good god.
julia gorin found a haircut that makes her look worse than she did before. that’s quite a feat.
and they really know how to get ahead in the entertainment industry. rag on oprah, wonderful plan.

Oh gawd…it’s like staring into the face of hell, only less funny. I am less smart for watching that.

However, the guy in the second video needs to marry me.

How do you wind up with too much make-up for YouTube?

shit sandwich

You son of a bitch. You have killed humor for me. Thanks. Now there’s nothing between me and the harsh, pointless, bleak, pain-filled reality that is life.
I hope you’re happy.
Now I have to go to Hot Topic and buy everything they have in black. I am a shadow vampire, coiled around the world like the viper of Satan.

What the hell? Was this filmed on a freaking cell phone? It’s fucking 2006. Buy a goddamn video camera that wasn’t made in the Reagan administration.
And spend five bucks on a set. Blue screen does not make you cool. It does not make you funny. It makes you look like a Star Wars nerd filming your own lightsaber battle that you’re going to splice into the Deep Space 9 movie on your Macintosh.

I made it through the school “skit” then click ahead a few times, then gave up.

I find it interesting that these uber patriotic, O’Reilly-hungry women use an American flag for a tablecloth!!!

I haven’t felt THIS embarrassed for ANYONE since the first time I saw “The Star Wars Holiday Special” when it FIRST AIRED on network TV way back in 1978 (or was that 1977…)

I liked how they didn’t even bother to strip the audio from the b-roll reaction shots. Hearing the lines echoed really takes the unfunniness and kicks it up a notch.

Clap.

Clap.

Clap.

Bravo.

Why are Republicans so unfunny, and why do they think that they comedy gods?

Some one should point out to them that O’Reilly and Oprah are COMPLETLY DIFFERENT demographics, and it makes no sense for her to waste her show on him.

Jesus.

That just makes my ass bleed with sadness.

Is this the show that Joel Surnow and Fox News are producing together? I think it is. Gorin and Surnow are both on that nutty right-wing blog
http://www.politicalmavens.com

Yeah, I made it to 1:48. Got about 2 seconds of one of them saying something but recoiled in horror at the AMERICAN FLAG TABLECLOTH.

They probably figure this is, like, “edgy” or something like that.

I would LOVE to hear their thoughts on the flag-desecration amendment… On second thought, no.

The fact is, I’m sure Gary loves it.

Did I hear the second guy correctly? He mentioned something about them getting on Fox? Now, that is kind of awesome. They didn’t learn their lesson from Dennis Miller- they’re not seriously thinking of giving these twits a budget and a time slot?

That would be the death of them. Can’t happen soon enough.

Oy vey.

maybe they’re trying to get the Star Wars Kid to make an appearance on their blue-screen set? that’s all i can think that might improve their “show.”

oh yeah, and jokes. ANY jokes. my eyes and ears are bleeding, in deference to tbogg’s, um, unfortunate reaction.

All we are saying, is give peace a chance.

Those douchebags and douchebaguettes never published my comment on their last piece of douchebaggery. I guess I’m going to have to resort to subterfuge.

She’s bringin’ teh funny, right? She’s gotta bring teh funny! Oh please, Dear Xenu, SOMEBODY tell me she’s bringin’ teh funny!!!

The America Show – it’s The Daily Show with a head trauma!

Great, now I get to sleep with that abomination (and I watched the whole thing) being the last thing I see. Thanks, guys.

Christ, I saw funnier shows when I was working in public access.

I saw this a few times in college. A few frat buddies get together, convinced they’re teh_funny and should start an improv comedy troupe/parody newspaper/novelty song act. They get together one night, pound down a couple Bud Lites, and start producing material — prodigiously, enthusiastically, dozens of pages. And they never watch anything new or try to figure out why what they’re copying works or doesn’t, and they never show the scripts to anyone outside their little clique. Polarization sets in.

It is always a disaster. Bad ideas are never pruned back — these groups never edit anything out. Good ideas get expanded on too, but end up so packed with in-jokes that nobody in the audience has a clue what’s going on. And of course, all the writers are also the performers, whether they can act or not.

Fortunately, after the first issue/performance/concert, the frat brothers lose interest and the whole thing dies.

