Dude, that chick has a do-ability factor of 20 katrillion (high five, air guitar movements and noises)!!11one!

Now, you have some real soul mate search advice for those weepy-ass emo-boy losers. When are you going to start advertising?

And what’s with the Flanders family decor on the DVD box?

Oh, and DICE-K, bitches!!1!!!

Dude, you’re thinking too small. Those aren’t terrorist shelters. Those are apocalypse shelters.

Dude, what about Glenn Greenwald’s wicked lasers?

Are you sure that’s not ‘Doh!-ability’?

Btw, if the terrorists do start lobbing biochemical wepaons at us, my advice is to stay out of the bathroom. More people die in the bathroom than any other room in the house.

The More You Know…

Oh and it’s not the only place where you can find those ads. The incomparable WorldNetDaily currently features among others one ad for a keyring radiation detector (“Nukalert”) and one for a book addressing the question “Should Christians be armed?” called “Shooting Back – The Right and Duty of Self-Defense”.

I was sad when the General stopped selling the Bumper Nuts advert.

Jay C.- Dice K indeed.

Now all we need is some kind of relief pitcher.

Actually that’s a typo. Should read doo-ability.

You know who has great do-ability? Willie Aames. Look at that do!

They are not fall out shelters or terrorist shelters, they are Left Behind homes!

“The DUTY of self defense”?

…ummm, what the hell does that mean?

Why do you need a guide for surviving a WMD attack? Isn’t all that duct tape and plastic that I bought back in ’01 good enough?

Also, why does it look like that woman is trying to eat that baby? Maybe in the event of a WMD attack, when food starts running low, you should eat the babies first.

“The DUTY of self defense�?

another typo. should read “The DOODIE of self defense.”

Building Your Own Apocalypse Shelter

Rule No. 34: Don’t forget to leave a big hole in the roof so Jesus can lift you up to Heaven in the Rapture!

What if you go to alicublog & you’re a weepy-ass emo-boy loser but you already have a soul mate? Plus we just moved into a house, so I think I need to find out about this sheltering-in-place.

Hey, I got no problem with someone selling crap to people stupid enough to buy it. Isn’t that what unbridled libertarian capitalism is all about?

lol..shelter in place is mostly a panic/crowd control method. It is effective for accidental releases but probably less so for deliberate attack. Air exchange of anything deadly into a building will occur.

Another right wing money making scam based on fear. They are so business oriented. I hear the “Pinochet Memorial Tortue Manual” is hot off the presses.

Yeah, I’ve noticed that too.

Maybe “do-ability” should replace what I’ve been using recently: “veeery niiice!” It’s gettin’ kinda played out.

Also, why does it look like that woman is trying to eat that baby? Maybe in the event of a WMD attack, when food starts running low, you should eat the babies first.

As a fellow liberal, you should know that babies are not only delicious, but nutricious as well. Shame on you! Back to the re-education camp wit ya.

And babies don’t need tenderizing.

But it’s fun to beat them with the meat tenderizer anyway.

Weee!! A dead baby thread!

Well, you know us libruhls, always salivating over dead babies.

Would it be inappropriate for me to ask everyone’s favorite dead baby joke?

[sidebar] Consarnit, why can’t my fingers keep up w/ my head? I meant “nutritious” but I had just typed “delicious!” [/sidebar]

Ben, they are Nutrititious AND Delicious!

Thanks TC! Silly typo.

Sheltering in place:

1) Wrap house in plastic.

2) Seal with duct tape.

3) Die in place.

4) PROFIT!

Hey, if it works for the Underpants Gnomes…

“Would it be inappropriate for me to ask everyone’s favorite dead baby joke?”

Which is easier to unload with a pitchfork, a truckload of live babies or a truckload of dead babies?

The truckload of dead babies of course, the live ones wiggle and bleed too much.

mmmmm……babies!

Off topic from the dead babies:

a keyring radiation detector (�Nukalert�)

Wouldn’t the mushroom cloud be a significant enough alert?

Why did the baby cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken.

“The DUTY of self defense�?

…ummm, what the hell does that mean?

First I heard that concept, it was from a libertarian friend of mine who always empasized that not only was he a “small-L libertarian” but also a “gun enthusiast” rather than a “gun nut”. The fact that he knew how to illegal convert semi-automatic weapons into automatic ones and regularly did so apparently failed to push into “nut” category, but what do I know.

