Grogan: Republicans Must Cheat to Win

And we’d thought the GOP had lost the kook vote.

Window of opportunity? . . .quick close it!
Kaye Grogan
October 19, 2006


When a potential voter observes the vulturous attitude of Nancy Pelosi waiting in the wings to be “Speaker of the House” this should be more than enough of an incentive to register your pets, pay a special visit to the dearly departed encouraging them to rise up and go to the polls long enough to vote — to defeat Pelosi’s chances of cracking her whip in the house.

Um, do what now?


…Okay, kitties. We have a special cat-treat assignment for you next Tuesday.


“Well I was rollin’ down the road in some cold blue steel,”

“I had ein Bluesman in der Back, und eine Beautician at der Wheel…”

“I was goin’ downtown in the middle of the night,”

“We was laughing and a-jokin’ and a-feelin’ alright..”

“Oh I’m bad, I’m nationwide.”

“Yes I’m bad, I’m nationwide.”

[putt-putt-putt-Erk! (slam)]

[Sousa theme, cheering crowds, patriotic voting sounds]

“Welcome back, we’re nationwide.”



Comments: 46


Each paragraph in that ‘article’ is a sentence.




Say Kaye is advising voter fraud.


Say Kaye is advising voter fraud.

She is, but is it such a good plan for her to rely on the zombie vote? I was under the impression that they craved brains. Where are they going to find brains on the Republican ticket?


Ok, this piece of literary rotting garbage is quintessentially KayeGro. Every paragraph leaps out at you as somewhere between a random collection of english language words and malicious nonsense.

Example 1

After observing the voting records of the “extremist” leftist Democrats — they could never be defined as the lesser of two evils — considering they are the total package when it comes to the axis of evil. This is one area the Dems have bragging rights to and they don’t have to worry that anybody else is going to steal their thunder.

I have no idea what she’s trying to say here. I mean, I get the “Dems are bad” message, but if you go back and parse this linguistic abortion, you just can’t get there.

Example 2

If the Democrats had been in power since 2001 after the 9/11 attack — the United States would probably have been wiped off of the map by now. I would feel about as secure as a mountain climber one strand away from my rope breaking peering down about 4,000 feet to the bottom — if they were in control. I can’t think of one single Democrat I would trust to oversee the safety of this country against our enemies.

More of the same, with the twist that in the process of writing this she actually managed to confuse herself – hence the unnecessary addition of the “–if they were in control” line.

Example 3

Waving the white flag in Iraq and raising taxes is the only wobbly platform the Democrats are running on. And oh yes!. . .they are wearing those old tinseled halos as if their party is completely void of misconduct of any kind.

Perfect mindless wingnuttery. Does it ever occur to these idiots that if that truly was the Democratic platform the Dems wouldn’t even get 5% of the vote. I mean, I don’t agree with the Republicans, but I’m at least not so addled that I can’t recognize that they DO have a message that actually resonates with a significant portion of the electorate. In the course of disagreeing with someone, it is not necessary to refuse to understand their appeal.

Example 4

Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton have more than one thing in common, but their main objective is securing a place in the history books as the first woman president and Speaker of the House. And with either one holding one of these positions would be catastrophic for the country.

After 6 long, brutal years under the bush/cheney cabal, to say that ANY other leadership would be catastrophic is at the very least melodramatic, if not downright, well, stupid….



Patently delusional pronouncements from an intransigent sycophant.


MJ’ and Kaye, “Grogan” in the same day?

Better not put up a Pammy link, or you won’t have any readers left, cuz all of our brains will have exploded.


Whenever I see that photo, I keep thinking: “Finally, I can put a face to Mrs. No-Supper-For-You”.


Ya know, it’s very nearly tempting* to wish for eternal Republican’t rule, just to see how awful the general situation would have to become before the likes of Kaye would turn on ’em. The only problem is, I can’t see that happening…*ever*. Hell, the ‘Pubs could cause another Depression, a World War or two, even provoke a nuclear exchange with a country that had the capacity to nuke us back, and everything would be okey-dokey with the Kaye Grogan-types of the world. They’d just end up blaming the Clenis somehow, or Hitlery. If the Clintons didn’t exist, the wingnuts would have had to create them out of whole cloth.



*well, not really.


Seriously, I know that I should be used to Kaye’s “grammar” by now, but this article makes me want to bust out my read pen and start marking up the screen with circles and sp?‘s and fragment, please revise‘s, etc.

Also, unfortunately for the felines, the Cat door of oppourtunity… has been “slammed” shut!


I finally figured out who it is that Kaye Grogan reminds me of.

Ed Anger.


She’s got the Cheney sneer! Seperated at birth?