That said, the idea of Bill O’Reilly being Dr. Philled is mildly amusing, for about half a second.

Who is the second guy? He’s fabulous! He needs his own show!

I… I didn’t watch the first clip, guys. I’m sorry. I couldn’t. I got to the image of Bill O’Reilly and stopped. I already wrote you a one-act in the comments about the woman who thought the dean was stealing cartoons.

Hey, at least they got props this time and the camera stayed still.

Dude has Clinton’s My Life on his top bookshelf.

You shall not watch “The America Show,” for it is an abomination.

I haven’t laughed so hard since I saw Kissinger do his Allende is Dead bit at the Topeka Ramada Inn.

Watching these women? would sap any man’s precious bodily essence.

Hmm, perhaps that will be my comment.

Wasn’t the America Show on Jeff Goldstein’s Midnight Blue, back in the day?

Nobody could have anticipated that conservaloonies wouldn’t be funny.

I don’t know, I watched the latest ep of The America Show, and there were a couple of times when I cracked a smile …

Oh wait, I was accidently playing the tape from my grandmother’s funeral …

Never mind.

For the love of GOD! (and possibbly the Geneva Conventions….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are Republicans so unfunny, and why do they think that they comedy gods?

The same reason your dog thinks that fake-the-ball-throw trick is hilarious, no matter how often the other dog is fooled. Republicans are willfully stupid, and therefore prefer their “comedy” confined to the half-dozen guaranteed laff lines that also inform their political theorizing: Michael Moore is FAT! Hillary Clinton is a DYKE! Bill Clinton, his PENIS!…

When a Repub comic wants to get “edgy”, they just mix the two halves of the flashcards: Michael Moore is A DYKE! Hillary Clinton is FAT!

This is not funny to those of us who have advanced past third-grade reading comprehension, but (as Dennis Miller would say) who cares what us FAT DYKES WITH PENISES laugh about anyways?

If you want to understand or FSM forbid produce Repub humor, go back to what you found funny in kindergarten… and then imagine you’d been taken out of kindergarten and confined to a basement for the next 20 or 40 years.

I made the mistake of clicking on gorin’s personal site. it’s as bad as you’d expect, but the inclusion of interviews in huster and penthouse seems a little at odds with her whole democrats are whores schtick. I don’t think an unfunny russian jew who does bits in porn mags is gonna do well with fox’s heartland demo.
then again, rush limbaugh is a junkie and been divorced plenty of times, and bill o’reilly is a registered sex offender.

And this is why I have a dial-up connection. So I don’t have to watch your sorry-ass videos. I can can look at the still-image place-holder for the top video, and tell from the gestures that the two comics are signing out their jokes in ASL… that gives them full credit for recognising Deaf Rights, but no credit at all for jokeyness.

If you want to understand or FSM forbid produce Repub humor, go back to what you found funny in kindergarten… and then imagine you’d been taken out of kindergarten and confined to a basement for the next 20 or 40 years.

I disagree. Kindergarteners have a more sophisticated sense of humor than these women.

I have fond memories of kindergarten. Please, don’t limbaugh all over them.

I simply cannot fathom that these women are serious. This must be an amateur grab at something like Colbert parody. Please say this is so.

I got to the image of Bill O’Reilly and stopped.

Exactly the same moment I did.

Eff these pasty faced Emeffers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm1kxdv-Xio

Rock out!!!!

Bring back the video wars, if you’re going to dig up the worst of YouTube.

Compared to the wars, this is more like domestic terrorism.

Okay. I’ve been lurking here for more than a year, and this evening, in an effort to help the community of which I’ve been a silent member, I learned javascript, the DOM model and greasemonkey just so I could bring you an antitroll script to eliminate annieangel posts.

To use it, e-mail me at johngalt41@hot mail (dot)com. I’ll send you a copy of it – I’d post it here, but I have no idea how badly the javascript would screw up the comments.

It’s based on the antitroll script from balloon-juice only inasmuch as it will replace any comment by annieangel with “I like pie!”.

To install it, save it to your hard drive – feel free to open it in a text editor – it’s pretty damn simple – only 37 lines in total. Use Firefox, install greasemonkey, browse to the file on your hard drive, install it, and voila, annie likes pie more than she likes derailing the comment section.

