Boom Goes the Cannons, Watch the Blood and the Shit Spray

The Revolution will be Memeified!
Like Indiana Jones, I cherish art and despise Nazis.
Image taken from this video by Rob F

Taylor Wofford, Quartz:
Philosopher Slavoj Žižek settles the “Is it OK to punch a Nazi?” question once and for all

Let’s be frank, this last year has been pure unmitigated hell and if we managed to survive it, dragging our limped and bruised bodies and frayed minds clinging to the raggedy edge this far then damnitt we’re fucking superheroes.

Even if all that’s propelling us forward is spite and a refusal to be taken out by a carny-handed mango man (h/t Liberal Redneck), then fuck it that’s enough.

Cause those of us on the raggedy edge, well, we’ve seen America at its worst. We saw our country look at two candidates, one who molested kids on stage, threatened numerous war crimes, quoted from Mein Kampf, and was in every way an unfit sociopath with a hard-on for nukes, and another one who had a uterus and went welp, I do hate me some girl cooties, let’s go for Putin’s hand-picked fascist stooge.

We saw people who saw our fleeting moments of joy being able to marry who we love, come out as our real selves, start to see ourselves being a part of the American dream and so despised our happiness that they are willing to burn this country down to get it.

We saw a Republican Party realizing that their only hope for relevance was outright theft and no longer caring if everyone knows they are fascist crooks, because we’re not quite at the place where we’re willing to hang them outside their windows by their own intestines. And because they know they have corrupt fascist cops at their side.

We saw a Police State openly back literal nazis and provide them the support and protection they’ve never once given the marginalized. Especially the marginalized of color.

We saw a media willing to hamstring a qualified candidate who would have been flawed but overall positive for this nation because the orange fascist made for great TV, even when he was openly calling for the medias’ deaths and calling them evil jews. And normalizing nazis to the point where they’re walking the streets like hot shit.

And for those of us at Sadly, No! We saw the jokes and dregs we’ve been writing about here. The worst of the worst take control of the levers of power in this country. Birther Conspiracy Theory darlings in the President’s chair, Renew America’s golden child in the VP slot, fucking Breitbart and Stormfront and Chuck C. Johnson with actual authority and a hell of a lot of grudges and conspiracy theories behind them.

We saw all the little gaslighting tactics, conspiracy theories, and IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION utilized as weapons to normalize the unconscienable. And we’ve seen a country embracing fascism like a cat to someone’s unprotected leg skin.

So yeah, it’s been pretty shit and for a lot of us, we’re suddenly having to seriously consider what we need to do to protect ourselves from the potential of actual concentration camps and violent attack.

As such, it is sometimes nice to step back, take a deep breath and focus on the little things that make life worth living:

Ahhh, yes, the first spark of hope a lot of us have had. Watching proud neo-nazi Richard Spencer on one of his little media soft profiles where they ask him oh so gently why all the little peasants are calling him a nazi just because he uses literal nazi propaganda, openly supports genocide, and led a crowd of nazis to heil Trump using the actual fucking salute get his motherfucking shit clubbed in.

And most beauteously of all, the puncher looks (knock on wood) to have gotten away with it, which is not often the fate of those who sully the good time of nazi-cosplayers in front of their pet police forces.

It’s an unmitigated good thing, so transparently, morally right, that it’s literally what an action movie uses to show that their hero is the good guy. And for most people that’s the take. Though there have been white guys with theoretical ideas of morality who are more than willing to let others be beaten down without hope so long as they aren’t sullied by “moral impurity”.

But, that’s hardly a Sadly, No! post. No, to rank a Sadly, No! post in the modern day, we need something even whiter and more up-its-own ass than even the most smug of respectability politics loving asshole on your twitter feed.

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Yes, what? You disturbed my nap. What? Speak up son, nazi punching, heavens no, those folks are white like myself. No, we must all be like Gandhi, who was the most violent of them all by turning our back at them. Nazis hate unarmed backs open for knife blades, you know. Did I mention I write books? That’s what everyone should do now, buy my books. Now go away young person so I may fantasize about an idealized white past. That’s a good chap.

