Vote No!

topper5.jpg

…Or teh terrorists win!1!!

We used think we were too cool to mention when we were up for one of these things, but this time we’re in the Best Humor Blog category against IMAO (who wussily never answered our Second Photoshop Challenge), ScrappleFace, and a bunch of other right-wing sites. And if a right-wing site is allowed to go around bragging that they won a humor award, then what sort of world is this, anyway? A bad one filled with crap and sadness, and not a fun and joyous one.*

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Above (l-r): IMAO, ScrappleFace

I think Brad might handicap the other categories like last year, although the roster is simply rotten with right-wing sites, much more so than last time. Michael Bérubé is, however, up for Best Dangeral Educational Blog, while Wolcott is up for Best Media Blog, and Jesus’s General is up for Just Plain Best Liberal Blog (and not, alas, Best Conservative Blog like he wanted).

Voting is a bit odd in that everyone can vote once per day per category — meaning multiple times between now and December 15th. So ‘vote early and often’ is more than just a Republican slogan this time.

Also like last year, we have Holiday presents for everyone, whether you vote or not. But wouldn’t it be a nice Holiday this year with IMAO and ScrappleFace stood up under the mistletoe and crying big right-wing tears underneath the Holiday Tree?

Update: Frank J. of IMAO says that they actually did answer the Day By Day Remix Challenge. Welp, here’s the entry. I believe no more need be said.

Double-update: P. Zizzy’s Pharyngula and Tim Lambert’s Deltoid are in the Best Science Blog category, currently in second and last place. (Brad will have to figure out how we feel about this race, since Lambert and P.Z. are equally teh roxxor, except in a numbers and a squid way, respectively.)


* One might vote for reasonable conservative Jon Swift. Although maybe not for his evil doppelganger, the ha-ha fake liberal blog, BlameBush — which could be a funny concept indeed in the right hands, except yeesh.

 

Comments: 75

 
 
 

On another note, I never heard of ’scrappleface’ until this voting thing.

Scott Ott is to Sadly, No! as Julia Gorin is to the Daily Show. Cringe! And Little Green Chickenhawks is winning “best blog�. So I guess the scrappleface thing is no surprise.

*Posted the above way down in the basement.*

As for Jon Swift, I’ve met the man at FDL, and he’s a decent sort. But I swore an oath to Teh General on a stack of Korans this big.

Thanks for the heads up on Wolcott!

 
 

i see they upgraded their voting software since last year … when i accidentily voted a couple hundred times in a sunday afternoon.

 
 

Cadet Happy had his round 2 entry here: http://www.imao.us/archives/006912.html

Too bad there’s not an unfunny blog category because you’d totally win that with your… uh… unfunniness and all.

 
 

Sigh.

Not.

Even.

Nominated.

I will cry myself to sleep tonight.

 
 

Teh General!

In your heart, you know he’s right.

 
 

Trex, it’s all wingnuts. This malarkey Kevin spread many threads below**, about liberals not having jobs? It’s been put to rest, by the glorious patriot non-serving, Cheetosâ„¢ gobbling, wingtard Murkans.

**For all I know, he’s still posting down there. In mommy’s basement.

 
 

Off (this) topic,

I know you guys love teh design aethetics, and you love j. grant swank. i would just like to point out to you the major conjunction of these two things in the following… one of the websites through which he is featured (http://www.libertynews.us/) has just been featured as “Daily Sucker for Tuesday, December 5, 2006” at

http://www.webpagesthatsuck.com/dailysucker/

i am not the clever kitten here, but i thought it may stoke your creative fires.

enjoy.

 
 

Teh General!

In your heart, you know he’s right.

How could I forget?! I added him above.

(Thank God we’re not competing with Teh General.)

 
 

Is there an unspoken rule that all righty bloggers must be at least 80lbs. overweight?

 
 

There needs be no rule for what is allready a given.

