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Above: Pam! I Feel Like A Woman (doop-doop de-doo-doo)

“Obama bin Laden” — we’ve been waiting for that one. Also, Pammy predicts a lot of Democratic “fighting” about electronic voting machines, because “voter fraud is the only way [Democrats] can win” and “machines don’t lie.”

Besides being head-bonkingly stupid in four simultaneous dimensions of space-time, that’s actually quite interesting. There’s been a rising murmur on the right about ballot fraud, and about some kind of planned Republican pushback after the election results come in and they prove unfavorable to the GOP.

What it means, I don’t know; but it’s like hearing teacups rattling in the pantry and noticing that the cats are all hanging out under the furniture. Maybe nothing, but a bit eerie, seismically.

Treat your dog to Liv-A Snaps!

 

Comments: 121

 
 
 

She even scares her own dog away.

 
 

Yes! It’s all a secret plot by Hugo Chavez to pwn our voting machines.

*bangs head on keyboard*

 
 

Here’s my wild-assed ballot fraud prediction for this election. Our side has been making a lot of noise about Diebold, and rightly so. I predict that in some Diebold district where we have a huge lead, Republicans will hack the voting machines to make the margin in a few precincts even BIGGER for the dems. Then they’ll show how they “discovered” voter fraud by Democrats (which was of course perpetrated by Republicans).

That’s my “wake up in a cold sweat” nightmare about this election. Not that we’ll lose, but that we’ll win legitimately, and they’ll rig it to make it look illegitimate. Like the TANG memos all over again.

 
 

var Pam = sharp

int thefactis(Pam);

 
 

..Wow. That’s way better then my 1984 prime time show idea, Seitz.

My pain thresh hold is dead right now, so I can’t watch. BUT! If you drag the place thingy around, you get some pretty freaky still shots. Like. 4:01. 1:23 is pretty good.
ohhh, 0:41 is priceless.

 
 

Gary, ya just don’t get out much do ya?

 
 

Having an average weekend.

 
 

Thanks, Seitz. Now I will blow my extra hour of sleep not sleeping.

 
 

That probably makes more sense then her “vlog” would, islmfaoscist.

 
 

Remember this handy rule: When a Republican accuses a Democrat of committing a crime, they are projecting their guilt. Well, they don’t feel guilty, but they like to think their opponents are worse than they are.

This makes it very easy to follow Republican crimes. They come right out and tell you.

 
 

Does that shrieking harpy have a poster of Voltron hanging on the wall behind her?

 
 

Who let that woman into that cute video of a puppy?

 
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.L._Mencken#Quotations Zowie!

Don’t forget:

“As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
–H. L. Mencken

 
 

How could one person be so crazy & stupid at the same time. She’s a walking critical mass of idiocy. Even the poor dog can only take a few minutes…

 
 

Oh! Make it stop! I know for a fact I did not click on Pam, and that I did nothing to make her start talking, but SHE STARTED HERSELF!!!! I swear i am not making this up!

Halloween came early for me this year!

Now the you tube square is black, but I can still hear her voice!!!!!!!!!!! “Bush lied, people died”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aieeeee!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna go get an exorcist.

(You know, she’s somehow ever WORSE when you can’t see her.)

 
 

It stopped. All better now… (takes a valium)

Is it just me, or did she sound even crazier? Guess Gary isn’t the only one decompensating in advance of the election.

 
 

The fact is that the only way Democrats can win is though massive fraud, which is why they’re funding the Constituent Dynamics polls, in order to give themselves cover.

 
 

Jesus balls! She’s just so… god-damned awful… A lot of people will try to tell you that Goldschlager, cocaine and video cameras don’t mix. They’re right.

Nice work, Le Shriek – you’ve just sterilized half the blogosphere.

 
 

Gary, you give and give and give.
You’re too generous.
Step back and take some time for yourself, Gary. You’ve given so much, and neglected to feed your soul, to supply your spirit with the things that make “Gary” happy.
Yes, I said it. Be happy, Gary.
If that involves Canadian Club and a shitload of porn, so be it.
Be happy, Gary.

 
 

Gary, the Republicans control all three branches of the government, how exactly are the Democrats going to steal this election? What no rant against Webb today? No defaming of Claire McCaskill for being for stem cell research. The fact is that you keep talking about the senate races in Missouri, Virginia and Tennessee. If the only way the democrats can win is to steal an election, why are you spending all your time fighting for red state senate races?

 
 

The fact is that the only way Democrats can win is though massive fraud, which is why they’re funding the Constituent Dynamics polls, in order to give themselves cover.

Baghdad Gary, I would just like to say a preemptive goodbye to you. I’m sure once the Democrats take the House at minimum (like even the Bush-fellator Fred Barnes agrees will happen), the exit polls confirm it, the White House accepts it, and everything gets back to business as usual, we’ll never see you again due to your shame at being a Baghdad Gary predicting the death of the Democratic party.

I have to say I will miss the hilarious comedy of such things as predicting Katherine Harris’s stunning victory from 35 percentage points behind in the polls, though. You do make us laugh!

Please take your Dustbin of History with you on the way out.

 
Karatist Preacher
 

That poor dog.

 
 

The fact is that the Democrats will steal the election due to the work of Venezuelan Chavez supporters, such as the ones who own Sequoia. Chavez has a lot of experience in stealing elections too, such as the recall where the exit polls had him down 59/41 and he won 59/41.

