Ahhhhh! Freak out!

Rod Dreher, American Conservative (do I even need to edit this, it’s like wingnut perfection):
America at the Movies 2016

Ladies, gentlemen, non-binary individuals of all ages, I bring you truly chilling news. News that will shock you to the bone and send shivers down your spine in true unadulterated terror. News that will flay you alive and play merry hell with your insides. News that will open an eldritch portal to nightmare lands man was not meant to know. News that will obliterate all of human existence, plunging us into a perpetual hell from which we may never return. News that will undo everything that is and everything that was in pure nihilistic destruction and leave us all not even memories on a frictionless glass plane extending perpetually in all directions.

Trans people… trans people exist.

I know, I know, I share your outcries of dismay and consternation. How could a loving God allow such a demonic horror to blight our perfect world? How can we ever believe in joy and sunshine and non-gay rainbows when we now can no longer avoid the terrifying idea that people who do not identify as the sex they were assigned at birth freely walk the streets and may even poop in closed cubicles completely unmolested by Republican senators.

And you may be saying to yourself. Okay, but that’s contained, right? In godless heathen Europe lands and reality television and the blighted hellscape that is Target?

But, dear reader, I have bad news.

Not only do trans people exist, they… I shudder to speak these words, but… they exist… everywhere. Like, not just in the modern day Sodom and Gomorrahs of New York, LA, and San Francisco, but even in god-fearing good Christian white towns. Even in your schools!

Already, tiny demons hiding within supposedly human children have been transing in schools all around the country, asking to pee instead of holding it in all day like the secret lizardpeople they are!

And we can try to stop them. Oh yes, dear reader, we try. We try so very hard. We pass laws like North Carolina House Bill 2, we muse about whether arming our school kids with pepper spray and mace will help aid them in hosing down any transgender (sorry, I meant to say, perverts and pedophiles, lest we accidentally treat these inhuman monsters as something akin to a human) who dares think of expelling nitrogenous waste down their urethra (or as I like to call it, their sin tube). We accuse them of “ruining other children’s lives” simply for daring to exist. We’ve even sent the bravest of anti-abortion terrorist men into their bathrooms to harass what they believe to be trans women (trans women are the ones with the short hair and the shirts that say lesbian on them, right? I mean, I’m not so silly to think they all have full-length beards, but that one’s right, right?). We’ve made scare-tactic fake “prank” videos designed to make trans bathroom use look super scary for cis women everywhere.

We’ve even upped our campaign of physically beating them because their existence is forcing unclean thoughts into their non-existent children.

And yet?

They keep existing. Swarms of them. And now that we know these foul demons exist, we can’t help seeing them everywhere. Is that a guy with long-hair or a footsolider of the transmahomosex agenda?!?!? Our children could be being recruited under our noses with nary a care and we could even… GASP… see them in our daily lives. Completely unafraid that we’ll eliminate them from the face of the globe like the monsters they so clearly are.

And not only that, but… *sniff*… they see us as… as… “bigots”, simply because we want to drive them to suicide in order to preserve our crystal clear ignorance as to their very existences and deny them the most basic human rights as access to a safe and legal location to expel bodily waste or the right to exist in public without violence.

Have you ever heard such unamerican violence against the real victims in this whole affair? After all, we care so so much about… what was it we were throwing up as our bullshit on this one? Something about thugs getting t-bone steaks? No, maybe something about recruiting our children? No? OH, of course, we suddenly care about rape… so long as it’s an imaginary trans woman doing it to our pure artifact girl children. What? Care about actual rape? Pfft, why would we do that? Oh, by the way, Dennis Hastert needs leniency for his clearly minor crimes.

And, it gets worse, dear reader. It gets worse than even all that.

They… they… I can’t even, let the shorter say it for me…

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • Trannies! They… go to popular movies! And… uh… TALK ABOUT SEX! And uh… exist? I’m not a bigot but you need to be really irrationally scared of the existence of these people and what their proximity to you could mean for the safety of your children! I mean, I once stood next to one in a line once and uh… I guess I wasn’t actually attacked or anything, but I WAS IN FEAR FOR MY LIFE! ALL TRANNIES MUST BE BANNED TO MOVIES I DON’T SEE SO I CAN PRETEND NONE EXIST NEAR ME!

Truly, our once great nation has fallen. And there is no Ted Cruz to set it right *single tear*. Truly God has abandoned us once and for all! Roll my tale of woe!

Well, not mine, per se, but my friend, who said it totally happened to them. And then they fought off ninety ninjas and it was bad ass. You should have been there.

I just got a phone call from an old friend in north Texas. She does a lot of work with law enforcement, especially in the area of domestic violence counseling and response. I hope she will not mind me saying, but she’s a tough Texas chick.

I totally believe that Rod Dreher, misogynist supreme personally knows tireless domestic violence workers who consider him such a close friend that they would reach out to him early on, possibly first in an emotional crisis. And that these totally real and not at all transparently made up characters who totally experienced this definitely real experience are the sort of tough, take no-shit Southerner who nonetheless retires like a wilting flower in the presence of anything different, reacting like a misogynist’s asshole of what women are “really” like when the chips are down.

Yeah… let’s get one thing out of the way.

This event is probably faker than Donald Trump’s toupee. Just another made-up bullshit story designed to scare the little shit-stirrers into a frenzy at the thought of the trannies among us in order to migrate all their little hate dollars to the next designated target.

But what’s amazing isn’t that Rod Dreher is more full of shit than Donald Trump at a corprophilia conference. It’s how even the made-up bullshit story of “a friend of mine knew a guy who heard from an email chain” type myth-making still can’t manage to think of a genuinely concerning thing the demonic trans people are doing to provoke such a frightened response.