I recall The General referring his troops to not vote for him? I could be wrong…

 
 

Hey, y’all. You should all definitely go vote for Steven Poole of Unspeak in the best of British ballot, and give those “libertarian” punks at samizdata a good kicking.

I’d recommend John Quiggin in the Aussie list, but it looks like Tim Blair’s going to get blown out of the water by SMH blog All Men Are Liars anyway. Mwahahahahah!

And nice to see a biology/astronomy stoush shaping up in Science!

 
 

TBogg’s not listed!? Poop.

 
 

Wow, they’ve really gone out of their way to pick the crappiest candidates possible this year, haven’t they?

– No offense to you gentlemen, nor indeed to mon General, Bérubé, Wolcott or a few others, but am I paranoid to entertain the thought that a few of the categories seem…. maybe… a little stacked against the left?

 
 

Bistroist, in these days of Victory in Irackistanâ„¢, I find the choices disturbing. Cheetosâ„¢ Murkans, doing what they do best.

 
 

Wow, I finally feel like my vote accomplished something. After I voted, SN leads 169-168. But, really, what’s up with those nominees? Maybe next year, the Best Humor Blog category can be nominated for Most Humorous Post, kind of like when the Academy Awards gives the Oscar to Teh Guy Who Directed Last Year’s Academy Awards.

 
 

Well, so like a good minion I have obeyed my S,N! overlords and voted.

Now where’s my present?

 
 

Frank J and Rickles should hit the Borscht-belt circuit together.

 
 

These are teh choices?

Sadly, no contest.

 
 

Do votes from Florida even count at this point?

 
 

Straight out of a Dallas Christmas episode. Get a load of brushclearer’s feet. His wife is dressed like a widow.

Though the choices are tough in the liberal blog category, my heart belongs to Digby.

SadlyNo is the only funny blog in the humour category. What gives?

This contest needs a ‘humourless’ category. Not funny but plenty dumb.

 
Herr Doktor Bimler
 

And if a right-wing site is allowed to go around bragging that they won a humor award, then what sort of world is this, anyway? A bad one filled with crap and sadness, and not a fun and joyous one.
It is a world full of botanical geekery, and advice about the best explosives to use as an adjunct to dry-fly trout fishing. Your weblog opponents do not seem to have anything comparable to offer. Personally, I have no ammonium nitrate, but the akvavit and the bottle of Schneider Aventinus have a similar effect on their immediate environment.

 
 

Please tell me LGF doesn’t really have 1400 votes for Best Blog. That has to be some sort of mistake. These awards seem to, well, suck hardcore.

As to IMAO’s Day-by-Day remix…. wtf?

 
 

Speaking for the no doubt thousands of bloggers out there who write witty, funny, cogent stuff, who do it often, and who just can’t get any frickin’ traffic, which makes the whole exercise sometimes feel like continually getting hit in the testicles with an unending succession of Nolan Ryan fast balls…

Blog awards suck.

You think I’m just whinin’ like a big sissy boy? Well, I am. But read this, or this, or this, just for starters. I’m one helluva funny guy. And if I could get more than seven people to read my frickin’ blogs, maybe I could get some props for it.

Sniveling? Oh yes. But it’s a bitter time of year for us thousands who toil in obscurity.

Having said all that, I hope you guys cream the right wing opposition. It’s just that, y’know, I’d prefer to do it myself, given the opportunity.

 
 

The LGF hordes are all over those polls. I guess not having a job and living in mom’s basement makes repeat voting easy.

 
 

Wait, BlameBush is up for an award… but not TBogg???

There is no justice in the world…

 
 

Worst list ever!

I could only vote proudly for Sadly No!, Hullabaloo (Digby is still the most consistantly superior writer on the web), Jesus General, James Wolcott and TPM. I did do a a half-hearted Daily Kos vote, otherwise, I couldn’t even find people to hold my nose for while voting.

We gotta work on these nominations folks.

 
 

We can call this one the blue cheese awards. An itty bit of cheese surrounded by huge hunks of toe jam.

