Get out your handkerchiefs!

Marc Racicot is trying to cut to the front of the line to the RNC fainting couch again, the latest case of the vapors coming over John Kerry’s description of critics as “the most crooked … lying group I’ve ever seen.” “[U]nbecoming of a candidate for the presidency,” Racicot fumed, and he wants Kerry “to apologize to the American people.

Will Monsieur Racicot’s manservant discreetly interrupt his gentleman’s crying jag to deliver a heartfelt handwritten apology from that beastly rou? Mr. Kerry? Sadly, Non!

Why Racicot would demand an apology for “the American people” is a mystery, because recent polls show most people think that President Bush is a liar or deliberately misleading people. Demanding one for Great Leader is just plain silly, as the first official lie was when he swore to”protect and defend the Constitution” that he’s now trying to homo-proof.

Mr. Racicot’s own pants spontaneously burst into flame recently when he lied that AWOL

“signed up for dangerous duty. He volunteered to go to Vietnam. He wasn?t selected to go, but nonetheless served his country very well.”

That’s one neat stack of fibs, a club sandwich of mendacity, as documents clearly show the exact opposite. (It bears mentioning that AWOL also apparently lied when he promised on Press the Meat with Tim Russert to release his entire military records.)

So while this RNC slapstick might be the kind of clean, comedic fun conservatives want saturating the airwaves — as entertainment, about on the level of those old Disney films about dizzy pets messing up the house while the owners are out — Racicot should save his outrage for a day the administration wasn’t acting like a pack of shifty double-talking douchebags.

Asked at a recent congressional hearing why costs for Iraq were not included in the administration’s budget, Pentagon comptroller Dov Zakheim replied: “Because we simply cannot predict them.”

Yet many contend the administration at least knows that roughly 100,000 soldiers will remain in Iraq for another year and could have budgeted an estimate or a placeholder request for that. “We know it will not be free,” said Steve Kosiak of the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessments. …

The Pentagon’s refusal to estimate costs is the same stance it took before the war. For months leading up to the invasion, officials said they couldn’t estimate because they didn’t know how long it would take to fight the war. Within days after it started, however, the Pentagon sent Congress a request for $63 billion. “So you know they had it in their back pockets,” all along, said Cindy Williams, a former congressional budget officer…

Meanwhile, the grilling of CIA head George Tenet continued as Ted Kennedy

sought to learn why the administration distorted and manipulated the intelligence, when “the only imminent threat was the November congressional election.” It was, Kennedy said, “pure, unadulterated fear-mongering,” in order to justify Bush’s determined decision to go to war.

This immediately sent White House spokesbot Scott McLellan running to join Mr. Racicot in the lineup for the fainting couch. I really don’t think any apologies are forthcoming. Sorry, Mr. Racicot. DOH!


Comments: 7


You’re just MEAN! WAH! Mommy, Peanut made fun of me! Come make him apologize. WAH!



So, Kerry said that some people were “the most crooked, lying group he’s ever seen.” But what group was he talking about?

I got an email from NewsMax, telling me the crooked liars were “Bush Supporters.” On “The O’Reilly Factor” today, Dick Morris said Kerry was talking about Republicans in general (and that Bush should counter with some really negative ads, like Morris has been saying for months). And now Marc Racicot seems to think Kerry was talking about the American people (otherwise, why should Kerry have to apologize to them?)

Sure, Kerry’s spokesman says Kerry was talking about Kerry critics who have used dirty tricks, like the guy who doctored the photo of Kerry and Jane Fonda, and other crooked liars like that, but Fox News says otherwise.

So, in order to clear things up, I think that everybody who thinks that Kerry was talking about him or her should come forward, say why he thinks Kerry was accusing him of being a crooked liar, and demand that Kerry take it back. It’s the only fair way.


RNC fainting couch? Sadly, Yes! You are a genius.



Where you been all my life, Peanut? Brilliant!


Marc’s wife tells me he’s been real weepy and emotional ever since Sex and the City went off the air.


Several times this afternoon I wanted to update this entry, but with flash flood of tears and the stupid quotes dam bursting from excess pressure …

Suffice to say, the floor of RNC headquarters is littered with emotional wreckage and bodies half-floating in several inches of tears. I haven’t seen this kind of suffering since yesterday and the day before yesterday. All the wounded are signalling for immediate attention. Some are too weak to cry out. I’m at my wits end for how to console them but I don’t want to cry too because that’ll get them all going again. I’ve sent Prissy to go tell Mammy to tell Aunt PittyPat to send me a bigger hat and a blowdryer for Mr. DeLay, who was the most deeply hurt.

I’ve turned off the TV so the poor things won’t have to endure thoughts of the Madrid train bombing, the percolating civil strife in Iraq and the violence in Haiti.

I’ll post the quotes roll after dinner. 🙂


I got an email from NewsMax, telling me the crooked liars were “Bush Supporters.”

See, it really is all about how you self-identify.

Or, as Uncle Pete might say, “If the foo shits…”


(comments are closed)