And that’s kind of amazing right now. Bigots are so convinced that everyone is just as terrified by the mere concept of a woman who was assigned male at birth as they are, that they mumble in confusion when anyone tries to ask them what exactly people are supposed to be afraid of when faced with the prospect that trans people may go to school or stand in line or poop in a toilet. Like a human being. Like, seriously, creepers, stop peeping on people in the bathrooms. It’s gross.

So from now on, even though this is the biggest pile of dog feces since the last time Trump tried to shower off his layers of filth, let us transport ourselves to a magical land where everything they said was true. And act as if this wasn’t the transparent attempt by a bigot trying to keep their hate hat in the ring.

As if this rancid pig excrement was as real as the fear I feel whenever I think of Donald Trump’s election chances. Which will definitely be quite the task because Rod Dreher doesn’t exactly believe in subtlety.

She called to tell me what she and her teenage son dealt with last night at the movies in Frisco, a prosperous suburb of Dallas.

“I thought I knew what was going on in this country,” she said. “I was wrong.”

In a world… where trans people exist, one woman stands alone. She thought she knew what was going on in this country. She was wrong! This summer, random Dreher friend IS Bathroom Avenger 2: The Panicking 3D!

She had taken her teenage son to see the Captain America: Civil War movie for his birthday.

Her poor precious, innocent, unsullied son… who was a teenager…

Hey, conservatives, you do realize that when you make up fake kids for us to feel scared for, you don’t actually have to make them the sort of age where keeping them in ignorance about the world around them goes from charmingly backwards to deeply disturbing. Fuck, this is giving me flashbacks to the lady who was worried that Degrassi having a lesbian character was going to “corrupt” her 16-year old with bisexuality.

In line behind them waiting to buy tickets stood several men in their early 30s who were obviously transgendered, and a young woman who presented as a man, though was plainly a female.

Oh, yes, of course, they were “obviously” “transgendered”. Mmm hmm, not at all just gender-non-conforming cis college students looking to watch the current most popular movie. Nope, definitely secret trannies.

After all, conservatives have the best track record when it comes to telling who is trans or not.

Cause their impressions of trans women isn’t at all based on years of movies depicting cis men in “comedic drag” and has nothing to do with actual trans people who actually exist in the world. Nosiree Bob.

So, yeah, even if this did happen, it’s pretty damn likely that the offending “transgenders” were nothing more than a pack of rowdy cis community college students coming out on a weekend evening to see one of the big hot movies of the summer.

My friend, “N.”, said the group started talking about sex, including their favorite positions, their favorite sex toys, you name it.

Oh, yes, trans people in open-carry twitch-curtain Dallas, Texas would clearly be big on talking loudly about sex and not just trying to avoid the stares of asshole bigots worried that the trannies will corrupt their children with voodoo mind-control powers.

See what I said about subtlety?

But hey, magical fantasy land where all this is totes real. Evil trannies… STOOD IN LINE… BEHIND HER… because… it was a line and that’s what you do and um… losing the scary, think quick and OOOOH, they were TALKING about… SEX. Like ALL THE SEX. Just sexy sex talk. Positions, sex toys, all of it. And I was only a little jealous and turned on! But only because of the scandal of TRANS PEOPLE TALKING!

Like, holy shit lady, who gives a fuck? Like, oh, noes, some 20-somethings hanging with their friends talked about sex and sex existing. I’m horrified. Like, fuck, you can’t get 20-somethings to shut up about sex and all the ways they’re banging, but make the mythical 20-something trans and then, OH NOES, defcon 11! They not only exist, but they have totally normal sexualities just like any other human being! Raise the motherfucking alarm.

One of the group was 20; an older transgender said to him, “You’re just a kid now, but when you turn 21, we’re going to take you out and get you broken in.” They proposed an orgy.

And then they invited her to the orgy, but she said no thanks because she was married to a hot superspy philanthropist horse trainer president boyfriend, but white and who owned an island. And then she got on her rocketship to go to their private bungalow on the moon.

Dear Bob is it hard to pretend this rancid garbage is even tangently related to reality. But again, who cares? Magical world, pretend this isn’t some sad pathetic storytelling right here and is instead a hard-hitting factual takedown of just the facts, ma’am, if that is your real gender?!?!

And on that note… do conservatives think the age of consent is 21? Like a 20 year old is completely legal to have an orgy if they so choose with consenting partners over the age of consent. It’s not like there’s a magic orgy age separate to the age of consent where finally the right to drink and fuck over two partners at the same time become legal.

And so what about any of this. They weren’t stripping down in front of you and your artifact child. They were talking about sex like 20-somethings do. That’s not really a crime or even particular noteworthy. And it’s not like your teenage son is too young to be ignorant of the concept of sex. Hate to break it to you fictional friend of Rod Dreher, but your imaginary teenager probably is having sex, maybe even an orgy with their similarly aged friends on the regular. Because teenagers are probably the only group outside maybe middle schoolers with filthier minds than early 20-somethings.

On and on like this. And more transgenders joined them, not waiting in line, but moving towards the front to stand with their friends.

A whole army moved down, surrounding me on all sides, their flannel shirts and jeans gleaming in the moonlight. They covered my body in kisses, licking me on all sides with their powerful yet gentle arms.

I swear Dear Penthouse, this happened to me!

And seriously, conservatives, fucking just let yourselves write erotica rather than treating every supposedly “serious” column as an excuse to justify whacking off to whatever new fetish you discovered this week. And that goes double to creepy Milo and his “daddy” obsession with Trump.