As well, Venezuelans are advising the Dems on how to switch votes, and helping them herd Illegals to vote on November 7th.

 
 

The fact is that the Democrats are getting help from space aliens to win the election.

The aliens are using special mind rays to drive Republicans like Gary and Pammy even crazier than they already are.

———————————–
Rocky vs. Bullwinkle

 
 

“There’s been a rising murmur on the right about ballot fraud, and about some kind of planned Republican pushback after the election results come in and they prove unfavorable to the GOP. ”

Really? Where have you heard this? It makes sense in a sick, perverse way but I don’t go anywhere near the real wingnut sites and the only “person” I’ve heard talk about electrion fraud on the Democratic side is Gary.

 
 

A puerile miasma of histrionic blather.

 
 

Sorta OT: I am going to be so terribly disappointed if someone has previously shared this Gary Ruppert tidbit with Sadly, No!. Or if it came from here, originally, and I just missed it.

Thersites has this posted on his blog and I cannot describe the joy it brought me:

http://whiskeyfire.typepad.com/whiskey_fire/2006/10/the_majesty_of_.html

Now, since there is no longer a preview button for reasons best known to the proprietors, I must have faith that this link will work properly.

 
 

I forgot to add that there is no way you guys are ever gonna get me to click on another AtlasJugs vlog. Never again. I’m just not well enough.

 
 

Now look, Gavin. Seriously. It’s a beautiful sunshiney fall morning in NorCal. I have a good Ethiopian Coffee, a fire in the fireplace, fresh crisp air and the kind of quiet peace that one seldom has these days. There is NO WAY I’m going to click that vid. I don’t want to see her, I don’t want to hear her, I don’t even want to think about her. I’m going to take a little walk around the neighborhood now. And when I come back, I’m sure she’ll be gone…

mikey

 
 

I clicked on it, but it was waaaaay too long. I couldn’t sit through the whole thing.

P.S. Ken Mehlman, who ran ads accusing Ford of taking money from pornographers, has a little hypocrisy problem.

/surprise!

 
 

Fucking hell. I clicked on Pam but had to stop when she started playing The Ramones. Horrid, horrid waste of space. Joey is spinning. Even Johnny is a little embarrassed.

 
 

I tried. I got through 2:30 and gave up.
That’s some painful stuff.
The incoherent rambling..is that a trademark of her “vlog”?
Just wow. If this chick was hitchhiking on the interstate and I had to listen to two minutes and thirty seconds of her tripe I’d give her twenty bucks and the directions to the nearest bus pick-up.
I’ll never have those two minutes and thirty seconds again, and I’m sending you the bill.

 
 

I, too, once vowed to never click on Pam again. Reminiscent of the worst drug-addled fever dreams I’ve ever had.

But eventually, horribly, you convince yourself ‘just one more. I can handle it this time’ and make that fateful link…

I couldn’t even make it to the cute puppy rumored to be in there, or the Ramones (wtf?!?)

And now I’m going to spend the rest of the day in an alcoholic haze, trying to drive the horrors from my mind with the mindless incoherencies of football color commenters. Incoherent, yes, but at least focused on the game at hand, rather than jumping from topic to topic like meth-addled gerbils, squeaking all the while.

Overall, though, I have to say she’s funnier when she’s drunk.

 
 

The fact is we should stay the course in Iraq.

 
 

The fact is we were never stay the course.

 
 

The fact is url links are important when we discuss stay the course.

 
 

Wow, ‘Sadly No!’ is really coming along in popularity. If a dedicated troll for every thread isn’t a measure of success, I don’t know what is.

 
 

Wow, ‘Sadly No!’ is really coming along in popularity. If a dedicated troll for every thread isn’t a measure of success, I don’t know what is.

Sometimes you’ll get Annie, Mal, Ruppert and the “OJ Simpson Case” guy all on the same thread. It’s truly magical.

 
 

Dammit, Gary keeps confusing the hell out of me. In less than 24 Hours it’s gone from the GOP tidal wave will have Katherine Harris Win to the Democrats in cahoots with Hugo Chavez are going to steal the election. Gary, if the defeatocrats are so inept (because as you have pointed out on numerous occasions, they have lost so many elections), how can they completely turn an election around in 24 hours (even if it is in you mind stealing, rather than the will of the people)?

 
 

Well, dammit, either my link didn’t work or y’all are too lazy to click on it. So I’m gonna copy n paste (oooo it makes me feel all…trolly). This is from Thersites’ blog:

October 27, 2006
The Majesty of the Law

Discovered in the Wild:

Well, I must go back to making real estate deals that make me wealthy.
Gary Ruppert

Christ, that’s funny.

Come on you guys! Don’t you see the implications of this??? Gary has (or claims to have) a real job!

I must discover where Thers found this. Perhaps it’s another Gary Ruppert. But if it’s our Gary Ruppert, imagine how proud Gary’s Mom must be!

 
 

Hey GW, I not only clicked over, I left a funny haha comment…

mikey

 
 

Gentlewoman, I went there, and was all set to make a comment.

But then, I was distracted by a bright shiny thing (Dodge Dakota on Ebay!), and next thing you know, I’d closed all my browser windows.

But I will say this, if Gary is really talking about real estate deals making him wealthy, he is on the wrong side of the tidal wave.

