Wal-Mart Woman Weekly

David E. alerted us to this exciting news in publishing: Time, Inc. is coming out with a a Wal-Mart Magazine for the “value-conscious” woman with “realistic expectations” who doesn’t want to hear she can “do better.”

Here’s some info from the press release:

ALL YOU will be a newsstand publication initially distributed in Wal-Mart stores, and available nationally, via other retail channels, in the near future. Debuting in September 2004, with a rate base of 500,000 — ALL YOU is looking to reach value-conscious American women. The magazine will cover a range of topics from interpersonal relationships to home repair, while providing real-life, practical solutions and encouragement in a high-quality editorial environment.

“I’m so pleased to launch a magazine that speaks directly to this reader. She’s self-reliant and down-to-earth with realistic expectations,” said [Time CEO Ann] Moore. “This is a genuine growth opportunity for Time Inc.’s group of women’s magazines, which collectively reaches over 45 million women in the U.S. with such titles as PEOPLE, In Style, Real Simple, Parenting and Health.”


“ALL YOU will talk to women as they really are — recognizing all they accomplish every single day — instead of telling them they could do better,” said Price. “We want to inspire, not patronize, our readers with affordable, down-to-earth ideas tested by real women just like them.”

So, ALL YOU magazine. Like David said, “I guess ‘White Trash Weekly’ was out for having a polysyllabic word in the title.”

Other rejected titles: Real Cheap, Minimal Parenting, You Don’t Deserve Any Better, Hidebound, Adequate Housekeeping, Crushed Dreams, and Poor But Clean.

The premiere issue includes the following articles:

  • Settling: Where to Meet Mr. “He’ll Do” and How to Capture Enough of his Heart
  • 101 Cheap and Quick Ways to Dress Up Your Trailer
  • What’s New in Polyester Pull-On Pants: the Latest Spring Styles
  • 15 Sex Moves To Try During Commercials
  • “I’m Doing the Best I Can, So Just F— Off”: One Woman’s Story
  • Twenty Tasty Treats Made From Velveeta, Canned Peas, and Pop-Tarts
  • Help For Desperate Parents: TV Shows That Will Entrance Your Kids Long Enough For You to Go to the Store for Cigarettes
  • Land a Part-time Dream Job Now! (Wal-Mart application included in this issue)
  • Anyway, if you have any ideas for the mag, post them here. I’m sure the editors will appreciate your input.


    Comments: 30


    Yet again, reality trumps The Onion.


    “GED: Why you still don’t need one”


    I trust nothing I read on April 1, and this is at the top of the list.

    Hilarious idea though. 🙂


    “KIDS! Proof of your success”


    in the spirit of The Economist’s covers:

    cover: “Barefoot and Pregnant?”
    article: long opinion piece attacking the suggestion as completely wrong


    How about “You Suck and That’s OK” for the next issue?


    New Science: Krispy Kremes Are Good for You!

    Pregnant Again–How to Keep Your Boyfriend

    Why Johnny Can’t Learn–And Why It’s Okay

    Laura Bush’s 10 Tips for Brocade and Burlap

    5 Muffler Muffling Tips That’ll Cost You Nothing!

    Front Yard Art: Turning Abandoned Autos into Pansy Planters


    Would’ve been better if they called it “You All.”


    I called Wal-Mart and they gave me a few more upcoming articles as a teaser:

    * Using Jell-o to Spice Up that Cocktail Party
    * Jenny Jones: An American Story
    * 10 Prayer Tips to Lose Weight
    * How to Avoid Ethnic Neighbors

    They also told me that one of the major sponsors will be a company that condenses articles from the Reader’s Digest and TV Guide into short, easy-to-read summaries for the busy housewife who simply can’t find enough time to keep up with her reading.

    By the way, I really like the part of the press release that says of prospective readers “She [has] realistic expectations.” That is so great on so many levels.


    I’m not sure whether the entry and the comments are making fun of the working poor, or making fun of Time’s patronizing attitude toward them. If #2, then ok. If #1, that’s one of my least favorite things about us “liberals” — the condescending attitudes many of us have toward the people we’re supposed to be sticking up for.


