A Ten Shun!

I have a new piece posted over at the American Prospect Online. It’s about how the Democrats should use their newfound congressional powers to destroy Christmas once and for all. Give it a read if you feel like it 🙂


Comments: 53


You have last name?

what are the chances of that?, indeed.


A 1,000 percent sales tax on wrapping paper and mistletoe, revenues from which will fund a commune of gay Wiccan avant garde cellists.



The war on Christmas has already been won (lost?). Mrs Mahgangalag (or whatever) informs us:
“Pajamas Media has a handy holiday shopping guide for every one in the family-”



I’m more in favor of the Gay Wiccan Mainstream Cellist group, but your point is well taken.

Death to Christ! Kill Santa!


I still say that until the Democrats sign on to a war to liberate the North Pole from the clutches of the red suited tyrant, Christmas will never become a secular holiday.

WIsh I Could Be Gary Ruppert

The fact is, I think emoticons are kind of precious to be used here at S,N!, but I’d be willing to rethink my position if Gavin could design a line of sadlynoticons for use on the site. What would schadenfreude look like, I wonder?


Fiendishly brilliant! I wouldn’t be surprised to see some wingnut cherry picking quotes to show the true agenda of the left.


I am all for the plan, but you can’t trade my trees for bipartisan support. Trade the meth and a lifetime supply of closets from Home Despot.


congrats Brad, that’s cool.


sadlynoticons would be the shiz-nit.


I’m glad to see that Bill O’Lieley has made the distinction between “Christianity and spirituality”, which in his hands are two very different things indeed. (Okay, he included “… and Judaism” but we can assume that Billy-O knows as much about Judaism as he does about Wicca, i.e., sub-nothing: whatever he thinks he knows is bound to be wrong.) Maybe he should start selling bumper stickers that say “Save Christmas — Kill Spirituality”?


See, the reason the other guys don’t do the comedy so well is that even though this piece isn’t particularly funny, if the opposition wanted to make a response in kind, they’d have to write a ha-ha over-the-top column in favor of, like, torture or racial profiling or coat-hanger abortions or what have you. Real gut-buster material, there.

Smiling Mortician

Brad, as I noted last time you published Out Among the English, you sure do clean up nice. I like the way you can use your indoors voice and still bring teh funny.


Um, why did you tell them this? What were you thinking?


Very nice, Brad. You’ve given away our entire plan to the enema!

(At least you kept quiet about the Grinch…I can’t wait until our new version is introduced to the public.)


Nice, brad, I enjoyed it! I still think your writing here is better…though I understand you are writing for a larger audience, and the funniest material probably wouldn’t work. Also, “Reed” is very pedestrian name, unlike “Brad R.”


Brad is too conseervative in his approach to the Jolly Hordes.

To be victorious, we must be willing to lay waste to all Christmas Sales and Public Festoonery with the most heinous weapons available: Alvin and the Chipmunks-The Holiday Album.

Then, only then will our secular agenda be able to move forward, and will we be able to remove prayer from the public schools!


TC! That’s the unthinkable! Surely the situation cannot be so dire as to require such a massively overwhelming application of…erm, damn, I ran off the track.

Alvin, Theodore & Simon

Heinous? Heinous?!


Great piece Brad. And that’s not a gay thing, OK? OK?

I’m still trying to get my mind wrapped around Bill’s idea that our assault on Christmas is also an assault on…Judaism?

Look, I went to all the meetings. I’m certainly as anti-Israel and therefore de facto anti-semitic like the rest of the liberals. But I just can’t see how banning Christmas Trees and removing Nativity scenes is going to piss of the Jews. I’m just not seeing it.

Did I miss something?


Brad Reed? Nnnooooooooo! You’ve runied the illusion. The jacquesbooted militarism of the left will only become more ruthless due to your plebeian surname.


What’s that I smell? Is it the delightful, delectable aroma of agent provocateur?

Huh? What? Aw man! You guys NEVER let me use my handy-dandy torture sticks!


“Brad” isn’t exactly a standard lefty name either. It’s normally the name given to asshole fratboy characters in shitty college comedies…


we pass a bill allowing the timber industry cut down every evergreen tree in the country

I wondered why the name “Brad R.” had been added to the secret marked-for-death list mailed around to every Oregonian.

Herr Doktor Bimler

“part of the secular-progressive agenda to get Christianity and spirituality and Judaism out of the public square�
Fair enough on the spirituality. All that business with the ectoplasm and table-rapping and ouija-boards is bound to work better in a darkened lounge than in the public square. Common sense, I would have thought.


The “R.” was mysterious. I could die for Comandante Bradly R.

R.was a leader, a charismatic inspiration for the revolution against plastic worship and religious tyranny.

