Happy Xmas

War is over:

An ABC News undercover investigation showed Army recruiters telling students that the war in Iraq was over, in an effort to get them to enlist.

ABC News and New York affiliate WABC equipped students with hidden video cameras before they visited 10 Army recruitment offices in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut.

“Nobody is going over to Iraq anymore?” one student asks a recruiter.

“No, we’re bringing people back,” he replies.

“We’re not at war. War ended a long time ago,” another recruiter says.

And, thus, Private Zero was inducted into military service. Hijinks ensued.

“It’s kind of weird how Camp Swampy is actually in a desert, huh?”


Comments: 48

Prometheus Stuttered

Why does ABC hate our troops??!!!


The most scandalous part about this is they’ve obviously lowered recruit standards once again. No one who’s stupid enough to fall for that should meet the minimum IQ requirements to get in the army. Maybe these recruiters have been listening to John Kerry.


Damn, I’m impressed. If the recruiters could get away with blatent, bald-face lies like that, those dudes could sell air conditioners in McMurdo Station. They’re wasting their substantial talents recruiting high school dropouts as more 11-Bulletstops. They should be selling high-end CRM systems for the seven-figure commish….



We’ve always not been at war with Eurasia.


Well duh. Recruiting is a special duty. As long as these guys keep shoveling warm bodies into the Army in front of themselves, they don’t have to go to Iraq. If they blow their quotas, they get sent back to their regular MOS. It’s kinda like telemarketing, only instead of being fired, you get fired at…


All we need are 20,000 more kids like that and Iraq can be won.

signed John McCain


This actually makes me sick to my stomach.


I’m not surprised, just disgusted.


Everyone’s going to Eye-rak cause it’s the “in” thing to do. All the “Kool Kidz” are already there. You do want to be a Kool Kid, right? Hell, you get a free slurpee.


They’re sending Matt Lauer to Iraq? That is pretty cool, Colonel Klink.


Are these guys serious? How oblivious to the media do these recruiters think kids are?

“Yeah, that’s it. The war is over, dudes. You’re free to enlist now and get a free boonie hat.”

Go NAVY! Accelerate your life (expectancy date).


Dear ifthethunderdontgetya,

Come on now, you know the rules of the game!

Millionaires, sons and daughters of war profiteers, Neocon hacks, and members of the GOP generally can not be “Kool Kidz” where Eye-rak is concerned. The only kidz cool enough to go now, are those kidz who believe stuff like “the war is over.” People who actually say the war is going great or damn near over, (like a certain Man Koulter) are not allowed to go because they’d spoil it for the rest of us.


If these recruiters are actually getting kids to sign up using this schtick, Kerry should never had to applogize for his botched joke. Anyone who is so cluelessly stupid as to believe that really is a walking meatsack.


But we need new soldiers to fight the ever-expanding Middle East war that fake, non-peace loving Christians crave so badly. If we have to lie to get troops over to Bush’s “planned” quagmire, so be it. That’s what Jesus would have wanted.


Never underestimate the utter cluelessness of the average teen. I know an awful lot of kids whose parents are only dimly aware that there might be some kind of conflict going on. They don’t know where or for how long or who is actually involved, but it’s the kind of low-level buzz thing. They’re people for whom the front page of the newspaper merely gets in the way of the sports section.

Their kids are even worse off. I’m they would believe the recruiters without any hesitation. Hell, half these kinds would believe it if the recruiter said, “Son, we’ll send you to our new outer-space station if you sign up today!”


I’m so glad that the trolls can’t even deal with this one.


W00t! Doors references!

Breakfast where the news is read
Television children fed
Unborn living, living, dead
Bullet strikes the helmets head
And its all over
For the unknown soldier
Its all over
For the unknown soldier

Make a grave for the unknown soldier
Nestled in your hollow shoulder
The unknown soldier
Breakfast where the news is read
Television children fed
Bullet strikes the helmets head
And, its all over
The war is over
Its all over
The war is over


I’m so glad that the trolls can’t even deal with this one.

The fact of the matter is we’ve actually already won in Iraq, but the Defeatocrats and the Liberal Media hate America because of it, so they won’t tell the truth.


Jim Morrison:
I was thinking the title was a reference to John Lennon’s Happy Xmas, where War is Over (if you want it).


Only one more day until the Dustbin of Historyâ„¢.

Will there be a party?

Hate Encrusted Eyes

Now guys let’s be fair. It takes what, 12 months to get through boot camp? So these fine young man are indeed not going to Iraq. Iran on the other hand ….