Oh, do we have a treat, ladies, gentlemen, non-binary gentry, and flubertian royalty.

Some of you may be blissfully unaware of who Slavoj Žižek is. And to you, I say, oh sweet summer child, I weep for your soon-to-be lost innocence.

Cause Žižek is… well, the best way to describe it is if you imagine if you got your drunk racist uncle high and tried to debate philosophy with him. Everything he writes is a mish-mash of word salad and just-so speculation often involving staggering ignorance of everyone who isn’t a white man.

But since he trades in providing “edgy” “hot takes” that are “counterintuitive” and is nominally a Marxist in a “well that’s how I grew up” way, he’s well beloved by the sort of wanna-be leftist who wears a Che Guevara shirt and thinks that makes him a revolutionary.

And this is despite being obviously ignorant about the world around him and unable to accept the thought that his jumbled drug-addled thoughts are not perfect spheres of pure wisdom.

So we get hot takes like “Donald Trump is actually a liberal centrist who will rule to the left of Hillary Clinton” and “trans people and asexuals are actually agents of the right and heterosexual white men are the real revolutionaries”. Basically shiny old conservative bigotry wrapped as “counterintuitive edgy revolution”.

Cause that’s sooooo hard to find these days.

“Is it OK to punch a Nazi?” is a question that has ricocheted around Twitter ever since Jan. 20, when “alt-right” provocateur and American white supremacist Richard Spencer got slugged on video by a masked protester during Donald Trump’s US presidential inauguration. Footage of the punch spread quickly around the internet, where it became a topic of much debate, a website and even a meme.

Yes, Virginia, sometimes Santa is real and doesn’t get detained indefinitely at the airport because his green card got suddenly invalidated by once living in Syria.

And lest we forget, Richard Spencer isn’t just a cheeky provocateur, but a literal nazi who literally muses on whether genocide of black people should be a ‘moral calling’, uses his air time to muse on whether jews are people and recruit, and who has led his fans in doxxing and threatening the genocide of an entire Montanan town’s population of Jewish people because that’s where his mom’s basement is and so that’s where he lives.

So him getting decked in the face in the middle of lying his ass off with a smug little grin and recruiting for his “kinder gentler Holocaust” bullshit is really one of the modern Wonders of the World.

Especially since it occurred during him trying to explain his fucking Pepe pin and doing his “oh look at me cheeky neo-nazi meme shtick”.

Really there’s no limit to how many times you can watch this:

But alas, we are not on this mango safari to enjoy the sweeter things in life, but rather to see them rot and decay in our heavily biohazard suited hands.

But while some people celebrated the punch, others wondered if, on a more philosophical level, sucker punching a neo-Nazi is ever acceptable behavior.

Oh, is this a beauteous thing that gives the abused marginalized in fear for their very lives something to hold onto? Why that cannot do. We must shit upon this in the name of heroic White Moderatism.

Most respectable types said no, while others, including many on the so-called “Dirtbag Left,” pointed out that punching Nazis is a time-honored American tradition.

Wooooow. Gosh, I wonder what’s your hot take Taylor. Will it be with the respectable gentry of society or the filthy Dirtbags who are probably like the leftist version of the Deplorables, because this is America and even the rise of a literal fascist movement will not sway us from our “the answer lies somewhere in the middle” fellatio of moderatism for moderatism’s sake.

No, I don’t care if it’s a choice between a woman who is fairly moderate and Piss Hitler, the true American always sees them as exactly equally as bad so that they don’t become infected with the terrible virus of actually being invested in whether or not people live or die.

So yes, respectability politics uber alles.

I asked controversial Slovenian philosopher and professor at the European Graduate School Slavoj Žižek what he thought. His answer might surprise you.

What? The guy whose career involves terrible “hot takes” of issues he doesn’t understand and builds his name on being “edgy” and “counterintuitive” has a “surprising” take on a current hot-button issue that just happens to be interesting to the sort of person that believes all the respectable people worth listening to are against nazi-punching?

Well, I’ll be damned. My monocle has sprung forth from my eye in shock and consternation!

