Kicked in the Booty

Hey Drum! How do ya like them apples, huh? Bring on Ohio State-Michigan in the national title game, baby! It. Is. So. On.


Comments: 59


Florida’s still not done.

calling all toasters

Didn’t Ohio State and Michigan play already? So did the loser call “best out of three”? If so, what do you call the third game?


I can’t describe how fucking great this feels as a lifelong Bruins fan. Fuck U$C. Fuck their convict laden roster. Fuck their piece of shit coach.

Didn’t Ohio State and Michigan play already? So did the loser call “best out of three�? If so, what do you call the third game?

Looks like someone doesn’t know the difference between a road game and a neutral site game.


Oh, and Brad, I’m also Vladi. PP can explain the whole thing.


Look, you know I love you guys (not in a gay way), but college football is the last refuge of the sports junkie. Nobody knows who these guys are, nobody cares what they do. You get a pass rooting for aunt alma mater, but beyond that – jeez, give it a rest. Next thing you’ll be playing fantasy european minor league american football or something. When I hear football nutjobs discussing in meticulous detail the condition of the medial collateral ligament of some linebacker I’ve never heard of all I can think of is “gawd, what are they missing in life, and what must their wive’s life be like?”….



Awesome! As a full time Midwesterner, those of practicality and sensibiltity, I love the Big 10.5.

The two best teams are going to go at it again, on a neutral field.

Take Michigan and the points, if you get any.


…all I can think of is “gawd, what are their wive’s missing in life?â€?



I know nothing about college football. No troll-chomping here at the ole S,N! tonight? Wanh wanh. (Does anyone know the correct spelling for crying baby sounds?)

*sigh* Back to work for me.

Mikey – Hope you went with the duck breast tonight.


mikey, it’s not about the teams…

it’s about throwing the parties to ostensibly watch the bowl game with friends, food and your favorite beverages.

wisconsin plays Jan 1. w00t!1!


See, this is why I get depressed this time of year.

It isn’t all the phony holiday cheer, or the smug-but-genuine holiday cheer, or the ridiculous outrage of the cultural warriors’ at my calling it “holiday” cheer, or the aggressive marketing that exhorts me to buy useless crap for people I don’t actually like with money I don’t actually have, or the insipid holiday music that permeates every public space.

It’s the fucking football.


And get off my damned lawn!


Eat it USC…two losses against unranked conference foes…

We’ll see you in the Halliburton Cobag Bowl.


Come on by for the game Rob.

You don’t have to watch.


Anyone notice this asssesmentology?

In 2002, for example, Bush’s own White House Office of Management and Budget initiated the President’s Management Scorecard, a sort of quarterly report card assessing the top management of 25 major federal agencies and departments.

It uses a “Stoplight Scoring System,� with green for success, yellow for mixed results, and red for unsatisfactory.

I guess I should give the administration some points for knowing which color means what, but c’mon. This isn’t even the “Gold Star Scoring System”™. Granted, the GSS has some flaws, but at least it’s entrusted to the evaluation of our nation’s kindergardeners.


Wow! Something Mikey’s wrong about! Finally…


When I hear football nutjobs discussing in meticulous detail the condition of the medial collateral ligament of some linebacker I’ve never heard of all I can think of is “gawd, what are they missing in life, and what must their wive’s life be like?�….

Ah, the leisure time fascists, aren’t they great? Oh wait, no they’re not, they’re pains in the ass.

C’mon Mikey, spill. What do you like to do when you’re not working or constantly posting to S!N. I’m 99.9% certain you don’t spend evenings trying to solve the problem of cold fusion, cure cancer or AIDS or anything like that, so I’m sure you won’t mind if we mock and scorn [i]your[/i] leisure time activities.


Aw, mikey, cut it out. Give us our brief moment of joy.

Fuck you, University of Spoiled Children!


ahh Micky is talking like so chicks will think he is ‘deep’



GSA Administrator Lurita Alexis Doan, a Bush political appointee and former government contractor, has proposed cutting $5 million in spending on audits and shifting some responsibility for contract reviews to small, private audit contractors.

The second part is teh awsome. Turning over the oversight of government contracts to private contractors. They’re not even trying to be subtle, if they ever were.

Ya gotta love this quote:

“There are two kinds of terrorism in the US: the external kind; and, internally, the IGs have terrorized the Regional Administrators,” Doan said, according to the notes.

