It Begins

That was a quick response, Atrios.

Unfortunately for you, I’ve been stashing this little number away for a long time:

Yes, Atrios, that is the Right Brothers’ latest single. It’s a pro-life power ballad called “Mama, I Wanna Live,” and it’s sung from the perspective of a fetus.

Say “uncle,” brother. It’s your only hope.

UPDATE: VICTORY IS OURS!!!! Sadly, No! are the official winners of the (very brief) YouTube War II!!!

…and with that, I’m going to go out now. If the YouTube Wars show me anything, it’s how I desperately, desperately need to get a life…


Comments: 85


Oh-emm-effing-gee, I have to go puncture my eardrums and pluck out my eyes.

Bradrocket, Atrios, I beg of you, consider the civilian casualties in this senseless clash of civilizations!


Wow — sorta conservative Robert George (not the Princeton guy) of Ragged Thots has jumped into this battle! Hair metal proliferation!


I presume you have an exit strategy in mind before you commit yourself to this pointless war?


Ah, the Right Brothers – isn’t “Unhinged Melody” their signature tune?


655,000 fetuses killed and you still won’t stop?!


Every time you kill a fetus, a small kitten gains angel wings and flies up to Heaven, where Jesus sings him lullabies and gives him chocolates and gumdrops…. ah hell, it’s as plausible as any of their bullshit, right?


Oh my sweet Lordy-Gordy. That was….that was…WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Y’know, usually it pisses me off when a YouTube clip freezes in the first minute. But this time I was relieved.


It’s the sequel to the Sparks’ “Tryouts for the Human Race,” which is a song about sperm (sung from the point-of-view of the sperm).



Please. If I were a fetus and had to listen to this dreck, I’d beg to be aborted.

Mama? What about the Dada? What about universal health care and generous help with day care so that Mama could have the baby and go to college and not have to worry about the jerk Dada if she wants? Grow up, people.


When you go NUKULAR on the second volley you don’t need an exit strategy. I hope Bush isn’t watching.


finally, a response to Hendrix’ belly-button window, in which a fetus makes the opposite argument


[…] Bradrocket had a doomsday device. We are all dead. […]


Wow. I’m going to go look up “Abortions” in the yellow pages.

Adoption agencies are filled with orphans, and the process to adopt is infamously long, expensive, and invasive.

Not to mention the health and financial risks of simply carrying the fetus to term.


Atrios seems to have surrendered, but I say you give a extra volley or two, just to make sure.


I was hoping it would be an old-school rap along the lines of “I’m a fetus and I’m here to say…”


Besides, everybody knows the only REAL singing fetus is Li’l Markie.

I’m warning you now….that link makes the Right Brothers look like Prince. Seriously. Think twice before you click.


Have they heard Gary R. Paxton’s equally insane “The Big A=The Big M”? Or Lil’ Markie’s “Diary Of An Unborn Child”?

The former is here (on my friends’ blog, The Record Robot):

If you haven’t heard the latter, go directly here. Your minds will be duly blown:


Jillian! Holy synchronicity!


The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?


I really feel like doing the whole lighter thing right now. Except now we’re in the 21st century, so I have to use my cell phone’s light to do it.

And that was what I learned at a Green Day concert.


Now that’s what I call shock and awe.


Ouch! After seeing that load of cr@p I was tempted get me aborted in a rather late term fashion (at +42.5 years, not sure what trimester that would be)… the pain of watching it was just too too much.


Vic, it means we’re destined soulmates.

There’s a Heavenly Space Fetus out there now, just waiting for us to hook up so it can take on corporeal form.


Well, one trimester = 3 months, so four in a year, multiply 42.5 by four, get 170th trimester.
Or 56 2/3 babies.



Our union will be fulfilled to the dulcet tones of Lil’ Markie’s prepubescent warbling (if it doesn’t render me completely impotent, that is).


Well, that’s nothing compared to Seals & Crofts’ Unborn Child, written in response to the Roe v Wade decision.


WTF was that?? Everyone concerned with the making of that song and that video should be in prison. PRISON. Some people should not be allowed anywhere near technology of any kind.

I’ve got to go take extra meds now. Thanks a lot. Have a nice time while you’re out, Bradrocket. Whatever you do, don’t worry about me on my bed of pain, because I would hate to harsh your buzz or anything, you BEAST!!1!!

Terry C, Hates Anti-Choicers

How the fuck can you “look at something from a fetus’ perspective”???