(Editor’s note: the following transcript has been edited for clarity.)


Okay, I’m heavily amused by this, because it’s a beautiful testament to how much editors have to hack through Žižek’s word salad post its no-FDA salmonella attack.

And it’s about to make a shit-ton of sense why they had to put forth that note.

Quartz: So, is it OK to punch a Nazi?
Žižek: No! If there is violence needed, I’m more for Gandhian, passive violence.

Welp, so far so good. And pretty standard for boring white men. Invoke the name of Gandhi or MLK Jr, ignoring that their non-violence was tactical and intended to showcase how no provocations were needed to provoke extreme violence in state forces and neither considered non-violence a martyrdom that should chain all.

And using “safe” sanitized civil-rights figures who can’t speak up in their own defense because they got murdered by fanatics who hated them. And who both sneered deeply at White Moderatism’s love of order over justice.

I’ll admit, I was bracing for something a lot… wait, hold on, what was that last line again?

If there is violence needed, I’m more for Gandhian, passive violence.


I once made a statement, maybe you know it, which cost me dearly.

Oh dear Bob in Himmel, nothing good ever comes from a white man leading in with this faux-martyrdom shit. 9 times out of 10 it’s some weak-ass sob story about the one time he was called a bigot for saying something bigoted or ignorant and the last time, it’s him whining about losing one speaking engagement once for being a complete asshole while queer folks are fired because the wrong person saw their picture of their partner in their wallet.

I said the problem with Hitler was that he wasn’t violent enough.

Oh dear Bob, it’s the eleventh out of tenth time, where he literally defends Hitler.

Welp, at the risk of draining what is left of my sanity, please go on, how was Hitler… nope, never mind, I take it b-

Then I said, in the same statement, that Gandhi was more violent than Hitler.

Nope, don’t want to know-

All Hitler’s violence was reactive violence. He killed millions, but the ultimate goal was basically to keep the system the way it was—German capitalism and so on—while Gandhi really wanted to bring down the British state.

I- I-

Well, with an opening like that, with you literally defending the nazis and buying their propaganda that they just wanted to protect their poor white ethnostate from the mean Jews come to take it all away from them what with existing and all and buying the colonialist propaganda about Gandhi trying to tear down the British government, I wonder what side you’re going to come down on with regards to Nazi-punching.

Hint… media folks, it’s okay not to interview Nazis and Nazi-sympathizers about how they feel about Nazis getting punched. It’s absolutely okay to refuse to normalize literal Nazis and their apologists.

But his violence was symbolic: peaceful demonstrations, general strikes and so on.

Ah yes, symbolic violence. The most violenty of violences.

May I remind everyone that this is what remained after they edited his word salad for clarity?

But yes, he’s already revealed himself to sympathize with literal nazis, be a sucker for oppressive propaganda even decades after the fact, and shown his racism front and center, let’s see if he’s down with Nazis getting punched.

The suspense is killing me… no, wait, that’s not suspense, that’s just Nazis.

If a guy talks like that jerk [Richard Spencer], you should just ignore him. If he hits you, turn around. Don’t even acknowledge him as a person.

Ah, yes, the well-worn refrain to bullied kids everywhere. Ignore the bully and he’ll use your silence to believe he’s untouchable and torment you for months while you internalize your own worthlessness and believe you can’t even speak out about the abuse because it’ll just be “encouraging” the bully to beat you more.

No wait, I’m sorry, I got reality mixed up with platitude again. I meant to say, ignore the bully and he’ll go away and leave you alone, because you showed you were the bigger person and there’s nothing a bully loves more than someone they look down on for their identities or existence also acting smug that they are morally superior to them.

Ah damn, just keep accidentally kicking the switch for the reality/platitude inverter.

But yeah, any bullied kid learned the hard way that this advice is garbage. Once a bully is on you, they tend to stick around and turning your back and trying to ignore just makes them more likely to escalate and feel invincible because they know that everyone likes a bully victim to suffer nobly and so the systems of power are behind them and will protect their actions.