P.S. Links are meant to be clicked on, people! It’s hard work…especially without the preview button that was sold to buy drugs by someone who just won’t confess.

P.P.S. I was looing for a Monty Python Inquistion youtube, and then hit the mouse problem. RoxxoRz!!11!eleven!

Again.

 
 

The fact is that I did click over.
The fact is that I had absolutely nothing to say about it.
The fact of the matter is that I was too busy lying on the floor bursting with gales of laughter
The fact is that Gary does make a killing off real estate.
The fact of the matter is, the commercial said he could make thousands of dollars a week in extra income, without using a dime of his own money, without moving out of mom’s basement.

 
herr doktor bimler
 

The fact is that Gary has also been sighted commenting on Balloon Juice. I feel… betrayed.

 
 

“Machines don’t lie.”

Machines lie if people tell them to.

Hips don’t lie.

 
 

Balloon Juice? Gary? Jeebus. John Cole is a happier man because of this, I am sure.

However, my little world just came crashing down around my ears. I’m off to sulk, then. Perhaps just the tiniest nibble of cheese. And some quiet squeaking. It has to be quiet, otherwise Ganesh Bengal Cat gets all…weird. Weirder than he usually is, I mean.

Well done, mikey and ifthe!

So Gary’s making a fortune in real estate? Sadly, No!

Another illusion shattered.

 
 

Can someone replay the shrieking harpy at 33rpm? 78rpm is way too fast unless she’s related to Alvin & The Chipmunks.

 
 

so let me see if I get this. In districts controlled by Republicans (Ohio, etc.) if they Democrats win, it will be the Democrats hacking the machines? How does that work? Cuz the Democrats have so much access, controlling the local governments, and all?

 
 

Can someone replay the shrieking harpy at 33rpm?

Now I haven’t been willing to watch pammie’s cheerleader for genocide act in a number of months, but from what I observed during the summer, she’s at that point in her addiction where she needs the alcohol when the meth gets too intense, but then she needs the meth to offset the alcohol. As a result she veers between drunk and geezed, and what you get on the vlog strictly depends on what point in the cycle shes at…

mikey

 
 

G, I spent 23 years or some such in Manhattan, but moved to Ohio in Jan 2006.

I control all the Ohio voting machines, when I’m dreaming.

I’m dreaming of Ted Strickland, Governor…Lee Fisher, Lt. Governor…Marc Dann, Attorney General…Jennifer Brunner, Secretary of State…Richard Cordray, Treasurer of State…Barbara Sykes, Auditor of State…Sherrod Brown, U.S. Senate…Mary Jo Kilroy, 15th District House of Representatives…(still looking for Democratic candidate for dog catcher, but he or she has my vote).

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Gentlewoman, be at ease. We all clicked over. We all click the links when doing so doesn’t seem destined to cause imminent harm (I’m lookin’ at you, Pam, but it hurts). Why do we do this? Because clicking links leads to evidence, and we are the party of evidence.

Now, go pet Ganesh, who’s undoubtedly wishing for opposable thumbs so he too could click over.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Sometimes you’ll get Annie, Mal, Ruppert and the “OJ Simpson Case� guy all on the same thread. It’s truly magical.

Has this actually happened? I’ve seen all four here in a single day but on different threads. I propose a contest: develop a thread designed not only to get all four of them here, but to pit them in mortal combat against each other. Then when they get totally absorbed in their clawfest, we sneak in and steal the . . . No, wait. OK, we can set the timer and wait for the explosion . . . No? Umm. Well, I haven’t worked out all the details yet.

 
 

“The trouble with computers, of course, is that they’re very sophisticated idiots. They do exactly what you tell them to, at amazing speeds.”

Yup. Gary has, officially, started up his “cover my ass and unleash the harpies!” campange. If Repubs win it’s, “I told you so!!1”, if the Dems win, it’s, “The stoles my precious!”
No matter what, it’s certainly never a Conservative’s fault. Ever.
*sigh* it’s like trying to live with six year olds.

 
 

Has this actually happened? I’ve seen all four here in a single day but on different threads. I propose a contest: develop a thread designed not only to get all four of them here, but to pit them in mortal combat against each other. Then when they get totally absorbed in their clawfest, we sneak in and steal the . . . No, wait. OK, we can set the timer and wait for the explosion . . . No? Umm. Well, I haven’t worked out all the details yet.

I’ve been on threads with both Annie and Gary, but one comes and leaves than the other. In order to get all four of them, you’d have to come up with a topic that all of them would want to sound off on. Rendering OJ Simpson to Syria where we find out he’s registering Osama Bin Laden as an illegal voter? And he’s not freshly squeezed?

 
 

I think Gary and Pammie just conceded the election, getting their excuses in early!

 
 

“The fact is that Gary has also been sighted commenting on Balloon Juice. I feel… betrayed. ”

Let the blogslut shaming begin!

 
 

OK, sorry I doubted your link clicking, guys. Ganesh Bengal Cat is currently sleeping, thanks be to the Elder Gods. And he hasn’t broken anything in days! He did spill an entire Diet Pepsi on the floor the other night, but nothing actually broke, so it doesn’t count. Nothing like floor mopping at 11 PM to really bring home the joys of being a Handmaid to Teh Felines. I keep a shrine in my apartment to Ganesh, Remover of Obstacles. The main component of the shrine is the Sony Vaio laptop, which is now a $2k bookend, due to a little misunderstanding between Ganesh, a pint of green tea with honey, and the keyboard of the laptop.