N. told me that the trans group was very aware of itself, and did not care who heard their filthy talk.

And we all know, if there’s one thing trans people love to do in a public space with a potentially hostile crowd, it’s draw direct attention to themselves! We love getting death stares and active calls for our murder! It’s like Christmas morning!

But fuck, now I want this to be real. Because I want to believe that things have improved enough in this country that a group of 5 or so trans folk felt safe and comfortable enough to just be ordinary rowdy kids enjoying a night on the town, without having to check their every 6 for potential threats or being cowed by the passive threat of death.

It means that somewhere there is a pocket of fearless trans folk in the heart of the suburban Southern wasteland who do not give a fuck and do not feel the pressure to give a fuck.

It means that somewhere, trans people feel comfortable and safe enough to simply exist like any cis person. Like they should feel safe enough to do if the world was not brutish and cruel. And that thought fills my calloused heart with as much joy as Loretta Lynch’s verbal smackdown of Pat McCrory’s bullshit.

So fuck it, I’m fully on board. Totally real, FUCK YES!

N. said, “I’ve been molested. I’ve been raped. If this had been a group of men talking that way about their sexual adventures, I wouldn’t have had any problem going up to them and asking them to tone it down.

Why? I mean, it doesn’t sound like they were sexually aggressive, merely just talking about sex stuff. If these were all-American good-ol-boys, and they weren’t being gross leering assholes, who the fuck gives a shit if they were talking about sex.

Like, random fake friend of Dreher, I’m sorry you were molested and raped, but that is not exactly a free license to block anyone else from talking about sexual topics near you forever. I mean, it sucks if you were triggered. Triggers suck and it sucks if they happen just because of a bunch of loud assholes set you off. But that’s not really their fault assuming they weren’t being crude to you personally.

Someone not just made up by Dreher because he felt claiming this story happened to him wouldn’t have the same air of “poor raped woman threatened by tranny sexuality” to fit into the current transphobic narratives of the trans threat to “normal” people, would well… not have that reaction to being triggered by in-depth sexual conversation. Hell, I know some violently sex-repulsed ace folk that can’t even be in the same room when sex talk happens. They don’t react by telling random strangers to stop to accommodate their boundaries. They just up and leave.

But I guess it wouldn’t be a conservative polemic unless we assume the only means of handling uncomfortable solutions is to either ban the existence of anyone not exactly like you or otherwise stop them from being themselves in a way you don’t approve of personally.

But I was scared of this group. They were so angry. You could feel it coming off of them.”

IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION! Oh, how I missed you in my long absences, my old friend.

Yes, it was the evil trannies who were scarier than even cis boys who are filled with anger. Not at all the entire hate movement dedicated to literally stomping them out of society and denying them housing, employment, or even public accommodations and cheers their murder and suicide rate who are hateful. God, no! No, it’s all the mean evil trannies who are scary and that’s why we need to block them all from women’s bathrooms!

Trans… men??? I don’t understand the words you mean, there. You mean men who dress like women, yes? Non-binary??? Now I know you’re just making up words. Silly liberals, everything is a binary if we push the Overton Window far enough.

“Why didn’t you go to the theater management and ask them to say something to the transgenders?” I said.

Those durn “transgenders”. Why didn’t you just stop them transgendering all over the place with their transgendery ways.

You know… I might have an entire hate movement dedicated to ruining the life of everyone like me in order to further their paychecks under threat because of their losing the marriage equality fight, but I gotta say…

Watching conservatives flail around with basic trans terminology like a teenager fake drowning in the shallow end of the pool might be the funniest shit on the planet.

Damn “transgenders”!

“Because the group would have known it was me,” she said. “I would have had to have left the line. Plus, in this environment, I doubted that they would have done anything. Nobody wants to risk being called a bigot.”

Spare a tear for the real victims in this whole mess. Conservative bigots literally terrified into petrification at the thought of trans people merely standing in a line with them worried that someone might think they’re bigoted just because of their irrational fear of the existence of other people and the fact that they believe that the underpaid teenage theatre manager would have done jack shit other than roll his eyes at the crazy old bigot lady ranting about “slutty” trannies doing the sexy talk with each other.

She said that after they went into the theater, but before the movie started, the trans group continued their foul, verbally abusive behavior.

Of course, Dreher refers to it as “abusive” behavior. Cause doing something a conservative doesn’t like might as well be intentionally doing something to discomfort, belittle, and harm said conservative.

People being different IZ THE TRUE OPPRESSION YOU GUYSssssssss!

N. asked her son if he wanted to go to the bathroom before the movie started. He told her he did not feel safe doing that.

Your son did not feel “safe” using the Boy’s restroom because of the “dirty” trans women… Umm…

Okay, Dreher’s friend that lives in Canada, um… do you or Dreher have the first damn clue about like… anything? Period?

Cause, like, this whole kerfuffle is offensive and awful, but even the “stellar” brilliant mind of Pat McCrory has at least figured out the talking point that we’re all supposed to be scared of our pure innocent virgin daughters being alone with evil tranny women and their pedophile pervert rapist hearts.

But you…?

Nooooope. And I have to wonder just how this random scare bit is supposed to work. Like, are the trans women intentionally misgendering themselves and using the wrong bathroom? Despite being apparently so confident that they are loud and brash without fear and having a crew to help protect each other in the restroom? All so they can continue to assault her poor kid with the knowledge that people other than them exist in the world?