 
 

How clever of the IMAO boys and scrappleface to color-coordinate that way. I’m just confused by the red, white and yellow theme…

Isn’t it supposed to be red, white and blue?

Oh! The yellow is for the Reich-wing manly stain of valour!

Now I’ve got it!!

 
 

As Benjamin Franklin once said: “The 2006 version of Weblog Awards (a/k/a ‘The Awardies’ is the worst version of the Weblog Awards ever, except for all of the previous editions of the Weblog Awards. Now I’m gonna go fuck me a turkey. Wiz-bang!”

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Voting is a bit odd in that everyone can vote once per day per category — meaning multiple times between now and December 15th

If I may be so bold . . . it’s actually once per computer per day, apparently. So, y’know . . . you can vote from your home office, your office office, your kid’s room, your spouse’s machine, campus computer labs, the public library . . . Just sayin’.

 
 

I voted for you of course, but I’m very dissapointed that the great TBogg is not listed as well. I wonder if IMAO or ScrappleFace ever do “Michael Moore is fat” jokes.

 
 

What’s up with the TBogg love fest? Why don’t you all marry him and spare Seb’s feelings.

 
 

I wonder if IMAO or ScrappleFace ever do “Michael Moore is fat� jokes.

Oh my, yes. IMAO just cranked one out today.

 
 

your home office, your office office, your kid’s room, your spouse’s machine, campus computer labs, the public library

This reminds me of one of my favorite images from internets readings: a few months back, when Aravosis went on a banning spree, there was Pinko Punko, hopping from computer terminal to computer terminal, posting comments and burning up IPs.

SM: When I read the voting regulations, I thought to myself, “Hmm, I just voted for Sadly, No! here at home. Maybe I should stop by the library some time tomorrow.”

¡I’m a S,N! groupie and I love it!

 
 

I find the whole “vote a whole buncha times” to be a fairly crappy approach to determining the “Best Humor Blog”. Wouldn’t it be nice if the winning entry was actually, you know, funny? I have held up my end of the bargain and voted for SN and PZ. I will continue to participate in order to prevent the achingly bad IMAO from winning anything. If they won the “Best Humor Blog” award, it would be like Ted Bundy winning “Best Thorasic Surgeon” award. Hmmm, it’s been a good week for the Ted Bundy analogies…

mikey

 
 

Oh, and their Day by Day remix is officially disqualified. While it has the panel-to-panel sense of non sequiter of Day by Day, it uses none of Chris Muir’s art (a requirement of the “remix” concept, I believe) and includes no scantily clad scoliotic chix. Therefore, while it would easily lose on the merits (it’s not funny), it cannot even qualify for consideration. I have spoken…

mikey

 
 

Oh man, looks like Scranton’s premier long-form improv troupe, “The Laffeteria Ladies,” went and got itself a beer gut.

They were OK back before they sold out, I guess, when they went by “Spontaneous Humour Combustion.”

 
 

P. Zizzy. I like it.

 
 

Don’t be hatin’. Of course Scappleface and IMAO are funny. Just look! They’re wearing hats, but in a wacky way.

 
 

It isn’t just the Humor Awards that are lousy with right-wing blogs. Among the Best Blog nominees are Michelle Malkin, LGF, Powerline, NRO, Instapundit WTF??? Is the requirement for Best Blog mean “Best at asnine right-wing punditry?” And how about the “Best Centrist Blog?” It would be more aptly titled “Best Wingnut pretending to be a liberal” Blog. Who set up these nominations, Rupert Murdock?

 
 

Of course Sadly, No! gets my vote.

But look at these other categories — Best Conservative Blog. Very funny. Everyone knows that the only good conservative blog is a nonexistent conservative blog. (Well . . . I sometimes like Andrew Sullivan. When he admits how truly wrong he usually is.) What does Little Green Footballs win for? Hatred and bile? Wanting to blow up everyone in the world except themselves? Good god, who is running those awards?