Hey, where did Gary go? You’d think he’d be proud that someone is touting his gainful (?) employment, even though it is unlikely to bump him up to Ruling Class status.

And come on, be fair, the OJ Simpson guy is really sweet. In a totally deranged sorta way. I like him. He’s got his obsession, and he’s working it. Piling up the evidence, using up untold amounts of bandwidth. At least I imagine he is, I’ve never gone over to his site. I think it’s nice that he still reads Sadly, No! even though we are not believers in his cause (whatever it is).

Didn’t we have Mario, annieidiot, the Garybot, and mal all on one thread that’s still on the front page? I must go look.

Count me in on the flypaper-post-designing brainstorming, if we didn’t.

Because that must happen.

 
 

Meanwhile in other news, the news is out that Claire McCaskill evades her taxes and her family uses tax shelters in Bermuda. While she promises to raise taxes on working people. This should be a knockout punch to her campaign, as Jim Talent gains tons of momentum due to a backlash against the Michael J. Fox ad.

The Fox ads = Wellstone Memorial II

 
 

I’m tempted to cut and paste an entire Gary Ruppert comment on a right wing blog, just to see how many people agree with him.

 
 

OK, on this thread: http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/4057.html, we had: Gary, Mario the OJ Simpson guy, annieidiot, and a Jose Chung, but I’m pretty sure it was a faux-Chung. No mal, though. So close.

Meanwhile in other news, the news is out that Claire McCaskill evades her taxes and her family uses tax shelters in Bermuda. While she promises to raise taxes on working people. This should be a knockout punch to her campaign, as Jim Talent gains tons of momentum due to a backlash against the Michael J. Fox ad.

The Fox ads = Wellstone Memorial II

That’s all nonsense Gary. You didn’t even provide any links to WingNutDaily or anything. You know you have to show your work.

But never mind that. Tell us about your real estate wealth-producing career! That’s what we really want to hear about.

Where exactly did you say you were in Missouri, Gary? And have you notified your parole officer that you’re in Missouri?

 
 

This should be a knockout punch to her campaign, as Jim Talent gains tons of momentum due to a backlash against the Michael J. Fox ad.

Only in a rabid wingnut’s mind could Rush’s making fun of Parkinson’s translate into massive momentum. I doubt even mal would think that Americans are that stupid.

I also want to know how Gary makes a killing on real estate. Gary, could you tell me which pyramid scheme you use, because the ones I try just don’t seem to work.

 
 

Gary, can I make thousands from the comfort of my own home?
‘Cause that would be cool.

 
 

The fact is that the Democrats will steal the election due to the work of Venezuelan Chavez supporters, such as the ones who own Sequoia. Chavez has a lot of experience in stealing elections too, such as the recall where the exit polls had him down 59/41 and he won 59/41.

As well, Venezuelans are advising the Dems on how to switch votes, and helping them herd Illegals to vote on November 7th.

The fact is I need professional help. In other words, I’m a wackjob.

 
 

The fact is that every poll shows a swing towards Talent after Michael J. Fox’s arrogant ad

 
 

Everyone wants to do the “Talent”.
What about the key grip, huh? What about the best boy?

 
 

The fact is that every poll shows a swing towards Talent after Michael J. Fox’s arrogant ad

Like, er, this poll…and this one…Doh! Stupid HTML, how do I make links?!

 
the_millionaire_lebowski
 

Hey, has anyone been able to pull up http://www.thepoorman.net lately? It seems to have been down for a while now.

 
 

New rule: Gary is to be ignored unles she provides links.
Yeah, what a pompous asshole, going on TV and endorsing a candidate who favors funding for research that might hold a cure to a degenerative, terminal desease that he and millions world wide suffer. Dickweed. Why don’t you get your crippled ass off my television and make room for more Friends re-runs.
God, I hope you get Lou Gehrigs, Gary.

In other news:
I had to find 1000 brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass or Ozzy wouldn’t go on stage that night. So Jeff Beck pops his head around the door and mentions that there’s a little sweet shop on the edge of town, so off we go. So there’s me and Keith Moon breaking into this sweet shop right, well, instead of a guard dog, they’ve got this bloody great Bengal Tiger! Well, I managed to take out the Tiger with a can Mace, but the shop owner and his son, that’s a different story. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes!! Nasty buisness really, but sure enough, I got the M&Ms and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.

Just for you, Gentlewoman.

 
 

The fact is that most polls show Talent ahead 48-45:

http://www.electoral-vote.com/evp2006/Sen_graphs/missouri.html

Wait, that’s within the margin of error. Doh!

 
 

What about the key grip, huh? What about the best boy?

I only go to movies with Garcy Wayne as Best Boy. If he ain’t in it, it just ain’t worth watching. OK, if Clarence Potter is the key grip, maybe the picture is salvageable. Maybe.

And come on people, when Gary talks about polls, it’s one extremely scientifically based and personally conducted by him at a Jim Talent rally.

 
 

….bloody great Bengal Tiger! Well, I managed to take out the Tiger with a can Mace…

LOLOLOL Some Guy you crazy man! Besides, I thought it was Van Halen with the brown M & M fetish.