Like, there’s literally no other way to read that other than scared cis people literally inconvenience themselves because they think doing the thing that they ask literally all trans people to do (hold it until they get home) out of nothing more than pure irrational fear of the other and the belief in the corruption of spaces by the existence of said other (oh hey, is that an argument that black trans people corrupt a bathroom by their mere presence in the same building) is a sign of genuine oppression and proof we must severely curtail the liberties of the targeted marginalized population.

And it’s just pathetic. Like, I’m glad this is fake, because otherwise, these fucking people need goddamn help getting over their twisted Fox News driven fears and prejudices and to get over their shit. Not a “sympathetic” demagogue vomiting their irrationality onto a national landscape (*cough cough* Literary papers publishing personal cries for help hidden in “intellectual” fear of trans people *cough cough*).

Rod, I have gay and lesbian friends. I have a bi friend,” she said. “None of them behave like that. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Oh hello flashbacks of my dad arguing that he had a gay friend and so couldn’t be transphobic as he tried to force me into reparative therapy, I hardly recognized you.

Yeaaaaaah, can we all agree to quietly bury this whole “I totally have X friends, you guys” shtick. Like, no one believes it least of all you, so just drop the pretense and say what you fucking mean already.

They were egging each other on. And the sense of rage coming off those people — it was evil.

Okay, at this point, they are just literally recycling anti-black talking points. I mean, yeah, there’s a lot of mutual support between the trans community and Black Lives Matter, but we are actually two distinct movements, albeit with a non-ignorable overlapping population.

Also, finally. Yes, we are in fact all evil. In fact, we’re hiding underneath your bed right now. I guess you’ll have to stop using the toilet in your home too. We might have existed at it late last night and turned it gay and trans.

And here’s the thing: this was not in Austin, this was not in Deep Ellum [hipster Dallas neighborhood], this was in the far north suburbs.

“This was not at the fringes. It’s in a town that’s home to three of the biggest churches in Texas!”

And that’s the source of the freak out by Dreher, ain’t it?

The fear that the filthy non-Dreherins might not just live miles away in liberal wastelands, but may exist in his neighborhood, may even shop at his stores, may even walk on his streets, may even go to his movie theatres, and may even use the toilets near where he uses the toilet.

And that terrifies him, because if trans people exist, then he’ll have to grow up and acknowledge that. He’ll have to learn about the world and accept that what he was taught was incomplete. He’ll have a tantrum and yell and scream and rant about how it isn’t fair that there are people who aren’t exactly like him allowed to live their lives without his input on how they’re bad and wrong and should go away forever.

And no matter what he does, the genie’s out of the bottle. Trans people exist. And he can either deal and adapt to that or he can die a sad old wreck ranting about the niggers using the white toilets 50 years out of date.

Cause, even the bigots know how this sad dance will end. They’re just hoping to wring a few more decades of life out of the same old bigoted and fearful song and dance.

And the sad reality is that as pathetic and cheap as this all is. How without a leg to stand on their arguments are…

The reality is that it really doesn’t matter. The fear of trans people for putting a lie to the belief of a massive gulf between men and women where one was born to serve and the other to rule, for confronting their anxious masculinity fears of one day “losing” their “man card”, for revealing yet another way they are deeply ignorant of the realities of how this world runs.

And that fear and hatred will have reverberations for years even if all these bathroom bills and pro-discrimination ordinances fail like they have been and even if groups continue to hammer on these hateful lies and bigoted laws.

Already we have seen it energize and give candid support to bigots to harass people in Targets and “police” restrooms for gender non-conformance. Already we’ve seen a major political party write hating us into their official positions. And a major candidate for the US presidency literally spend a good week or so running on a campaign of how terrifying our very existence should be for “right-thinking Americans”.

Already we’ve seen an uptick in the amount of trans folks on the raggedy edge of suicide and an uptick in the amount of hate crime murders.

The hate makes it scary and threatening to even live out here in the world as a trans person. And especially as a trans person who isn’t exactly the most concerned with meeting a particular exaggerated presentation of masculinity or femininity.

And if the scared buffoons of the right want to scare themselves half as bad as they scare me sometimes, they can go right the fuck on ahead.

Fuck Dreher and fuck this cynical hate machine trading the lives of trans folks for so fucking little other than animus and a desire to hold on to the anti-queer bucks just a little longer.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Don’t ask me to promise anything, but I’ll be here sometimes (albeit probably infrequently) and maybe soon I will write again about something that isn’t this anti-trans bullshit. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Comments: 64


Fred “Slacktivist” Clark did a good job ripping this apart.


ZOMG!!! Those transgenders BUDGED?!?! oh, the humanity!

N. said, “I’ve been molested. I’ve been raped.

Fuck you.


Assuming that this friend of whatsisface exists and that every thing is exactly as he reported, the leap to “I felt threatened” is still a gaping hole in the argument. We’re told that they were all talking about sex, loudly and publicly. Okay. And then we’re told “they were angry, you could tell, the vibe was just evil.” But the speaker can’t even report anything they actually SAID that was angry or threatening. It’s just… you could TELL. It was the VIBE. Maaann.


Additional thought: while I can understand that a lot of people are made uncomfortable by loud, public and graphic conversations about sex, the idea that this has anything to do with transgender people is too ridiculous for words. White male heterosexual good ole boys have been doing this forever.


Damn, girl, I thought if you spilled that much salt, you were supposed to throw at least a pinch over your left shoulder.


Inkberrow, I think the words of William F. Buckley to Saul Alinsky apply here: “I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.”


Penthouse Forum is really declining these days.


