Shorter Michelle Malkin: It’s just one manufactured outrage after another with Muslims.

Irony is better with ketchup.

Clever one there, Mr. Bubba, it would be more cleav0r if you understood the definition of irony. But Miss Malkin’s point is that whenever the Muslims decide to manufacture themselves an outrage, what do they do? Ummm…., they go around and start burning down churches and killing people, in the name of “fairness.” Makes perfect sense, right?

Excuse me. Who the fuck is Linda Chavez? She certainly seems to believe she understands what no other military leader in the US today can grasp – that there is a military solution to the violence in Baghdad. That there is a clear, straightforward way to “defeat our enemies” in Iraq. This kind of sick denial of reality is going to get a lot more people killed and hurt needlessly. I wonder if you asked Linda to name one time when a traditionally constituted army, with armor and battalions and artillery and air power ever defeated an insurgency with popular support, if she could come up with one. ‘Cause nobody else can. From Dien Bien Phu to Somalia to Sri Lanka, it just doesn’t happen. Couple that with the political, sectarian and criminal violence, which these asshats seem to believe we can end with more violence, and you have a problem you can’t solve with Big Green. So, who is this ass clown?

Linda Chavez is chairman of the Center for Equal Opportunity and author of Betrayal: How Union Bosses Shake Down Their Members and Corrupt American Politics

Ah, ok, I see, a strong background in military affairs and counter – insurgence and urban warfare. No wonder she has such a credible opinion…

mikey

Clever one there, Mr. Bubba, it would be more cleav0r if you understood the definition of irony. But Miss Malkin’s point is that whenever the Muslims decide to manufacture themselves an outrage, what do they do? Ummm…., they go around and start burning down churches and killing people, in the name of “fairness.� Makes perfect sense, right?

Limpy! I turned off your pie machine just to look.

First, no, Malkin’s point is not the degree of outrage, although she doesn’t like that either, it’s the manufacture of it. Therein lies the irony.

Second, let’s imagine you were smart enough to parse a simpleton’s article properly and your misinterpretation above – those crazy assholes blow everything out of proportion – was correct. The irony would, in that case, be THE WAR IN IRAQ YOU STUPID IDIOT.

Back to the pie at hand.

mikey, once you’re a pundit at Clownhall, you are officially empowered as an authority on any subject that comes down the RNC Talking Points blastfax or Drudge….

I agree mikey, you have got to love Linda’s column. What she is really saying is that a general SHE HEARD ON THE RADIO said some shit about kicking Iraqi ass. Deep thoughtfull examination of policy. Double plus good: she heard it on all on NPR so she’s showing how open minded she is.
I love this one:
“While it is true that we elected to invade Iraq, we did not start the war, which began with the first al Qaeda attacks on U.S. targets…”
So even though we invaded Iraq, we did not start the war in Iraq. War is peace, ignorance is strength, and work will make you free!

Linda Chavez should have been our Secretary of Labor, until the liberals went into an uproar about the fact that she hired a maid.

A cardinal sin, it seems.

umm- hired a maid, illegally, it seems, my friend. That maybe had some bearing.

Incidentally, Cal Thomas column spends some time ridiculing the people he sees as presenting themselve as messianic figures for hawking their books – and at the end of his column? He’s hawking his book!

Now that’s funny.

Not that being a failed candidate for SecLabor gives you any actual experience or knowledge that bears on military affairs, either….

BTW, nice to see you back, LimpOne. You must have a helluva hangover. Have some pie.

First Lady Laura Bush, implicated in a scheme to cover-up news
about surgery to remove a cancerous lesion from her shin, today cited the
Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade ruling as legal precedent for her covert
activities.

Scott Ott

Man, its always the same thing at Townhall. A buncha clowns and asshats bloviating, with the racist but actually smart Pat Buchanan saying something true.

A buncha clowns and asshats bloviating, with the racist but actually smart Pat Buchanan saying something true.

Isn’t that creepy?

You mean like creepy that the racist Pat Buchanan has a brain or that he hangs out with them or what?

Or maybe that Teh Right ™ has gone so totally insane that Buchannan now regularly says shit that makes sense?

mikey

I think it’s creepy when Pat Buchanan sounds like a sane, reasonable man.

As a UT fan, I must convey the following sentiment to Shoelimpy…

eATMe

that is all =)

I think it’s creepy when Pat Buchanan sounds like a sane, reasonable man.

The fact that, compared to them, Pat Buchanan sounds sane and reasonable. Shit, that is pretty creepy when you put it like that. I see.