I’ve tested it reasonably well in several threads. It doesn’t do anything terribly complicated, so it’s not likely to break anything, but [insert standard lawyer-y text here]. Like I said, I just learned javascript this afternoon, so it could probably be more efficient, but it does the trick right good.

You know its bad when you start laughing before they ever reach the punchline.

I can’t get the word “Vapid” out of my head!!!!!!!

If you want to understand or FSM forbid produce Repub humor, go back to what you found funny in kindergarten… and then imagine you’d been taken out of kindergarten and confined to a basement for the next 20 or 40 years.
—————————–
I disagree. Kindergarteners have a more sophisticated sense of humor than these women.
——————————–
I have fond memories of kindergarten. Please, don’t limbaugh all over them.

You have to factor in the “confined to a basement for the next 20 years” part, though. Kaspar Hauser was fortunate enough to be born before YouTube, or we’d remember him as a lousy joke instead of an intriguing Fortean enigma. I don’t know exactly how the Repubs manage to produce such social isolation without getting busted by Child Protective Services, but that’s the best I can come up with!

Interesting choice of names for a would be fascist such as yourself, Mr. Galt. I am sure everyone here will be e-mailing you.

A Tribute to Annie Angel

This is so bad, I was convinced it had to be some “libruls” mocking what they thought a wingnut “comedy” show might look like.

But from reading the comments, I guess that’s no “evil librul” joke, it’s the real thing. Is that crapbasket really airing on TV?

Thank god I don’t have the same ass-bleeding condition as TBogg, cuz if I did it would sure be flaring up right about now.

Near the end, the one on the left (Florina?) gives us this little gem:

“Self-mutilation runs in my family…I don’t want to talk about it today.”

We really need to encourage this. Go to their site, tell them how funny they are. Don’t over do it. Republicans have no idea what’s funny so they need to be told. If we can get them to push this crap to primetime and forever connect it to Fox it will be an assisted suicide. This crap will never wash out once they start to use it. America has seen some bad TV (remember the musical cop show around 10 years ago starring Mandy Potamkin?) but this will be a nadir that is covered in suck.

Whoa! That was bad! And not, like, “hey man, that blues riff was baa-aad!” but like, “Aaah! Fire ants have infested my Speedo! This is bad!” That kind of bad.

I get all warm and fuzzy inside whenever someone stands up for Bill “sexually harrassed his employee, invited al-Qaeda to attack America, blamed the Malmedy massacre on US troops, threated to “tear” Jeremy Glick apart” O’Reilly.

shit sandwich

Post of the week.

you all realize, this was filmed before a live studio audience. or, at least, they were alive at the beginning of the show.

It’s important that the shit is between bread slices, or you’d get it all over your hands.

Doesn’t that clip violate the Geneva Conventions? Or does it not count as torture if I gouge out my own eyes?

If you want to understand or FSM forbid produce Repub humor, go back to what you found funny in kindergarten… and then imagine you’d been taken out of kindergarten and confined to a basement for the next 20 or 40 years.

Well honestly, I still think poo and pee jokes are the apex of humor. But the trick is refinement…

Shoelimpy – you and annieangel can go fellate each other on your own sites. Your ‘tribute’ is a waste of space. Please, for the love of God, please stop.

You both are obnoxious parodies. Annie Angel is some weird, aged harpy whose only remaining ‘assets’ are her ‘legs’. She isn’t funny. She isn’t sexy.

You aren’t funny. You aren’t sexy. Stop playing with your stupid hair. Stop fellating annie angel with your terribly fuctastic ‘video skillz’. We don’t want to be a party to your two-person circle jerk.

Thanks,

the internets.

It would only be fair, and put the universe back on track, if all of us who watched the whole video were struck blind and deaf for 9 minutes.

Even Christopher Guest wouldn’t touch this.

If they love America as much as they say they do, why are they using the flag as a tablecloth?

FWIW, I don’t think the developmental level of their “humor” is actually kindergarten. Kindergartners, like Gavin, are all about the pee and the poop and they giggle fetchingly about both.

No, these are seventh-graders. Maybe sixth. No joy, no innocence, no whimsy — just embarrassingly self-satisfied stupidity and awkward, overwrought delivery. Locked in a basement for decades following kindergarten would be a tragedy, but self-imposed exile in middle school broadcast for public consumption is a war crime.

