They also didn’t find it necessary to consult with the ghost of Genghis Khan or the rotting corpse of Richard Nixon. This is obviously because they’re all gay.

the ISG did not find it necessary to talk with, say, Victor Davis Hanson, Lawrence Wright, Robert Kaplan, Mark Steyn, Michael Ledeen, Reuel Marc Gerecht, or Christopher Hitchens.

The ISG also did not find it necessary to talk with, say, Soupy Sales, Kevin Federline, Morganna the Kissing Bandit, the Taco Bell chihuahua, Mark “The Bird” Fidrych or the remaining half of my ham sandwich, all of whom I’d trust more than Hitchens, Steyn et al when it comes to Iraq.

jeez Anthony Lake worked for Nixon and Kissinger that should be enough to keep those ye righteous wings of nutte just a little happy?

Wow…talk about pronoun ambiguity on my part! I think I just called the rotting corpse of Genghis Khan gay.

I’m gonna go stand in the corner now.

But the pickled quart of Hitchypoo is defiantly heterosexual, in a most manly way.

Hey, JK, I need some advice on whether I should ask out the girl in prepress. Lemme talk to the remaining half of your ham sandwich, ok? JK? Noooo, don’t eat…Dammit….

mikey

the ISG did not find it necessary to talk with, say, Victor Davis Hanson, Lawrence Wright, Robert Kaplan, Mark Steyn, Michael Ledeen, Reuel Marc Gerecht, or Christopher Hitchens.

Yes, well, if one were searching for alternatives to the current strategy for running the Yankees … one probably wouldn’t turn directly to George Steinbrenner, either.

They also didn’t find it necessary to consult with the ghost of Genghis Khan

I wish they had. He was a pimp and a half and I doubt he would have made the bush-league mistakes that this crew managed.

They did talk to Hitchens, he tried to Windex the windshield of the ISGMobile while babbling incoherently on a street corner in Georgetown. I think they said “Sorry, we’re out of change.”

And they tried to get in touch with Victor Davis Hanson, but he’s officially changed his name to King Leonidas and spends 22 hours a day in World of Warcraft.

Christopher Hitchens? Maybe he was so drunk he couldn’t show up for his interview? Maybe they decided to exclude those that had to have a quart of scotch to deal with reality?

Damn, I’m a scotch drinker, why wasn’t I was consulted? Give me a quart of scotch and I’ll give you a lot of opinions and you’d be hard pressed to keep me on the subject of Iraq!

When did George Will become an expert of anything other than saying assinine things about Jim Webb?

I say go for it, Mikey.

I’ll bet Hugh Hewitt was really ticked off that the panel put together to study cleaning up Prince William Sound didn’t think to consult Capt. Hazelwood.

Impressive Hazelwood namecheck. I’m in awe. Maybe they should have interviewed mal de mer…

mikey

Hitchens ‘teaches’ at my grad school. It takes a real effort not to launch into him when I see him around.
Mostly I see him at the bar around the corner, where he’s holding court with girls half his age who even follow him as a herd out to smoke. Where they then try and bum off me. Dunhills are expensive, dammit.
I’d say more but I don’t want to get myself in too much trouble, people actually read this place.

Hewitt apparently wants to start a fantasy ISG league, and Will and Hitchens are in his first draft choices.

mikey – aww, shucks. T’warn’t nuthin. Start thinking about “comparible disasters to the mess in Iraq + who caused them” … and the Exxon Valdez is one of a couple that spring to mind.

even follow him as a herd out to smoke.

I take it they’ve banned all indoor smoking in your neck of the woods. Sad day, that was, when that law went into effect. The one smoky shithole bar I could go to and not care about the other patrons or furniture has since turned into the local emo hangout.

Look, you don’t hear me complaining that Chomsky wasn’t consulted.

Even funnier is Rick Moran:

This is our new battle cry; “We must mitigate defeat!�

Stirring, isn’t it? Not quite the ring that “Remember the Alamo� has but then, this is the 21st century and such patriotic and emotional displays are frowned upon by the blue blooded “wise men� of the ISG who have labored long and hard to produce this recipe for American retreat.

followed by

I don’t know if there is a way to “victoryâ€? in Iraq. …

…in the end, it comes down to doing the best we can to bring some kind of definitive denouement to our Iraqi adventure.

Adventure. The Alamo. How old is this guy? Eight?

Ok, fuckhead, tell me who we are going to defeat. What flag will we be pulling down?

mikey

When did George Will become an expert of anything other than saying assinine things about Jim Webb?

Pish, that’s the least of his writing crimes. The crap he writes about baseball would, in a fair and just world, result in him ending up in chains in The Hague for crimes against humanity. Alas…..

Stirring, isn’t it? Not quite the ring that “Remember the Alamo� has but then, this is the 21st century and such patriotic and emotional displays are frowned upon by the blue blooded “wise men� of the ISG who have labored long and hard to produce this recipe for American retreat.

Now it’s the ISG’s fault. They are truly eating their own now. It’s sad that this war had to happen and even sadder that it has gone so badly, but at least there is a little justice in seeing the neocons get their come-uppance.

