Can I go to the bathroom?

Okay, but hurry up, RB. Gavin’s mom brought cupcakes for his birthday.

1. Tom Dasshole / Tom Daschle
2. Dhimmi Cartard (founder of the Hijabtat for Dhimmanity) / Jimmy Carter
3. Balack Uncletomma / Barack Obama
4. Sandy Pantsburglar / Sandy Berger
5. Ahmadinnerjacket Ahmadine / Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
6. Stephen Colbarelyfunny / Stephen Colbert
7. al-Burp Whinestein / Albert Einstein? / you had to make that one up!
8. (up)Chuck Schumer / Chuck Schumer
9. Rosie O’Donut / Rosie O’Donnell
10. Mutt-catarrh al-Sad-ass / Muqtada al-Sadr
11. Mock-human al-Blindadei /
12. Koughing Anus / Kofi Annan
13. Nancy “Skin� Peelosi / Nancy Pelosi
14. Vomitessa Redgraverobber / Vanessa Redgrave
15. Salvadead al-Ended / Salvador Allende
16. Huge-O Chafe-ez / Hugo Chaves
17. James “Halabja� Baker the Turd / James Baker
18. Kaiser Willie von Slickmeister / Bill Clinton
19. Chuckie Rankle / Charles Rangel
20. Refarto Montalbanned / Retardo Montalban
21. Jack “Abscam� Murthafucker / Jack Murtha
22. “Poop� Warner / John Warner
23. Moohazmat Gone-di / Mahatma Gandhi / I call Sadly, No!
24. Faglin Smellyho Notsosvelte, Gimpmander-in-Chief / ?
25. Dick Turban / Dick Durbin

P.S. I actually went over there. Good grief, they’re pathetic.

I really hope “poop” warner is your creation.

Mindless Hatred, now with 50% more childishness…

mikey

The only that are guesses since they ain’t obvious:

22. “Poopâ€? Warner – John Warner?
24. Faglin Smellyho Notsosvelte, Gimpmander-in-Chief – Michael Moore?

Answer: You made them all up. Nobody over the age of seven could be so infantile to actually think that any of those names are even remotely clever.

ITTDGY:

#11 has to be Muhammad al-Baradei of the IAEA

Oh, Jeebus, it suddenly hit me. #24 has to be FDR. Now that one is lame enough that it probably does come from the un-house broken puppy.

Diogenes, they are using names even dumber than these. Another bunch in need of a visit by their local army recruiter.

Please tell me this is the result of too much whiskey and that when the Rottweiller sobers up and reads the post he and his drinking buddies made when there were “sooo clever,” it will promptly be deposited in Gary’s Dustbin of History.

God, if any of this were directed at me personally, I’d be so wounded that even the fabled “I’m rubber you’re glue” defense would fail to protect my bitterly savaged emotional state.

They’ve got a lot of balls defending Bush and calling FDR “Notsosvelte”

I give this no more attention than the two eight-year-olds down the street who light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. Same intellectual level, same significance.

Of course, Malkin is now doubting that the ants were actually lit on fire, but whatever.

OK. I want my “anti” back, and I want it now.

But guys, here’s the fun part. The bullshit is propagated by two guys (?) whose pseudonyms are easily turned into “Greasy Venereal Goiter” and “Enema Shower.” See? Wasn’t that fun?

Boy, they sure like those psuedo-military/uber-fascist design elements (crosses, shields, eagles, sticks, red/black/silver, etc.) at that site.
I’d hate to see what they’ve done to mom’s semi-finished basement after painting over all the windows.

Back in the day, idiots like this would be happy with a stylized coffin, maybe a couple of skulls and a nudie magazine. But now they want to get involved in politics, domestic, and foreign affairs?

Could they actually hurt anyone but themselves? Dave Neiwert seems to think so, and I trust his word on this kind of stuff.

As for names? Those are really boring.

Just remember – there’s only one Tipsy McStagger.

You’re mean, Mort.

I like you. Wanna help me celebrate my birthday? 😉

I am mean, Jillian. But only to those what deserves it. Is it really your birthday? I mean, I’ll happily celebrate with you either way (I’m making some Hunan/Szechuan tonight — come on over!) but if it really is your birthday, well . . . happy happy joy joy.

Happy bird day, two ewes, Jillian!

It’s a couple days away still….on the 30th, I’ll be celebrating yet another solar passage closer to the grave for myself.

And yet, if I live to be a thousand, I’ll never be as big a doodyhead as a couple of Keyboard Kommandoes who think it’s teh funnee to mock other people’s names.

I gave up after three of them. Sheesh.

As William Blake said, Mock on, mock on, Voltaire, Rousseau . . .

Oh, who am I kidding? These guys are to Voltaire and Rousseau as Dubya is to Jefferson and Lincoln . . . as J. Grant Swank is to Gandhi and Martin Luther King . . . as Susan Polis Schultz is to Walt Whitman and Elizabeth Bishop . . . as —

Huh? Time to make dinner? Oh, OK.