Inorite? It’s almost a shame Inkberrow’s drivel got cut off and distributed amongst the poor; it deserved to be preserved at BIPM in Paris as the platinum-iridium prototype of fractal wrongness. One could, in theory, have written a series of comments, each as long as Inkberrow’s, explaining how he had almost, but not quite, understood what he was talking about in any given paragraph. One would, however, have to have far more patience with willful stupidity than I currently possess or ever expect to; every time I tried to compose such a reply, echoes of my juvenile epilepsy washed my vision with a red haze and made my brain start to itch. And that was just somebody who actually understands these things; how much worse must it be for our gracious hostess, who has to live with the consequences of “people” like Inkberrow who think their hatred of her isn’t really hatred and is fully justified anyway?


Shorter Inkberrow:
Why can’t I be the social justice mascot du jour? Damn these disadvantaged people for taking attention away from me!


The kkk can’t have it both ways…they can’t claim transgender people to be a minority of people so tiny that they don’t even merit consideration, and then complain their local suburban movie theater’s been taken over by a horde of that same tiny group.

that is my favorite part of the slacktivist takedown of this obviously invented tale of horror…I’ve read it like three times now, and each time I giggle because, amirite?

either Obummer is a tyrant or he’s ineffective and feckless. or we have to make special bathrooms for the microscopic trans community because liebruls are shoving it down our throats, but wait, that’s an argument we started, but shut up, small government!@!!!!11@!!



It had to be censored because it was ignorant drivel posing no viable challenge whatsoever to the Cerberus post it book-ended. Good and decent progressives cannot suffer Inconvenient untruths to remain.


Um Yeah–

Please don’t take my impermissibly noncomformist reply to Cerberus’ preening vulgarian’s establishment-culture reach-around the wrong way. As you say, the Disadvantaged.

I do not propose in any way to minimize the sometime social opprobrium our own plucky LGBTQers have endured of yore and even of late as they’ve finally managed to emerge from those dread Shadows to apply a deserving deathgrip on the pop culture and civic melodrama Spotlight. After all, per the Pew Survey LGBTQers comprise a full 3.5 percent of the population, with trans folks a discrete fraction of that fraction. For our Willy Nomans, Outsized Attention Must Be Paid.

And they are genuine Civil Rights identity-group heroes for all that! Who among us does not shudder in collective shame at photos of “LGBT Only” drinking fountains and swimming pools? That’s after decades of de facto and even de jure denial to LGBTers of rights to vote, hold office, rent and own property, and pursue certain educational and vocational goals, THAT”S after LGBTers were rounded up in untold thousands for sale and centuries of forced servitude on a foreign continent.

Yes, there are the naysayers who’d claim that aside from some situational legal obstacles, now removed, and some social obstacles, now largely removed, in polite company at least, that civil rights comparisons with say blacks or women are fatuously romanticized, that LGBTers have long occupied positions of wealth and influence and have enjoyed per capita income and education levels well above the societal median. But good and decent progressives properly defer to their ineffable Pain.



Heh. Okay, this one I’m keeping up, because the notion that trans people have money is the most hilarious thing I’ve heard today. Good job!



But the most colorful subgenre of Clinton literature is the conspiracy scrapbook. These books tend to differ from books that merely tear them down (think Christopher Hitchens’s No One Left To Lie To, 1999).


Haven’t been here in a while.

Glad to see you’re keeping up the good work Cerberus.


Inkberrow: It’s good of you to admit that you were lying through your so-called teeth and that you have never, even by accident, told the truth or had any idea what was actually going on. And yes, yes, concern troll is concerned. Your ability to pretend that you think of trans people as actual people might be fooling you, but it’s certainly not fooling anyone with an actual soul.


I’d like to apologize for my previous comment, and (in the words of a great American philosopher) as soon as I can find a way to do so while sounding sincere, I will. In the meantime, something for Inkberrow:

You keep reminding us of the poll that shows the LGBTQ people are “only” three-to-five percent of the population, not the ten percent figure that’s gotten into the mass consciousness from I know not where. My question is, what percent of the population would they have to be for you to consider that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are inalienable rights with which they are endowed by their creator (or, if you can’t take any deity seriously, rights which they possess by the grace of reality and the nature of their existence as reasoning beings), not special privileges they should be grateful that the cisgender heterosexual majority occasionally allow them? Three-to-five obviously isn’t enough for LGBTQ people to count as people in your alleged eyes; would ten percent be enough? This question is at least as sincere as anything you’ve ever posted.


Shocked, SHOCKED to find Rod Dreher loosing it over toilet choices.


Yeah, we know, stink barrel… prejudice against LBTQ people doesn’t exist… racism doesn’t exist… climate change doesn’t exist…

The GOP symbol shouldn’t be the elephant, it should be the ostrich…


You’re still treating Blink Error with far more respect than his drivel deserves. I can tell because you’re not in jail and he still has all his teeth.


Isn’t it weird being the mainstream hate crush, though?

For all these guys’ tantrums, where are the transgender advocates that are supposedly putting the jack boot to their throats on the way to the toilet?


Thank you for writing, Cerb.


I’m not one to engage a troll, but, uhh…

…I guess it escaped the troll’s notice that when segregation was about, it was illegal to advocate for homosexuals? Like, literal laws on the books, aside from the defacto punishment from the ‘good ol boys’ network that all minorities suffered from?


“non-binary individuals”

What about binary individuals? Robots, or as they prefer computer-Americans, have rights too!


BTW, do trans men not exist in the minds of wingnuttia? do post-op transsexuals? After all, the legislations they’ve been pushing because “we cannot let men with male anatomy into women’s restrooms” would force a post-op trans man with a PENIS to use the woman’s room.


One of the group was 20; an older transgender said to him, “You’re just a kid now, but when you turn 21, we’re going to take you out and get you broken in.” They proposed an orgy.