Holy dogshit…

I’ve seen roadkills and crime scene photos that were less tragically unfunny than this so called “conservative comedy”

i’ve suffered through beatings, car-wrecks and dental procedures that were more entertaining.

These people suck harder than the backflow machine in a colonic spa

Like watching a car wreck in slo-mo.

I couldn’t make it through the school sketch. The only way i could watch the squeaky blonde in the middle is if she were starring in a snuff film.

i thought it was a spoof of conservatives. now that i see that it’s real conservatives, it’s funny thinking of how spoofs of conservatives are right on target!

Nothing will ever seem funny again.

Please, please, PLEASE let them air this on Fox!

Now *that* would make it funny.

I made it all the way to the end of the clip. Don’t ask me how.

There’s a horrifying kind of anti-talent at work here. It these women truly pooled their energies, I’m convinced they could suck all humor from the known Universe.

There’s a horrifying kind of anti-talent at work here. It these women truly pooled their energies, I’m convinced they could suck all humor from the known Universe.

Yes, Kevin, it’s true that when elemental subatomic humor particles, or humorons, collide with anti-humorons, they annihilate and cease to exist.

Fortunately, a quirk in the universe’s early life resulted, as with other forms of matter, in an excess of humorons in proportion to ani-humorons. So even if the Suck Queens manage an anti-humoron beam of Fermilab-like intensity, the humorons, and the essential force they mediate (called teh funny) will still be with us, in all likelihood.

Now, some schools of thought claim that anti-humorons are really just humorons traveling the opposite direction in time. Therefore, I propose a test: Does the clip suddenly become funny viewed backwards?

More study is needed. Anyone here write grants?

Of course, if anti-humorons are just backwards-traveling humorons, then there’s the matter of the question: What past did they come from, if they were there at the universe’s birth? Is teh suckness a force more elemental than spacetime itself? Or is the answer much less exotic, such as: Conservatism is a form of entropy, so its mode of action is to wreck things.

Dear God let Fox run this show. It would be like having the Wall Street Journal run Chris Muir. You know how all the other news channels wish they were more like Fox? They won’t any more.

You were only half right about it being “dire”.

I dunno, MCH…

“Humerons?” “Anti-Humerons?” Sounds like fuzzy science to me. What’s next? “Evolution?” “Global Warming?” Let’s not venture down THAT slippery slope!

Notorious P.A.T. said,

November 28, 2006 at 16:36

shit sandwich

Post of the week.
————————-

I liked:

“That just makes my ass bleed with sadness.”

The America Show gals are surely creaming in their panties right now, ‘cos NewsMax is offering:

Ronald Reagan’s Greatest Laughs

FREE OFFER — Get “Ronald Reagan’s Greatest Laughs” FREE, Click Here.

If you love Ronald Reagan — or just enjoy laughing — you need to get NewsMax.com’s special audio program “Ronald Reagan’s Greatest Laughs.”

This unique program brings together Ronald Reagan’s best jokes, one-liners and funny stories.

Reagan often used humor to inform, and you’ll share in his insights.

No other President in modern times has used humor to capture the attention of the American people like Ronald Reagan did.

During several decades of public service Ronald Reagan used his gift of humor as a tool and a weapon against his adversaries, unlike a lot of politicians who memorize stunt jokes to lighten up and entertain the crowd.

Reagan had true wit and used humor in both public and private occasions. He was a funny man.

Laughter was his way of creating a special warmth, like an electric arc between him and his audience. There’s a lot we can learn from Reagan’s humor.

For those who believe that Ronald Reagan was an icon, this audio program will bring back great memories. For those of you who want to know what Reagan really believed, you’ll find that out also.

In “Ronald Reagan’s Greatest Laughs” you’ll laugh as the Gipper uses wit:

* to expose big government
* to defeat the Evil Empire
* to take the Democrats to task
* to learn from children
* to make light of his deficiencies and weaknesses
* to take on the liberal press like Sam Donaldson
* to make light of fellow conservatives
* to live a happier, smarter life
… and much, much more.