And with Nazis, we’ve seen what ignoring them does. We ignored them until it was too late in the run-up to WWII. We ignored them until it was too late when they were recruiting the hate movement that took over gaming and the MRAs. We ignored them until it was too late during the election.

And now that ignoring has not worked to the point where literal Nazis are in positions of power in the government and making their fascist wet dreams a reality, brave white moderates who want an excuse to turn their backs on the suffering of others are all keen and proud to keep calling for ignoring the bullies.

Ignore that that suspiciously seems like a transparent attempt to rebrand political cowardice and deliberate ignoring of violence perpetrated by the powerless as some brave moral stance.

And ignore that Žižek can afford to turn around because he’s not being directly targeted by these fucks.

This is moral philosophy, people!

That’s the type of violence I would call for.

Up is down, black is white, and finding an excuse to ignore the suffering of others is the real violence in service to the revolution.

What? Self-serving? Never! Perish the thought!

Not physical violence. Because, you know, people say symbolic violence can be even worse, but don’t underestimate physical violence. Something happens when you move to physical violence. I’m not saying we should greet everyone, embrace them. Be brutal at a different level.

This is after editing people.

Sigh… you think about all the people, talented writers and thinkers toiling away at minimum wage jobs cause of who they are and cause they had to do what they needed to do to survive and then here is this talentless dipshit earning multi-millions to babble incoherently about “symbolic” violence.

When you encounter a guy like the one who was punched, act in such a way that even hitting him, even slapping him is too much of a recognition. You should treat him or her or whoever as a nonperson, literally.

In fact, ignore him completely, turn off your computer, and just never google about him and don’t listen to his victim’s screams, they are just trying to make you less violent like Hitler. /Žižek “logic”

In other words, leftists should “go high?”
I remember when [Greek leftist party] Syriza was still competing for power in Greece. A representative of [far-right political party] Golden Dawn threw glasses full of water at his Syriza opponent at a TV round table. A couple of times, Syriza members of parliament were attacked in parliament, and so on. Today it’s these new alt-right people who are acting physically violent.

Oh I guess I have to admit that it’s the right who are the primary source of violence… ugh! Pretending to be vaguely leftist is hard.

But seriously, let’s just take a minute and truly appreciate the bullshittery inherent in him trying to sell this little aside as if it’s a minor thing by finding the most tame versions of right-wing violence he could. Oh, yes, there was some water thrown and a bit of a brawl in a Parliament. What fun.

Let’s just ignore the murdered kids under Breivik, the slaughtered Church members under Roof, the queer latin@s butchered at Pulse, or heck that antifa street medic that got shot in the street by a Milo fan. Not to mention the hundreds driven to suicide by targeted harassment by angry Nazis or the hundreds of mass shootings caused by some right-wing fuck getting pissed off that his woman dared leave him or that he saw two men kissing once. Or the thousands of trans folks murdered every year by angry bigots-

They represent the decay of common morality and decency. And I use here the the very precise term, Hegel calls it Sittlichkeit. It’s not simple morality, it’s a set of thick unwritten rules which makes our social life bearable. And, paradoxically, I think that progressives should become the voice of common decency, politeness, good manners and so on.

Oh, what, did we have a singular lucid moment? Well, I’ll fucking be.

Cause yeah, there has been an abandonment of the unwritten laws of our society and our democracy by angry fascists. And it’s effective, because people don’t know how to deal with someone breaking the social contract like that and so tend to freeze up and not know how to respond which is why it’s weaponized as a tactic a lot in sexual assaults and abuse.

And often times, it’s the normalcy of the violation of those social boundaries, with no fear that they’ll ever face consequences that is so terrifying.

Cause we rely on these little social norms to function and trust in our surroundings. We need to know that our partners are not going to take a vulnerable moment to violate our boundaries or hit us, that we’re safe in public spaces, and so on.

And that’s why being abused and marginalized is so frequently traumatic. When a partner has already done a harm onto you, when you’ve been attacked in the street, when you try and trust the system and it looks at your marginalized status and shrugs, it reveals the inherent lie of society and how much the deck is stacked against you in a terrible way.