I’ll stop now.

Smiling Mortician

Aw, c’mon, Brad. Not always asshole fratboys. Sometimes just assholes.


And then there were the heroes Brad and Janet. Would you want them to see you like THIS?



Finally, we Defeatocrats have taken power and can smite the Christmas menace like we’ve wanted to for so long.

When we take over the North Pole, Santa’s elves will greet us as liberators.


awww, mikey beat me to the RHPS ref.

We can at least hope that Brad limits himself to tighty whiteys.



TC, I’m smiling but it was pretty much a given. At the late nite double feature picture show, I wanna go…


Smiling Mortician

TC and mikey, what am I, chopped liver? Did nobody click the link I posted just before mikey’s comment? Sheesh.


“Brad Reed” sounds like “Episcopalian Male” to me. That’s why I like the daring, and perhaps dangerous-sounding “Brad R.” or “bradrocket.”


SM – Sorry, I didn’t click on your link, but I happen to be particularly lazy about these things so please don’t take it personally. Hell, I haven’t even read Brad’s American Prospect post yet. (I just assume it was teh awesome!)

And suddenly I’m picturing Brad as one of Donna Reed’s children in “It’s A Wonderful Life.”


Okay, The best thing about that piece was this promo on the side:

For decades, Israelis have regarded their own national border the way Victorians regarded sex. But that may be changing.

WTF does that even mean? According to Gorenberg:

Tamir’s intention of letting school kids know what their country looks like is, in its way, akin to introducing sex education somewhere in the Bible Belt. If Tamir holds on to her job, if the bureaucrats actually make the change, and if the teachers dare use the books, children will learn a dangerous reality. No longer will it be necessary to seek the information from a foreign agent who speaks off the record and comes armed with CIA maps.

Somehow, hot Victorian sex, cartography and Isreal have just been related. And I don’t know about you guys, but when I was in the CIA we armed ourselves with the finest maps when speaking off the record.


OK, somewhere between ectoplasm, tighty whiteys, Donna Reed, a step to the right, hot Victorian sex (wha?), and cartography, my head exploded.

I’m off to make my self a VERY STRONG drink. Herbal enhancements may be required for fortification. I hereby absolve myself of responsibility for any further comments posted here this evening.

(Oh who am I kidding. One strong drink + any possible enhancements and I’ll be asleep in 30 minutes. This is what having children will do to you, folks. Take Note!)


Extremist Dem Cynthia McKinney introduced impeachment charges against President Bush.

So much for the bipartisanship from the Democrat House


“It’s normally the name given to asshole fratboy characters in shitty college comedies…”

or people soon to be the victims of Transylvanian transsexuals.


The fact is that Democrats extend a welcoming hand across the aisle to those Republicans who wish to do the right thing and help impeach His Excellency. How much more bipartisan can you get?


Riff-Raff : “Frank-n-Furter it’s all over. Your mission is a failure, your lifestyle’s too extreme. I’m your new commander. You are now my prisoner. We return to Transylvania. Prepare the transit beam.”


You mean, outgoing representative Cynthia McKinney introduced an impeachment charge against the President on the last day of the Republican-led Congress? Oh noes!!! That would be completely alarming for Republicans, if it was anything approaching significant.

You think anyone will remember that past the next Britney Spears kitty sighting?

Lookit The Happy Monkey

Bipartisanship? Gimme a break, that was whipped into a corner by Gingrich and his crazed minions a decade ago. It’s silly, pointless and foolish to re-introduce it when the “olive branches” presented by Bush and the outgoing GOP have all been attached to live grenades. Talk to me about bi-partisanship when crazy dopes like Inhofe are safely out of power.


Britney got a kitty!?


“Brad� isn’t exactly a standard lefty name either. It’s normally the name given to asshole fratboy characters in shitty college comedies

Ah, but what is Sadly, No! if not a lefty fratboy fest? [Scroll down to liberalrob’s comment at Nov 28, 2006 12:02:02 PM]


How dare you draw the Wiccans into this!

Good stuff.


Links in every third post until it comes to Happy Britney Kitty Time you guys are weak.


What’s Brit’s kitty’s name?


We devotees of BAWL (Buddah, Allah, Wiccan, Lenin) are now forced to deal with the fact that our plans and plots have been exposed. The celebration of our sacred days (‘Holidays’) is now under attack by the theists. The next miserable Walmart clerk that smirks at me and says “Merry Christmas” is risking bitter retribution. You have been warned!



How many times have I told you NOT to type with your mouth full?

As always,


1.) A 1,000 percent sales tax on wrapping paper and mistletoe, revenues from which will fund a commune of gay Wiccan avant garde cellists

But… but taxing misteltoe hurts the Druids! What’ll you do to regain our support?


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