, I don’t believe it’s him.

“I think going in Rocky-style is better military strategy than Rambo-style.”

Oh, yeah, that works. Bullwinkle will try to rent a boat and the boat-guy will turn out to be Boris and Natasha in disguise and the boat will have a hole in it (you know, drilled with one of those huge hand drill auger things) and we’ll end up having to be rescued by Captain Peachfuzz. Again. Brilliant Idea.

BJM: “Hey, Rocky. Watch me pull a secular MidEast democracy outta my hat!!”

RJS: “Awww, that trick never works…”

BJM: “Nuthin’ up my sleeve… Presto!”

[IED Explodes]

BJM: “No doubt about it. I need to get another hat.”

Oh, sure, but is it too late to make a Do Not Vote For Happy Fun Ball joke? Okay, I thought it might be. Carry on.

I’m going to try an incantation, D. Sidhe.

Patterico. Patterico. Patterico.
________________________

The O.J. Simpson case.

And what of the croissant? I know, I know. It’s French, therefore inherently evil to some. But it’s flaky (like the Freepers), buttery (like the right wing ass kissers), mostly full of air (like right wing pundits), and…
Damn. Croissants ARE evil.

Don’t want to bend your croissant out of shape, but they’re actually Austrian. It’s one of the great ironies of history (or a prime example of Froggie perfidy, depending on your wingnut quotient) that they were created to symbolise the victory over the Turks in the seige of Vienna in which the French never showed up to help. Typical, non?

😉

So yes, of course they’re evil – they’re a Crescent!!!

Hah hah! (evil laugh, cheap thunder effects, dry ice…)

Just beware of the napoleons. They talk a good game of egalitarian populism, but at heart they’re militaristic and authoritarian.

At the heart, they’re creamy and delicious. And creamy, delicious authoritarianism always goes over more easily.

but if by “aim� you mean the physical act of getting the dog pointed at the target, sighting carefully between upraised ears and down the snout and then BAM! releasing the dog downrange, well, I don’t have a dog but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way…

I gave it a try. Geriatric skull-deformed rotweilers and geriatric deaf malamutes just lie down and drool if you sight carefully between their upraised ears and down the snout.

Of course, I had to work with the dogs that I had, not the dogs that I wish I had.