C’mon People Now, Smile On Your Brother…

M.Sphinx said,
November 14, 2006 at 21:47

At this rate that Ace of Spades logo’s going to end up at the Louvre.

Oh no, it’s definitely working. Protein Wisdom is reduced to making fun of the handicapped, and Captain Ed is, like, reclined in his Barcalounger on his second glass of port:

In all my years, I have never understood the supposed charm of the Mile High Club. In modern jets, the seats are far too cramped, and the bathrooms are worse. The flight experience produces physical reactions closer to a hangover than sexual arousal, and anyone who thinks that mutual sexual gratification can take place under such circumstances…


I’m thinking maybe a silhouette of an eagle, then a tasteful border of John Bolton heads?


Tabloid Claim: Kevin Federline Threatens To Sell Britney Spears Sex Tape Unless She Gives Him $30 Million

This could well be the greatest divorce ever.



Comments: 84


Damn. That’s very nice work. I’m digging frantically thru old backup cds to find my old Gringo Suave logo for you to work on. The Bolton heads would give it a kind of “Apocalypse Now” feel. I like it…



I think we’re that close to an animation effect.

PamAtlas swooping in, Monty Python-like, to chomp the head?


Since there’s already a John Bolton head featured prominently in front of the crossed swords, I think the Bolton heads around the border would be overkill.

Oh, that’s not Bolton. That’s Rumsfeld. My bad. Carry on.

(How about a bunch of Bolton heads along the U.S. border? THAT would keep the Messcans and the Canadians out!)


Hmmm. To borrow from Wellington in Blackadder III, I think you might want to change the crossed swords to crossed dead Frenchmen.


A free floating yet impeccably groomed Bolton moustache would be a nice touch


Bolton moustache, or Lemmy?!

If you like to gamble, I tell you I’m your man,

You win some, lose some, all the same to me,

The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say,

I don’t share your greed, the only card I need is

The Ace Of Spades


Can you make it play “Let The Eagle Soar”?


When you’re finished, do we have to guess which Grateful Dead album cover it is?


Looka this.

Here, bad marriages turn women into lesbos. In Europe, the same bust-ups make ’em into Islamofascists. So saith Mark Steyn.


Would the skull look better as an animated gif?


How about doing a rethink on Pammy Atlas’s “Superwoman” graphic next? Put her in a nice ladylike frock and pearls sipping tea. Something more fitting for a woman of her years and social standing, anyway.

And then give Anny Althouse a hair color that occurs in nature….


Is it only me who finds the idea of Captain Ed conversing about the Mile High Club slightly disturbing? I mean…ew.


Who’s talking about mutual satisfaction? At this rate Ace will be a feminist before the log gets into the Louvre- maybe it will be close. If the skull could sort of appear that would be amazing, then the eyes should flame on and then kind of burn. This is amazing topped with awesome and some stupendous sauce.


Oh that was Cap’n Ed? He should have said “…and what is the DEAL with the mile high club? Could somebody please explain….”

then *rimshot*


That banner looks professional. Send it to Ace when you’re done. You should remix other wingnut blog graphics.

I was going to suggest an eyepatch, bloody teeth, a gold or platinum grill, a pentagram on the forehead, etc., but that’s too camp.

Maybe you could add a cross. Then the skull would be one of those badass clash-of-civilizations types.


Would the skull look better as an animated gif?

Too easy to make it ridiculous, and that wouldn’t be nice. But opening the jaws a little’d make it scarier.


the skull’s forehead is too empty– I suggest a bullet hole. There’s also no subliminal boobs anywhere, so maybe the spade should be shaded accordingly. And if you’ve got flames but no silhouette of the WTC towers anywhere, then you’ve got perfectly good flames going to waste.

And yeah, give the skull a gold tooth.


definitely a gold grill.


Befitting his moniker, you could add liberal doses of Fraktur and go for a Motorhead thing. (Who wants to bet whether Lemmy or Ace would come out on top in a head-to-head on Hot or Not?)

Or swap the swords for pistols, add a few flowers, and it’s almost Guns’n’Roses, even though though Pam is more Axl than Ace could ever be.


You know, at least when the dems were out of power, we still attempted to keep the political discussion going.
Didn’t see anyone posting, “You know what’s wrong with canned soup these days?!”


Captain Ed’s disdain for the Mile High Club award is rather like George Bush’s disdain for the Nobel Peace Prize. Neither of them is likely to have the opportunity to take such an award home with them. And for Ed the reason is not solely because he’d have a hard time fitting anyone else in the airplane toilet with him.


Gavin: animated skull is good, but animated flames would be even better!


Hm. Maybe all of the above? This could be a longer-term project.

How about with a Gibson Flying V instead of one of the swords, and a snake coming out of the mouth?

Ace is modestly pretending that he doesn’t know we’re doing this.


