GROPENATOR TO ASSAULT UNSUSPECTING PRINTED WORD
Could we, as a nation, come together and demand that Republicans at least pretend to be interested in governing for a set minimum after taking office before they set aside massive blocks of time for hobbies like fake ranching or mentoring the buff?
The state of Caulifornia, deemed so fiscally hopeless it cried out for a Recall, has apparently undergone a miraculous and thorough recovery. That can be the only explanation the Gropenfuhrer suddenly has enough spare time to edit two muscle mags.
California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has accepted a new role for his busy schedule, that of executive editor of “Muscle & Fitness” and “Flex” magazines … The former Mr. Universe, who took office in November with California engulfed in fiscal crisis, will officially announce his new job on Saturday when he attends the annual Arnold Fitness Weekend in Columbus, Ohio, said spokesman Rob Stutzman. “He has clearly demonstrated that he is fully engaged with the problems facing the state but he is going to continue certain relationships,” Stutzman told reporters in a conference call.
Sorry, Fleischer-like spokesbot, but until the Gropenfuhrer delivers on his election promise to investigate multiple claims he used women for power-squeezing apparatus, he simply does not have the time to throw on his old leopard-print banana sock and hit the bodybuilding circuit again. He did, after all, cite the heavy demands of governing as the main reason he was cancelling delaying an investigation: “right now, I’m focusing on this [solving fiscal problems] and there is no investigation.”
(As we all know, it’s not the raw poundage of humanity one assaults that’ll burn your ass but the reps.) And say, wouldn’t it be nice if the conservative Sex Police diverted resources from their unremitting dragnet on consenting adults in loving, same-sex relationships to an elected leader credibly accused of serial, often violent, assault and harassment of women? (By credibly, I refer to women not coached by and on Boss Scaife’s gargantuan payroll for right wing dirty tricksters.)
As the state faces a multibillion budget shortfall, Stutzman said the governor would only spend a nominal amount of time as executive editor of the publications, where he will attempt to promote healthy lifestyles
I guess it all depends on how many fatties they’re passing around that day. Isn’t it odd that President Butch’s War on Steroids, his latest diversion from his chair-kicking 98-pound weakling of an economy and bogus pre-emptive war has intensified the Barry Bonds witchhunt but left Arnold the Bawd relatively unscathed? I’m sure Rethug apologists will cry out that it’s a stretch to associate steroid use with the pristine sport of bodybuilding, but going by some brutal closeups, if the stories are true that one side effect is the testicles receding into the body, Arnie’s former ‘nads are resting comfortably in his eye sockets.
[T]he magazines have agreed to donate $250,000 (135,500 pounds) annually to the governor’s Council on Physical Fitness.
Is it being sent in coin so the Gropenfuhrer’s counting squad can work their lats?
If Gray Davis had done his job, Democrat leaning California wouldn’t have had to kick him out. Same for Clinton. If he had taken care of Bin LAden 3000 people woulfn’t have burned to death in New York. Bush is taking care of business the Democrats didn’t do.
Um, yeah, except for the fact that Reagan helped the Taliban and Bin Laden rise to power in the first place. Our former president called Osama the George Washington of his people.
But hey, let’s not get distracted by these silly “facts” and focus on the real source of our problems… Clinton.
He did, after all, cite the heavy demands of governing as the main reason he was cancelling delaying an investigation: “right now, I’m focusing on this [solving fiscal problems] and there is no investigation.”
Editing body-building magazines is less time-consuming for Ahnold than participating in an investigation into the dozens of women who say he groped them. And really, who ever has time to be investigated? — just as I have an infinite amount of time to read blogs every day, but never any time for exercise.
If [Clinton] had taken care of Bin LAden [sic] 3000 people woulfn’t [sic] have burned to death in New York. Bush is taking care of business the Democrats didn’t do.
I suppose Bush was “taking care of business” when he spent the entire month of August 2001 vacationing on his “ranch”? But there was a lot of brush to be cleared, after all, and that’s not the sort of responsibility one can leave to the hired help. Bush still won’t disclose what was in the August 6, 2001 “President’s Daily Brief” he received, which apparently warned that al Qaeda intended to attack the United States soon. National security and all, even though Bush had no problem showing the PDB to Bob Woodward when Woodard was working on his fawning “Bush at War” book. And Bush still is not “taking care of bin Laden,” who remains at large. (No, Ricky, Saddam Hussein is not the same guy.)