And Nazis take advantage of that a lot. They know that the cops are on their side and unlikely to arrest them because their victims tend to be marginalized individuals that most of society is bigoted against. And they use our natural inclinations to see the best in folks and trust in fairness in order to seize more power and make their eliminationist aims even less punished in society. (See all the internet nazis hiding behind “free speech” to defend their recruitment and harassment or trying to sell their genocidal hopes and dreams as a “different opinion”).

Hell, it’s what makes this election so terrifying. It was so obviously stolen by international meddling, open treason by multiple officials, mass disenfranchisement, and literal hacking and yet, what can we really do when they just take the power and go “what of it?” It changes the game and the unwritten laws of society and reveals every social norm of democracy an easily discarded lie. And it’s hard to adapt to the reality that we’re no longer a full democracy… no really.

And it’s why brilliant journalists like the writers of Teen Vogue have been noting how much the Trump ethos evokes the gaslighting in abusive relationships.

Here I see also the failure of political correctness, because political correctness is, for me, a desperate reaction to this disintegration. But they are doing it in a suicidal way, by precise regulations, saying this word is forbidden and so on. If it has to proceed like this, the left has already lost.

But of course, that lucid moment can only last for so long, before the old white man does what too many old white men do*, rant about “political correctness” because “people actually call me out on transparent bigotry like calling Gandhi more violent than Hitler and I want to pretend that is the same as actual oppression” takes too long to say.

*And if you’re an old white man and not a pile of shit, dear Bob do I appreciate you like hell, cause you sir are a dying breed. And you’re going to have an important role in using your voice and body to protect those more marginalized from what’s coming.

Damn kids having hard won equality about to be sand-blasted by angry old white men having a racist temper-tantrum to actually be heard when you say the same shit about how bigoted all our bigoted shit it.

Cause ranting about being called bigoted is totally going to prove how bigoted you’re not. *roll eyes*

But the “when they go low, we go high” strategy didn’t actually work for Democrats against Donald Trump in 2016.

Oh hello, interviewer, did you perchance find your ovaries after all? How nice. I’m sure he’ll acknowledge the bankruptcy of his worldview and reconsider… pffft, no, he’s an old white guy with a stick up his ass, it’s time to rag on whatever the kids do to cope instead.

It’s much more complex than that. I think that’s their biggest mistake. Isn’t is sad that the best left-liberal critique of Trump is political comedy? People like Jon Stewart, John Oliver and so on. It’s nice to make fun of him, but you laugh at him and he wins. My God! There is something terribly wrong with playing this game of ironically making fun of Trump. You know, in medicine they call it symptomatic healing, when you take some things, they just neutralize the effects, like you have this pain, but they don’t heal the disease itself.

Ah yes, filthy snake people are using satire to cope with their relative powerlessness and the surreality of their opponents, shockingly using that to gain some manner of social relevance thanks to some older comedians who happened to plug into a cultural zeitgeist at a critical moment and do the job of journalism better than most journalists.

And well, no shit, that’s what people turned to. It’s the tool powerless people always turn to. Finding a means to laugh through pain is how you survive trauma, how you rebuild agency, and how you heal. And it can be powerful.

A lot of hate movements trade on toxic masculinity. On being seen as a powerful group of winners who are able to beat around marginalized groups with impunity. It’s a large part of Trump’s selling point and why every act of cruelty he performed just made him more popular with the bigots.

Revealing them for the weak pathetic cowards they are can thus ruin that image. Superman comics massively decreased the numbers of the KKK by making it fundamentally uncool, something their kids playact getting beat up by the “good guys”.

And the rise of the modern Nazis has a lot owed to the “bad is cool” aesthetic that has built up in a lot of geek media, where the name of the game are anti-heroes who are vile bigoted assholes but know how to get shit done and look cool doing it.

Hell, a lot of social movements end up gaining traction not through legislative victory, but by getting the mushy middle to see one side as more popular than the other. It’s why all the neo-nazi tech bros and Russian agents were flooding all the social media sites with neo-nazi memes. So that those who are swayed by numbers would see this as something a lot of people are doing and thus something they should pay attention to and join in on.

