Some time late last night the fax went out: “The most important aspect of Pinochet’s death is the left’s failure to denounce Castro.”

Some moral equivalencies are more equal than others.

Castro has a terrible changeup.

That enough of a denunciation?

These guys are like a sausage press, except everything you put in turns to poop.

There is nothing I could say here without spluttering in outrage. I’m sure Castro’s got blood on his hands. For that matter, GW Bush has his own share of red stains. But the horrors visited upon upwards of 40,000 Chileans in the Municipal Soccer Stadium those fall months of 1973 are so monsterous, so far beyond the “Business as Usual” killings of your typical head of state that they do deserve special recognition. And to compare Pinochet to any dictator less cruel and lethal than the Idi Amins, Pol Pots, Maos, Sharons and Stalins of the world is to close your eyes to the brutality and scale of the crimes. And thats all it takes for it to happen again…

mikey

As The Clash said, ‘Please remember Victor Jara, In the Santiago stadium’…

None of these groups have made a move to indict Fidel Castro

Gee, I can’t understand this, since it’s obvious all it would take to get rid of Castro would be an indictment from some group in Chile.

Los Fabulosos Cadillacs remember Jara as well.

Welcome to Bistro for Bush! I’m Mark Noonan and I’ll be your server. May I suggest a lovely plate of calcified stupid? And I highly recommend one of our fine Pinochet Noirs. Bon appetite!

But let’s face it, “dickdee” gets to the heart of the question in this comment on Noonan’s scantily clad mall elf nightmare:

The hate is on your side extraM…our hate is righteous hate for slime like you. You can twist our words wanting peace, but the majority will just ignore you for the little bug you are…and the heavens would rejoice as a very small evil is put aside. You are quite like a modern Palestinian…poor, slovenly, wanting a handout, enraged at his plight, seeking revenge on others; so hate filled that he is blind to his own death. And willing to portray himself as the victim while trying to destroy the civilized and righteous among us. You are likely pro abortion and advocate pecker choice too….take stock now, you are not likely to get a deathbed conversion….your punishment awaits you.

Do you advocate “pecker choice”, S,Ners? Because if you do, your punishment awaits you.

Hmm, didn’t know I had a choice in peckers. While not completely dissatisfied with what I was issued, given a choice I might have chosen differently…

mikey

beware the righteous, they have no sense of caricature.

I’ve never seen a candy machine with a handle. Sounds like typical left-wing distortion to me.

“Advocate of pecker choice”…that’s going to rquire some translation. Are we accused of advocating access to penile implants, advocating access to the peckers of one’s choice, advocating being choosy about the peckers one is willing to come into contact with, pecking at choice avocados, picking and choosing advocates…what did we do again?

Let me just second the “pecker control, WTF?”

beware the righteous, they have no sense of caricature.

Now [buuuuurrrrrp] what the fuck might that mean?

I mean, choice. But pecker control is good too.

Pecker licensing?

Free indoor pecking?

Frankie Goes to Peckerwood:

CHOOSE
PECKERS

“The reason we Christians must reclaim Christmas and restore its Christian content is that by so doing we are striking a blow against all those forces who want to mold humanity into a shapeless morass of moral equivilancy.”

We are obliged to do so because to do otherwise would stamp us with a culpability no different from that of His disciple who, three times, denied Him.

No, wait, hang on…I mean yes, we would be as bad (because we should be as disciple-like as possible) but not equivilance-ishly bad. We would exactly as bad but in a different, albeit equally bad, way of being bad.

I’ll start again.

The reason we must reclaim, etc., is–no, here–we, it’s not “must,” it’s if-we-want-to. Anyway, Castro is bad. That is all anyone really needs to know about him. You needn’t know anything else.

But you must know that. If you don’t, then you’re bad, by which I mean, you’re like someone who…um…who is exactly as bad as you are.

Maybe “pecker choice” refers to the option for widescreen or fullscreen on the DVD of John Waters’ Pecker. Because if you support anything to do with John Waters, surely you are going to the fiery place.

*shakes head in disbelief*

If any more blood leaks from my eyes I’ll need a transfusion.

My pecker choice? I prefer pileateds.

“Pecker Control” is one of my least favorite Prince songs.

Lest we forget, the disciple who thrice denied Jesus was Peter who went on to be the first Pope, the Rock on whom the Church is founded. So Noonan’s theology sucks too, big surprise.

I think “pecker choice” has something to do with the Endangered Species Act. Isn’t it all about that Ivory Billed Woodpecker in Arkansas? (insert Bill Clinton joke here).

Being choosy about peckers is a GOOD thing, no matter how you look at it.

Being choosy about peckers is a GOOD thing, no matter how you look at it.

Good for some. [/quiet sobbing]

all those forces who want to mold humanity into a shapeless morass of moral equivilancy.

Mold (transitive verb)
1. To shape in or on a mold.
2. To form into a particular shape; give shape to.

Emphases mine, but I would like them back when you’ve finished with them.

Peter Piper Picked a pack of pickled peckers, no that’s not right. I give up.

Biased liberal crap.

Peckers are biased?

“mold humanity into a shapeless morass of moral equivilancy.”

Wow. Parse that, Tony Snow.

Well, at least he got the “Pinochet is Dead” part right.

I believe that ‘illiteration’ is the technical term for Mr Noonan’s favourite rhetorical device.

The early Anglo-Saxon poets invented the poetic device of illiteration (TM) because most of their readers were illiterate. It was sort of like a sock puppet that smelled like manure. Yet another reason why the Renaissance was such a horrible thing (per Mr. Noonan).

Isn’t a “morass,” you know, a marsh? Even if you could shape a shapeless mass, you couldn’t shape the hitherto shapeless mass into a marsh. These Blogs For Bush metaphors make me want to beat my head against the quicksand of assurance.

These Blogs For Bush metaphors make me want to beat my head against the quicksand of assurance.

They’ve buttered their bread…now they have to lie in it.

Isn’t a “morass,� you know, a marsh? Even if you could shape a shapeless mass, you couldn’t shape the hitherto shapeless mass into a marsh. These Blogs For Bush metaphors make me want to beat my head against the quicksand of assurance.

‘s why it should be called Bogs for Bush. Well, one of many reasons…

They’ve buttered their bread…now they have to lie in it.

They put their noses out of joint to spite their faces.

Let’s try that moral equivalency around the other way…
Various rightwing groups have been after Castro to try him for crimes committed under his authority. None of these groups have made a move to indict Pinochet during the times when he was out of Chile and accessible to their own legal jurisdictions, and that is all anyone really needs to know about them.

Is that better?

They put their noses out of joint to spite their faces.

They were born on third and can’t change their spots.

[…] Because of you, I am now addicted to reading Mark Noonan. Goddamn you. Goddamn you to hell. […]

Did Kissinger fly down for the viewing/cremation/memorial?

Did he bring his Nobel Peace prize??

Why hasn’t some nice person beat that old fuck to death yet?!

Dr. Bimler–

Damn you, sir. Excellent. Why didn’t I think of that? Because…just because.

*Happy sigh* I love you people.

PECKER CHOICE‽‽

I!
Am!
So!
There!!1!

This is the day I’ve always dreamed of!!
*glee!*