Jillian, I think you’re right. Could it be that Ed Anger has come out as a transgendered person? Perhaps the evidence has been before us all along: “Kaye Grogan” is an anagram for “Anger gay, OK”! All we need is a classic Angerian simile — “I’m madder than a pork prick in a frying pan over…” — and we have conclusive proof!


OT, speaking of kooks, have you seen today’s Day by Day? You can just hear the heavy breathing of the strip’s “author” as he had the token black character make a “negro slave” joke.


When the Democrats take control of the House and possibly the Senate in about a week, it will be satisfying on many levels. We may finally have something resembling congressional oversight, and the days of the Bush rubber stamp will end. But perhaps the most satisfying aspect will be seeing the GoOPers’ heads explode as Speaker Pelosi is sworn in.


You’re comparing Kaye Grogan to Ed Anger? In the current political climate, Ed Anger is one of those crazed, extremist lefties like Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein and John Murtha.


Could someone please explain to me just what it is about Nancy Pelosi that makes the righties throw a rod? She’s hardly a female Che Guevara. Of course, the Clintons aren’t exactly lefties either.

All hail comrade Pelosi…. nope, doesn’t ring true.

KayGro needs to lose the godawful 80s hairdo. Gah! What is it, an homage to Reagan? Of course, you’ve got Ann Coulter sporting spandex mini-skirts c. 1987 rock club. it seems to be kind of a theme, doesn’t it? A paen to the days when men were men and women were either welfare queens or bourgoise wannabes with a taste for expensive china.


Candy, when you’re on the verge of falling off the edge of the right wing, everyone to the left of Joe Lieberman looks like they’re off in the political distance. I mean, how else can you justify “John Kerry and John Edwards are the two most liberal Senators”? In the eyes of the Bush-leeches, John McCain looked like Karl Marx in 2000 back before he was properly broken.


Just for the record, I actually *am* on the left – the honest-to-God left, and not what passes for “the left” in the minds of deranged wingnuts – and I don’t care much for Nancy Pelosi.

I can’t imagine most lefties would.


Pelosi’s not my favorite, either, but say the words “Speaker Pelosi”.
“Speaker Pelosi.”
Heads WILL explode, and the world will be a better place. And kittens everywhere will purr.


Well,, she’s not left enough for me either, but dang it, she beats the hell out of the right wing, and, as Lemonheads says, watching wingnut heads exploding is fine entertainment.

It’s just really odd to me that, while I can look at a Jim Leach and say, well, he’s a Republican but he’s not a neocon, the right can’t look at Pelosi or the Clintons and do the same.

Oh, what am I saying? I keep trying to apply logic, but it just doesn’t stick.

Smiling Mortician

So much to respond to, so little time:

mikey and Hemlock: The grammar is atrocious, given, but can we talk about the cliches? Jeebus!

Jillian: Thanks so much — I hadn’t thought of Ed Anger in years. You made my day.

JK47: Mildly good news for you regarding the possibilities for next week. In one of my classes today, a student asked what the Military Commissions Act of 2006 was. Several of his classmates knew, and explained quite well. Upon hearing the explanation, the initial questioner expressed his outrage — and was immediately joined by about 90% of the class. We moved on to other things, but at the end of class, I casually asked how many are registered to vote. All of them.

Ganesh Bengal Cat

I always knew y’all were racist. Not a single Bengal Cat. Not a single Abyssinian.

Mehitabel and I are SO gonna do some crimes.


Lemme just say you don’t win the election with the high ranking Democratic incumbents you wish you had, you win the election with the high ranking Democratic incumbents you have. And I’ve met Ms. Pelosi and I like the hell outta her. She’s got a tiny bit of “crazy” sparkling in her eyes, and no matter where you find her politics, she has a lions heart and more courage than most two-war decorated sergeants, and by jingo, if I get to watch her walk up and take posesion of that gavel from that spineless thug Denny Hastert, I’m gonna laugh and cry so hard it’ll be wonderful. Along with the added bonus of reminding wingnuts about dick cheney’s heart. Tick Tock, motherfucker….



I love the sound of “Speaker Pelosi.”

Despite that scary bumper sticker from Prickly City last week.

(Chickenshit conservatives are scared pretty easily. Did you see Mallard Fillmore today? I really don’t know how we can trust the conservatives to protect us from the French if they are so easily scared by straw man arguments.)


Close the tag! Seesh!


Sorry Hoosier, I’ll even read Rex Morgan, but I won’t read that fuckin duck…


Smiling Mortician

Well, I clicked over to the duck. Bad move. If you’re going to be both wrong and obnoxious, the least you can do is try to be funny . . .

Think I’ll roast a duck for dinner tomorrow.


I’ll bring the Shiraz, Mort….what time shall I be there?