Lucky teenage boy. When I was a teenager, no group of rowdy androgynous “transgenders” proposed to take me out and get me broken in. I think if we asked the teenage boy (assuming he exists) rather than his mom, we’d get a whole different take on this evening; at the very least, I betcha Dreher’s interlocutor may have noticed the morning after this event that some tissues and hand lotion were missing.


I’m a bit late to the commentary, but two things jump out at me. No, wait three:

1) Damn funny article, if a bit long — just, soooo, spot-on!
2) That Inkberrow fellow really hates LGBTs, and I think we all get it, he can probably cease and desist now, point clear.
3) On Dreher’s own site, three quarters of the commenters are calling “Bullshit!”, and so then at the bottom it says “comments shut down because of trolls”. Um….I don’t think he understands what a troll is. Maybe Inkberrow can elucidate him.


Hola s
Cerb good to see you, Kong, and others. Currently attempting to work my way back from a trifecta of shit that really should have taken me to the prom at the promised land highschool. Fortunately I am apparently a tough out as the kids at one time might have been inclined to say. I guess that a cocktail combining pulmonary embolism, congestive heart failure and intracranial abscesses, should in most cases prove fatal. Apparently…..on second thought prudence is telling me yo shut my hole and appreciate the breathing.

I’ll roll back by soon and check in note frequently as I miss house guy…

Running outta juice, gotta run. Happy spring to allyall. XOXOX.



/ tilt


You offered one rather anemic and sort of accurate qualifier to my overall point about what is a laughable cri de coeur from LGBTQers compared with African-Americans or women.

So pointing out that somebody’s very existence was illegal is an “anemic and sort of accurate qualifier” in your eyes. That’s good to know.

Heck, even the Mathew Shepard case turned out to be a toxic fable like “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot”.

So when you say “a toxic fable” you mean “completely the truth”. Again, good to know.

And I notice you still haven’t answered my question. What percentage of the population would LGBTQ people have to be for them to be deserving of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, since you currently don’t appear to believe there are enough of them for those to be inalienable rights with which they are endowed by whatever endows us with such rights, rather than special privileges that they’re a bunch of greedy-guts for wanting?


Cerb, thanks for that fisking, Once again you manage to pound some worthless edifice of fearmongering into a ruin. I am revolted by people who try and tell us that trans people are so small a minority that they don’t need to be protected. It’s like they are searching for the thin edge of the wedge to bring back the back old days. Did they read that poem “First they came for the communists” and just keep looking for a group small enough to have no defenders? What are they going to do once they lose again? Are they going to take their hateful crusade to Africa like they did for Uganda’s Kill the gays law?


“how jarring it must be when a person in an unfamiliar habit enters the cloister. [Blah blah] even the Obama Department of Social Justice [blah] the Freedom Rioters and National Arson Network and (Some)BlackLivesMatter(More) citizen-heroes [bla] declining to validate or accede to every pose, whim and demand of the ad hoc, mutating LGBTI collective [blah] free-range sacred cows in our civic religion”

Wow. The last time I saw someone use so many words to say absolutely nothing, I was making the mistake of reading a Joel Stein column. Oh wait, no, I tell a lie: you were saying “Because we are not announcing that black people and sexual minorities are being killed for what they are, they’re not really oppressed and should just stop whining.” Or, if that’s not what you were saying, I’m at a loss to figure out what you were saying.

(‘I have a correspondent named Irwin Wingo in Weatherford, Texas. Irwin and some of the leading men of the town are in the habit of meeting about 10 every morning at the Chat’n’Chew Cafe to drink coffee and discuss the state of the world. One of their number is a dittohead, a Limbaugh listener. He came in one day, plopped himself down, and said, “I think Rush is right. Racism in this country is dead. I don’t know what the n[-word]s will find to gripe about now.”‘ — Molly Ivins in “Lyin’ Bully” [Mother Jones May-June 1995])

Yes, Inky, I’m “really unaware” of all the things you say in paragraph four, in the same way I’m “really unaware” of the Obama Administration’s plan to blow up the moon and destroy the farm belt with a rain of green cheese meteors.

The Dark Avenger

Jimenez’s reaction to the “Concerned Citizen” letter is typical of his reporting style. The letter-writer’s anonymity and lack of any actual evidence regarding McKinney’s sex life doesn’t appear to raise any red flags for Jimenez, who assumes that this anonymous tipster has revealed long-concealed truths about the Shepard case.

Anonymous or simply unreliable sources are at the heart of Jimenez’s effort to de-gay Shepard’s murder. An anonymous “Wyoming law enforcement official” told him that “Shepard’s murder had nothing to do with his sexual preferences.” Jimenez doesn’t elaborate on the extent of this official’s involvement with the case, but he assures readers that the official’s claim was “an assertion I would come to hear often during interviews.” Among the others repeating that assertion was Glenn Duncan, a disbarred attorney who lost his law license after allegations of misusing clients’ funds. Duncan agreed to an interview with Jimenez on the condition “that someone in the media finally tells the truth about Shepard’s murder.”

In fact, Jimenez relates, “[t]he more time I spent in Laramie … the more frequently I heard rumors of a cover-up around the murder.” While unfounded gossip is hardly unheard of in the aftermath of a horrific crime, Jimenez is seemingly convinced that these rumormongers are on to something.

The “hidden truths” Jimenez claims to uncover are that McKinney and Shepard were regular methamphetamine users deeply implicated in the drug trade, and that, contrary to what McKinney (the principal attacker), Henderson, prosecutors, and Shepard’s friends and family have always said, the two men actually knew each other before the night of the attack. What’s more, Jimenez says, the two had had sex before – suggesting that homophobia couldn’t possibly have been a factor in Shepard’s murder.

