TV For Men Who Play With Ann Coulter Dolls

Spike TV finally comes up with a program for the man who is sick and tired of being demeaned by “SpongeBob SquarePants” and “Dora the Explorer”.

A television producer tired of seeing conservatives portrayed as zealots and “boobs” has helped create a new animated series featuring a journalist “passionate about the right-wing cause.”

“This Just In,” debuting March 14 on Spike TV at 10:30 p.m. Eastern and Pacific, will feature freelance columnist Brian Newport, tabbed as a Matt Drudge-like figure who “says what everybody’s thinking” with “no filter.”

A cartoon where the main character is Matt Drudge-like Rush Limbaugh? Sign me up for that!

The cartoon character, according to Spike TV, notably won an award for a column titled “If Ann Coulter is a man, then I don’t want to be straight!”

Well, since Matt isn’t straight, I guess we have our answer as to Ann’s gender.

Newport, in his late twenties, hangs out with buddies Craig Tindle, a “house-husband,” and Jimmy Townhouse, a teacher, described as Newport’s best friend and a moderate Democrat who “constantly has to apologize for his pal’s occasionally over-the-top opinions and actions,” according to a description on the Spike TV website.

The lead character, says Spike TV, is “outspoken, opinionated, unabashedly politically conservative and quick to crack an inappropriate joke.” Newport “is both the center of the hurricane and the cause of it. A speak first, think second, apologize eventually kind of guy … you can always count on Newport to either say what everybody’s thinking, or what everybody wishes he wouldn’t say at all.”

But with that description, doesn’t Newport come off as somewhat of a “boob,” cast in contrast to the refined sensibilities of his “moderate Democrat” friend?

No, says Marmel, “the jokes fall where they fall.”

“The only people who think this guy is a boob are the people who are boobs on the other side of the equation,” he said.

Let me get this straight: Newport “is quick to crack an inappropriate joke.” He is “the cause” of the hurricane. “A speak first, think second” kind of guy whose friends are always having to apologize for him. But the only ones who think he’s a boob are the liberal boobs — to everybody else, Newport is a breath of fresh air, a hero who “says what everybody’s thinking,” thus sparing them the effort of having to make articulate noises.

So, this cartoon takes place in an alternative universe where loudmouthed, rude, bombastic, jerks are admired by all (except boobs). The Fox News universe.


Comments: 11


Oooh, an animated Archie Bunker. Or will he be more like Paul Lynde?

I see they have a Token; that’s thoughtful. I wonder what they’ll have Newport say to him.

Maybe he’ll be like Cartman then, except not funny because Newport’s apparently the hero instead of the foil or fool.

Love your work, S,N.


Oops, sorry, love your work too, W O’C!


Hey- wouldn’t it be cool if they had Volcanoboy rail repeatedly against drug users and liberal judges and the ACLU and stuff, and then— surprise! he gets busted for OxyContin!!! and his friend the liberal democrat turns out to be an ACLU lawyer who has to get Volcanoboy off?


Retardo, I think you’re right on target. This is “All in the Family 2004”.

Brad Newport=Archie Bunker

Jimmy Townhouse=Mike “Meathead” Stivic

Craig Tindle=Edith Bunker

If they don’t start off with a “George Jefferson” based character they will have to add one ASAP. This character will have to have views just as conservative as “Newport” but belong to a group he despises as inferior. Wealthy conservative lesbian maybe…the potential for “inappropriate jokes” would seem extensive here. 🙂


Wait a minute, I’m getting confused here. Isn’t Rush Limbaugh the one with the man-boobs? Drudge’s thing is the hat, right? So are they grafting Rush’s boobs onto Drudge AND still letting him wear the hat? And be gay? Closeted? Married to his buddy? I don’t think they’ve thought this through very well. And what kind of names are “Newport” and “Townhouse”? Is this going to be about cigarettes and crackers?


On closer examination, it looks like they do have plans for a George Jefferson-esque character:

“The show also includes. . .Craig Tindle’s wife Hu, a neoconservative who sometimes clashes with Newport.”

There’s also Sami, the “smart, beautiful and ridiculously annoyingly leftist”

In other words, it’s a conservative “All in the Family”. Right-wing humor is nothing if not predictable.


I much prefer the Dishonest Dubya Lying Action Figure
to the Ann Coulter doll.


“… you can always count on Newport to either say what everybody’s thinking,”

No we’re not.


See; it is because of people like you (liberal; hate ourselves; America is so bad)having been in the spotlight for so many years that shows like this will be such a big hit. Trust me, it IS what MOST people think – Live in your world, we will live in the real one!


Amen, Chris.

These people are completely deluding themselves. I saw this show for the first time last night, and it was hilarious!

And come on… How can you people bash this show on the basis that “right-wing humor is nothing if not predictable”, and not bash “Whoopi” on a similar basis?

Someone’s not being intellectually honest here…


Oh boy, a cartoon version of the Fox News network, crossed with “All In The Family”. Except there’s no liberal voice to counter the predominate view from the right-wing. As a matter of fact, Bob Reiner has already been lampooned as another useless bleeding-heart liberal. This show is nothing less than right-wing propaganda thinly disguised as entertainment. Liberal “guest-stars” are regularly portrayed in a negative light, while their right-wing counterparts are shown to be paragons or victims. One episode portrayed pres. Bush as super-intelligent and only pretending to be simple-minded. The same episode portrayed liberal Martin Sheen to be a repugnant jerk. This isn’t political satire, it’s propaganda aimed at America’s youth. The bottom line is, this show is as “fair and balanced” as the Fox News network.


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