And for students of communication, you’ll learn from the Great Communicator himself just how to use humor, make a point, deflect criticism, defang an enemy, win friends and elections, and influence people worldwide.

So sit back, relax, laugh, and enjoy “Ronald Reagan’s Greatest Laughs.”

Length: 50 Minutes

to take on the liberal press like Sam Donaldson

I agree. There’s nothing funnier than watching Ronald Reagan impersonate Sam Donaldson taking on the liberal press.

Oh, and don’t miss the DVD extras and bonus footage on “Ronald Reagan’s Greatest Laughs”!

* The Catchphrase Heard ‘Round the World: A 40-minute behind-the-scenes look at “There you go again!”, the withering rebuke of Jimmy Carter that cemented Ronald Reagan as a comedic genius. Features commentary from National Review funnyman Jonah Goldberg and over 50 original line readings of “There you go again!” from conservative radio hosts and pundits!

* The Gipper’s Goofy Gagmen: Featuring never-before-seen footage of the comedy stylings of James Watt, Caspar Weinberger and Donald Regan!

* Forgetfulness Follies: A special retrospective of Reagan’s most senile moments, sure to convince even the most liberal crybaby that being old and retarded is way funnier than being fat and jolly!

* “The bombing begins in five minutes”: There’s yuks galore in this Top 10 list of the Dumbest Things a Modern President Ever Said! Amazingly, only two presidents make up the entire list: Ronald Reagan and … well, you’ll have to see it to find out!

Good God. That was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

Sheesh, Demogenes! Reading the ad copy for the Ronnie yukfest made me think the copywriters doth protest too much.

If you love Ronald Reagan — or just enjoy laughing —… Reagan’s best jokes, one-liners and funny stories… Reagan often used humor… No other … has used humor … like Ronald Reagan… Reagan used his gift of humor…
Laughter was his way … learn from Reagan’s humor …

I mean, cripes! But in the midst of all that they still thought they needed my favorite overdone lines:

Reagan had true wit and used humor in both public and private occasions. He was a funny man.

If someone is known to be funny, at all, by anyone, such a line is superfluous. Would one say “Comedians have true wit and use humor”? “Comedians are funny people”? “Most men are male”? “Blue skies are blue”?

Maybe they should have just gone with “Ronnie funny! Ronnie funny! Michael fat, Ronnie FUNNY!� and saved the money they spent on column inches and Frank J’s cheap Mexicans.

Nope. Still not clicking. No matter how many times you post YouTubes of these idiots, I am not clicking on them.

Because I value the brain cells I have left.

Hang tough, Gentlewoman. Knowing full well how wrong it was, I succumbed. To my credit, I turned away in revulsion about 30 seconds in, but that’s 30 seconds I’ll never get back.

Julia Groin. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Laughter was his way of creating a special warmth, like an electric arc between him and his audience.

If they didn’t laff enuf, Ronnie had his SS agents taser them until they wet their shorts.

It’s all in the interpretation, people.

If they didn’t laff enuf, Ronnie had his SS agents taser them until they wet their shorts.

It’s all in the interpretation, people.

Now, that’s funny!

See how it’s done, conservatards? Play on words (electric arc), reference to current events (UCLA police tasering college student IN THE LIBRARY), see?

No, of course you don’t see. That’s why you’re conservatards. *sighs*

We’ll keep trying. Because at some point, you folks really will have to become part of the reality-based community again. I believe that time is rapidly approaching.

Unfortunately for you (and far more unfortunately for our thousands of dead and wounded troops, and for the hundreds of thousands of dead and wounded Iraqis), you’re far too late.

What’s funniest is they have to approve comments…God forbid the managment at Fox would take a look at the comments section and see:

Views: 4,346 |Comments: 12 |Favorited: 22 times

Now…that many people viewed it and they could only approve 12!!!

And favorited 22 times out of 4,346 views would get them yanked anywhere…even on Boise Public Access which they’re not even worthy of…
I guess it’s all a hustle to them anyway they just wanna get paid and not be a “squirrel in the park looking for free nuts”…oh god did I just quote that crap!!!!

Just kill me now.

I think in hell one of the punishments is conservative ‘humor ‘on a loop.

They haven’t approved any of my comments so far. *sniff*

Wow. The female version of Lieutenant Steve: “In my heart, I know I’m funny.”