The principal source for the latter claim is Thomas “Doc” O’Connor, a Laramie chauffeur and operator of the Lincoln Escort Service. O’Connor told Jimenez that one night, McKinney and two other men were fooling around in the back seat of his limousine, and that “Matt may have been one of the guys in back [of the limo] with Aaron. … I can’t say for sure.”

McKinney has denied that he’s bisexual and there’s no evidence that establishes a link – sexual or not – between him and Shepard prior to the night he and Henderson left a Laramie bar with him and savagely beat him in an open field. Still, Jimenez persists in his claim. “Ten different sources,” Jimenez writes, “have acknowledged that they were in the company of both men together, or that they learned from Matthew himself about his relationship with Aaron.” Considering that his sources were primarily anonymous and struggling with meth addictions, it’s unclear why Jimenez considers them credible – particularly when both the killers and the victim’s close circle emphatically deny any connection between the two.

Jimenez insinuates that Shepard feared his death was coming – perhaps due to a drug deal gone awry. Jimenez seizes on the recollections of Shepard’s close friend Tina Labrie, who remembers a depressed and anxious Shepard in the days before his death, to conclude that Shepard was expecting something awful to happen to him. But as Jimenez notes earlier in the book, Shepard had been suffering the emotional scars of a traumatic gang rape in Morocco a few years earlier. In 2009, Shepard’s mother Judy told Metro Weekly that the rape profoundly changed her son.



all I’m doing is positing an irreverent (read: realistic) perspective, as you folks piously and uncritically denounce and cry alarum like Ward Cleaver’s pals about malt shop pinkos versus Good Patriots.

No, what you are doing, with all due respect, is the equivalent of walking, uninvited, into a private dinner party and taking a dump the size of a birthday cake on the table. We are trying desperately to clean it up, as it adds nothing to, and subtracts a great deal from, the atmosphere around here, but you keep expelling fresh steaming turds, and the pile of your shit, not to mention the pile of shit you’re, is getting awfully close to some of our plates. We will gladly engage you on the points you make as soon as you start making actual points, and not just extruding sneers and insinuations.

(Actually, I still have not treated, and cannot treat, you with only the respect you are due. This is because I [a] do not know where you live and [b] lack the skill in fisticuffs to knock one of your teeth down your fucking throat for every lie you have shat out.)

DA has explained, in considerable detail, the texture and density of the shit you are full of and made of, and I notice you have replied to him, but not actually answered him. Unless you’re admitting that he’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re full of and made of shit, but you haven’t admitted it yet. Maybe you can’t even realize it, let alone admit it.

I want to feel sorry for you, but I have friends whose lives actively do not matter to you. You believe that literally all black people deserve to die for being black, and that literaly all queer people deserve to die for being queer. The sooner you admit that this is what you think, the sooner you can purge yourself of the evil and possibly reach the point in your evolution where we can think about letting you mate with actual humans.

(Was I right to say that? Or is telling other people “We’ll get along fine as soon as you admit I’m reading your mind” something only right-wingers are allowed to get away with? Again, I ask that question at least as sincerely as any question you have ever asked, which is easy given that you have literally never asked a sincere question in literally any comment you have ever made here.)


Just took out the trash.

And just an open message to said trash, it’s not edgy to be retrograde. It’s not novel and some brave un-PC special snowflake of a thought to look down on that which is othered and sneer. To stand behind all the weight of conservative status-quo and pretend like doing the easiest thing for yourself is some brave counterthought.

Like, it’s honestly just sad. Like, here you are, just like McCrory, just like Paxton, pretending to believe in some conspiracy of an all-powerful queer horde, because to do otherwise is to let slip the truth. The other-du-jour scares you. Because to acknowledge them is to grow and to grow might mean admitting vulnerability and need to grow.

Far easier then to wrap oneself in disgusting Matthew-Shepard-trutherism because you can’t handle the reality of what side you’re on. That the queers you hate are not responsible for your economic oppression, did not destroy our economy, and that we suffer and die for petty bigotries, no different than yours.

There is a public national “debate” right now on whether I have a right to shit.

And it exists because people like me are perceived, correctly, as being powerless and publicly worthless. Because people feel this time people will accept the thinnest of masks in front of, I want these people to stop existing.

And well, we’re not actually going to go away.

So grow up and goodbye and whine about being “censored” because your life is so absent real oppression that the notion that someone might scrub your dick drawing off the bathroom wall is what you imagine it looks like.

Spoiler warning: Not even close.


Also, on a separate note, what is with sad little turds thinking that their little runs of diarrhea are the first time the oppressed have heard tired hatred?

Like, oh no, my worlds collapsed. Someone hates me for being trans. S’not like I hear that literally every day of my life including as the top news stories on my feed. S’not like I write for a site going directly to the mango farms. Nope, this completely ruins my self-image and convinces me of the error of my ways.

Makes no damn sense outside being the fragile bleatings of a toxic masculinity tru believer.


what is with sad little turds thinking that their little runs of diarrhea are the first time the oppressed have heard tired hatred?

Probably something to do with the proverb “Truth can never be told so as to be understood, and not be believed.” The fact that you keep on existing shows them that you don’t believe their “truth”, so they’re faced with the choice of conceding that it might not be the capital-T Truth, or explaining it to you until you understand it, believe it, and act on it.