    “How a Smackdown on Aisle Three can enhance your love life in the Trailer Park”…

    Attention Wal-Mart Customers, million dollar bills cashed only on Register 12; please see the Secret Service Agent on Duty for details and handcuffs…

    How about the “Blue Smock Journal”?

    April Fools? Please???


    holy crap, i can’t believe the fucking
    contempt for poor, working class women (or at least your stereotypes thereof) on this thread.

    whether it’s an april fool’s joke or not, have some fucking respect for people who aren’t quite as well of as yourself.


    Eugene, you don’t know how well off I am — I assure you, it’s not very well off. And I personally do shop at Wal-Mart from time to time, because I am “price conscious” (i.e., poor). And that’s why I was both appalled and amused at the idea of Time, Inc. putting out a magazine for people like me, under the assumption that I’d welcome being told that I couldn’t “do better.” That’s why I mocked this premise. If you don’t find the joke amusing, that’s perfectly okay. Only watch the language, bud — there are ladies present.


    I burst out laughing at the checkstand at Ralphs the first time I saw “Self” magazine. It’s just that the name was so silly; I have no idea what was inside the mag. Same thing happened when I read your post about “All You” magazine, and for the same reason.

    Parody or not, thanks for the laugh.


    BTW, the Press release is entirely serious — if you check the link, you’ll notice that the press release is dated March 29, so it’s not just Time, Inc. having fun with us. And if you do a Google News search, you’ll find stories about the mew mag at The Financial Times, the NY Post, Newsday, the San Jose Mercury News, etc.

    Anyway, I think it’s great that readers here are looking out for the working poor; however, I just think Time, Inc, and the Wal-Mart corporate board are among them.


    AREN’T among them, I mean. I’ve got to get more sleep.


    s.z., you haven’t even posted in this thread, and you’re jumping in to defend these bigots?

    I guess this is a Republican, conservative blog so I can really relax and be myself..So how bout that George Bush; isn’t he spectacular? I hope he cuts welfare and raises taxes on the white trash, working poor. They deserve it!

    Only watch the language, bud — there are ladies present.
    How can I tell if they’re ladies? They might be white trash hoes for all I can tell. The important factor is how much money they make, whether they went to college or not (and where), what music they listen to, etc.


    Hey, personally I’d LOVE to go around mocking people who are poorer than I. Unfortunately, I have a very difficult time finding any. So heck, man, if you can’t laugh at yourself or some of the more, uh, colorful aspects of your own culture, what CAN you laugh at?

    And if you’ve ever followed S.Z. for any period of time, I think you’d quickly find that she has a lovely, warm, generous heart and a friendly spirit towards all those she writes about. I think that comment about her being bigoted is entirely undeserved.


    And as a disclaimer, I should probably confess that my mom:

    a. Wears Polyester Pull-On Pants.
    b. Thinks Velveeta is what you bring out when the guests are coming over.
    c. Used to work part-time at Wal-Mart.
    d. Considered the house clean after a few well-placed shots of lemon-scented Lysol.

    And I thought S.Z.’s comments were hilarious. I mean let’s face it, that stuff my mom does is pretty dang funny.


    i just noticed grandmaster flash’s comment. i think we posted at around the same time which is why i didn’t see it before…he basically said all i wanted to say but more politely.:)



    Not to get too off here, but gee whiz people. IMHO what s.z. does it make fun of people’s perceptions and representations of other people. At least that is how I would characterize most of what I have seen.
    But if you think that attacking the working poor is contemptible (which is not what I think she is doing, as I just said) what does that mean? That it is okay to attack non-working people, as a group. Or is it just okay to attack working people who make the right amount of money. I don’t get it.
    I make an exception for the rich, of course. They are always fair game.


    Anyway, back to mocking poor people.

    1) How to Find That Perfect Cousin, And KEEP Him.
    2) Hubcap Art Makes Splash in Big City
    3) Cinder Blocks: Building Blocks of the New Millenium.
    4) The Attack on NASCAR: What the Liberal Media Won’t Tell You.