Never mind those heavily-armed militia types. The real internal terrorists are those damned inspectors general.


I fucking love this thread more than any other in history. Actually I’m listening to Elvis Costello and trying to figure out the motivation of a woman with a good career would throw her life away for a guy wrongly incarcerated in pelican bay. It’s this goddam novel….



I’m sure you won’t mind if we mock and scorn [i]your[/i] leisure time activities.

Go back to your forums, nerd! Wtfpwnt!


But…ummmm…c’mon, guys….I’m like serious here, it’s…. No, see, what I’m saying here is…Ummm, you know, it’s the…I mean, the whole thing is…


Umm, ok, right?



I keep tellin ya, I’m with you mikey,

it’s a good excuse for a party though.


Mikey: Women are hard-wired to defend innocence wronged. That’s really all the motivation she needs. Plus she may be bored…

I’m with Mikey on this one. Maybe it’s living in Iowa and being exposed to the relentless stupidity of the Hawkeyes/Cyclones rivalry… Really, I can’t even imagine how anyone could care. I try to ignore it, but the other day I accidentally learned that the Hawk is named “Herky” or something phonetically similar.

Never mind…. back to nerd land. Carry on, and pardon my intrusion.


We’ll see you in the Halliburton Cobag Bowl.

Also known as the Rose Bowl, where USC will be playing Michigan when Florida leapfrogs them in the BCS.


Hmmm, it does seem as if I end up with the chix, y’know? That’s gonna burn a little…



Guy walks into a computer store. The clerk comes up to him, all excited, and announces the advent of a new computer that can converse on any IQ level.

“Really? Set it for 180, and have it select a topic.”

The clerk does so, and the computer says, “Let’s discuss quantum mechanics!”

“Hmmm….. pretty cool. Set it for 130.”

The computer adjusts, and says, “Let’s talk about politics.”

“That’s fascinating, alright! Hey, let’s set it for 85 and see what it wants to talk about!”

The computer ruminates a moment, and then a gruff voice says, very mano-a-mano, “How ’bout them Hawks?”


No way Florida deserves to leapfrog Michigan. Florida is the most talented team in the nation but has underachieved all year. Besides, the TV powers want a rematch.

The BCS is anti-SEC because of their conference. Its total bullshit. Only in figure skating and college football do we not have a playoff.


sorry, I hardly ever get to tell that joke.


g said it all:

Fuck you, University of Spoiled Children!


If it is Mich-OSU then what does that accomplish? Mich did not win its conference. It is the national chamionship, not the Big10. If they put that up it is bogus. The only way to measure it with the complete lack of a play off is to take another team from another conference. As much as I hate Florida, they seem to be the one.


The BCS is BS. You can’t poll to get the top teams… Gawd imagine if the NFL did that.

Either way, the Championship should be between the top two teams in the country, so it should be Ohio/Michigan.

But I may have a Big 10 bias…


Scoff all you want, mikey, but I’m planning on making a fortune with my Official Little League World Series Fantasy Baseball franchaise.
Come oooon, little Timmy! Throw to first!

James Van Allen's Bitter Ghost

Gosh Candy, a ‘clowns joke. Did McCartney tell you that one before or after he finished smacking up his wife?
That was a good one though, must the longest novel ever produced by the Ames High-School-After-High-School Writers Workshop.

Ahh, that’s right, you don’t “care” about the whole instate rivalry thing. I suppose next you’ll be saying you used to be a Democrat but of course a Truman Democrat – “before they got all soft.”


My younger, randier self, as a neutral observer would of course root for USC Cheerleaders. Hello sweata!


always thinking with your johnson, Trolly.

I think Fl. gets the shot, my super secret allegiance to a certain frozen assed monolithic state school ruthless mammals says Michigan, but if you want to play old school, they got their shot at Ohio St. I mean, what if Michigan beats Ohio St. on a last minute field goal in a rematch- you are supposed to say, “yeah, they’re better?” It is just hard.


and I will punch you like Gregor punching Timeclock if you say playoff.

(everyone knows Gregor doesn’t really punch Timeclock)


College football is a sport; Pro ball is a business (like Budweiser and Ford, for example.)


but if you want to play old school, they got their shot at Ohio St. I mean, what if Michigan beats Ohio St. on a last minute field goal in a rematch- you are supposed to say, “yeah, they’re better?