As a fan of women in short skirts and stockings with a seam, I must convey to “Shoelimpy”

I Like Pie!

Hey, did ya hear about the new male birth control pill? Oh yeah. He puts it in his shoe AND IT MAKES HIM LIMP!!!

mikey

We KILLED your quarter back. He CRIED. Like a little baby. 😀

😀

But you skipped Schlesinger’s finance advice this week! It’s extra-stupid. Why would anyone take financial advice from someone who decides it’s time to trade in his car when IT NEEDS NEW TIRES???!!!

And then there’s this creative use of the word dilemma:
“This creates two dilemmas which I will debate for you at this time.
The first dilemma is putting your car payment into your home mortgage and the second is paying off your mortgage quickly.”
I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
What an inspiring combination of innumeracy and illiteracy, all in one tasty column!

And just in case anyone has doubts about the queen of punk, and whether there is beauty in the beast, for those that were there and those that weren’t, if you missed the moment there was a time when it all came together. No, it’s not a SHITTY eighties vid, I still don’t get that game, but it’s shitty for it’s compression artifacts and for all the times we’ll never get back, enjoy..
mikey

But you skipped Schlesinger’s finance advice this week!

I know, I skipped a few. Sorry. I started celebrating my new job this afternoon, right around when I was reading Ben Shapiro’s column.

I was there, mikey. I am, after all, the man from Mars. And I was eating cars.

Oh, and to the limp one up there griping about hiring maids, how ’bout googling Kimba Wood and Zoe Baird and getting back to us about poor widdle Winda Chavez.

All together now, “Whoops!”

“While it is true that we elected to invade Iraq, we did not start the war, which began with the first al Qaeda attacks on U.S. targets…�

Ooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. . .

From The King’s English:

Dilemma – This is a very precise and was once a very useful word meaning “a position that leaves only a choice between two equally unwelcome possibilities”. Somebody in such a position was often said to be “on the horns of a dilemma”; the word was narrow and clear. Unfortunately it has ceased to be either and for many years has been resorted to by journalists and others on the look-out for a posh-appearing synonym for “difficulty, quandary”. This perversion has made dilemma unusable by careful writers.

And that’s that.

Happy Holidays, Sadlyno!

I love coffee, I love tea.
I love the java jive and it loves me.
Coffee and tea, and the java and me.

Respect.

Haha! Townhall’s page is hopelessly fucked up in Opera. It’s like one of the horrendously written MySpace pages.

I know that responding to annie is asking for trouble, but…

Yeah, Colt McCoy is a compensating name if ever there was one, but please remember that UT is 72-34-5 against yall, all time (68%)…and we will continue to pwn you, abberations like this year aside. Also, no matter how much mikey thinks we are nerds (geeks, dipshits, etc) for caring about college ball, i’d like to wish the Aggies luck against Cal (Big 12!) in the Holiday Bowl.

mikey — I never had any doubts about the Queen of Punk.

She still is, ya’know. (She just had to slow down a bit.)

what about Patti Smith?

Linda Chavez should have been our Secretary of Labor, until the liberals went into an uproar about the fact that she hired a maid.

A cardinal sin, it seems.

She hired an illegal alien, fool. No cardinal sin, but illegal. (wait for it…) What part of “illegal” don’t you understand? Somebody who disregards labor laws probably shouldn’t be Labor secretary. Duh.

Or maybe that Teh Right â„¢ has gone so totally insane that Buchannan now regularly says shit that makes sense?

Sadly, Mikey, no. The only thing Buchanan has said lately that makes any sense is his opposition to the war. It is a position he shares with David Duke. It doesn’t make either of them any less stupid, it only shows just how insane the war is; even these idiots can see it. And I don’t think either of them oppose it because of any moral qualms about slaughtering people wholesale. (Buchanan sure loved him some Vietnam war.) They just don’t like it because they see Israel as the only beneficiary.

what about Patti Smith?

Thank you, TC!

Mikey, dude… please tell me you don’t really consider Debby Harry the “queen of punk.” You must be old enough to remember Wendy O’Williams and the Plasmatics, right? L7? Hell, I’d give Courtney fucking Love that title before I’d give it to a lame popster like Blondie. Pop? Absolutely. Rock? Sure. Disco? Possibly. Punk? No way.

I know that some here apparently really like pie, but I’ve always been more of a cake-and-icecream kind of guy…

Alternate shorter Brent Bozell^3:

Why don’t graduation speakers ever talk about the good news?