Although, in case the trash ever comes back, I hereby preemptively refer it to the advice lately given to gaysian transphobe commenter “parkhyun” by Dog Dawg Damn over at the Juice:

When you can come up with one example of a cis person posing as trans for any sort of strategic advantage (which is what these stupid hypotheticals come down to), then get back to us. Until then, educate yourself on the realities as they are, not fanciful hypotheticals carefully designed to deny people their civil rights.



Shorter Rod: True Trans Texas Terror!!!


And on that note… do conservatives think the age of consent is 21? Like a 20 year old is completely legal to have an orgy if they so choose with consenting partners over the age of consent. It’s not like there’s a magic orgy age separate to the age of consent where finally the right to drink and fuck over two partners at the same time become legal.

If Ron’s tale were true, it would mean that the ‘angry’ transpersons are less libertine about sexual matters than your average fundamentalist conservative believer of any Abrahamic religion.


haha “sin tube”. In all seriousness, I get you, It’s not fair and people are afraid. There were “out” trans people at my high school so it just seemed pretty normal to me, and couldn’t understand it when I saw the outrage that that started to happen when the LGBTQ rights movement took off. (haha sin tubes)


Lemme see if I hazez this straight.

I believe in bigfoot, ghosts, UFOs and the Loch Ness monster.

Retropuke Roddy believes in Jeebus (action 277V spin-fuck chair not included) and ‘N’, and he has a paying writing gig.

There is evidence for bigfoot, ghosts, UFOs and the Loch Ness monster.

People leave the room when I start speaking?


Over the decades, our culture has come to romanticize mobsters – think Tony Soprano and the enduring love for the character despite the fact that he was a murderous sociopath


I wish daphne would get it’s own blog.


I wish daphne would get it’s own blog.

think yes, go there and quit telling me what to think here…


Many of the Republican-led assaults on Clinton over the years were purely political (think Benghazi), but that’s no reason to assume a perpetual defensive crouch.


Think Dick Cheney with a larger ego and a toddler’s head bobbing atop a body that resembles a stuffed polar bear, and you’ve got Newt Gingrich’s vice presidency.


“I’ve been molested. I’ve been raped. If this had been a group of men talking that way about their sexual adventures, I wouldn’t have had any problem going up to them and asking them to tone it down. But I was scared of this group. They were so angry. You could feel it coming off of them.”


Oh, also … obligatory.

Frank Forchins

Excellent article, Cerb. As always!

Frank Forchins

Excellent article, Cerb. As always!


Some of the big-name commercial pickup artists who make a living off selling books and seminars on pickup — think “Mystery” from the VH-1 show about pickup artists — largely avoid sharing political views, but some of the edgier pickup artists that have come up in the social media

Northern Observer

Not that I don’t love your fabulousness but the love that won’t shut the fuck up does produce an occasional migraine. Dryer is a willowy southern queen looking for action but I must admit I am not a fan of the lifestyle triumphant. Tough shit you say? I get it you feel raw about it and need to let loose. Just remeber that société is a two Way street and not a three Way expose on a tuesday afternoon.


Democrats went over to the dark side, taking up the cause of the well-manicured executives (think: Goldman Sachs)

Frank Forchins

Not your father’s Democratic party, daphne.


Bernie couldn’t win POC. Ballgame.


In retrospect, as he watched sales continue to flat-line, aging obscure pop icon Justin Bieber would come to rue entitling his 2047 R&B comeback concept album “Fragile Bleatings Of A Toxic Masculinity Tru Believer.”

Jane Gagle-Bennett

I was at blue, and Richard posted that Providers_UNE had posted here about being very sick and coming back from being almost dead. Just wanted to say I was worried about him, and I hope his health continues to improve!


Of course this story is true. He made it up just now.


This Inkberrow buckethead doesn’t seem to know how stuff works or what words mean, despite the pathetic attempt to dress up bullshit in pretty diction.


tsam, you should’ve seen Inkberrow’s other comments, the ones we replied to before Cerb cut them off and distributed them amongst the poor. Or did he extrude some more drivel and I’m only seeing your reactions to it?


Judge links Clinton aide’s immunity to ‘criminal investigation’

Sorry for the shameless copypasta, but this…..

A former information technology aide to Hillary Clinton received immunity from the Justice Department in connection with a criminal investigation, a federal judge confirmed Tuesday.
Bryan Pagliano, a computer expert who worked at the State Department while Clinton was secretary of state and was also paid privately by her, was previously reported to have received immunity in connection with statements he gave to the FBI about Clinton’s private server set-up.

However, there had been no explicit confirmation that the investigation—which Clinton has repeatedly referred to as a “security review”—is actually a criminal probe.

“The privacy interests at stake are high because the government’s criminal investigation through which Mr. Pagliano received limited immunity is ongoing and confidential,” U.S. District Court Judge Emmet Sullivan wrote in an order issued Tuesday.

So now you know.


Assuming that this friend of whatsisface exists and that every thing is exactly as he reported, the leap to “I felt threatened” is still a gaping hole in the argument.

The assumptivision, a mixture of fevered terrors, night sweats, among a litany of overactive responses that tingle the nethers as a go to response always makes for a WIN!!!


Hello Jane.

Still kicking and breathing and working my way back into a semblence of self. by many accounts I should really be enjoying the beginning of a well earned and restful Dirt nap, but apparently the almighty has currently fixed his canon ‘gainst that oprtion.

I was at blue, and Richard posted that Providers_UNE had posted here about being very sick and coming back from being almost dead. Just wanted to say I was worried about him, and I hope his health continues to improve!

The Dark Avenger

Glad you’re still with us.


Get well soon, Provider.



Oh man, I’m so glad that you’re safe and getting better. *hugs*


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