And so the mushy middle would see this as a “big thing” involving white people and thus more likely to treat it with kid gloves rather than calling it out for the bullshit it was.

Heck, it’s the same tactic the hate movement that ruined gaming used, make their numbers look big, flood the social media with noise, and confound the media into buying its big lies.

And if we’re going to get out of this, the media is going to need to learn how to stop falling for it or its going to be eaten alive by a Trump that wants absolute control over what is reported as reality.

Criticizing Trump is just symptomatic healing. Trump is an effect of the failure of the liberal-left. Everybody knows this knows this now. The only way to really beat Trump is to radically rethink what does the left mean today. Otherwise he will be getting ordinary people’s votes.

And yes, the portion of white men out there trying to use the fascist uprising to throw all the marginalized people under the bus and decry “identity politics”, we see you and we’re remembering.

What do you think Trump will do?
You know what my fear is? Not that Trump will fail and there will be chaos, but for some real period of time, what if he succeeds? You know what happened in Poland? The Law and Justice party, they did such a tremendous social transfer to the poor that no elected European government would dare to do it. They lowered retirement age, they made better conditions for health care, more help for mothers with children and so on. No wonder that people like them. My God! They did something that no left government dares to do. And for me this is the sad truth of Europe: it’s a paradox.

Hey, fellow leftists…

But seriously, this is the most transparent bullshit you could ever ask for. Gosh, what’s my worry about Trump. Is it all the damage he’s going to do to causes I care about? Ha ha, fuck no, I’m an old white bigot. I’m mostly worried he’s going to win so much we’ll be like “whoa, look how much winning, this socialist playground is awesome!”

Cause yanno, that’s what right-wing fascist movements do. And we need to look no further than (looks sideways at the tire fire that has been the last week)… uh…. er… that is to say…

When I was young I remember when former US president Nixon went to China. The idea was that only a right-winger can do something like this. If a left-winger, or a Democratic president had done this, he would have been attacked as a traitor. The same paradox in France, you remember. Only De Gaulle was able to recognize an independent Algeria. A left-winger would have been considered a traitor. And we are at the end of this crazy logic. If you want better conditions for the working class, you have to be populist right wing.

Yes, cause the populist right-wing is famous for improving conditions for the poor… ohhhh, you don’t mean actual poor or “working class”. You mean the same shit every other racist ass piece of shit means when they talk about the “working class”.

Which is “white middle class racists who like to pretend they are poor when they are actually making a decent enough salary to own a house and not have to worry too much about credit”.

And yeah, they’ll have “better conditions”. Not in the sense of there being a middle class anymore, but in terms of getting to watch people they don’t like get beat into the ground to get their scummy little rocks off cause that’s more satisfying than admitting the filthy liberals were right, capitalism is trying to destroy them and the free market was a transparent lie*.

*Oh yes, beat up on all the immigrants, that’ll make your old union job with the good benefits come back without having to do all the messy work of actually forming a union.

Heck, it’s even easier for mediocre comfortable shitheads once they don’t have to worry about any possible competition from anyone not as lily-white as they are.

What will you do?

Oh dear interviewer, you shouldn’t keep asking good questions, you might get him to reveal the moral bankruptcy of his actions.

But okay, let’s play pretend. Okay, greatest mind of Marxism, hero to the true Left (by which I mean white, male, and middle class and prone to conservative propaganda). He’s going to talk about how he’ll be leading a real resistance or create a new left that can push back against the rising tide of fascism around the globe.

The only way to survive such shitty times, if you ask me, is to write and read big, fat books, you know? And I’m writing now another book on Hegelian dialectics, subjectivity, ontology, quantum physics and so on. That’s the only way to survive.

Ah, of course, reading and writing and pimping your book. Yes, the true hallmarks of revolution. Cause why risk your status when you can get rich off the collapse of modern democracy.

That’s “real” leftism, that is.

Like Lenin. I will use his example. You know what Lenin did, in 1915, when World War I exploded? He went to Switzerland and started to read Hegel.