Did you guys know that chickengeorge bush is our ally in the War on Christmas? He wished the reporters this morning a “happy holiday” haha. That should piss off the fundie wingnuts.

mmmm……..I’ve been thinking about getting Bing Crosby’s “Happy Holidays” as a ringtone for my cellphone, just to use as a highly mobile assault weapon in the War on Christmas.

Who would’ve thought that Bing Crosby, of all people, would be such a valiant soldier in the Endless War on Christmas?

In Buchanan’s defense, he’s an opponent of American empire, not an advocate. And he’s been vocally opposed to the Iraq war since before it began and also highly critical of the Bush administration in general.

I may disgaree with him on many things, but he’s not a lunatic.

Yup. It’s those damned labor unions. Always fighting to keep working conditions extremely unsafe (like in coal mines) so that more workers can get injured or killed.

On the other hand, XTC, who recorded the atheistic song “Dear God”, also recorded a holiday bit entitled “Thanks For Christmas”, apparently to hedge their bets.

And Henry Rollins recorded “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas”, albeit with a background of sirens and gunfire, so maybe that one’s a wash.

A couple of Benedict Arnolds in The War.

And I don’t mean to dis Debbie Harry as one of our punk royalty. Blondie were definitely NY Punk, although they admittedly brought healthy doses of 50’s pop and 60’s glamour girl to the mix, she always had that punk edge, not to mention being one of the first mainstream artists to experiment in the then-underground performance art known as ‘rap’. The disco excursions were forced on them by their producer at the time, as evidenced by early versions of ‘Heart of Glass’

Maybe Patti Smith has to be the godmother of punk.

I have to disagree about Buchanan as lunatic. He may not be an imperialist, but it’s purely for his own, power hungry ambitions and insane theocratic worldview. If he ‘s on the side of the angels once in a while, it’s by accident.

I thought Wayne County was the queen of punk.

I insist that my wife and I are the queen of punk.

Michael Medved-It is truly a conservative triumph that the most popular song these days on college campuses is “I Wanna Be Rich.�

In the mid-80’s Phyllis Schlafly declared that the era of sex and rock-n-roll was over because the the song “I’ve Never Been to Me” was in the top ten. She looked pretty ridiculous too.

Mikey, dude… please tell me you don’t really consider Debby Harry the “queen of punk.�

I dunno – I’ve always liked punk, but never been particularly hardcore about it. I guess I really liked Debbie Harry ’cause she was really hot, and could walk the walk. Something about tough and sexy that’s always worked for me. Did you ever see the movie “Roadie”? She’s got a scene in that film that rocked my world.

In any given period I’ve never been fond of what was the current “pop”, but I’ve always liked melodious songs, whether they be metal, punk or whatever. The painful, atonal “cookie-monster” metal and overly dyspeptic punk just doesn’t please my ear…

mikey

mikey

Hey y’all. Just dropping in to confirm that it’s impossible to get caught up with two weeks’ worth of threads after leaving the wired universe for a blissfully unplugged vacation. I tried. I really tried. But here’s what it comes down to:

Brad, Gavin, Travis, Retardo & the elusive Seb: Huzzah on the WebbyWin.

Pammy, Swanky, TownHall Yahoos, and Anyone Named Noonan: Should I worry that I find it weirdly comforting that you all are predictably, reliably, steadfastly and completely fucking nuts?

“You” (and apparently “you” know who “you” are): Congrats on that whole millions-of-persons-of-the-year thing.

Oh, and mikey: I think any music that’s overly dyspeptic — not just mildly or appropriately dyspeptic — is probably bad for you. Although I must confess that in college I played in a sort of pre-grunge, depression-rock band called Soluble Fish. Our proudest moment was opening for the Meat Puppets at some dingy venue in Kalamazoo whose name escapes me just now. We were pretty dyspeptic (jeebus but that word’s hard to type — did it wrong all three times) but I blame society.

Ah, it’s good to be home.

‘Unlike Bill O’Reilly and other critics of what they hyperbolically call “the war on Christmas,” I don’t see a sinister “far left” agenda at work here. For the most part, people are just trying to be considerate, to avoid the awkwardness of wishing “Merry Christmas” to someone who does not celebrate the holiday because he does not accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior.’

–Jacob Sullum

Will Sullum ever have a completely batshit-insane Townhall column? And if not, how long is it gonna take the Powers That Be to notice?

What, nothing from that stupid fucking moron Deb Saunders? I thought she wrote some crap claiming that Foley and Denny the Hutt were exonerated.

The King of rock-n-roll.