Anyhow, he said all people – and especially men – have a duty to defend not only themselves from attack from the Vicious Hordes of THEM, but also his family and property. Way he explained it, since I wasn’t willing to bust a cap in someone’s ass because said someone was trying to steal me 1989 Mustang LX with the dodgy alternator I wasn’t a “real man”. Indeed, since I refused to go armed everywhere I went or even own a handgun, I was basically “inviting” criminals to come do nasty things to me, my family and my play-pretties.

I would reply, “Well, why do we have law enforcement, then?” but I always got the impression that not only was my friend sort of grooving on the idea of police incompetence and corruption – thus allowing him to pretend his was friggin’ Bat Masterson – he considered the police’s job to deal with what he called “dregs of society”. I’ll leave it to your immagination what all groups of people that included.

There seem to be a lot of ethically-challenged editorial-writing scumbags out there who think poor old Pinochet never received the recognition he deserved. NewsMax ads could be the right place for a scam, soliciting donations for the Augusto Pinochet Memorial Library. Just saying.

“Googly-eyes hippes.” Like the ones Jonah loves in Battlestar Galactica?

hey guys, if you are going to be stuck in a fall-out shelter with someone for several years, their do-ability is extremely important. I mean, what if you were, like, stuck with a totally gross guy?! And, like, you either had to do him or not do it at all?! What else is there to do in a fallout shelter? I’m totally serious dude, this is super important.

I would reply, “Well, why do we have law enforcement, then?�

Tactical handgun instructors all take the position that Law Enforcement is for tracking down the criminals and meting out punishment, but the responsibility to actually protect yourself from the criminal act is yours. Frankly, I find this to be logical…

mikey

But credit where due: the word “do-ability� kicks some serious ass. I’m gonna start using it when I’m checking out hot women in bars. As in, “Dude, that chick has a do-ability factor of 20 katrillion (high five, air guitar movements and noises)!�

And, in the meantime, she’s “done” 25 other dudes.

Sheltering in place:
1) Wrap house in plastic.
2) Seal with duct tape.
3) Die in place…

No lie: This actually happened to a handful of unfortunates during the SARS epidemic in Hong Kong, according to the Asia Times. If one is keeping the apartment warm with a charcoal burner — standard in the less privileged neighborhoods there — carefully duct-taping all the windows & doors leads to a quite predictable death from carbon monoxide poisoning. Since carbon-monoxide hospitalizations & the occasional death are winter staples here in New England (including several on Cape Cod last winter when record-breaking snow coverage blocked a bunch of household heating exhausts), I’ve always figured that if we do FSM forbid experience a bird flu pandemic, there will be a chartable number of deaths-by-paranoia as people use their Homeland-Security-approved duct tape & vinyl sheeting supplies for “protection”.

What’s red and white and goes around and around and around?

A dead baby in a blender.

What’s the best way to get dead baby out of the blender?

Nacho chips!

The lone ad over at Roy Edroso’s place, meanwhile, is aimed at weepy-ass emo-boy losers who think they can use the power of the worldwide web to find their “soul mate.� Color me unsurprised.

Hey now. Some liberals were meant to live in clover
but they are such a chosen few
but clover being green is something we’ve never seen
cause we are so fucking pathetic it’s a wonder we can feed ourselves

Why do babies have a soft spot on the top of their heads?

So maternity ward nurses can carry them five at a time.

“Tactical handgun instructors all take the position that Law Enforcement is for tracking down the criminals and meting out punishment, but the responsibility to actually protect yourself from the criminal act is yours. Frankly, I find this to be logical…”

What is sad Mikey is that the courts keep finding over and over that the police are under no legal obligation to protect anyone.

So yes, we are on our own…

What’s more fun than nailing a dead baby to the wall?

Ripping it off

As a fellow liberal, you should know that babies are not only delicious, but nutricious as well.

But as a tree-hugging, granola-crunching vegetarian liberal, I’d like to know where I can find a tofu-based faux-dead-baby. I’m planning my Winter Solstice gay bible burning / abortion-rama and I can’t feed a crowd on gun-tax pamphlets.

[…] If we throw another 50,000 troops in – without a clear objective aside of Pull A Rabbit Out Of A Hat, since the Plan For Victory has been stressing training Iraqi troops forevermore without much success – what’s the point? Who benefits? […]

[…] If we throw another 50,000 troops in – without a clear objective aside of Pull A Rabbit Out Of A Hat, since the Plan For Victory has been stressing training Iraqi troops forevermore without much success – what’s the point? Who benefits? […]

Dude, paranoid or not, the things that this administration has done (and no doubt, will do) makes ME want to crawl into some underground hole with a lifetime supply of food and water, just so I won’t have to be soaked to the skin by the moral shitstorm they’ve created!