Cap’n Ed thought he’d become a member of the Mile High club but the rest of the boys told him it didn’t count if you flew solo.


Note that the current smoke in the mouth is filtered.


Can the spade background shift between a spade and an eagle sillouette?


Damn, I think I want that tattoo. Make us an unfogged logo and I’ll love you forever.


I can’t believe there’s no eye-patch on that skull.


(Posted on another thread, but I wanted to toot my own horn. And on topic: maybe stick another cigareete in the other side of the skull’s mouth. I remember Jesse Helms was always thrilled to see maximum use of his state’s best-known crop.)

I found a good way to get revenge on Mr. Steyn: enter his Pelosipalooza! election prediction contest and beat the living shit out of his drooling fan club. (Warning, my sercet identity is REVEALED! Well, sort of, since he misread my email and got some facts wrong about me.)


Great job on the logo so far.

If the conservatives can’t make logos that scare the shit out of us liberals, we’ll make them ourselves!!!

I suggest the addition of a soldier saving an aborted baby from Nancy Pelosi while she’s dry humping an illegal alien on welfare. That would be SO cool…


I would add to AngryKevin’s graphic an image of an Islamocommie taping the action, while John Kerry watches and provides awkward commentary.


It doesn’t surprise me that alcohol was involved in the Southwest Airlines incident. It’s the only lubricant that could possibly convince people to embarrass themselves in public in such a manner.
— Cap’n Ed

Yes, alcohol. Not 16 a year-old page. Send “the randy passenger for a stay at Club Fed.” I totally agree, Ed.


The Oingo Boingo skeleton always had a cocktail in its hand, too….

just sayin’

But then that smoke would have to be a spliff.

Somehow, Lemmy should be in there tho. Maybe a big ol’ mole on the skull?


Wait a minute… shouldn’t there be a rope and some assembly instructions somewhere in that logo?


So does the Social Distortion Skeleton. Always liked that one…



Ooooh, that is one scary logo. Take THAT, Islamofascists!


OK, against my better judgment, I went over to Ace’s Place, and read this in his latest post:

At the very least we need to announce a new nuclear doctrine — something along the lines that any nuclear attack will be met with a devastating nuclear response against any countries (including their citiies) involved in any way in proliferating nuclear weapons.

Double-You Tee Eff? If we adopt that doctrine, wouldn’t that mean that if we got nuked, we’d have to nuke ourselves?

Famous Soviet Athlete

How about with a Gibson Flying V instead of one of the swords, and a snake coming out of the mouth?

And umlauts over every vowel in the title?


If we adopt that doctrine, wouldn’t that mean that if we got nuked, we’d have to nuke ourselves?

Yes, Dan Someone. You need to remember Ace is tough, but fair.


can the skull be inverted a la the omnitrix? I had things on my wrists that
were hard to remove but the called thems handcuffs


a gold tooth and glittering eyes would be nice. I’m tempted to start a blog just to have Gavin do the logo!


How about with a Gibson Flying V instead of one of the swords, and a snake coming out of the mouth?

So many V’s to choose from: a V with flames, a V with an ace on it, a Jackson knockoff V painted like the US flag (scroll down), a Randy Rhoads polka dot V (scroll down again).


Three words:

“crown of thorns”


aye, crown of thorns..

a la

“kill em all, let god sort ’em out”


i also second Lemmy.

very strongly.


or or course, Ace of Base


Speaking of nukes and animated GIFs, that spade would morph nicley into a mushroom cloud – or an ass with a penis in it – whichever Ace prefers.


If we adopt that doctrine, wouldn’t that mean that if we got nuked, we’d have to nuke ourselves?



I support animated flames. Also, how do we feel about befanged red and black death butterflies? Something for the ladies, if you will. It’s likely to be, really, the only thing over there that would appeal to the ladies.


I’m pretty sure I already voted 3 times


Bitchin’, dude. Any further changes would be gilding the lily. Its gotta be chappin’ Mr. Spade’s ace that he could have that sweet logo if he’d only swallow his pride and ask.

I fiddle with the photoshop sometimes, but you’re like an artist and shit. Seriously, how’d you get that good?

herr doktor bimler

If you like to gamble, I tell you I’m your man,
You win some, lose some, all the same to me,

Much as I like Lemmy, I have to agree with Attila the Stockbroker — the lyrics sound better if you sing them in a bad French accent and pretend to be an Existentialist philosopher.

How many more times do we have to mention Lemmy, before Gavin brings out the Mole Man image again?


maybe animate the gif so the jaw drops and it laughs in an evil voice like the computer virus that Jeff Goldblum invented in “Independence Day”


From Ed’s Taxi Cab Confessions
I ran over a few Botts dots and swerved briefly, which kept them from consummating the pending nuptials in the back seat of my cab.

Damn cockblocking taxi drivers.


