Oh My God, They Killed Denny

Above: Another day, another key Republican down the chute

Hastert won’t seek leadership post
Susan Milligan, Boston Globe
Thursday, November 9, 2006

(11-09) 04:00 PST Washington — House Speaker Dennis Hastert, wounded by the GOP’s loss of the House on Tuesday night, said Wednesday he will not seek to continue as his party’s leader in the next Congress.

“As a former wrestling coach, I know what it is like when your team takes second place in the state tournament. It hurts. And so it is with politics,” the Illinois Republican said in a statement.

That’s a new interpretation. Instead of bursting in a wet bang of hubris, chicken feathers, and aerosolized failure, the Republicans’ ‘permanent majority’ actually won the silver medal.

Say, remember when you used to hear this expression all the time?

[I]f the Democrats want to control who gets appointed as a judge, maybe they should try winning some elections instead being a bunch of whiny jackaninnies threatening to filibuster every damn nomination that comes down the pike.


I’m hoping to hear that they’ve also got taps on Howard Dean’s and Hillary Clinton’s phones. Lord only knows what sort of traitorous skullduggery they’ve been up to. And I like to say — elections have consequences. If the donks don’t like having their phones tapped, try winning elections — or switching parties 😉


Might I once again refer the kooks to SCOREBOARD. And while we’re on the subject, might I also remind the kooks the alternative to SCOREBOARD is totalitarianism.
Let us review SCOREBOARD:

Majority of State Legislators: Republican
Majority of State Governors: Republican
Majority of House Members: Republican
Majority of Senators: Republican
President (for two terms): Republican

Looks like a clean sweep, huh? SCOREBOARD sucks if you’re a demo, doesn’t it?
Like I said, try winning an election.
The safest place for Osama bin Laden isn’t in Afghanistan or Pakistan; it’s in the New York Times building.


It is also expected that the GOP will increase its dominance in the 2006 contests. Do you have a problem with that? If so, try winning some elections.

Ha ha. And we were second-place champions the whole time!

“The Republican leader in the 110th Congress will have the responsibility to emphasize conservative values and reform principles. I will not seek this role,” but will stay on as a rank-and-file member representing Illinois’ 14th District, the speaker said.

As Hastert steps down, Boehner is popping up:

Hastert’s announcement — not unexpected after the bruising his party took this week — immediately set off a leadership battle among House Republicans. The current House majority leader, Rep. John Boehner of Ohio, is expected to seek the minority leader’s post in the next Congress, but Rep. Mike Pence of Indiana quickly announced Wednesday that he would challenge Boehner for the job.

…Plus with Pence in the running, the headline, ‘House Republicans Pull Boehner,’ is still blissfully possible. It would help make up for the bittersweet jubilance of ‘GOP Smokes Weed‘ — sadly lost in the shuffle, what with all the doings since Tuesday.


Comments: 26


“Shut up until you guys start winning elections” is my new boilerplate response to all of trolldom.


Speaking of trolls, wheeeere’s Gary?


Gary is off memorizing all the fox news talking points
Then when he is allowed his daily 20 minutes on the computer he shares them with us.


Wait, you have to win an election in order to not get your privacy violated? I think most of America is screwed if that’s the case.


I think that a former wrestling coach would be familiar with the act that they call the “Shocker”. Apparently that is what just happened to the Republican party..


Witness the magisterial nation of the United States, where political leaders provide heapings of braggadocio to the land’s barbarous tribes. We suck…

…but they suck even more! USA! USA! USA!


Congratulations to the Detroit Tigers. Competing in a very tough field of two, they won they won the silver medal at the World Series.


That’s really funny. Losing a contest with only two people in it could I suppose be called “coming in second.”

The Republicans are not becoming less popular! They are just attracting a more selective audience. Also, Boston is not a big college town.


Suck it Cobag:

Majority of State Legislators: Democratic
Majority of State Governors: Democratic
Majority of House Members: Democratic
Majority of Senators: Democratic
President (for two terms): Lamer than Mallard Fillmore.


You know, from one point of view, the Socialists made more gains in congress than the Republicans did, putting them third…

Smiling Mortician

Y’know, maybe it’s just the general joy of the week, maybe it’s that I have a day off work to sit around, drink coffee and read the internets, maybe it’s just my inherent belief in the goodness of humanity rising to the surface. Whatever the reason, I feel the need to point out that annie came here and made a funny that was relevant to Gavin’s header and that was kinda nice.


Mortician, you are waaaaaaay too kind. Seriously.


As an Illinoisan, I can say that my disappointment at Jabba the Hastert’s reelection is somewhat mitigated by his ousting from party leadership in the House.

Smiling Mortician

Yeah, I know, celticgirl. I thought I’d try out that whole reaching-out thing and see how it felt. It was OK but I can quit any time. I don’t think I’m hooked or anything.


Plus with Pence in the running, the headline, ‘House Republicans Pull Boehner,’ is still blissfully possible.

“Boehner Menaced By Vigorous Pence”?

Okay, it doesn’t really work. But whenever I see the name “Shadegg” I have a tendency to see “Shag.” Does that count? Maybe not.

Hey, how about if, as part of the housecleaning, Boehner lets Pence take the leadership and is demoted to Minority Whip? Then we could get your headline, and the follow-up: “Boehner Whips Unwilling Republicans”.

Look, I’ll just go back to drinking heavily.


If Pence gets the nod, we could have “Boehner stiffed for Pence.” If Boehner gets the #1 spot, “Cocksure Boehner surges over all comers.” Or in the spirit of Republican brotherliness for his new underling, “Boehner tickled pink for #2 Pence.”


tigrismus. you have topped yourself. how dare you keep yourself from us.


Hey, don’t forget Blunt (R-K Street). I think a nice headline would be: ‘Blunt, Pence, struggle against Boehner for GOP House Leadership.’ You could probably do more with the Blunt Boeher combo, but I’m too lazy.


you have topped yourself

Sounds kinky, but come on, no one is THAT flexible.


None dare challenge an incumbent Weiner.


In a tribute to Ted Haggard, I’d like to see: “Pence smokes Blunt, then Boehner.”


Using Richard Baker (R-LA):

Baker stokes Blunt, blows off Boehner.

Baker’s devotion to Blunt a blow to Boehner.


It’s like coming in second place in a fist fight!


“Boehner stiffens on gay marriage”



you have topped yourself

Sounds kinky, but come on, no one is THAT flexible.

Oh, I dunno. I’ve seen certain… pictures on teh interwebz… extremely interesting pictures….


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