Hey Mortician! Great idea. I’m gonna run over to the Lion market and get me a duck breast for dinner tonight! With a bit of fettucini and Asparagus. Damn, m’man, you solved the “what’s for dinner” dilemma. Thanks!!



May Kaye’s beloved and duly registered companion Toonces drive them to the polls.


Pelosi gets the following ratings:

100% rating from NARAL, indicating a pro-choice voting record
87% rating from the ACLU, indicating a pro-civil rights voting record
88% rating from CURE, indicating pro-rehabilitation crime votes
34% rating from US SOC, indicating a mixed business voting record
100% rating from the NEA, indicating pro-public education votes
90% rating from the LCV, indicating pro-environment votes
8% rating from the Christian Coalition, which speaks for itself
28% rating from CATO, indicating a pro-fair trade voting record
100% rating from APHA, indicating a pro-public health voting record
100% rating from SANE, indicating a pro-peace voting record
87% rating from AFL-CIO, indicating a pro-union voting record
F rating from the NRA, indicating a pro-gun control voting record

She also voted against the Patriot Act, and for Net Neutrality. She looks like a pretty solid liberal to me, far more liberal than Hillary. In short, she’s awesome.

Smiling Mortician

Well, I’d prefer a zero from the Christian Coalition, but let’s not let that spoil the dinner party. Cocktails at 6:30, everyone?


And I’d prefer a Democrat with the intestinal fortitude necessary to propose a single-payer health care system, instead of the (largely Democratically-created) fiasco we have now that leaves one in five Americans with no coverage……but I’ve got a fabulous recipe for a hazelnut-gorgonzola spread for any tart, ripe fruit you might have on hand. It’s especially good on Bosc pears, but it works well with apples, too. I’ll be sure to bring some.


MJ’ and Kaye, “Grogan� in the same day?

Better not put up a Pammy link, or you won’t have any readers left, cuz all of our brains will have exploded.

All your brains are belong to us.


The only Grogan I care about is Steve Grogan, who until Brady was the greatest Pats QB ever.


Millard Fillmore? Sheesh. Why don’t I just smack my balls with an icepick? Just as much fun, and twice as subtle.


I think it will be great having a speaker from one of the most liberal districts in the country. Someone who doesn’t have to worry about her own re-election, and can afford to take strong stands for liberal values. I saw her on 60 minutes and she came off as one tough cookie. The wingers hate her like they hate all successful liberal women. Successful conservative women don’t seem to bother them, for some reason.


You know, it’s silly, but, for all their war drumming, I think I have yet to hear or read or in any way shape or form have someone explain to me WHY Pelosi being speaker will bring about the advent of the anti-christ, cause planes to cease flying, turn our water to blood and make babies explode in chruch.
Call me old fashion, but I like me my arguments to have basis and facts and reasoning.

“Yay” cat is my favorite, followed closely by Hitler Cat.
Mallard Filmore (who cares) seems a lot like Prickly City (runs in that liberal rag known as the Washington Post, right next to the “Today’s Suggested Terrorist Attack” collum) in that they seem to get their material and taste for subtly, irony, and comic timing from Bill O’Reilly.
Ignoring how the comic is compleatly and slanderously incorrect, it’s not even remotely funny, interesting, insightful, ground breaking, asthetically pleasing, or worth the electrons needed to read it.
Also, i’m preety sure Mallard McHowardTheDuckRipoff is gay.

they're all midgets

a woman who looks like Kaye calls another woman “vulturous”? aside from the fact that there ain’t no such word… pot, meet kettle


She is, but is it such a good plan for her to rely on the zombie vote? I was under the impression that they craved brains. Where are they going to find brains on the Republican ticket?

That’s beautiful. I love you, Marita.


Why Pelosi is scary: She is a female liberal. End of story.


“Why don’t I just smack my balls with an icepick?”

Even worse, use the sharp bit on the end…that REALLY hurts.


BRUTUS: Are you getting mired down from the annoying
Propaganda of the political
Analysts who think they have a cutting
Edge on reading the minds of the voters
As they project who is going to win
The House and Senate in November?

CASSIUS: Aye, Brutus, and in faith, tis so, alas.

BRUTUS: Then think on this. One tonic does
Refresh and well revive the sagging mood–
A SoCo-Lime men call it. Therefore strive
To try one now, for comes the Happy Hour.

CASSIUS: We will, good Brutus, and with nachos, too.
Now come, the drinks and snacks are all on you.

(Exeunt all.)


I guess that cats familar with Republican politicians.


I think Brutus and Cassius are fighting for civil unions in New Jersey.
I wish them luck, and a box full of Bon Jovi tapes.


(comments are closed)