Same for Clinton. If he had taken care of Bin LAden 3000 people woulfn’t have burned to death in New York. Bush is taking care of business the Democrats didn’t do.
Sign on George Bush’s desk: “The buck stops with Clinton.”
If Gray Davis had done his job, Democrat leaning California wouldn’t have had to kick him out.
Arnold’s response to the deficit so far has consisted of a) increasing it by 50% by rescinding the order to reinstate the vehicle license fee to its pre-’99 level, and b) borrowing 15 billion dollars via bond to pay off the deficit, the equivalent of acquiring a new credit card when you’ve maxed out the others. The man’s a genius.
Incidentally, Davis initiated a lawsuit against the federal government for refusing to cap the shenanigans of the power brokerages gaming California, from which its budget deficits in large part arose. Want to predict whether Arnold will pursue this or let it drop?
Same for Clinton. If he had taken care of Bin LAden 3000 people woulfn’t have burned to death in New York.
Count on a doctrinaire sock puppet to bring Clinton into a discussion of Arnold, or anything.
So what did Bush do in his brief non-vacationing moments in office that first year?
Well, he appointed an Attorney General with more of an interest in crusading against medical marijuana use than homeland security; who ignored Louis Freeh’s concerns about a terrorist threat.
He appointed a Secretary of Defense with a great interest in funding a revival of the discredited SDI (Star Wars) program, and a desire to slash counter-terrorism funding (gotta keep those spending priorities straight, right?)
He appointed a national security advisor who, advised by outgoing Sandy Berger that she would be spending most of her time on bin Laden and Al Qaeda, failed to do anything remotely approaching that.
He initiated a foreign policy geared toward placating Saudi oil families (and Bush business partners).
He blew off the recomendations of the Gore-chaired commission on airline security, which alone would arguably have made the methods employed by the hijackers impossible.
Abandoned predator drone tracking of bin Ladin.
Was so adamant about discarding the practices of the previous administration, and so clueless about the bin Laden threat, that he failed to appreciate the importance of the Aug 9 CIA brief titled “bin Laden determined to strike in US”, or follow up on it with a full review of all intelligence and leads on such an activity– as would have been automatic under the Clinton administration. But he was busy clearing brush that month– all month– and there’s only so much one man can do, I suppose.
And lastly, the Bush White House stepped up negotiations with the Taliban in 2001, with a view toward normalizing relations with them in exchange for Taliban support of construction of an oil pipeline across Afghanistan and giving up bin Laden, famously promising them “a carpet of gold or a carpet of bombs.” Such is the Bush administration brand of diplomacy. So perhaps bin Laden saw the writing on the wall and, realizing that the dope in the white house was asleep at the switch, determined to strike first.
let me know if I missed anything, chump.
You have to admire that Ricky Vandal, managing to troll on so many quality blogs in the last few days. He’s obviously a boy with initiative, only offset by a complete lack of intelligence.
As for the Gropenfuhrer, is it really 2006 before he can be voted out? I weep for my beloved California.
I was with a pal yesterday in Glendale and we were drawn in to a conversation with one of those signature gatherers for Propositions. He said that, pending all of them getting the required amount of sigs (600,000), that there would be 21 (!!!!!) propositions on the November ballot in California. Most of them were routine “Give more money to cops and schools” bond issue things, but a few were interesting. One would be to raise the bar on what constitutes a third strike; another would be one that would allow taxation of the Indian tribes that are raking it in at their casinos. My friend laughed and said “Fuck that! Let Ah-nuld duke it out with them”. So true.
Great job Peanut, especially the picture of Ah-nuld and the fattie.
Jim: Great job Peanut, especially the picture of Ah-nuld and the fattie.
Thanks, Jim! I’m not sure where the pic first appeared online so I can’t properly attribute it, but Needlenose (one of my favorite blogs) is where I most recently saw it.
Arnold’s problem is that he has been corrupted by the gay agenda. We first learned of it when we found out he had no problem with gay marriage as long as it was made legal first, but this is proof. I mean, editing a couple of muscle magazines! How gay can you get, editing a magazine full of mostly-naked images of sleek, muscular, well oiled bodies, just glistening, bulging, glistening… DOWN, LITTLE SOLDIER! DOWN! Uhm, excuse me folks, gotta discipline the little soldier, I’ll be right back…