This is so stupid!


well, at least you went nukular before the Editors pulled out Kittens of Mass Destruction.

For the sake of mankind, now, gentlement, please rein in your aggression before IT IS TOO LATE!! Mutually Assured Destruction is no consolation to those of us who end up as collateral damage.


I just became aware that while the Great Powers were conducting the most recent (thankfully short) war to end all wars that a side skirmish broke out in the normally peaceable land of Yglesias.


Ok, I’ve said it before, I don’t get the self-inflicted pain of bad videos, but if this is what passes for combat today, I strongly support it. It hurts, oh gawd it hurts so bad, but nobody gets killed and their shit doesn’t get wrecked…



Bring on the satanic cats!


[…] I will not concede. Victory is mine, saith the Lord. […]


This is like Rosemary’s Baby, only with Randy Van Warmer standing in for Satan….


I think I am going to throw up. This is the most vile, evil, sick, perverted abomination I have ever seen. And they call themselves “pro-life?”


You got to war with the anti-abortion music videos you have, not the anti-abortion music videos you wish you had.


Kitten Wars are like the Grammies; even if you win, you’re still a loser with a worseless trophy.

Although any excuse to use that one where the kittens are doing a high-altitude bombing run is a good excuse. B for Bernie is going down!


Fuck this and fuck that
Fuck it all and fuck a fucking brat
She don’t wanna baby that looks like that
I don’t wanna baby that looks like that
Body, I’m not an animal
Body, an abortion


Atrios = completely owned


If the YouTube Wars show me anything, it’s how I desperately, desperately need to get a life…

In victory… failure? Hmmmmm….


Oh, and FWIW, did I watch this video? No. Resoundingly no. I’m just out of hospital and my blood pressure is doing 40 point lurches today. You do teh math.


Here’s my source

If the election for the U.S. House of Representatives were being held today, would you vote for (the Democratic candidate) or (the Republican candidate) in your congressional district?

Democrat – 51%
Republican – 45%

6 points, down from 14 points on October 22nd.

Democrats led by 5 points on the generic ballot in November 1994.

Yet, they can only muster a six point lead before this election.

Face it Dems. You’re toast.


Damn. “You Can’t Be Too Strong” it is not.

Graham Parker would be rolling over in his grave if he were still dead.


The juxtaposition of the suffering of the teenager girl in that video with the desire of what, at the point she is taking the pregnancy test, is not even a fetus yet, *as sung by an already-born, presumable adult MAN* is disgusting. It makes it blatant how not only do they not care about the lives and feelings of women who get pregnant, they revel in the suffering. The line that really gets me is where the fetus (oh god, am I really typing this?) is dismissive of its mother being concerned about a pregnancy interfering with her hopes and dreams, including going to college. Hell yeah, Mama, forgot college and the daddy who it looks like dumped you as soon as you told him, we’re gonna have an awesome time together in abject poverty! Thanks for making a decision that really values life in all its forms.


Has anyone seen my Dustbin of History? I was sure I left it around here somewhere…


See? Are links so hard, Gary?
It’s interesting how the numbers across the board tend to even out as we get closer to election day. Not sure what that represents…

The five points in ’94 was with registered voters, while the 6 points this year is with likely voters. Though, by your standards, Dems have a 10 point lead in registered voters this year. I’m not too worried.


NOOOOO! the post-war balance is shattered by a minor border dispute, and you go all-nuclear on us. nukes are supposed to be for deterrence. when will mankind learn!


Can I have a Morning-After eardrum puncture pill with that? No? Aw hell, just hand me them knittin’ needles.


Damn you, Brad.


Yes, you definitely do need to get a life.


I got through 2:25, don’t know if I set an endurance record or not. If they showed a picture of what was actually inside her body during her personal crisis, it would look something like this:

They’re sick.


Jillian & Vic, I actually listened to “Diary of an Unborn Child” and…I’m speechless. Probably because it’s hard to say anything when you feel like vomiting. I mean…the Right Brothers thing was awful enough, but that…it’s worse than “Dear Mr. Jesus” by PowerSource.


…and for those you who’ve never heard “Dear Mr. Jesus”, here it is:


Has anyone seen my Dustbin of History? I was sure I left it around here somewhere…

A buncha damn kids stole your dustbin of history and left it in my backyard. Next time don’t leave that thing out on the curb all night after the city picks up the trash.


I haven’t seen the Dustbin of History, but I did see a Republican filled Dustbin of Science and Technology the other day.


Ahh, there go those ItalixAmericans again. Why do they hate our freedom?