Ganesh Bengal Cat is not a Bengal Tiger. I live in a studio apartment in an elderly/disabled housing complex, fer chrissakes, you think they’d let me keep a tiger??? Lemme see if I have the skillz to post a photo of Ganesh:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/83668456@N00/131612139/

There, hope that works. Twenty pounds of muscle, and no brains to speak of. He’s an anomaly, most Bengal Cats are not so big and they are usually quite clever. My Ganesh however, is ‘beautiful as the dawn, and vacant as a jar.’

the_millionaire_lebowski: The Poorman Institute for Freedom and a Pony has been down since yesterday, I think. Sifu Tweety must be on another sekret mishin or he would fix it, I’m sure.

 
 

Hi Gentlewoman.

For everyone,

Now, Now, Now. I don’t “Clawfest” with people who haven’t “done me wrong.”

But how about this? Someone get the ILLEGAL, SCUMBAG, LYING, COWARDLY Patrick Frey (AKA Patterico) here on Sadly No and let me and him debate The OJ Simpson Case. A while back, he was blogging about it several times. I will make a complete and utter fool of him, AGAIN……………

MarioGeorgeNitrini111
mariogeorgenitrini111
__________
The OJ Simpson Case

 
 

Hehe, that’s a fine lookin cat there.
I think cat intelligence has gone down in the past few years. One of my mom’s loves to eat plastic bags, and routinely hangs on chair backs and fights her own feet. Hopefullly, one day they’ll figure out that when the stove is red, it’s also hot, and maybe they shouldn’t walk on it.

 
 

I propose a contest: develop a thread designed not only to get all four of them here

Don’t forget Dr. BLT.

 
 

The fact is that this new Corker ad is certain to GOTV:

 
 

“The fact is that every poll shows a swing towards Talent after Michael J. Fox’s arrogant ad ”

Hee! Um, yeah, Gary. I hope the election results crush Fox, the arrogant little bastard with his “tremors” and his “making sense”.

 
 

Some Guy, I have never had a really high opinion of cat intelligence, but Ganesh is exceptionally witless even for a cat.

Eating plastic bags is a new Dumb Cat Behavior for me, I hope your mom doesn’t let her cat do it, I’m sure plastic bags are not good for cat innards.

Ganesh has never walked on a hot stove, but I believe that is mere chance. I’m sure he will get around to it. Then we can add to the thousands of dollars (seriously) he has racked up in vet bills. I get free medicine and other stuff every time I take him to the vet because they pity me so. Plus they love Ganesh, he looks terribly fierce but never objects to the various unpleasant things they have had to do to him. And they like to watch him walk around with a paper lunch sack on his head and bump into things. They bring in the whole staff and whoever’s in the waiting room to see it. Everyone likes that, it’s one of his best things. That and breaking stuff.

Hey Mario! How are you? I don’t think Patterico comes here any more. I haven’t seen him around so much lately. He may be working on campaigns or something. Maybe after the election you’ll have better luck getting him to debate you. I’m not sure here is the best place for it though.

J, the Dr. hasn’t been here for ages. I imagine his songwriting keeps him pretty busy. 😉

 
 

Hi Gentlewoman, LOT’S GOING ON………..

Well, I’ll go for debating him (Patterico) after the election if he is up for it.
Whatever Brad thinks is best for his website, is OK for me.

MarioGeorgeNitrini111
mariogeorgenitrini111
__________
The OJ Simpson Case

 
 

and helping them herd Illegals to vote on November 7th.

Now this is a new concept to me, Gary, and I need knowledge. First, how do you “herd” illegals? I mean, what is the process? And what do you use? Horses? Dogs? Motorcycles? Lowriders? Do you have to go out in the pasture and round ’em up first? Or do you just wait at the stock pond til they come for water? How do you run down stragglers? Do you rope ’em? Do they ever stampede? C’mon now, take some time out, cowpoke, and educate this city dude…

mikey

 
 

I herd my illegals in a dune buggy like this

 
herr doktor bimler
 

It is not safe for me to download your Ganesh photographs, Gentlewoman. Mehitabel the Abyssinian is watching. She would probably retaliate by throwing up on the keyboard.

 
 

“We’re gunna get those ilegals! Now watch this donut…”

 
 

His grace, that is an awesome pic in an awesome series.

 
 

Hahahaha, herr doktor I am sorry you have a yakking cat. There are really only two breeds of cats, yakking and non-yakking. I have one of each.

Abys are beautiful, Mehitabel I adore you! If you ever tire of herr doktor, I would be happy to be your Handmaiden. Everything here in my apartment belongs to cats. How cool is that? We have fleecy perches in all sunny windows, we have cushy kitty condos, we have both carpeted and sisal scratching posts, we have paper sacks for hiding in, we have the flying t-o-y and a zillion balls, jingle and non-jingle. We have organic catnips. We have the tuna-flavored yummy sticky medicine for hairballs. We have harnesses for walking out if you care for that, but we do not enforce walking out for cats who do not care for it. We allow showering with the Handmaiden if you like it (Ganesh likes it), and we have special cat towels. We have two huge litter trays with the expensive crystal litter, but we will get another sort if you prefer it. We have pugdog and giant poodle and minidachsund friends available for romping if you like romping with inferior species, but again, we do not enforce it, if it is Not Your Sort of Thing. We have expensive prescription slimy and crunchy food available, but we will try every food on the market until we find one that is acceptable to your Mehitabelness. We have both hard flooring and soft, upholstered and carpeted surfaces for yakking up on, and the Handmaiden cleans up yak and there are no recriminations.