I do admire Michelle Malkin, I admit. She manages to turn everything into a cunning, outright lie. That takes mad skillz. (Or perhaps just a talent for … evil.)

She should win best individual conservative blog because her blog is secretly a group blog made up of herself, her husband, her hairdresser, her dog, and random conservatives plucked out of a steaming bowl of prejudice, ignorance and bile.

 
 

Umm, I like noodles in my steaming bowl of prejudice, ignorance and bile. And a little hot sauce…

mikey

 
 

I’m pretty sure that Jon Swift site is either a really good parody, or Roger Simon posting under a psuedonym.

 
 

Berube is in the Best Educational Blog category..give him a vote.

 
 

All right wing sites are humor sites.

 
 

Just as all right wing humor, by definition, is not funny.

Except unintentionally.

 
 

Ok, I just came across this picture out of Ramadi and I had to share. Y’know, when the insurgents have matching black uniforms, color co-ordinated urban assault vehicles and matching weapons, you probably ought to be concerned…

mikey

 
 

Actually, I’m less concerned. More time spent making sure that everybody matches and is appropriately accessorized means less time for rigging IEDs.

“You’re not wearing that are you???” etc.

 
 

mikey,

It looks like Professor Griff and S1W got a new gig.

 
 

brad:oh my GOD we’re nominated!!
gavin:get OUT!
brad: no joke, i’m totally gay, i mean totally serious!
gavin: do you have any idea what this means?!
brad: no i don’t!!!
gavin: it means that when we win wikipedia will HAVE to put up our entry!
brad: they’ll have no choice!
gavin: and even if we lose they have to put us up because after all……we’re nominated!
brad: that we are!
gavin: so even if we lose…..
brad: we win!!
gavin: that’s right! it’s genius! GENIUS!
brad: got any soda? these pretzels are making me thirsty!!!

 
 

If Brad and Gavin were as funny as you, Miss Annie, they might have a better chance of winning.

 
 

Brad is kinda funny, sometimes. Not lately though. 🙁

 
 

I think he lost his humor when he went away to write that thing, whatever it was.

 
 

Also, as long as you’re voting, make sure to vote for Best Individual Blog. Lileks currently has a 2 to 1 advantage on Greenwald. This can not stand. Lileks, people! The horror! The Gnat!

At least Greenwald’s beating the Anchoress, but she has a disturbingly high number of votes for a nutcase. Can we see about nominating the Swankster next year?

 
 

Actually, it seems tha most of the righty blogs in that category are run by complete nuts. Dr. Sanity may be the most mis-named blog out there (she’s a raving loon). Dan Riehl is busy bloviating about how “America Won The War In Iraq” (Umm, sure, Dan. Whatever you say. Way to keep it Riehl), and Blue Star Chronicles apparently is laboring under the delusion that Dennis Miller is funny (really, he’s not. even Lileks is funnier than Miller, and that’s not meant as a compliment to Lileks). Seriously, how are these clowns even on the same ballot as TPM and Greenwald? It’s not just that I disagree with them. I frequently disagree with Andrew Sullivan and almost always with Joe Carter at Evangelical Outpost, but I don’t think they’re nuts. Can we at least get some balance, and include some nuts from the left?

 
 

Frank J. said,
December 8, 2006 at 6:33
Cadet Happy had his round 2 entry here: http://www.imao.us/archives/006912.html

Ouch. That was … painful.

 
 

ANNIEANGEL: Ah ha ha ha ha ha! ::cackle::

BRAD: WTF?

GAVIN: Pipe down, Calo Nord is almost down, I’ve got… dammit!

RETARDO: Should have thrown all your grenades at him first.

GAVIN: I know that NOW…

ANNIEANGEL: Hey, I’m cackling over here.

GAVIN: Oh, you’re kidding. My last save is way back on Telos?

RETARDO: Grenades, man.

BRAD: I beat Calo Nord on Telos. You know that first time you meet him in the bar? I beat him.