KeeeeeeeeRighst!!! LOL, I tried, I really did. I just can’t listen to the entire thing.

It couldn’t be more contrived. Even if they wheeled out Terri Schiavo and had Randall Terry singing a super-bridge.



Here is the anthem that made these douche-bags imfamous.

I didn’t think it was possible for musicians or artists to be this politically disconnected.

Shows ya what I know.

God I hate this.


The baby at the end was horrified at what it was being used for.


Saw this on the comments page for youtube:

I was going to get an abortion until I saw this video. It totally changed my mind! These guys sure have some amazing powers of persuasion! Now I want to walk in front of a speeding semi. Thanks Right Brothers!


Thank you joyess. I had seen that on a thread about a month ago and lost it. It’s a friggin nuclear weapon of projectile vomit.


Joyess, I don’t know whether to thank you or curse you for that link. That’s one of the funniest/saddest things I’ve ever seen. Laugh/cry. I’m in a hell of duality.

WTF world are these people living in? It’s certainly not the reality I’m aware of. When Zell gets a shout out in a pseudo pop-punk song I’m not sure I’m in reality anymore.


Gee I didn’t know fetuses were already full-term at 6 weeks. Hilarious and pukey at the same time.


P.S. The only thing that could top this would be a stem cell “I wanna live” rock song, from the point of view of the cell.


Imprisoned in my world of snow
I’m a cell in a cell oh don’t ya know


Wow, that just posted against my will. Please, please, find the preview button.

Imprisoned in my world of snow
I’m a cell in a cell oh don’t ya know
Please don’t leave this blastocyte
At the mercy of doctors cold and white
Take me to your cozy womb
Don’t leave me in this frozen tomb

I haven’t had enough alcohol for this activity.


I apologize for that, I’ve been ill with a fever.


And you still composed something that was more coherent and less nauseating (if only because it was written toungue-in-cheek) than those lunatics came up with. 🙂


I’m still not watchin’ it. I can’t afford another week in Club ICU, thanx. Besides, the only tests they have left that they haven’t done on me recently are all particularly unpleasant. So, no. No way. No. Uh-uh. Nope. Negatory. Nein. Non. Nuh-oooh.


Bill S, I guess a person needs a brain damaging fever before they can reach that level.

I have to confess, I didn’t actually watch the clip. I’m afraid my head will explode, and I want to live until Wednesday, at least. Marq, you’re probably wise to avoid it as well. I’m sorry you’ve been so ill. I hope you feel better soon.


Get better, Marq. Teh internets would not be the same without you.


Oh, that song is awful. Aaarrggghh!


ohhh… why did I watch that? Now I have to pour Drano in my ears…


“Mama my eyes are blue
Nudge nudge wink wink
You know what I mean
I’m racially pure…”


Anti-choicers only see a fetus as the cute baby down the line, and never the considerably-less-cute adult further down that line (most of whom they’d gleefully hate).



If you liked that video, you’ll LOVE this one.


butchie, why is he called “little” markie? His gut alone makes him a prime candidate for a heart attack. Can’t Jesus help these people abstain from the twinkies?

Just think what the world would have missed out on had his mother had an abortion. Gah…the human race thinks a little too highly of itself.


Reminds me of this great abortion song from Mudhoney’s 1995 My Brother the Cow:

I’m all for life…’til the bastard’s born
then after that he’s out on his own
and if he does crime tryin’ to survive
I’ll make damn sure he gets…ELECTRIFIED!!

Save a baby
Kill a Doctor



i was waiting for someone to bring up the sex pistols. johnny rotten is the only one who can pull off a song from a fetus.
my god, these guys suck, considering their last hit was ‘we didn’t start the fire’ meets blink 182, i wonder who they ripped off this melody from.


[…] UPDATE THE SECOND: I see our pal Atrios is asking for a special New Year’s beating. You may remember what happened the last time he challenged our powers. This time shall be no different. An attack is in the works, mark my words. […]


[…] So I stupidly assumed that because Atrios gave up so quickly in our last skirmish that he’d be a pushover this time. I was wrong. Drastically, horribly wrong. The musical stylings of Rick Wakeman were so appalling that they broke our damn website, and we haven’t been able to recover since. […]


i am a single mom of four and we are doing just fine. so i do not believe
abortion is the answer i believe God is the answer with him anything is possible.


[…] Since Bradrocket insists on staying on the religious tip, I am forced to deviate from my original counterattack strategy: […]


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