It was only a matter of time before reality intervened.

If they didn’t consult Tom Friedman’s cab driver, the whole thing is an empty charade.

I like how he frames victory in quotations now to distance himself from a word that was used to death to market this piece of shit.

The ISG also did not find it necessary to talk with, say, Soupy Sales, Kevin Federline, Morganna the Kissing Bandit, the Taco Bell chihuahua

Yo. Don’t be hatin on Morganna the Kissing Bandit. Or that Taco Bell doggy for that matter.

They didn’t consult George Armstrong Custer, Jefferson Davis, Warren Gamaliel Harding (who has the best middle name of any US president), that anonymous white guy standing in the lynch mob in Mississippi in 1921 who didn’t like it much but didn’t care much either way, nor did they consult the Intimidator, Dale Earnhardt, or Bruno Sammartino, or Boog Powell, or Harmon Killebrew, or M.C. Hammer, or Joseph McCarthy’s rotting corpse.

I’m shocked, shocked.

“…it comes down to doing the best we can to bring some kind of definitive denouement to our Iraqi adventure.”

Somebody’s been consulting a thesaurus.

But is it really possible to bring denouement, or is denouement something that one simply watches, hands off, as it unfolds?

I’m just be glad he stayed away from sports metaphors. Not fitting in this instance, not fitting at all.

If the ISG had consulted Tom Friedman he would have said the next six months are crucial.

Oh. They did consult Tom Friedman. That must be why the report states that the next six months are crucial. If they hadn’t consulted him, the ISG would not have known this.

The ISG would have said the next six months are completely meaningless but the next six months after that are very very crucial.

That’s why Tom Friedman is so important.

He has a pocket calendar.

Damn, where was she when I was in high school.

/me queues Van Halen

Denouement is what happens just before everybody dies because you completely fucked up. So the usage, in this context, is correct, even though they didn’t mean it this way.

The next six months are crucial…

mikey

Hewitt why don’t YOU go to Iraq and spend a year talking with the troops?

Ok, fuckhead, tell me who we are going to defeat. What flag will we be pulling down?

Maybe he meant this one:

http://www.unknownnews.org/060911-photo-essay.html

But is it really possible to bring denouement, or is denouement something that one simply watches, hands off, as it unfolds?

Bring it, yo. Bring tha denouement.

RubDMC said,

December 7, 2006 at 6:03

“…it comes down to doing the best we can to bring some kind of definitive denouement to our Iraqi adventure.�

Somebody’s been consulting a thesaurus.

They should read more widely. “Denouement” may technically mean the final resolution of a dramatic story or narrative, but as I understand its connotations in practice, it implies the final resolution of a tragic or disastrous story or narrative. Like Richard III on Bosworth field crying, “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” just before he gets whacked.

That’s a denouement. This is just a debacle.

“Could it be because they are all a bunch of discredited ideologues who have been wrong about absolutely everything?”

All seven of them have been wrong about absolutely everything? That must be because they have all been “discredited” by liberal bloggers and ideologues of the Left who tend to see the world as black and white and feel comfortable making blanket statements about a group of people they disagree with without bothering to state a single fact, show an example, or make an argument.

The fact is I project.

A lot.

a group of people they disagree with without bothering to state a single fact,

Fact: Bush is a spoiled retard

What else ya got?

The guys Hewitt cites as being ignored literally can’t avoid evidence of their failures.

Exempli Gratia: Steyn rounds up a bunch of his old columns on his website each day. Today’s greatest hits:

* An encomium to the ineffective, ludicrous, and mercifully departed John Bolton
* A paean to the ineffective, ludicrous, and mercifully departing Donald Rumsfeld
* Highest praise for the ineffective, ludicrous, but unfortunately not yet departed American Gulag at Guantanamo

http://www.steynonline.com/index2.cfm?edit_id=68

Hewitt does say that Bill Kristol was consulted. I think they only called him in because they thought he was Billy Crystal, and they needed some joks to punch up the introduction.

That must be because they have all been “discredited� by liberal bloggers and ideologues of the Left who tend to see the world as black and white and feel comfortable making blanket statements about a group of people they disagree with without bothering to state a single fact, show an example, or make an argument.

…Because Iraq has gone exactly as intended. And if not, the blame rests with those who opposed the war. And also the media and the Iraqi people. And Iran and/or Syria. And Europe. And the American people. And..uh, this lamp. And that squirrel over there.

Off topic. Another great comedy that aired in the late 80s early 90s…Absolutely from Scotland.

Video clips here. (AVIs and WMVs have the best quality) and there are quite a few on YouTube.

In the spirit of unity; I believe we are all to blame.

I wonder if I can embed videos from here…

Oh neat!

That’s a clip from Bottom, w/ Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmundson.

[Although YouTube says it’s going down for maintenance in a bit.]

Another great comedy that aired in the late 80s early 90s…Absolutely from Scotland.

I loved that show. The most surreal British comedy since the Pythons.

Rik Mayall is my favourite.

I wonder if I, a commenter, can embed a video here.

nope. 🙁

From Absolutely: Calum in Court

From Saxondale – Steve Coogan playing two characters – Emo and Tommy (pest controller).