Yes, Lenin, famed for sitting around reading books instead of doing anything genuinely revolutionary. That’s why he’s taught in history classes. Next let’s talk about Stalin’s love of arranging party hats in unique patterns and how that somehow lead to the deaths of millions of people in purely incidental ways.

In these desperate times, I’ve begun to look at old Hollywood musicals. Now everybody’s seen it, but I found a good pirate copy of La La Land. And then I saw one of the old musical masterpieces: [from 1935], Ginger Rogers, Fred Astaire. Top Hat. And it occurs to me, I want to write something in defense of these old musicals, where they tend to act without psychological depth. They just move like puppets. It’s too psychological for me, La La Land. I prefer the total puppets of Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. Maybe I will write something.

What? Old racist white man justifying turning their back on the suffering of others and pish-toshing their attempts to do something retreats into sanitized fantasies of an all-white utopia from his youth?

That’s so shocking and rare!

Or maybe we can curse you and all the other selfish assholes who knowingly sold bullshit fantasies normalizing Trump and demonizing the dirty girl with the dirty girl cooties because you can’t own your sexist bullshit.

And we can find some gentle solace in these terrifying times and some hopes that maybe we can resist this.

Or at the very least, we can see that shit-eating grin get knocked off Spencer’s Nazi face to some kick-ass tunes!

Ahhh, better…ish… fuck it, let’s have one more:

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Rest up, survive, and if you’ve got a chance, punch a Nazi in the face and don’t look back. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*Yes, I’m back. And I intend it to be for good this time (posts every week). I didn’t really tell people when it was going on, but there was some stuff that went down and I kinda got targeted by a hate group and got scared for what little stability I’d built and then got paralyzed by my nightmares turned flesh in the Trump campaign when I was recovering from that.

But I’ve reached a point where I’m just out of fucks to give. If I’m going to be dead within these four years? If I’m likely going to have to flee the country of my birth to keep my fiancee safe? Then I’m going out as myself and I’m not going to let the whiny pissbabies who elected Piss Hitler to be the new fuhrer drive me away or make me second guess myself or get me to avoid things that give me strength any longer.

**But no seriously, survival is going to be the highest and most important thing for us. It’s an act of resistance in and of itself. Take care of yourself and don’t give the bastards of the satisfaction of your suicide. If you’re only holding on for spite, hold on to that spite.

And if things get bad, please use this:


Comments: 26


Yay, Cerb is back! Great post!

Hope you’re doing okay – stay safe!


It’s a shame how he ran right into that guy’s fist.

Oh well, accidents happen.


Shorter Žižek, after performing moral and ethical and intellectual acrobatic contortions : “Passivity is violence.” What an astonishing supernova of rationalization.

Shorter GOP: “The nation has to be destroyed in order to save it.”


Fantastic one Cerb, great to see you back…I’ll have to admit to doing my own spencer remix, by replaying the thing four or five times in a row but the new ones are good and will have to be saved to disk for and usb stick for future sneakernet storage purposes.

I just had a shuddering, when it occurred to me that there might be some other out group outcast identity left unstolen by fascist…

Chris Smalling just scored for United and may be wearing my new haircut, I need to check that out…


First they came for the Nazis, and I was glad, because fuck Nazis.


Oh and what Kong said, plus, I have now watched and smiled at least 15 times in what might be an arduous trek to find a bit of sympathy for the poor guy. I failed, brought the ship back into port, gave the crew some time with their family…Once the ship is laded and everyone has had a good rest, we’ll take her out again for a spin, that the acquisition of this ‘sympathy’ might prove as difficult as that of Grails, Holy, or Teeth, Hens, I feel it necessary to make the effort.

Thank you!


The ship reloaded, laded, and manned, set sail for the fine lagoon of hilarious for yet another 12 to 15 viewings, each of which produced the same smile again and again.

Taking what I can get for 10 Alex!!!


If this guy keeps getting pasted in the face every time he opens his pie hole, we may in fact learn whether or not it is possible to smack the stupid out of someone.


Punching lunatics who probably have an arsenal of weapons someplace… what could possibly go wrong?