Ned’s Atomic Dustbin of History?”

Smiling Mortician

Hey now, JK47, must you tempt malign fate so brazenly? You’ll have no one but yourself to blame when Jeebus’ girlfriend shows up with her blood-soaked pom-poms.


And thusly is “intelligent design” refuted by the theory of devolution.

herr doktor bimler

I, for one, will miss Gary’s “Last nail in the coffin of the Democrats” trope, which he brandishes between invocations of the infamous Dustbin. By now that coffin has so many nails in it, it’s affecting the local magnetic field, and becoming a hazard to navigation.


True, we won’t be hearing much about the dustbin, but surely we will hear lots about how the Democrat Party stole the election with the help of Hugo Chavez. You gotta admit, that’s gonna be a hoot.


Don’t sweat it, doc. Gary’s not going anywhere. First, assuming that something bad doesn’t happen tomorrow, Gary will be yelling “Fraud”, then telling us how we’re surrendering to the terrorists, then making shit up about speaker Pelosi, then it’ll start getting on toward the ’08 election and he’ll be telling us how the Dems will lose and be consigned to the dustbin of coffin nails or something. And don’t forget there’s liable to be more wars and bloodshed for him to support. Oh, no. He’s not going anywhere…



Oh, and imagine how he’ll be saying that the Democratic congressional investigations and special prosecutors will end up indicting Chairman Dean…


Gary "the dustbin" Ruppert

The fact is, the bigger Democrat party victory in 2006, the bigger disaster for the Democrats. America will see their streets taken over by savage hordes of Islamofascist homosexuals, who will perform abortions on unsuspecting (white) women. Tomorrow’s election is just the broom that will sweep you into the dustpan of history.


It’s the twenty-first century already!

Can’t History get a Dustbuster or something at this point?


Actually, I have a nice little Guatemalan lady who comes in twice a week. And no, I never asked to see her papers. She keeps the place neat as a pin.


What next? The Swifferjet of History? No style, bourgeois pigs.

The Coffin of the Democrat party

And no more nails, please. I’m trying to give them up.

Herr Doktor Ruppert

Hey, those kids have been into my Liquor Cabinet of Posterity again!


In the twenty first centry, Leon, it’s become rather hierarchical. Like so many other trivial things. First, you put various Democratic operatives and candidates in the little plastic Wastebaskets of History. Then, on the weekend, you gather them up and collect them in the Hefty CinchSack of History. This you carry down to the big beige Dumpster of History. Then, the big loud Waste Management Garbage Truck of History shows up and hauls it all away. I’m sure there is more historic stuff that happens to it all, but I don’t know what it is, so I’ll leave it to the experts to explain the rest…



“Never underestimate the utter cluelessness of the average teen.”

Absolutely right, not to mention young people who have psychiatric disorders.

This is beyond foul.


I will be robocalling you all, very soon.


I like to think Gary’s reaction on Wednesday will be the same as anyone who gazes into the Bucket Of Truth.


Well damn, islmfaoscist. Here I was thinking…this is too long.

And then it was all worth it. Yes, that is Gary.


islmfaoscist: Well, Spaghetti Jesus will do just the same. The Golem will sweep the Democrats into the dustbin of history.


I once toured the Landfill of History. It was a smelly but interesting experience, kind of like visiting Gary’s house would be.

This makes me so damned mad. As the mother of a 14 year old son it enrages me. Of course, my kid is more the kind of kid who flips off the recruiters when he passes them in the hall, and he’s on the “Do Not Talk to my Kid” list and all, but some of his friends who are not well off financially might easily be swayed by the inducements offered.


And now, an attempt to close a rogue tag…

You’re welcome. (If it worked.)


I’m afraid to say that, when I was seventeen, I’d have totally fallen for that kind of shit.



History said,

November 7, 2006 at 3:24

Actually, I have a nice little Guatemalan lady who comes in twice a week. And no, I never asked to see her papers.

Hey, you sound just like the Republican candidate for Nevada governor! Gee, I guess Jim Gibbons really IS history…


You haven’t assaulted any women lately, have you?

Counterfactual Speculation

Hey History, I’m your neighbour Counterfactual Speculation, from over the fence. You know, everyone on the street has been thinking that you need to work on your green credentials. We can’t help noticing the size of your pile of garbage bags, out on the kerb on rubbish-collection mornings. Would it really hurt to take all your champagne bottles down to the recycling depot, instead of sending them off to be landfill? Or you could start a compost heap. Or try Burying Your Mistakes — I know that Medical Science, just down the block, has plenty of advice about that.





That is all.


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