GAVIN: It’s impossible to beat him on Telos in the bar.

RETARDO: Not if you throw all your grenades at him…

ANNIEANGEL: Hey! Dummies! Over here! ::lifts tank top::

GAVIN: They won’t let you throw any grenades! It’s impossible! He counts to three and if you’re still in his face he just kills you! The game won’t give you a chance to do anything!

BRAD: You are looking at the only man who ever beat Calo Nord on Telos.

GAVIN: It’s impossible! How could you do that?

RETARDO: He reprogrammed the code to let him throw all his grenades.

GAVIN: You WHAT?

KIRK’S PROBABLY GAY SON: He cheated!

ANNIEANGEL: Where did HE come from?

RETARDO/BRAD/GAVIN: Star Trek 2.

GAVIN: So… you’ve never truly faced death.

BRAD: I’ve cheated death. I’ve taunted… wait. Which one of us is Spock in this thing?

RETARDO: Spock’s in orbit, dude. ‘If we go by the book, hours would seem like days’. Remember?

BRAD: Riiiiiiight. A frickin’ coded message that Gilligan and the Skipper would have seen through, but Khan, with his superior intellect, was totally snowed.

KIRK’S PROBABLY GAY SON: Hey, I’m not gay. This kind of hairstyle was in back in the 80s. Check out the Hooters “All You Zombies” video sometime.

ANNIEANGEL: I’m just going to leave.

RETARDO: I’m Chekov! “He put CREE-churs in our BODees, Keptin.”

BRAD: Hey, Annie’s leaving.

GAVIN: Never mind. Reprogram this thing so I can beat Calo Nord in the bar.

BRAD: Admiral? Admiral? ::whispering:: Admiral?

RETARDO: Oh, man, don’t even start with the Melville.

 
 

Goober, that was teh awesome.

 
 

BRAD: Riiiiiiight. A frickin’ coded message that Gilligan and the Skipper would have seen through, but Khan, with his superior intellect, was totally snowed.

Heh. Indeed.

 
 

Goober needs to win an award.

 
 

Goober for the win!

 
 

And Goober didn’t even need a lickspittle sockpuppet to make it work.

Well played, sir!

Now fix the the tags and you OWN this joint.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Um, could Goober also maybe make the preview button come back? I mean, if he’s The One and all.

 
 

Uh… thanks. Honestly. Thanks. I feel like Sally Fields, or something.

What tags am I supposed to fix now?

 
 

Vote Kristin Collins (Commontales) for best Asian blog! Vote here!

 
 

Hi Jil,

I will take your word for it, and vote for Kristin Collins. I figure if someone is coming to Sadly, No! for votes, they’re probably good people.

Please vote for Michael Berube and Sadly No!

P.S. Sadly, No! 932, scrapies 654…

Berube 407, Ivy League people including harvard??? 346…

Kristin Collins 71, The China Blog 102 *after my vote for Kristin Collins*

 
 

What tags am I supposed to fix now?

Oh, never mind that, you’ll pick it up as we go along. Seriously, I know nothing about these newfangled ‘video-games’; but you had me flipping thru my cd collection, looking for Hooters. Well played* indeed!

*is that a golf reference?

 
 

I was going to mention that I don’t know what’s sadder: the upside-down BugerKing crowns & the dinner they imply; or the fact that they reached this height of zaniness before 9:30.

Then I realized that it’s not that late on a Friday night, and I’m talking to myself here.

I could have gotten laid if I’d really wanted to! So There.

 
 

Gavin I think we would all appreciate it if you wouldn’t post any more gay conservative daisy chains form IMAO. Thanks.

 
 

Next photoshop challenge should involve this guy

it’s no Keyboard Kommandos, but really good work.

 
 

Please tell me that the left-hand pic doesn’t really include FrankJ. ‘Cause if it does, dude! Way to pack on the poundage. I useta go to IMAO off an on, oh, maybe a year or two ago, and ol’ Frank was this skinny li’l guy then…

 
 

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