How can you resist? Leave him, Mehitabel! I have always wanted to live with an Aby, and I will serve you devotedly. Leave him!

mikey, before Gary tells us how to ‘herd illegals to the polls’ he needs to tell us how to make our fortune in real estate! I didn’t even know Gary had a job, but in addition to telling us ‘the facts’ he is apparently creating wealth through real estate investment, and I demand he tell us the facts on real estate.

 
 

Liv-A Snaps?
Liq-A Schnapps, I’ll wager.

 
 

GW, if I may be so bold, perhaps Gary made his killing on real estate by herding illegals. After all, I’m sure that once he successfully shepherded the illegals from his neck of Missouri back across the border, all the Americans could get those high paying Wal-mart janitorial staff and fruit picker jobs. Prices thus skyrocketed.

 
 

Gentlewoman. I have to offer you teh sad truth. Gary DOES indeed have a job. Gary cleans the administrative offices and the dress-out/locker room at the local municipal sewage treatment plant. He works six to midnight for $11.50 an hour plus shift dif. Gary knows, somewhere in his unimaginative heart, that somehow he could get chicks if he just had some money, like those other guys he sees on tv. But see, Gary’s overweight, still struggling with acne at 33, and has irregular hygiene habits. He’s pretty sure that chicks would dig him anyway if he just had money, so he offers this self-image on the ‘net. Problem is, he’d be terrified to actually meet them, but that doesn’t stop him from presenting an image of a financially successful republican. After all, from bush and cheney on down, his political heroes have a LOT of money.

Just to offer my take on the previous, I have no children, no pets and no potted plants. Mostly, that’s the way I want it. I like cats, and enjoy visiting my friends cats, somewhat more than visiting my friends children. But it has it’s downsides. I just took a beautiful fresh fall california apple crisp out of the oven (Just, as in between these two paragraphs) and it smells like heaven in here. The sad thing is I’ll only eat one or two pieces, and I’ll take it to a client’s office for them to share. But, like painting and playing the guitar, you make treats for the making, not for the eating…

mikey

 
 

For six years Democrats and others having been saying there are problems with the voting machines. Six years of problems with voter purges. Six years of Voter suppression. Now three weeks before the midterms Republicans start talking about it?

Fuck yeah they are trying to prime their base. It should be interesting to see how far the torture-loving, WMD swallowing, hiding-under-their-beds -in-terror, warmongering bigots spin the bullshit.

 
 

But, like painting and playing the guitar, you make treats for the making, not for the eating…

mikey, you are a poet of life. 🙂

I still want to know exactly where in Missouri Gary actually is. I don’t care what he does, so long as he’s not doing it within 50 miles of me.

 
 

Gentlewoman, you just keep fresh 9mm black talons or frangibles in that lil’ ole gun in your purse (and change to a fresh magazine every six months, ok?) and a fully charged mace cannister (none of this pepper spray, CS is the real deal) and don’t worry about Gary. He’s a bigger threat on the net than he is in real life. I reckon he, like me, would politely call you ma’am and move right along…

mikey

 
herr doktor bimler
 

Gentlewoman, Ganesh clearly has you right under his non-opposable thumb.
Mehitabel is probably his equal for brainlessness, but has a less attractive personality. Shedoes not bother to mask her quest for world domination… can I call her a Abyssofascist? Or is that a mixture of Greek and Latin roots?
I have come to regard Abyssinians as the super-models of the cat world. Good looks, a bad attitude, no brains, and a proclivity for throwing up at any excuse.

 
 

My cat, Kitty Cheese – I tripped over her in the dark, said “Kitty, Jeez!”, and from the other room my boyfriend said, “Kitty Cheese???” – eats plastic bags too. Well, she doesn’t eat them, but gnaws at them. I have to try to remember to put any bag out of her reach. My theory is that since she’s an indoor cat, she uses them as a substitute for grass. She licks them, too. That particular sound drives me batty, but otherwise, she’s an exceptionally smart animal, and very loving to me, although she’s the terror of my son’s teenage friends – which increases my respect for her intellect.

Jose Chung hasn’t been around in ages. I think he should be considered a bonus troll in any troll-baiting contest.

 
 

Can I just say, in spite of trolls and torture, I love it here? Thanks Brad, Gavin, Travis, Retardo and the elusive Seb. This is a place to believe in…

mikey

 
 

Speaking of trolls, I fear I broke annie’s heart. i’m sorry princess, but i love gary.

 
 

Candy, the Wank Chung is back at its old haunts over at Digby’s place. It seems to have gotten more aggressive, however. I blame the frequent and savage maulings it got over here at Sadly, No!

And you can grow cat (wheat) grass in any sunny window. It grows very fast, too. My cats adore it. Also fresh catnip can be grown indoors in pots. Let’s keep the kitties off the petrochemicals, people! Kitty Cheese is a wonderful name, btw.

I have come to regard Abyssinians as the super-models of the cat world. Good looks, a bad attitude, no brains, and a proclivity for throwing up at any excuse.

herr doktor, this is sheer brilliance! I salute you! If I ever manage to persuade an Abyssinian to allow me to become her Handmaiden, I shall call her Naomi Campbell. And keep her away from cell phones.

mikey, I need a fresh magazine every six months? Geeky Gun Shop Guy did not tell me this. At least, I don’t think he did. I’m from Connecticut, and I am only just learning to speak Missouran. And I don’t trust myself with pepper spray OR mace, as I would probably end up macing myself. That’s correct, potential malefactors. I am not ept, and I have a gun. Fear Me!