I hate that fuckign squirrel.

Scene: The Disembowelled Papist, a tavern, somewhere in Southwark. Enter Richard Burbage of the King’s Players, brandishing a sheaf of parchment.
Burbage: A word with you, Will, about this ‘Hamlet’ script.
Shakespeare: It’s good, isn’t it? [unhands serving wench].
Burbage: No, Will, it’s completely depressing. Everyone dies in the final scene!
Shakespeare: Oh Dick, happy endings are so 16th century. So is ‘final scene’. These days we say ‘the denouement’.
Burbage: Gods blood, Will, have you been talking with those cheese-eating surrender-monkey French playwrights again? The only thing they know less about than drama and suspense, is winning battles. Defeatists, one and all! We thrashed them at Agincourt! We would have thrashed them at Calais if it weren’t for the media tying our hands behind us! Anyway, Will, the ending has to change.
Shakespeare: Hmm. How about if I add one more scene, in which the Danes rally round the slogan of “Remember Elsinore”, defeat Fortinbras, and bring democracy to all of Scandinavia?
Burbage: That’ll do.

Not the Nine O’Clock News – Gerald the Gorilla (Rowan Atkinson)

Rick Mercer’s traditional conservative values sketch mocking the Harper platform (you might have to be a Canadian to appreciate some of it)

SCTV sketch – hockey players doing cereal ad (classic John Candy/Joe Flaherty!)

The Sammy Maudlin Show

everything by SCTV… *sigh*

Hmm. If I bump a vid file up to the server, you should be able to embed it. That’s why it works fer me.

I blew the link for the gorilla sketch. Here it is.

There’s a show on BBC these days, That Mitchell & Webb Look, which also has its moments:

An existential crisis in the SS,
That’s Numberwang!,
The Green Clarinet that makes you reveal embarassing truths,
and my kind of vicar.

All this talk of British comedy and not one shout-out for Red Dwarf?

Man, I thought y’all were cool…

ooops. didn’t notice I was still Baldrick from earlier. Cunning plan, indeed.

I’m flabbergasted to discover Youtube has a few clips of Some Mothers Do Have ‘Em starring Michael Crawford (who surely inspired John Cleese’s character Basil Fawlty) which aired in ’73. It’s a wonder he survived the stunt work. Here’s an example. The BBC has a couple of clips – the soft spot sketch is sublime.

And who can forget Yes Minister and Yes Prime Minister.

[…] Poise! Poise! « Oh Goody Dec7 […]

As Scottish sketch shows go, Chewin’ The Fat is an excellent one:

Scottish DUI Test: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry61t4DJOjE
Awkward Teacher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xIthYHZKjE
Taysiders in Space: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLxLmFhROqY
Wullie’s Pie Factory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-UW9xcs8eQ
Bouncers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEHwwy4VLJM

Um. According to Tbogg’s latest, it should be Victor Davis And He Shall Be Levon Hanson who was inexplicably left off the list.

And don’t worry, kingubu. I often walk around all day without realizing I’m Baldrick.

In late breaking news, The Internets were broken today when the authors of a little-known, anti-American website known as “Sadly, No” discovered they could embed Youtube videos in the comment threads. The resulting bandwidth demands brought down DNS servers in twelve states”

Hey. I didn’t think Soupy Sales was still alive! Thank God no one’s sent him to Iraq!

Hindrocket? What about Hindrocket?

Kingubu, Red Dwarf (or at least the first four series or so, after that it’s a mixed bag) was great, but a slightly different type of show, no? More elements of “traditional” sit-com, despite its sci-fi setting.

But if we’re going to bring up all the greatest British shows of that period, it’s high time someone mentioned A Bit of Fry & Laurie, especially since both those gentlemen appear in Bradrocket’s clip. Quite possibly the best skit-based comedy since Monty Python. Here’s a choice sampling:

The opening skit of the very first episode on the perils of a liberal school system
From that same ep., their response to (ostensibly) being censured by sir William (now lord) Rees-Mogg
They were also responsible for two of the three greatest sketches about terms for homosexuality (the third one being Peter Cook coining the term “player of the pink oboe” on the Secret Policeman’s Ball in the late 70s)
And lastly, Hugh Laurie performing the smash hit Mystery

If anyone finds the Fry and Laurie Mr. Burmie sketch, do share.

Really like Chewin’ the Fat.

Found these lovely ones of the two Ronnies. Swedish made simple and the driving test.

Another not to be missed classic series: The Fall and Rise of Reggie Perrin.

I was always partial to The Young Ones, as during my student days I lived in an house which very closely paralleled this situation. And, before anyone asks, I was Vyvyan, though without the forehead studs. (Our “Rick” is now a gold trader in the UK, and our “Neil” is the chair of the French Department at the University of Western Ontario. “Mike” is busy fucking up a major bank in Pittsburgh.)

As a Canadian, I would be willing to accept the return of Celine Dion if you Yanks keep Mark Steyn and agree to take Adam Yoshida as well. I can always wear ear plugs.

Nah, Rik’s a blood diamond trader.