Yes. How hard is it for you people (and quite frankly, I’m surprised at you, PP) to tell the difference between a game played at one team’s home stadium and neutral site game. Find me another sport who plays one game for all the marbles, and also plays that game on something other than a neutral site. NBA, NHL, MLB, they all play a series of games, with contests at both teams’ home venues. But the Super Bowl? The NCAA basketball championship? There’s a reason those are at neutral sites. It’s not a difficult concept to grasp.

To leave Michigan out of the NC game is punish them for a) being in the same conference as OSU, and b) having the misfortune of having this year’s game played in Columbus.

Look, Michigan and Florida both beat every team put in front of them except one. Michigan has the better loss. Michigan deserves to go. End of story. And anyone who disagrees with me is a total cobag.


Speaking of which, does anyone want to join the Ladies Pro Bowling Fantasy League I’m starting?


saying one team has the better loss is a meaningless statement. And quit thinking that big 11 home field means diddly squat.


to add to that, we can argue all night about which conference is better, SEC or Big 10/11, but there is no argument in terms of fans and their cheering at the games.


Make it a Senior Ladies Pro Bowling Fantasy League, and I’m THERE, Mark.


Ya know, if Michigan’s season didn’t end two weeks ago… there wouldn’t be an argument.

Bye weeks rule… oh wait Michigan got one. 🙂


Oh, man. I just came back from attending a 4 hour — that’s FOUR HOURS — concert/slash tribute appearance.

It was for a venerable music personality, and the honoree certainly deserved tribute. Only I don’t know why he fucking deserved FOUR HOURS worth of tribute. Especially because it wasn’t FOUR HOURS of music; it was about two hours of music and TWO FUCKING HOURS of repetitive speeches combined with agonizingly long stage-setting changes.

My ass is sore from sitting in a theatre chair for four hours.


Bring on the rematch. It’s about the two best teams, nothing more or less. I don’t care what conference they’re in, I don’t care when their loss happened. Two best teams.
And that first game was amazing.



Yes, it’s about the two best teams, and Mich. (UM means University of Mississippi, or Ole Miss) just isn’t one of them. They blew it.

Time to settle the your-conference/team/schedule-is-overrated crap, and the only way to do that is pit OSU against FL.

The question is, where do they send Mich.? Do you get plastered by USC? Do you get to play the most truly overrated team in collegiate sports, Notre Dame?

Even on the cynical “It’s about $$$” level – which I agree with, nobody in the country outside of Michigan is interested in seeing a rematch. If it happens, it’s the end of the BCS.


Florida v. Ohio State. Nough said.

And USC can suck it 😀


College football is a sport; Pro ball is a business (like Budweiser and Ford, for example.)

Ahh, the wide-eyed innocence of youth.

And watch what you all say about Iowa — my wife is a Hawkeye, and as a result, Iowa is my family’s favorite college team (since I went to school in a league that was once at the pinnacle of college football but elected to bow out of the entire championship process in favor of retaining some academic integrity). Of course, the Hawkeye-ism applies only to football as long as Steve Alford continues to coach the basketball team.


For all those haters out there, the Big 10 holds 33.33% of the Top 10. If you don’t want MI to play OH State, then I suggest WI. We, too, have only one loss.


coldH2Owi –

What you meant to say was:
“For all you haters out there, the SEC holds 33.33% of the Top 10. If you don’t want FL to play OH State, then I would suggest LSU. We’re ranked ahead of Wisconson even though we have two losses, because we play in the toughest conference in the history of college football.”


Oh, and Louisville is ranked ahead of WI, too. How did that happen?


The Gators deserve their shot at the National Championship. There was no better place to be than here in Gainesville last night. I have never seen more dedicated fans in my entire life. If the Gators win the championship, that will make it the best year ever in sports for me: Steelers, Heat, Gator Basketball, Gator Football. I think I’ll have to retire.


It’s the only way I can become the first Ohio State QB to beat Michigan 4 times.


It’s settled. Gators to kick buckeye butt.


Gators to kick buckeye butt.

ITYM ‘lick’, given that the SEC this year has been atrocious, and the only people who haven’t grasped that are the goons who’ve swallowed the myth of the SEC’s supremacy. And I say that as someone who’s endured SEC matchups on CBS every fucking weekend.


Wisconsin is rated lower because our players are more debonair, intelligent, and graceful;

Not to mention being better endowed.

The UCS rating boys are just handicapping, is all.


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