I do also love this place. I think, in my current ramped-up-on-IV-steroids condition, I may even have sent a late night email to the S,N! lads telling them so, but they are probably watching sports on teevee and have not yet seen it, or they are contacting their attorneys to find out how restraining orders work. I know I committed trollicide over at Echidne’s blog, but she is a gracious goddess and has forgiven me. 🙂

So, just to recap, and in case you have been wondering why I have posted eleventy-seven times on this one thread, blame the ‘roids.

Hey, it works for baseball players.

 
 

wow… I lasted just over a minute, but then I remembered I don’t have another keyboard, so I choked back the bile and came here…
what a crock of pseudo-intellectual bullshit.
she is the smartest person in her neighborhood… just ask her

 
 

mikey, I need a fresh magazine every six months?

Sadly, my dear, yes, you do. Teh spring spends it’s short life under tension, and after six months it can no longer be trusted to deliver fresh rounds to the chamber of the Lil’ Ole gun with any reliabiliity. Resulting in “Tap, Rack and Clear” drills. Surely your trainer worked you thru all this. If not, fire it immediately and get a real combat pistol instructor. It’s not hard, but it’s not something you want to do wrong….

mikey

 
 

Gentlewoman, I’ve been hoping to purchase a house, and grow catnip in the yard – just the dried stuff alone gets Kitty Cheese so stoned, though, I don’t know how junked out she might get on the fresh stuff – but I think it will be a few months until I can do that, so I will probably attempt the wheat grass thing. The only problem is, the Cheese has the run of the apartment, and getting the wheatgrass past the germination phase could be tricky. She dines on my houseplants on occasion, which is most annoying. I’ve worried a lot about the plastic thing, but she is healthy as a horse, never yarks, (she’s one of the non-yakking ones), and passes her physicals with flying colors. She is pure alleycattus, and as tough as nails… and, as the boyfriend says, “Thirteen pounds of thud.”

Jose always seemed a bit more coherent than some trolls one could mention, but was of course just as wrong. He also seemed a bit meaner than our dear Gary. The notion of him becoming even more vituperative is not a pleasing one. Perhaps we should be careful what evil spirits we invite in. I recommend proceeding wth the troll baiting with caution. It is almost the feast of Samhain, after all, and the curtain between the worlds is thin…

 
 

That’s six months with a loaded magazine in the slide, right mikey?
Cause if magazine springs die after six months empty, some one really should come up with a better plan.
Also, magazine springs be replacable, yush?

Or you could get a small revolver and circumvent the entire issue…

Steele’s down by nine points last i checked.

 
 

Candy, be careful about houseplants. Several of the common ones, including most sorts of ivy, I think, are toxic to cats. Here is a link to the Merck Veterinary Manual section on Houseplant and Ornamental toxicology:

http://www.merckvetmanual.com/mvm/index.jsp?cfile=htm/bc/212702.htm

The Manual is an invaluable reference and is available free online.

As far as stoned kitties, the effects of catnip wears off after about 20 minutes, and then it takes another hour or two, I think, before they can toke up again! They just eat the fresh stuff, it’s not so potent as the dried. I just tie up the fresh stalks and hang them upside down inside a paper bag in a a dark closet to dry them, just like any other herb. I’m sure your vet will tell you, catnip is harmless. But check out your houseplants! We want Kitty Cheese to live a long and healthy life!

Yes, Jose Chung was never as jolly a troll as our own Gary Ruppert. At Digby’s they mostly ignore him unless he says something so heinous that he needs to be smacked down. I think Jose stopped coming here because he’s humorless, essentially. Well, so is Gary, but I think he enjoys humor in a way. But of course, there are so many fake Garys here, that perhaps the real one left long ago, and the only ones still here are the performance artists. Perhaps none of us have ever really seen an actual Gary Ruppert comment! How meta would that be?? 😉

 
 

Thanks for the Merck link, as i didn’t even know there was a veterinary Merck. (I’ve spent a lot of time perusing the human version, however, in my many years as a hypochondriac.)

I’ve had both cats and houseplants for many years, and have fortunately not had any bad instances, although a friend of mine had one very sick kitty for a while. I forget what her kitty ate, but I think it may indeed have been some form of ivy. I have golden porthos, arrowhead plant, and spider plant, and just recently was given an enormous tree, which must not taste nice. At least, thus far she has contented herself with grabbing the branches, pulling them down, then letting them go so that they snap upward again. Apparently, she finds this very amusing! the result is that I have almost as many crispy brown leaves on my carpet as I do on my balcony. I think I’ll buy a carpet rake.

And now, I must to bed… Even with the blessed extra hour gained, the hour groweth late.

 
 

Oh! As for Gary not being real….. yes, Gentlewoman, there is a Gary Claus! Every time you hear the Garybot chiming, a nut gets his wings.

I feel so empty… Gary not real….

(Wow, I must be more tired than I thought.)

 
 

I need a fresh magazine every six months?

Hells yeah! At least! Otherwise it gets awful dull reading the same old stuff sittin’ up there on the can.

My SiteMeter says lots of people clicked your link, gentlewoman. T’anks! Gary confessed his real estate acumen on Eschaton somewhere. I think he was about to buy a golf course on Betelgeuse.