Not quite sure what that I understand you are getting at there, Some guy. I’m not exactly a fan of random acts of violence, but I certainly think that this does not meet that criteria.

Morons with guns is always going to be a problem, and I would be happy to live in a world without them.


Speaking of punching nazis, the virulently anti-gay street preacher “Hipster Fred Phelps” got KO’d at the Portland airport protest.

I related my personal experience with him in a comment in that reddit thread. Fwiw, my reddit usernym is yourfairygodmother.


Alternative shorter, in GIF format:


I was only a little annoyed until I came to this:

“…And I’m writing now another book on Hegelian dialectics, subjectivity, ontology, quantum physics and so on…”

and then I spit. “Quantum physics”! Motherfucker’s going to write a book about quantum physics! For fuck’s sake. There’s nothing “subjective” or “ontological” about quantum physics at all. It’s physics. It attempts to describe the physical world. If Zizek can tell me the equation relating a photon’s wavelength to its energy I’ll eat my fucking hat.


OBS, That might end up on the front page, If I get to feeling frisky, the only problem I could possibly see might be bandwidth usage, though I am sure that you can carry the one for me might suggest that once the gif has been loaded that bandwidth is no longer a problem. At least that is what I am retrieving from the still compromised memory bank…

Again. effing Brill!


Welcome … back???

Richad Stallman’s ugly kid brother says WHAT?

Ugh, faux-heavy historical illiteracy – so hip, so useless, so toxic. Why do I have the nasty feeling I know more about either Hegel OR quantum physics (mentally omnivorous & shiftless 1/256th Yeti mutant that I was/am/will be) than this smarmy oleaginous twat?

Wall Street Journal op-ed gig, here I (don’t quite) come!
Ehh, Bob knows they’d have to shit-can me in three months, tops.
Le sigh.

Just one little problem with your #MAGA anti-reality old-school hate orgy, America.
it’s kind of contagious.

This shit is not copacetic, America.
Not copacetic at all.

You already have Combover Caligula dead to rights on multiple counts.
As of now, you still have a judiciary.

Please take action accordingly.

Pretty please with sugar on top.


Any moral qualms I had about punching Nazis were resolved by this handy questionnaire:

Leaving only the requirement to start muscling up


and then I spit. “Quantum physics”! Motherfucker’s going to write a book about quantum physics!

Oh lawsy, he’s going into Deepak Chopra territory. One wonders – though not much as it’s not worth more than a femtosecond of pondering – if his aim is to out-nonsense nonsense king Chopra.


OBS, That might end up on the front page

Provider, have at it — although I wish I could tell you it was my creation. The source gif is from the Rick & Morty show (here’s the clip with sound on YouTube: ). The flowchart was added over the top of that by somebody on Imgur.

Which brings me to the bandwidth — the gif is hosted on Imgur, requested by the each user’s client browser, and delivered to them directly. No, Sadly (heh) bandwidth used at all.


Big virtual hug to Cerberus, along with a virtual laurel and hearty handshake. Welcome back!


In re the general topic here –

Anybody else remember Buzz Aldrin punching a moon landing conspiracy theorist in full view of a cameras because he was harassing him? Zinedine Zidane head-butting an Italian soccer player in the middle of the World Cup for making disparaging remarks about his sister? Bernadette Devlin bitch-slapping the British Home Secretary responsible for Bloody Sunday on the floor of Parliament for claiming that it was self-defense?

Yeah, that. All actions that earned them a ton of cheers, despite the fact that the offense in all these cases was much less than literally calling for genocide. I’m not going to start writing a thesis on whether and when punching people is justified, but heck, I was happy when the three aformentioned punches happened, and I can’t pretend that I’m terribly bent out of shape about this one.


No, Sadly (heh) bandwidth used at all.




Cerb, I teared up a little bit when I saw a byline with your name on it. It’s been an emotional couple weeks and I needed to read this. Thanks for the cleansing fire of your wit.



Government should be run like a neolithic warlord-based theocracy business, silly libs!


very, very good to have you back. going to a long few years.


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