Can’t believe I actually clicked through to read Ace’s musings on Kevin Federline.

I learned that Ace is apparently puzzled as to how anyone could have a lovemaking session that lasts four hours.

Somehow, this does not surprise me. I could see him expressing the same confusion over any sexual experience that outlasted your average Youtube vid.

He’s seriously never spent an entire Saturday afternoon with the Barry White mulitdisc set on in the background and his lady love by his side? I almost feel bad for him now.

Smiling Mortician

D. Sidhe, I am so picturing your death butterflies. I find that I want them with an unhealthy ardor. But you also mentioned the Ashcroft song, so we’re kind of back at zero.

Oh, and woodrowfan, I’m totally with you. I don’t have a blog, but if Gavin would design me a logo I’d go live in an instant. So, I know you’re busy and all, Gavin, but maybe next time you get bored on a Sunday afternoon you could think about what sort of blistering visual could accompany my earth-shattering, unrealized, sure-to-be-read-by-millions site? I trust you implicitly.

Smiling Mortician

Hey, Jillian, if I might suggest: it’s OK to feel bad for Ace, but could we spare a moment of silence for the lady love?


If she isn’t purely hypothetical, I do indeed, Mort.


Looking good. Needs an Apache helicopter looming over something.

Oh, replace the swords with chainsaws. Bloody chainsaws.

And then add a naked demon chick with wings carrying a banner with the “Every normal man…” masthead on it. And she should be wailing on a guitar.

I’m thinking a pair of fighting scorpions somewhere, too.



Hey, while we are improving wingnut banner logos, how ’bout “Riehl World”? I was trying to think of something clever to do with that mess, but I think Gavin is the only one who could fix it. This is WAY better than fixing the Internets!


This is fun. But I’m afraid Sohei needs some tenderness.

Just sayin….



Make sure you snare the copyright on your upgraded Ace design before the design gets stolen. You never know when a new Plagiaristic Ben will pop up at those reactionary sites.

Animation might be nice if it’s subtle- like pulsing red eyes or slowly climbing smoke or lightly waving flag.

So when are you going to come up with a bad-ass logo for Sadly, No!?


Ooooooh, I was leaning toward the skeletal bird mentioned in the previous thread, but a crown o’thorns would be awesome! And definitely, animated flames.


Wow, that was an awesome banner. Way cool. Ace, you should upgrade.

Posted by Dogstar | AceofSpadesHQ| November 14, 2006 09:45 PM


can I vote again for the gold grill, and add my voice to the chorus for a crown of thorns?


Bubba said,

So when are you going to come up with a bad-ass logo for Sadly, No!?

What a great idea, Bubba! It could be like a raging metal Pastor Swank head with flames shooting out of the eyes, and the head’s mounted on a pike surrounded by Michelle Malkin demons, and stuff! Whoa, dude! Please please please!

No, wait! I’ve got it, make one that’s based on that stuff in that literature the Basement Nazis keep sending, with the Sword and the Crown and the Spatula and the 3-Hole-Punch or whatever.


Dudes! This is ACE, not a wicked rad Powell Peralta skateboard.


herr doktor bimler

I shudder to think what you’re going to do for Confederate Yankee.


I like the snake idea, but I think it should be an animated gif where the snake slithers out of one eye socket and goes back in through the other one (or possibly the nose socket, whichever looks cooler).


Out of one eyehole and into the nose, sez I. That way, you can still have at least one glowing eye slowly pulsing at all times.

Unless there was an eyepatch. Or maybe the snake squirms out from behind the eyepatch… That could be cool…


Hey: One sword gold, the other silver, representing the triumph of capitalism.


I’m thinking maybe a silhouette of an eagle, then a tasteful border of John Bolton heads?

Severed, one hopes.

And I’d exchange that skull of yours for the Totenkopf insignia. I understand you can get a high-resolution sample from Wal-Mart’s legal department.


I definitely support the addition of a “crown o’ thorns.”


crown o’ thorns
crossed axe-body guitars.
animated flames

blink tag?


Propeller Beanie.


Propeller Beanie.

Game. Over.


CRap! I was trying to get in under the wire with a Slash top hat.


It’s never to late for that, Pinko. G N’ R is timeless.

My serpentine!


Propeller beanie! Genius!

TC, we are not worthy!


Isn’t the sword on the left a scimitar? The weapon of tree-hugging, morally relativistic (true neutral) druids and their terrorist beheading allies has no place in the logo of a wingnut blog. It should be replaced with a more traditional conservative weapon; like a noose or firehose.


Or sequentially numbered prepaid envelopes.


Carve a swastika into the forehead a la Charles Manson.


[…] comes from Aliculblog’s post on that Sadly Nosian favourite, psychopath, committed mysogynist and in-denial-Amanda-obsessive, Ace O Spades: Still, I hope […]


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