National Party for the President Day!
Yes, keep your calendars open, because April 29th is National Party for the President Day (he’s partied so much for us, it’s only fair we return the favor).
Here’s the text of an email which I received from Ken Mehlman, the campaign manager for Bush-Cheney 2004:
Will you make a difference for our President on Thursday, April 29th? That’s the day 2004 Parties for the President will be held in a nationwide show of support for President Bush. Across the country, supporters of President Bush will gather in homes, restaurants and community centers to stand up for our President. Will you stand with President Bush and Vice-President Cheney on April 29th?
While they don’t say so, I think this party is actually like a Tupperware or MaryKay party, in that they lure you in with the promise of a free food, and then try to sell you overpriced junk (in this case, George Bush and Dick Cheney). You’d be better off with the Lettuce Keeper and the Day-Glow foundation.
But you have some questions, I’m sure. Like why am I asking you to keep the day open. Well, that’s because I’m supposed to host one of the events, and you’re all invited! (If I can get five guests to attend, I earn a free spatula or phone call from a party official.) But here, Ken will answer all the rest of your questions:
WHAT: National “Party for the President” Day
Hosting a party is easy and it doesn’t cost a thing. Click to learn more: http://www.GeorgeWBush.com/PartyWHERE: Your home, the coffee shop, local diner, etc.
A Party for the President can be as easy as inviting your neighbors for a cup of coffee, BBQ or casual conversation.
Wow, a party where we have a cup of coffee at the diner and casually talk about George Bush. Now doesn’t that sound fun!
WHEN: Thursday, April 29th at 8:00pm EST
For parties with 5 or more guests who RSVP at GeorgeWBush.com, National “Party for the President” Day will include a conference call with a senior campaign leader. This special guest will answer questions and deliver a political briefing on the progress of the campaign.WHY: A Party for the President is a simple, volunteer event that brings together local friends and neighbors who support the President.
Plus, all party hosts receive a special package from the campaign with an exclusive Bush-Cheney ’04 video, bumper stickers, other campaign materials and a letter from President Bush.
Woo hoo! Free bumper stickers and a letter from President Bush! It’s like a dream come true.
These fun, informal events will help grow the President’s strong base of support in local communities throughout the country and bring the President one step closer to victory in November. We have a hard fight in the days ahead and the President needs your help. Will you help by hosting a Party for the President on April 29th?
Sincerely,
Ken Mehlman
Campaign Manager
So, I went to the site and read more about National Party for the President Day (which is a national holiday, I believe, so you can take the day off work).
One thing I found interesting was the information requested on the registration form. For instance, you are asked to check which of couple of dozen “Topics of Interest” you found, um, interesting. These are mine:
Compassion
Crime
Dick Cheney
Economy
Laura Bush
Polling Analysis
I want to see Ken design a platform around them!
The form also asks which “Coalition Groups” you are part of. Personally, I am a member of the following:
Arab Americans, Farmers and Ranchers, Firefighters, First Responders, Home Schoolers, Jewish, Labor, Law Enforcement, Pro-Life, Religious Conservatives, Seniors, Sportsmen, Veterans, and W Stands for Women. (Hey, I have a full life, and belong to many groups which the President should pander to).
I did note that while the group “small business owners” is mentioned, the “big business owners” are ignored. Well, now that I think of it, I guess at their National Party for the President, they get more than a lousy phone call from the local Republican ward boss.
Oh, I believe “W Stands for Women” is an update of the classic “Dial M For Murder.” I don’t know exactly who George W. plans to murder, but I hope Scotland Yard is on the case.
Anyway, before leaving the Party Down With George site, I checked the fine print:
Parties for the President are informal, grassroots “parties” attended by supporters of President Bush with virtually no cost to the host or those in attendance and are not official Bush-Cheney ’04 events. To comply with federal law, Parties for the President hosted at a person’s home must be paid for by the person hosting the event and the cost cannot exceed $1,000. The person hosting the event cannot share the cost with others or ask others to help pay. A Party for the President hosted at a public location such as a restaurant requires that each person in attendance pay for the food or drink they consume to comply with federal law.
So, when I hold my “party” at the diner, you have to buy your own cup of coffee. It’s federal law. And if we are caught or captured, the Bush-Cheney campaign will disavow all knowledge of our activities.
This sounds funner by the minute. See you on April 29th!
OK, I’ve cleared my calendar of everything I had planned for celebrating National Shrimp Scampi Day on the 29th … thank goodness they didn’t schedule the festivities for National Party for Our President Day on April 30th – that’s National Honesty Day!
I really do hope that we can get five of us together to qualify for that conference call with a senior campaign official.
W Stands for Women?
Is Bush trying to say he is a woman and that he and Laura are in a soon to be unconstitutional same sex marriage? Wouldn’t that be fabulous?
I am so there. I’ll be representing W = Wives of Big Oil.
Sorry, that’s my son’s third birthday. I guess I could combine that with a Party with George, but would federal law then limit my spending to no more than $1000? If I have it at Perkins will the other little tykes have to buy their own cake? Meanwhile, I wonder if Jenna and Barb are planning to Party for the President that day. Should “Girls Gone Wild” be notified?
How about have our own corresponding “Get the FEC to audit the ‘2004 Party for the President Day'” event?
Find out who is having these parties in your area and make sure to spoon-feed the information to your local journalists. Forward the articles to the FEC.
This thing could blow up in the GOP’s face if some enterprising reporters uncover widespread abuse of that fine print.
Show support for Fearless Leader by hosting a party at your soup kitchen, food shelf, homeless shelter, unemployment office, college financial aid office….have an overnight lockup at the local Walmart warehouse. Endless possibilities.
How about a nationwide collection of Kerry fundraisers on April 29, collectively called “Retirement Party for the President Day”?
Is this really a good idea? Dubya partyed quite enough in his first 40 years. He’s gonna need those brain cells he has left just to maintain his autonomic respiration.
Dear me, I had no idea that federal regulations on parties hosted by citizens were so strict.
However, I’m no scofflaw: my nephew’s just gonna have to cough up for cake at his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese next week. And when he asks why, I’ll say “because George W. Bush says so.”
well… let’s have a John John party! Maybe we could all come together and promise to kill our next unborn child or… better yet we could all sponsor an illegal alien with AIDS to come to the U.S. (Kerry does want to lift the ban on aliens w/AIDS coming into our country) so they can get on our healthcare system. Hey the parties afore mentioned would promote the use of more ketchup and John could sure use the extra money to pay back all the money he borrowed from his wife because he’s throwing it all away for his failed attempt at the Whitehouse!!
The liberal dem’s might want to start crying again, for the grassroots effort that the Bush campaign is putting on will stomp Kerry. As boring as Kerry is, why didn’t you guys go with Gore/Leiberman again? Gooks, you guys are so out of touch. Even the vets (I am one of them) will vote against a “decorated” homeboy! I love it! I guess Rosey has to go back to being single now!