FWIW, this is my latest comment attempt:

I agree with jackdboston! When will conservatives have program we can finally watch?

I’m trying to get sneaky in my old age.

the show also looks very cheap too.

I think the implication behind routines making fun of single mothers and other relatively powerless people is supposed to be that you don’t really mean it.

Or is Andrew Dice Clay packin’ ’em in these days?

the “Kramer” guy was funnier

at least the audience got a chance to fight back in that one

I just though of something

Ronnie Raygun might have been funny, but now he’s dead

there’s a repuglican who far surpassed Ronnie Raygun, and he’s still alive

maybe Gerald Ford could save this train wreck

and motherlowman, KUDOS for the “Lt steve” reference

who DOESN’T like Polka’s ???

This makes me think of the scene in My Favorite Year in which Mark Linn-Baker is trying to teach Jessica Harper to tell a joke. He discovers that it is………impossible. Same thing here, it is uncanny how clueless these Con-Slags are, Please God please let Rupert Murdoch sink millions, no billions into developing unknown Neo-Coms.

“What happened to Ronnie??”

He got Alzheimer’s and died. Much like I wish I could do after seeing this abomination.

Im sure barbra(papa)bush waz laughin her beutiful mind off……..I think these women seriously need to get laid by a gay hooker

Thanks for the lovely comment Gary. I do have my own show, a podcast, find it at: lettertoamerica.blogs.com – and of course thanks to the folks at this fine site for posting to my vid.

Pathetic.

That is pretty much the comedic equivilant of the music of the shaggs.

http://www.shaggs.com/

That really hurt, but I think it the best, most honest view of conservatives every.

For a palette cleanser, enjoy the web comic http://www.drunkduck.com/Taking_Stock

It *might* stop your anus from bleeding. No guarantees though.

Um, those idiots should learn to use google. O’Reilly HAS been on Oprah!
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200610/tows_past_20061027.jhtml

Yea, but 2 B fair, did U watch the whole show,
I admit, I’d fail, but i don’t get hee-hawz or have 2 know what I’m talking about.

I really didn’t understand what I just watched. Was that really supposed to be funny? Seriously, was it? I made it though some of it–the beginning and then FFing through the rest. I don’t get it at all.

MCH’s comment:

“Yes, Kevin, it’s true that when elemental subatomic humor particles, or humorons, collide with anti-humorons, they annihilate and cease to exist.

Fortunately, a quirk in the universe’s early life resulted, as with other forms of matter, in an excess of humorons in proportion to ani-humorons. So even if the Suck Queens manage an anti-humoron beam of Fermilab-like intensity, the humorons, and the essential force they mediate (called teh funny) will still be with us, in all likelihood.

Now, some schools of thought claim that anti-humorons are really just humorons traveling the opposite direction in time. Therefore, I propose a test: Does the clip suddenly become funny viewed backwards?…”

saved my soul.

Please JebusBuddahAllah, let this get put on primetime on any Fox station. There’s a ring of hell dedicated to this somewhere and Fox so richly deserves being singed with this abomination. I know! Put it on right before O’Reilly; he’d be off the air in days.

“motherlowman said,
December 1, 2006 at 2:51
Wow. The female version of Lieutenant Steve: “In my heart, I know I’m funny.�

No, these three make Lt. Steve look like the perfect combination of Robin Williams, Lenny Bruce and Steve Martin, crossed with the Monty Python hive-mind. They are teh anti-funny

[…] Fox News quickly announced they will be releasing their own new show which will combat “Lil’ Bush” and appeal to the humor and sensibility of their viewers. The “news” channel has ordered three dozen new episodes of some dudes sticking Mentos into a full two-liter bottle of Coke. […]

I’ve tried to watch these videos. I’ve started three or four, but about two minutes in, I give up waiting for the funny stuff. My grade school kids are funnier working without a script.

You nailed it.
The America Show not funny whatsoever. The right wing propaganda is so hugely unsubtle that it is an insult to whoever gets stuck watching this poop (and that includes Republicans). As a matter of fact, this is so goddamned bad that Shrub could have written it by himself with his little crayon.
Fox is in trouble if this is the best that they can come up with.

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