    LOL, everyone — I love your magazine ideas, and while I suspect that the Time,Inc. version will mostly be just about crappy stuff that we non-rich people should buy (to help us fulfill our role as part of the consumer culture, but with goods we can afford), the editor should seriously consider our ideas.

    And thanks,Pete, for your kind words, and Dog and everybody for your support. I really think that trailer trash deserved our scorn, but their folkways can be kind of funny (note: I lived in a trailer with my parents for the first years of my life – and like Pete’s Mom, my mother wears polyester pull-on pants, and thinks that dip made from velveeta and blended Nalley’s chile is high class dining). And Eugene, sorry if I seemed cranky — I accuse my lack of sleep. Oh, and the Bush White House.


    Damn! I mean I really DON’T think that trailer dwellers deserve our scorn. I’m turning off the computer now.


    More articles:

    “Investment Options: Super Seven or Powerball?”

    “Why the CEO of Time-Warner *Deserves* to Make More Money in One Afternoon Than You’ll Ever See in Your Entire Life”

    “Art Review: American-Flag-Themed Paintings for Under $30. Buy Them or the Terrorists Have Already Won.”


    Is this Satire 101? Do the jokes need to be spelt out?

    There’s a world of difference between making fun of the “working poor” and ridiculing the idea of a “lifestyle” magazine that seems to proclaim “you can’t afford one, have some pork rinds instead”.

    It’s the directors of WalMart and the cheerleaders of the minimum pay/zero benefits job culture that are laughing at the working poor, feeding them the notion that their situation is heroic and only by being shafted, humble and proud of it can they be truly American. It’s the resultant image of a nation of fiercely patriotic working class Republicans with no health insurance, no savings, no job security, being fed nothing but propaganda and voting for a party that regards them as disposable chattel, pushing trolleys overloaded with junkfood around WalMart and seeing this a symbol of all that’s good in America that’s the joke.

    It’s not a very funny one, I know….


    No offense, grandmaster — but some of us ARE the people we’re supposed to be sticking up for! Not all poor folks are undereducated, just like not all those who watch NASCAR are republican pawns. We shop at Wal-Mart, not because we think we can’t do better, but because they drove the other discount places out of business. That’s what makes the magazine more of an insult than anything else. And for the record, my friend whose Kentucky grandparents couldn’t read and whose mom has been a factory worker since she was 18 tells the funniest, most outrageous red-neck/hick jokes I have ever heard. Sometimes, it pays to laugh at what you can’t change. Trust me, we know the difference between comedy and real life.

    And on that note, I would like to add a “crafts” section to the magazine to cover such things as “braided rugs from plastic shopping bags!” and “tin-foil makes great wallpaper for your bathroom!”


    note: I lived in a trailer with my parents for the first years of my life –

    Wow, s.z., you had a trailer?

    Sorry, couldn’t resist a fond remembrance of one of the laws of newsgroup political discussions. Whenever a poster claimed humble beginnings– usually right wingers, to associate themselves with virtue, as in the tales of Abe Lincoln’s childhood– the other posters would fall into a frenzied game of “Poverty: Can You Top This?”

    The heart-rending tales of dirt-floored tar-paper shack childhoods would pour forth, with the size of the shack– and of course the proximity of the local school, not to mention the well– diminishing with each post.

    Finally the shack became so small that it threatened to disappear altogether– and that’s when some weisenheimer would stick a pin in them:

    “Wow, you guys had a shack?


    I can make fun of rednecks ’cause I is one. And I found the article hilarious. Even though at least one of the women portrayed might be my second cousin/brother’s wife (same person :-).

    I thought liberals were supposed to be the politically correct ones? What, the right wingnuts are into all that PC garbage now too?!


    Accusing sz of class warfare? It doesn’t compute… What Bush and Greenspan have done to low income people and what Wal-Mart has done to destroy local economies is class warfare. Time magazine has been helping these rich people destroy the middle class so that we are all poor so I know sz was satirizing the contempt that Time and Wal-Mart have for the huddled masses.


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