Completely OT, but great anyway:

“When we’re on our deathbeds, we’re going to wish we could reclaim the time we spent wandering around for save points long after we were done playing every night. Imagine if your word processing program did this, refusing to let you save your progress until you typed six more paragraphs. Or, made you retype your last paragraph six times while zombies tried to shoot your cursor…”

Also completely OT: Fried Rice.

“…Dubya is to Jefferson and Lincoln…”

For the LAST TIME, President Bush is the next Churchill. He redefined resoluteness past Churchillian and into the next galaxy.

The hi-larious parody name definitely seems to be a hallmark of the Right. I remember doing this kind of thing when I was in seventh grade, but have since repented myself of my sins; these guys have seemingly not moved on.

Related: I posted a comment about the shrieking harpy‘s latest foray into treason, and it was only after some lengthy period of puzzlement that I realized that the “CrockBlowhard” that another poster mentions is me. “CrockBlowhard?” It doesn’t even sound like my username. They’re going to have to try harder than that.

CrockBlowhard … er, Doc Washboard – yeah, it’s like all the writers of the Mad magazine movie parodies discovered wingnut blogging.

Anyway, is everybody ready for the correct answers?

Emperor Mishap
The Anti-enlistment bedwetter

He’s not my Auntie. So whose is he?

Anyway, is everybody ready for the correct answers?

Oh yes, give us the full scoop.

1. Tom Dasshole
(Tom Daschle, Anti-Iditarod Rottencrotch)
2. Dhimmi Cartard (founder of the Hijabtat for Dhimmanity)
(Jimmy Carter, founder of Habitat for Humanity, Sad-pee, No!)
3. Balack Uncletomma
(Barack Obama, SN)
4. Sandy Pantsburglar
(Sandy Berger, AIR)
5. Ahmadinnerjacket
(Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, AIR)
6. Stephen Colbarelyfunny
(Stephen Colbert, SN)
7. al-Burp Whinestein
(Albert Einstein, SN)
8. (up)Chuck Schumer
(Chuck Schumer, AIR)
9. Rosie O’Donut
(Rosie O’Donnell, AIR)
10. Mutt-catarrh al-Sad-ass
(Muqtada al-Sadr, AIR)
11. Mock-human al-Blindadei
(Muhammad al-Baradei, SN)
12. Koughing Anus
(Koffi Annan, AIR)
13. Nancy “Skin� Peelosi
(Nancy Pelosi, SN … Rot’s is “Speaker Lugosi”)
14. Vomitessa Redgraverobber
(Vanessa Redgrave, SN)
15. Salvadead al-Ended
(Salvador Allende, SN)
16. Huge-O Chafe-ez
(Hugo Chavez, SN)
17. James “Halabja� Baker the Turd
(James Baker III, AIR)
18. Kaiser Willie von Slickmeister
(Bill Clinton, AIR … also “Bill Klintoon”, sometimes)
19. Chuckie Rankle
(Charles Rangel, AIR)
20. Refarto Montalbanned
(Retardo Montalban, SN)
21. Jack “Abscam� Murthafucker
(Jack Murtha, AIR)
22. “Poop� Warner
(Glenn Scobey “Pop” Warner, SN)
23. Moohazmat Gone-di
(Mahatma Gandhi, SN)
24. Faglin Smellyho Notsosvelte, Gimpmander-in-Chief
(Franklin Delano Roosevelt, SN)
25. Dick Turban
(Dick Durbin, AIR)

OK, this is funnier than Reese’s Pieter Botha Cups.

What do you want a frackin medal?

Here I am!

Mocking “Retardo” by changing it to “Refarto” is reminiscent of the spring break Simpsons episode in which some mischievous rapscallions rearranged the sign of the “Royal Fart Inn” to read “Royal Frat Inn”.

Does AIR also use Hitlery Klintoon? That has always been one of my wingnut faves.

Back around 1994 there was at least one asshole posting on USENET who called Bill Clinton “Klaytax.” And yeah, that was the heyday of “Hitlery Klintoon,” too.

OK, now back to poking the borax at Herr Kraphammer.

I always thought “Charles Gout-haver” was pretty funny for him.

Belated (I assume) happy birthday to Jillian.

Can I admit I actually thought “Stephen Colbarelyfunny” was mildly amusing, if only in a vastly ironic way?

they totally stole Ahmadinnerjacket from Stephanie Miller (who, by the way, used the name to make fun of herself, not the Iranian president).
Happy happy birthday, brilliant Jillian- with love and ponies.

Yep, nothin’ beats that conservative humor. Real gut-busters, real…..oh fuck it, after I’m done vomiting I’ll just poke my eyes out with a fork.

I was given to understand that the proper mockname for FDR is “Rosenfeld.” Or perhaps that’s too Old Skool.

Happy birthday to Jillian, Marq and the Baby Jesus.