 
 

Can I just pitch in for a moment with a “Rush Limbaugh *is* massive momentum!” joke?

And my cats are not nearly so spoiled, but we do have nearly a hundred dollars’ worth of assorted organic and all natural cat foods in little cans that they’re not interested in, as well as about eighty worth of assorted treats we’ve bought in the last month in an effort to find something they’ll accept as a reward for good behavior (like not defiling my carpet just because I had the bad manners to go to sleep and ignore them for a whole four hours). There are still four brands we haven’t tried yet, and the pet shelter is going to find itself with a very weird bag of stuff in a while.

 
herr doktor bimler
 

I’m sure your vet will tell you, catnip is harmless.

It’s not the health of the cat that worries me. Metty on catnip? I’d rather deal with a rottweiler on crystal meth.

 
herr doktor bimler
 

I need a fresh magazine every six months?

Now I’m wondering about green paisley walking-sticks. Should they be checked regularly by a mechanic, too? All that brandishing could affect the balance.

 
Prometheus Stuttered
 

Did she just say an ‘impossible’ war?!

And what’s with the pile of DVDs on the table next to her? I kept expecting her to lift one to the camera and say ‘and here’s my video of blowing John Bolton. Only $29.95 from my blog!’

 
 

we just got THE BEST CAT TOY EVER (interactive-human necessary division)- my wife got this little laser pen at the local pet-mega-mart, and it even gets my fat boy, Shorty, up and RUNNING and JUMPING!!!! when the only other thing that will get him above a trot is being frightened (now i know where the expression “fraidy cat” came from) or wrestling with his little brother- Tom, our oldest, is afraid of it, but the other two never tire of chasing the little red spot of light, and it is not exhausting, messy, or exclusive to one cat at a time, nor does it involve rabbit fur.
i love you people

 
 

The “plants toxic to _put animal species here_”-thing is kinda fascinating, since from one domestic animal to a different type, you have fairly exclusive list of bad things. For dogs, it’s a really odd and eclectic list.
There’s chocolate, which can be fatal, but only in fairly large quantities. For a large dog like mine, it would take several pounds of the stuff to do him in, so if he got ahold of a single choco kiss, foe instance, I wouldn’t worry too much. Macadamia nuts are toxic. Onions, too. And raisins and grapes–if a dog eats enough of ’em, their kidneys will shut down. Completely. Fortunately, it takes quite a bit to get to that point, and the effect is temporary. Unfortunately, before the kidneys re-activate, a lot of organ damage can occur, and it occasionally kills.
Those were just off the top of my head, there are plenty of others. And those were all “things people eat that dorgs shouldn’t,” not even touching on houseplants and outdoor plants that are problems.

 
 

And what’s with the pile of DVDs on the table next to her? I kept expecting her to lift one to the camera and say ‘and here’s my video of blowing John Bolton. Only $29.95 from my blog!’

I’d buy that for a dollah!

Actually, no… not even for free.

 
 

Anyone who has used Microsoft Windows knows that computers can be programmed to lie…

 
 

You are a lot less informed than you think you are.

“Big winds come from empty caves.”

Stop playing on the internet and go cook your husband’s dinner.
And brush your teeth, you’re sucking cock tonight!

 
 

Mikey asks: Now this is a new concept to me, Gary, and I need knowledge. First, how do you “herd� illegals? I mean, what is the process? And what do you use? Horses? Dogs? Motorcycles? Lowriders? Do you have to go out in the pasture and round ‘em up first? Or do you just wait at the stock pond til they come for water? How do you run down stragglers? Do you rope ‘em? Do they ever stampede? C’mon now, take some time out, cowpoke, and educate this city dude…

Dude, s’easy. First, collect your wrangling equipment: Those little wheeled fridge carts selling off-brand ice cream pops and tamarindo free-zees, and those other little carts with bags of pork rinds and mysterious deep-fried ring-shaped snax. Lead the parade with a ’64 Chevy Impala lowrider (with the welded-chain steering wheel and Aztlan homeland mural on the hood). Drive slowly past the Orchard Supply and the Home Creepot, nodding slowly as them migrints look at you. They’ll just fall into place behind you, like some sort of Pipero de Pie. Any of ’em give you any lip, tell ’em you’ll buy ’em tacos for lunch, and they’ll each get a hand-job from any soccer mom they see — but only after they’ve voted a straight D ticket.

 
 

Pam always seems like she’s trying to be the conservative version of Randi Rhodes, only without the intelligence, wit, and charisma.

 
 

Damn! That’s a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel in that vid. That’s a righteous dog. They’ll curl up in your lap (well, most people’s), they’re just so affectionate and adorable and pretty near perfect, if what you want is a cuddly dog friend.

Some things just aren’t fair. We’ve got to save that poor fucking dog!

 
 

I want to say – thank you for this!
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White Power!! LOL This crap reminds me of this skank who went to school with me named Jamie Wilksinon at Port St Lucie High School. Her brother is Steve Wilkinson. I thinkkk you remember. He was another wanna-be fake skin but anyhow. His sister ran her mouth all the time and finally someone jumped her at IRCC in Fort Pierce. I thought it was funny because she swore up and down she was a skin when she needed help but nobody believed her. She use to smell so bad like rotten fish or something. Anyhow white power bittches!!! Florida will be white again.

 
 

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